FicWad

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, only the plot.

WARNINGS: Swearing, insanity, angst - more next chapter, LOL!

Chapter Eighteen - Something's up with Frank


"Maybe we should take him back to the hospital Mikey and -"

"NO! No fucking hospitals Frank. I don't want to go back! There's nothing wrong with me. It was just a stupid dream, that's all!"

"But Gerard ... you were having a seizure!" Mikey whined, clearly taking Frank's side. "I don't know whether it's going to happen again or whether you have some sort of brain damage or -"

"Oh very funny Mikey ... I don't have brain damage, it was just a tiny bump on the head!"

"I know, I know. But, it's not natural and I've never heard you scream like that before either, you're not well!"

Gerard groaned in frustration as he held the frozen packet of peas back onto the back of his throbbing head. Now that the whole ordeal in Mikey's lounge room was over with, it was hard to believe it had ever happened at all. In fact, he felt kind of silly for having flipped out as much as he did.

Had the figure in the shadows and the noise even been real?

"At least tell us what the dream was about then," Frank reasoned as he ran a hand through his hair, clearly exhausted at having to catch up with everything that had happened before he got there.

"Umm, well ... it's kind of hard to explain -"

"Try Gee, please, we're trying to understand so that we can help you," Mikey whined, a hint of impatience in his voice.

Gerard closed his eyes, willing patience to return to both of his friends. He needed them to understand that he wanted to tell them, but it was all too soon. Gerard didn't even want to admit to himself what had happened, let alone everyone else.

When he had apparently taken far too long to answer, Mikey slammed his hand down hard onto the dinning table that they were all sitting around. Gerard glanced up just giving Mikey a disapproving look as he moved the frozen packet of peas away from his now ice-cold head and the bump that was fixated there.

"If you're not going to talk to me Gerard then I'm taking you back to the hospital," Mikey finally shouted, standing up and walking over to him.

Instantly Gerard too stood up and hurriedly stepped away from his approaching brother. He wasn't going back, he didn't want to talk to the psychiatrist again, he didn't want to sit in those horribly isolated rooms anymore.

"Fucking hell Mikey, j-just give me a second and I'll explain," he said, still backing away. Mikey didn't stop his insistent walk towards him.

Gerard even thought about throwing the bag of peas at his brother’s head. It would be a futile attempt at stopping him, but he knew it would slow him down. He was just getting ready to begin his plan, arm pulled back, peas ready to launch when his hand was grabbed by a much smaller figure who merely took the frozen bag from him and glared at the two of them incredulously.

"Really you two, now is not the time for these childish banters. Could we all please just sit back down again and talk like proper adults," Jamia shouted, setting her eyes on each of them in turn just to prove how serious she was being.

Instantly everyone resumed their seats and with a heavy sigh Jamia tossed Gerard back his precious peas and continued to address them all.

"I think we should wait until Lindsey gets here and then she can be the one to decide what we're going to do with you," Jamia stated quite simply as she dared anyone to argue with her.

Gerard opened his mouth to protest but thought better of it. He was tired, cranky and he was beginning to feel slightly unwell. Besides, he could smooth things over with Lindsey, win her over with a few desperate pleas.

"No way, he'll just whine his way out of it!" Mikey complained, pointing an accusing finger at him. Apparently they could read each other's thoughts now to. "I'm family too, more so then her and I say he goes to the fucking hospital."

"Mikey!" Jamia said fiercely, hoping that using his name in that manner would snap him out of his rant.

"You weren't there Jamia! You didn't hear him scream and you didn't see him thrashing around on the floor all despondent and all."

Mikeys voice cracked a little as he spoke and Gerard felt himself feeling slightly defeated. Somehow he knew Mikey was right, he should go back to the hospital, but he really didn't fucking want to.

Glancing around the table he noticed how quite Alicia was being. In fact, he hardly even remembered she was there with them. She seemed just as scared by the incident as Mikey did, it was clear sending him back to the hospital was her vote to.

They all sat in silence, clearly no one having anything else to say. The moment the door swung open and Lindsey stepped into Mikey and Alicia's home, however, it all seemed to start all over again.

"What's happened? What's going on? Are you alright Gee? Mikey did you say he had some kind of seizure?" she cried out the moment she noted all of their grim faces and studied the bump on the back of Gerard's head.

Mikey snapped back into ranting mode again as he tried to explain to Lindsey exactly what had happened and exactly why they needed to take him back to the hospital that very instant. Jamia tried to put some calm back into their frantic questions and statements whilst Alicia actually stood up and began defending him too. He was shocked that she seemed to be on his side stating that if they took him back to the hospital it would only get worse.

As they all stood around loudly discussing what to do with him as though he wasn't even there, he secretly wished he could just melt away into the floor and disappear forever. It was at that moment that his eyes locked with the only other person being just as quite as he was.

Frank.

There he sat, directly opposite him, eyes staring blankly at the table. Gerard continued to stare at him until Frank finally must have sensed he was being watched because he looked up and weakly smiled at him.

Gerard felt all kinds of terrible right then and there. He knew that Frank was blaming himself yet again; after all, Mikey had ordered Alicia to call him right in the middle of his little fit, hoping that Frank's mere presence would snap Gerard out of whatever the fuck he had slipped into. It seemed Mikey's fairy tale ending was being shattered all around him though, Frank was no miracle worker, his presence wasn't making the nightmares go away and Gerard began to wonder whether all of what was happening actually did have anything to do with Frank.

Perhaps his overly complicated feelings for Frank were just the tip of the iceberg, perhaps it was just too much all at once. What if Frank couldn't save him?

Finally the conversation that was going on all around them finally became too much and Gerard abruptly stood up as he threw the peas onto the table and turned to face the bickering group of adults.

"Would everyone please just shut the fuck up!" he cried out causing all of them to turn and stare at him in shock. "I'm a fucking adult not some child that needs taking care of and I think I can speak for myself this time. I'm not fucking going to the hospital and that's final! So if you could all kindly shut up and find something else to argue about it would be very much appreciated!"

"Gee, we're just trying to help," Lindsey tried to reason, reaching out for him, but he snatched his arm away.

"You're not helping; you're only making it all worse! Just stop arguing, just stop yelling and let’s all just sit down and have a proper conversation!"

His words were final, he wasn't going anywhere. But if it would make them all stop worrying about him then he would sit there and explain, to the best of his ability, just what exactly had happened to him in Mikey's lounge room.

Okay, so he didn't exactly intend on telling them all the truth, that was sure to land him a one-way ticket to crazy town. But he could at least have enough silence to perhaps think over some believable answers to a lot of the questions he figured they deserved to know.

"So you'll explain to us what happened then?" Mikey asked, making sure he fully understood what Gerard was proposing.

"If you'll all just sit your asses down, then yes, I will try my very hardest," he said, rolling his eyes at his irritating younger brother.

With some mumbling and carrying on they all found a spot at the table, Mikey and Alicia sat together, staring intently at him, waiting for an explanation he knew they deserved. Lindsey sat next to him, placing a hand on his knee and rubbing it in small circles as he secretly wished, that for the time being, she would just not touch him like that.

Jamia took her spot next to the deathly silent Frank; he forced a grin when he was met with her presence but she merely frowned at him and scrunched her eyebrows together in concern. It was clear now that they had all settled down that she noticed Frank's rather uncharacteristic silence.

"This is about a billion times better, I can actually hear myself think," Gerard announced, if only to break the silence.

Everyone was waiting for him to start talking but he couldn't find the right words with all these eyes boring into him. He needed an escape; he needed an alternate way to tell his story. What he needed was everyone to start asking him questions, that way he could let them know he was alright without giving away the fact that moments ago there had been a figure in the shadows singing to him and his split personality.

"Um - so, any questions?" he began, as though he had just told them all the story of his life.

"I have one," Mikey said, getting annoyed. "When are you going to tell us what the hell happened?"

"I told you Mikey, it was just another stupid dream, that's all! Everyone has them, this one was just slightly troubling, that's the only reason I woke up screaming," he explained, shrugging his shoulders as though it was all rather simple.

"Just a dream huh? You were clutching at your ears and shouting 'make it stop' and 'help me'. Then you just started shaking and sweating like crazy until I finally got you to open your eyes. If you ask me, that's no normal dream," Mikey explained as he glanced around the table for confirmation that the whole ordeal was something to be concerned about.

Lindsey sniffed from beside him and as he turned he noticed a stray tear roll down her cheek, it was clear she hadn't heard the whole story yet and now she knew just how bad he had been. Frank shuffled in his seat as Jamia bit on her lip, still watching him closely as though trying to read what was wrong with her husband.

"Come on Gee. You remember your promise. You said you were going to tell us everything from now on," Mikey said, this time his voice was barely a whisper.

Gerard remembered. That day in Mikey's bedroom when he had explained pretty much everything to his brother and his best friend. The day that Frank had walked out to attend to the troublesome Leathermouth CD, the day that led to this new melt-down. And suddenly he understood why Frank was being so quiet. He wasn't stupid, he probably remembered how he had promised to call and never did, Gerard certainly remembered, it had stung.

That was the last time they had seen each other, yesterday fucking morning. Since then all this had happened and if Gerard knew Frank, and he did, he knew he would be secretly cursing himself for all that was happening. Gerard suddenly wished that there was nobody else in the room but himself and Frank, he needed to explain. Somehow, he needed to make it right.

"I'm tired," he finally declared, deciding that he had had enough of this little intervention. He hated how every set of eyes was on him, waiting patiently for him to continue.

Truth was, Gerard wouldn't have minded taking Mikey and Frank aside and explaining to them what exactly had happened. The last time they spoke, they had both referred to Gerard's other self as 'Gee2', almost as though he was a real person. He was certain that they would be quite interested to find that there was quite possibly a 'Gee3' now to.

Yet, he knew he couldn't take them aside, the others wouldn't understand, Lindsey wouldn't understand. He knew he wasn't being very fair but the truth was, he didn't want to talk about it anymore, he had had enough for one day.

To his great surprise, nobody seemed to object to his declaration of being worn out, it was clear Mikey didn't want to let him off so easily, but Alicia silenced him with a look before everyone seemed to glance at one another as though unsure how to proceed.

"Do you want to come back home?" Lindsey asked, finally breaking the silence. The hand on his knee stopped moving at the question and Gerard considered it for a few moments.

Mikey sat upright in his chair looking slightly worried. Gerard knew that Mikey wanted him to stay with him, if only to keep him under constant watch and perhaps get an explanation out of him later when he wasn't feeling so overwhelmed by all the prying eyes. But Mikey also understood very well that Gerard was married now and had a responsibility to his wife too. He knew it was hard for him, but Mikey kept silent, letting him make up his own mind.

"I don't know," he stated quite honestly.

The truth was that he wanted to stay with Mikey. But the look on Alicia's face, Mikey's reaction at what had happened, how he had shouted to him, clung onto him desperately after his latest episode, was it fair if he put them through that again? Yet, did he want to put Lindsey through that again as well? He was running out of options.

"Maybe you can come stay with us, give everyone else a break," Jamia finally spoke up, looking at Frank as though asking with her eyes if he approved.

Frank just looked from his wife to Gerard, there were still no words that left his mouth as he simply shrugged and diverted his eyes once more.

Honestly, Gerard was extremely grateful that Jamia had put the offer on the table, but he felt like he was some problematic teenager that was being moved around from home to home, trying to find one that he would finally behave himself in. Could he actually stand being in the same house as Frank and his wife though?

Now he just felt down right trapped, he had no idea where he wanted to go. The truth was, he just wanted to be alone, but he knew they would never go for that. What if something happened to him whilst he was sleeping again? If there was no one around to wake him up, what then?

"I think you should stay here Gee, just a bit longer," one voice finally spoke up and Gerard was surprised to see that it was Alicia. "You can stay too Lindz, the more people to keep an eye on him the better ... maybe."

Gerard hated that last statement, but somehow he felt eternally grateful that at least one person stood up and made a decision for him. It was actually just what he wanted to hear, it seemed to be the right answer and when Lindsey nodded her approval and turned to him for confirmation he couldn't help but smile and nod right back at Alicia.

"If you're sure it's okay, then that would be really cool," Gerard replied, picking at a leaking hole in the forgotten bad of peas, just for something to do.

"Of course I'm sure, I think it'll work out really well," Alicia continued, smiling at the now slightly more attentive Mikey. It was clear he liked this plan.

"Right, well we best be getting out of your hair then," Jamia suddenly announced and Gerard spun around to face her, almost completely forgetting that her and Frank were still there ... almost.

Jamia didn't mean it to sound abrupt or rather direct, but it did come out that way. It was clear she was actually quite eager to leave and Gerard knew that he had a good idea why. Frank still hadn't spoken a word; Frank still looked as though he had a million questions on the very tip of his tongue. Frank looked like he wanted nothing more then to corner Gerard and ask him everything that was on his mind.

"You don't have to leave so soon," Alicia quickly cut in almost fearful that she thought Jamia's tone was directed at her and at how she hadn't offered for them to stay too.

"No, no, really its fine Alicia, we've got to be going. You ready Frank?" Jamia asked, directing her eyes to the small frame next to her.

Frank didn't respond. He was still staring at that spot on the table, clearly lost in his own thoughts. That was about the time that everyone else seemed to notice just how strange Frank was acting. Everyone seemed to notice the silence that filled the air as a reply simply did not emit itself from Frank's apparently sealed lips.

Worry lining her features, Jamia placed a hand on Frank's back and he instantly jolted to life.

"Huh? Sorry what?" he asked, turning to look at everyone and suddenly realising that every one was staring at him expectantly.

That was when Gerard felt one pair of eyes on him and he turned to find that Mikey was watching him closely as though trying to mentally ask him what he and Frank had done now.

"Are you ready to go babe?" Jamia asked again, this time her voice was far gentler.

"Y-yeah, if you are ... I've got that show - got to get ready," Frank explained as he rubbed a hand through his hair and licked his dry lips.

With those words, Frank barely glanced at Gerard again as Jamia just watched him stand rather numbly. Frank and Jamia said their goodbyes and as neither Mikey nor Gerard made any effort to move, Lindsey and Alicia felt that they at least should walk the couple to the door.

"Something's up with Frank," Mikey stated rather simply when Gerard and him were finally alone.

"I noticed," was all Gerard trusted himself to say as he continued to stare at the chair Frank had been sitting in.

"You guys seriously need to talk Gee."

The words were a simple statement and Gerard wasn't about to argue. He knew Mikey was right. There was something seriously a miss here, things needed to be clarified, things finally needed to be discussed; this couldn't go on for much longer.

But how was Gerard supposed to get Frank alone? It seemed almost impossible now. How was he going to even begin a conversation with him?

Apparently noticing that Gerard was lost in his own head, Mikey gave him a sad sort of smile and got up from the table. He wasn't alone, he knew that Mikey, Alicia and Lindsey were all in the other room, but he didn't really feel like joining them, not right away.

He needed to talk to Frank; he needed to see him alone without the prying eyes of his friends and family. Most importantly, he needed to do it soon. Only problem was, he had no fucking idea how he was going to get everyone to leave him alone long enough for him to tell Frank once and for all what he should have said years ago.

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AN: Sorry it took so long. In all honesty, I had no idea where this story was going before. Now I do. There is purpose and direction now and FERARD in the next chapter again - finally. So yeah, hopefully updates will be quicker now xo xo