There's a figure in the dark, it had his eyes, it knows his lyrics. Why is the blonde so afraid? What's happening to him?
WARNINGS: Swearing, insanity, angst - hmmmm, that's it. He he.
Chapter Seventeen - I'll meet your eyes. I mean this forever…
Gerard yawned loudly as the T.V flickered light around the dark house. The volume was turned as low as it could go so as not to wake up Mikey and Alicia who were sleeping just in the room up the hall.
Truth was that he was exhausted. Naturally though, he couldn't get to sleep. He almost laughed out loud at that. The one time he actually wanted to sleep and he just couldn't do it. It was typical, fucking typical.
"So ... why can't you sleep?"
Gerard gasped at the voice and spun around in Mikey's lounge to seek out who had spoken. The lounge room was open and joined with the kitchen, so he had a clear view of the familiar figure sitting on the bench top with his legs swinging off the edge.
For some reason, Gerard didn't even flinch; he didn't even bat an eye lid at his mirror-imaged self. What was worse, he wasn't even sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing that he was getting so used to his presence.
"I'm not tired."
"Liar! You're exhausted. So why can't you sleep?"
Gerard sighed and shoved a fist into his tired eyes. He didn't bother answering; he didn't feel like explaining himself to anyone just at that moment. The blonde didn't push the question, he just continued to swing his legs back and forth, tapping a gentle beat with his heals onto the side of the bench.
It was then that Gerard remembered the last time he had seen his other self and with that memory in mind, he sat up in his seat and examined the distracted blonde a little closer.
His face was still bruised and battered but most of the swelling that was there last time had gone down. His lip was still split and one of his eyes was still horribly puffy, bloodshot and bruised, but for the most part he looked a hell of a lot better then he did on the golf course.
"What are you looking at?" the other Gerard asked, stopping his swinging legs and looking at the real Gerard curiously.
"Your face ... You look terrible."
"Fuck you! You don't look so crash hot yourself you know!"
"That's not what I meant. You going to tell me what really happened now?"
"You going to tell me why you can't sleep?"
Stale mate. Again. He was too tired to play these games. He just moaned in frustration as the blonde smiled in satisfaction, clearly pleased he was getting on Gerard's nerves.
"I can't sleep because I'm thinking about Frank. I'm confused. You happy now?"
The other Gerard continued smiling as he gracefully jumped off the kitchen bench, dusting himself off as though he had just been sitting somewhere dirty.
"Not really. You should know by now that I'm not really happy unless you are."
The blonde moved into the lounge room, the flickering TV lighting up his beaten and battered face every so often. When he stopped in front of the lounge, eyebrows raised, Gerard looked on at him in confusion, heart starting to beat louder in his chest at the anticipation of what he was going to do.
"W-what? Please ... don't do anything. I'm not in the mood," he pleaded, rubbing a hand through his hair.
"Get over yourself Gerard, not everything’s about you. Now move your feet I want to sit down."
Gerard starred at the blonde in confusion until he suddenly realised that he was serious, he actually did only want to sit down. He tucked his outstretched legs closer to him and the other Gerard quickly sat down, cross-legged, next to him.
"It's comfy," he exclaimed as he bounced around a little bit before seemingly getting comfortable. "What are you looking at?"
Gerard hadn't realised he was still staring, but he just couldn't take his eyes off his other self. It was bizarre knowing that he wasn't really hurt and yet there was his own face, inches in front of him, completely damaged.
"Well, I do believe I answered your question. So are you going to answer mine now?"
The blonde snuggled the back of his head into the lounge as though it was possibly the most comfortable thing he had ever sat in. At Gerard’s words, he frowned slightly and cocked his head to the side to look at him better.
"I already answered your question the last time I saw you."
"No you didn't! I asked who hurt you and you said it was me -"
"Exactly ... see, I did answer."
"No, you didn't. I want to know how I did it. I want to know why I did it ... if in fact I did really do it."
Gerard was still extremely confused about the whole ordeal. How could he have hurt the other Gerard? He wasn't even real. Yet, until now, he could remember everything that had happened in his dreams; everything seemed to make some sort of twisted sense, except this.
The blonde's face seemed to fall into shadow, or perhaps it was just Gerard’s imagination, but for a fleeting moment, Gerard felt nothing but pity for his twin.
"Perhaps it's really not such a good idea for you to start drinking again," the blonde explained, his face seemingly still in shadow.
Sitting there watching his own concealed face in front of him was like watching the ‘Famous Last Words’ video clip. He almost expected to look around him and see a burning float or a desert.
"What's that supposed to mean? It was one night! I don't even know why I went into that stupid bar; it's not going to happen again."
The other Gerard opened his mouth to say something, but his eyes drifted away from the real Gerard to glance over his shoulder. His face blanched and drained of colour and Gerard, heart hammering in his chest, slowly, cautiously turned his head to glance over his own shoulder to what the blonde was looking at.
And, there it was again. That same faint figure that he had seen in his last dream, that he had seen on the pirate ship. But they were dressed so darkly that they simply blended into the shadows, the only thing noticeable was their pure white skin.
Their head was bowed; dark hair falling all about their face, but Gerard could just make out a smirk, one that brought a sickly feeling to the pit of his stomach.
"W-who is it?" he finally asked, finding his voice at last. Neither of them took their eyes of the man in the shadows.
"Gerard ... I'm scared."
Now Gerard had no choice. He was shocked, he was stunned. He turned his eyes away from the man in the shadows to look at the blonde that was now sitting closer to him on the lounge. There was barely any room between them and if Gerard didn't know better, he could of sworn that the blonde was trembling, or was that him? He couldn't be sure.
How can he be scared? I'm scared! He's supposed to be my better half; he's supposed to be the strong one!
It was too much for Gerard, the fear in the blonde’s eyes only made that sickly feeling in his gut increase and he had to look away. Remembering the figure in the dark, he spun back around to make sure he hadn't moved.
There was the hint of a whisper that filled the air all around them, an echo, a sound, a voice, yet there had been some sort of melody to it.
A song! The words in the air were from a song, he knew that tune, he knew that song. But he was now more distracted by what he saw in the shadow.
The figure was looking directly at him, smirk painted on pale face, eyes surrounded in darkness. Then he shifted and the eyes came back into view. Wide, familiar, yet something about them made Gerard suck in his breath in fright until the whisper of a melody was back and the figure vanished.
Silence filled the area around them as the light from the TV flickered around the room again. Gerard had been so entranced by the figure that he had forgotten all about it. Then he suddenly noticed something else that he hadn't before, there were arms wrapped around his middle, a head buried into his chest.
Gerard looked down at the figure gripping onto him; he was shocked to find that it was the blonde. So strong, so tough, so controlling and now just a mass of crippling nerves and fear.
"Stop ... please ... stop," he begged.
"What? Stop what?" Gerard asked, now realising that he was hugging the blonde back, their rapid heartbeats becoming one.
The figure in the dark itself had unsettled him, but it never really scared him. Yet, now that he saw the blonde so weak and pathetic, muttering incoherently, Gerard was filled with fear. Why was he so scared? What was wrong?
"J-just stop ... stop talking ... stop singing ... please, stop the voice."
"W-what the hell are you talking about?" Gerard questioned, shaking the blonde slightly, trying to get him to look at him, remove that blank, distant look from his face anything to make him normal again. "What did the voice say? I couldn't understand, I couldn't hear it."
The blonde let go of Gerard, he wished he hadn't. He suddenly felt numb, he suddenly felt cold. He trembled at the missing touch even though he knew it probably hadn't even been real, it just felt like he wasn't whole, as though he was suddenly empty.
The other Gerard just stared at him, looking from eye to eye. Gerard held his breath, waiting for him to speak.
"What did he say? The guy in the shadows? What did you hear?"
The blonde looked over Gerard's shoulder again but it was clear he wasn't really looking at anything, his expression was blank, he was unreadable. When he finally looked back at Gerard, his expression was still empty.
"Forever and ever. Know how much I want to show you you're the only one. Like a bed of roses there's a dozen roses in this gun. And as we're falling down and in this pool of blood. And as we we're touching hands I'll see your eyes. I'll meet your eyes. I mean this forever ..."
Gerard realised he wasn't breathing. All he could hear was his heart hammering in his chest. The blondes hand grabbed his own; his eyes stared into Gerard's almost pleading. The same eyes as the shadows, the same eyes he saw every day in the mirror.
"B-but, those are my lyrics ..." he stuttered, unsure of whether he had actually started breathing again.
Suddenly the blonde Gerard's face contorted in pain and he clasped at his ears and let out a blood curdling scream.
"Shut up! Make him stop ... make him stop!"
"What? Where? I can't hear anything!" Gerard shouted, trying to be soothing, trying to help, but he was helpless. He couldn't hear a thing.
"Help me!" the blonde cried and then he reached out his hands and grabbed hold of Gerard.
Then, he heard it. Just a whisper at first, then it got louder and louder until Gerard was screaming, his own hands clasped at his ears as lyrics to his own songs were screamed into his ears, assaulting his brain, assaulting his body.
"MAKE IT STOP! HELP ME!"
He wasn't aware of anything, he couldn't see, he couldn't hear anything but the lyrics and his own screaming.
Then, he was falling, only for a second, then he hit something solid and his whole body went rigid and stiff as he lost control and felt it shaking around violently. The screaming was still in his ears, the lyrics, the noise and then hands ... suddenly he was grabbed by two strong hands and the noise stopped and all he could hear was a terrified voice...
"GERARD! STOP IT! LOOK AT ME! GERARD! GERARD I'M HERE!"
The flickering TV light was back, the other voices had stopped, there was nothing now but the panicked voice of his brother Mikey.
Mikey was holding him tightly and Gerard realised he had fallen off the lounge chair and was now lying on the floor. His head pounded even though there was a pillow behind it and he was shivering from the sweat that drenched every inch of his skin.
"Gerard ... look at me. Come on bro, look at me! Focus ... please, just calm down."
Gerard gazed into Mikey's wide eyes in confusion. Now that the noise had stopped, he was unsure if it had ever really happened at all. Had he really been screaming? What the hell just happened?
"Mikey? W-what happened?"
"Oh fuck Gee ... don't ever do that to me again!" Mikey breathed out as relief fluttered across his face and he pulled Gerard in closer to his body.
Gerard didn't say anything else; he just held his brother close, mind racing. He still had no idea what had just happened to him.
As Gerard just lay there, holding Mikey tightly, Alicia’s voice distant in the background as she was clearly on the phone with someone, all that went through his exhausted mind was the lyrics ... his lyrics -
Forever and ever. Know how much I want to show you you're the only one. Like a bed of roses there's a dozen roses in this gun. And as we're falling down and in this pool of blood. And as we we're touching hand's I'll see your eyes. I'll meet your eyes. I mean this forever...
AN: Sooooooooo sorry it took so long. But I'm back now see. And I have one story down and two to go, yet I'm already starting another he he he. I'm sorry I can't stop. I ran out of ideas for this story mainly because it got too crazy. So give me time to think over it and then there will be more he he. xx