FicWad

I'm sorry if I upset you guys! I love making things dramatic/epic/plot twisting. I also like making things sad and tragic ((trying to avoid it this time)). It's just how I write >< Would you love me if I was any other way? xD

Well here you are. It's really dragged out but epic at the end. Hope you like it.

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Frank knew what Gerard felt like all those times Frank was in the hospital. He sat in a white room with four or five chairs at most; no windows, no television, no nothing. This was the waiting room for surgery. That's where Gerard was. In surgery. It was the only way he would survive; if he survived the surgery itself. Frank couldn't think or focus at all. He just stared blankly at the white floor, wishing he had listened to Dahlia's warning. 'If he goes out, he might not return'.

Gerard had been shot by someone Frank had recognized from school. Ironically, it was the younger brother of the kid who tried to kill Frank all those years ago. He had no idea what that family had against the two but he was more worried about Gerard. After calling an ambulance, a neighbor pinned the shooter to the ground until the cops came, because Frank was so horrified that all he could do was stare at Gerard's bloody body. There was red blood everywhere on the grass where his body was. It was pouring heavily from his chest then streaming slightly from his mouth.

When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics quickly grabbed the limp body and stuck it on a stretcher before heading quickly for the hospital; Frank in the back with Gerard, still lost in a daze. He was told the bullet missed Gerard's heart by a fraction of an inch, but things still didn't look good. Gerard was losing too much blood and the hospital was still a good distance away. Frank refused to give up though.

He rested his head on Gerard's bloody chest, replacing the sound of Gerard's really faint heartbeat with the strong one he would fall asleep to. "Sir? Sir, you need to sit up." The paramedic told Frank but Frank made no effort what so all to move. "You're not helping by putting more pressure on his chest." The paramedic became snappy with Frank so Frank sat up and punched him right in the face.

"FUCK OFF!" Frank screamed at him and the driver swerved a little as he made sure his partner was ok. Frank only gave the paramedic a bloody nose while he resumed his position close to Gerard. "This is why I didn't want you to leave the house." He whispered, taking Gerard's hand into his and stroking Gerard's pale face.

When they arrived at the hospital, he was in the emergency room for no more than a minute when they quickly rushed him off to surgery. Frank was told to wait in the small white room until they were done; or Gerard died; whichever happened first. Before going to the small white room though, Frank went to the bathroom where he washed the blood from his face, his tears wetting the dried mess rather than having to use water. After, a doctor gave Frank a shirt to wear, it came from the gift shop, so he wouldn't have to sit in the bloody cloth. Frank held his bloody shirt tightly though as he waited; it was the closest he could be to Gerard at the moment.

Frank hadn't told anyone yet. He looked at the small circle clock in the hall and saw that it was 4. Gerard had been in surgery for two hours now. While he wanted an answer as to the condition of his fiancé, he was semi relieved because it had been two hours, and no one came to tell him that Gerard was dead. Frank expected his phone to go off soon with Ray, Mikey, or Bob calling to ask where he and Gerard were. Then he would tell them. Only when they called. He couldn't bring himself to call them.

The small white room was incredibly boring. It was probably the first time in forever that Frank managed to sit perfectly still and quiet for a long period of time. He couldn't really move if he wanted to. His body refused to do anything other than keep his ass planted firmly in the chair, his red-stained hands griping tightly to his original shirt.

Frank looked at the clock again. It was now five. He sighed, sliding down in the chair a little. When he heard the large metal doors open though, he instantly sat up as a man in green scrubs came into the small white room. He had a puffy blue hat on his head and matching blue mask hanging around his neck. Frank figured it was the man who did Gerard's surgery. "Mr. Iero?" He asked Frank quietly and Frank apprehensively nodded. The man shut the door and Frank's heart fell to his stomach as the man walked to him, pulling a chair up next to Frank and taking a deep breath.

"We got the bullet out." He said with a smile. "It was very risky though because it was close to his heart." Again Frank nodded. "He's alive." Relief pumped through Frank as he felt like he was going to cry. "But he's in seriously critical condition." The joy Frank felt went away. "He's in recovery right now. You may see him in a few moments, after everything gets set up."

"Thank you." Frank whispered. "For saving him."

"Don't thank me so fast." He said coldly. "We're not out of the woods quite yet." Frank nodded slightly while he surgeon stood up and put his chair back then opened the door and went back behind the large metal doors. Frank felt some ease as he knew that, at least at the moment, Gerard was still alive. Then he realized that Dahlia had told him 'might not return' which meant that he still could and that made Frank feel better.

After about five minutes, Frank's phone started going off. Looking at the screen, he saw it was Ray and knew they were wondering where they were. "Hello..." He said miserably.

"Frank? Are you ok?" Ray asked quietly. "I tried Gerard and he's not picking up; You didn't pick up your home phone either."

"We're not at home." Frank told him, almost whispering.

"Where are you?" He was worried and Frank knew he wouldn't be happy to hear the answer.

"Hospital." Frank mumbled.

"What?" Ray's voice grew. "What happened?!" Frank heard distressed voices in the background.

"Gerard..." He said, holding back tears, "shot..."

"What?!" Ray practically screamed into the phone. "Why didn't you call?!" He was really upset.

"I couldn't..."

"What do you mean you couldn't?" Ray was mad. "Did you suddenly forget how to use a phone?"

"Fuck you Ray." Frank said just as harshly. "I haven't been able to fucking think of anything. I punched the fucking paramedic for talking to me!" He was close to just hanging up.

"Look, I didn't mean to get upset Frank." Ray became calmer. "Is he ok?" He asked quietly with fear.

"He's in critical condition. Surgery took like 3 hours. They said the bullet just missed his heart by a fraction of an inch."

"Are you ok?" He asked Frank. "Did you get hurt?"

"Nothing physical." Frank told him quietly again. "He's in recovery. They said I could see him after they get everything set up." He began to cry. "I'm scared."

"Do you want me to come sit with you? Or Bob or Mikey?" He was concerned about Frank as well.

"You." Frank said. He had nothing against Bob or Mikey, it was just Ray dealt with these situations better. He knew how to make Frank feel better, just like he had when Frank left Gerard's to stay with Ray. "Just you please." He whispered.

"I'll be there in no more than ten minutes." Ray said before he hung up and Frank went back to staring at the white walls. It was like they were closing in on him and he was starting to freak out. Frank thought about Gerard's voice; how he would hear it in a few days or so when Gerard woke up. He thought about the steady beating of Gerard's heart that always calmed him down.

"Hey." Frank opened his eyes and lifted his head to see Ray standing there. He smiled at Frank then walked over to a chair next to Frank, sitting down and putting his arms around Frank to hug him. "How you holding up?"

"I'm not." Frank started crying into Ray's shoulder. Ray rubbed his back and told him to try and calm down before he made himself sick. "I'm so fucking scared."

"If I know anything about Gerard, it's that he isn't going to give up without a fight." Just like when Gerard talked to him, Ray's voice was comforting to Frank and he focused on it rather than trying to pull up memories because it was there with him at that very moment.

"I tried to warn him." Frank whispered and Ray pulled away to look into Frank's eyes.

"Warn him about what?" He asked with concern, looking into Frank's fearful eyes with comfort as well as concern. "Why did you get upset earlier about him leaving the house?"

"I had this dream;" Frank knew he could tell Ray. "My angel, Dahlia, came to me. She was the one who I talked to when I was in my most recent coma." Ray nodded even though Frank could tell he was slightly confused. "She told me that no matter what, make sure Gerard stayed inside. Dahlia said, 'if he leaves, he might not return'." Ray rubbed Frank's arm to keep him calm because he was on the verge of freaking out again. "It made me really scared; even though I didn't know if it was real or not."

"He said you woke up sweaty and then threw up some." Frank looked at Ray with confusion. "Gerard woke up while you had that dream but didn't want you to know he was awake." He smiled at Frank but Frank just stared at him.

"All he did was go out to get something from his car. I figured that would be fine." He started crying again. "He told me that he loved me and would be back in five seconds. I stared counting just to give myself something to do. I was about to reach five when I heard the gunshot."

"He's still alive." Ray tried to calm Frank down again. "You still have him."

"But how long will he be alive?" Frank continued to cry. He even started choking as he fought off the urge to puke. "His heart could suddenly stop or something could suddenly go wrong and take him from me."

"That can happen any day." It was true even though Frank didn't want to believe it. "Just like he will always worry and freak out not knowing when your last day will be." Ray continued to rub Frank's back, speaking softly and quietly. "That's life. We don't ever know what will happen in a day. We just live it out and deal with whatever gets thrown at us."

"I'm starting to think we're not supposed to be together." He told Ray painfully. "Nothing seems to go right for long. First I get attacked; then he becomes distant; we fight; we break up; I suddenly get sick and find out I have AIDS; Bert; and now he gets shot." Frank couldn't fight it no more. Running to a trash can in the corner, he threw up.

"Frank, you need to calm down. You're making yourself sick." Ray went to Frank and bent down, pulling his hair from his face. "I've never seen anyone more perfect for each other than you and Gerard." Frank pulled his head from the trash and leaned against the wall. "No one said it would be easy."

"But why does it have to be so hard." Frank pulled his engagement ring off his finger and carefully examined it.

"Get that back on your finger before you lose it." Ray told him sternly. "You better not be thinking about reconsidering either."

"What if I was?" He hated Ray for being right about practically everything. "What if we don't belong together?" Frank set the ring on the floor. "He deserves someone better."

Ray picked the ring up, grabbed Frank's hand, and stuck it back on his finger. "Leaving him will kill him." Ray looked directly into Frank's eyes. "Don't you remember how you felt in the hospital when you wouldn't take medication, thinking Gerard left you?" Frank nodded slightly. He almost killed himself. Of course he didn't forget that. "Leaving Gerard will do that to him."

"I don't want to hurt him though." Frank shut his eyes when Ray grabbed his arm and stood up, pulling Frank up too.

"Then sit your ass in a chair, wait until you can see him, and don't you dare think about leaving him." He put Frank in a chair then sat by him again. "Neither of you can live without the other. I don't understand why everyone else can see that yet you two seem to miss it."

A nurse suddenly appeared in the room. "Mr. Iero?" She asked and Frank nodded just like he had the surgeon. "You may go see Mr. Way now if you like." Frank nodded again, standing up while she walked away.

"Will you come with me?" He asked Ray. "I can't do it by myself." Ray stood up and walked with Frank down the hall, past many rooms with more machines than Frank could ever imagine. Gerard's was on the far end in a corner. It was one of the more advanced rooms where they had every kind of machine for practically anything that could go wrong. Frank reached for the handle of the door then turned around, eyes squeezed shut. "I can't do it." He whispered.

"Yes you can." Ray told him and Frank shook his head. Ray sighed then opened the door, pushing Frank inside then pulling the door shut again. "I'll be in the waiting room. I'm telling Mikey and Bob to come since they already freaked out about not being here right now." He said through the door before walking away.

Frank stood, frozen in his spot, staring at a curtain. He didn't want to move the curtain because he was afraid to see Gerard. He knew the pale man would be hooked up to a good amount of machines and would look barely like himself at all. Frank was tempted to turn and run, but he knew Ray would only shove him back in. Taking a deep breath, Frank pushed the curtain back and began to cry, his thoughts confirmed.

Gerard's body was barely visible underneath all the tubes and wires coming from his skin and going to random machinery all around the room. Frank felt the urge to puke yet again but he just continued to take deep breaths, walking slowly towards Gerard's bed. Gerard was paler than normal and Frank ran his hand across Gerard's head, chills running up his arm from how cold Gerard's skin was. A mask rested on Gerard's mouth, basically breathing for him. His eyes were shut and he looked peaceful, angelic almost as he laid on the white bed which he somewhat blended into. If it wasn't for his jet black hair, Frank probably wouldn't have noticed him at all.

There was a chair in the corner which Frank pulled to the edge of the bed and sat next to Gerard. He still was taking deep breaths to keep himself calm as he took Gerard's hand, crying harder from how cold that was. Gerard's hands had always been a safety rope for Frank. He knew as long as he had Gerard's hand tightly in his, nothing bad would ever happen. But that was when Gerard's hands were warm and he would hold onto Frank. Now his hands were cold and Frank was holding onto him.

"Don't leave me baby." Frank whispered, stroking Gerard's icy face. "We still have to get married." He tried to smile but his lips refused to cooperate. "I don't wear this perfect ring for nothing you know." Of course Gerard remained still and silent. Frank looked to his heart monitor, cringing to see it was barely showing signs of life. Each beat was slow and far separated from the last. "The doctor said the bullet just missed your heart." Frank was trying to think of anything he could say to keep his mind off Gerard dying. "Don't go for the warm light. I learned that last time."

There was a soft knock on the door and a moment later Bob and Mikey walked in. Mikey instantly burst into tears when he saw Gerard, turning to Bob and burying his face in Bob's chest as he cried. "Oh my god..." Mikey said as he cried. Bob wrapped his arms tightly around Mikey, pressing his head to Mikey's, rubbing his back and trying to comfort him. Frank began crying more as he watched Mikey get upset.

"I have to go." Frank said, standing and letting go of Gerard's hand, pushing past Mikey and Bob.

"Frankie! Wait man w-" Bob called after Frank but he shut the door and half ran down the hall in tears, running into the waiting room where Ray was sitting.

"Frank; are you ok?" Ray asked him and Frank shook his head frantically, sitting in the corner and pulling his knees to his chest, burying his face in them. Ray quickly got off the chair and bent down next to Frank who was crying hysterically. "Frank..." He spoke softly but Frank remained in a half fetal position. Ray put a hand on Frank's back but Frank jerked away from him. "Frank, it's ok. It's me, Ray."

"Leave me alone" Frank said into his knees. He had completely lost it. "Leave me alone to die."

"You're not going to die." Ray told him but Frank nodded.

"I'll die without him." Frank clung tightly to his legs and Ray tried again but Frank just jerked away like he had before. "He's barely fucking alive!" He yelled into his legs.

"Frank, stop it." Ray told him. "I'll be right back." He stood and left. When he was gone, Frank reached into his pocket and pulled out the scalpel he had taken when they were in the emergency room. He slowly dragged it across his arm, starting at his wrist and going all the way to his elbow, slicing his whole forearm open. He then turned his arm over and repeated the same thing on the other side, until he sat in a pool of blood, his arm going numb. Frank leaned his head against the wall, smiling and laughing very slightly.

"I'm going to hell anyway." He said with a small smile. Lifting his mostly numb, bleeding arm, he ran the scalpel across his other arm, repeating the process. It wasn't long until there was blood everywhere, Frank becoming dizzy as he laughed ever so slightly to himself. He began to shake as he pressed the scalpel to his legs next, Ray returning with Bob and a very distraught Mikey.

"What the fuck?!" Ray yelled when he saw all the blood. "Bob, go get help!" Ray told him as he ran to Frank, slamming him against the wall. "Mikey! Take it from him!" Mikey who was unsure of what was going on, went to the corner and pried the tool easily from Frank's shaking, numb, hands. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yelled at Frank who continued to laugh as he lost blood rapidly.

Bob returned with a nurse who screamed for more help, a whole flock of medical staff running into the room. They picked Frank up from the floor and stuck him on a bed then rushed him the emergency room where they tried to stop the bleeding but Frank fought to the best of his abilities. They ended up knocking him out so they could work.

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Frank opened his eyes and sighed heavily as he realized he was in the hospital; yet again. He turned his head to the side and saw Ray sitting in a chair, his hands folded and resting in front of his mouth as he rested his elbows on his knees; his eyes focused firmly on the floor. "Ray?" Frank mumbled and Ray looked up, concern and anger in his eyes. He got up and walked to Frank's bed, Frank wishing he kept his mouth shut.

"I'm going to fucking kill you." Ray told him sharply. Frank sighed and shut his eyes. "Ignore me all you want Frank." Frank nodded but Ray continued to talk. "You're just as much an asshole as Gerard was for not telling you he killed the person that attacked you on your prom night."

Frank's eyes shot open as he stared at Ray with shock. "W-what?"

"You remember how you saw him on the beach and said something to Gerard?" Ray had this sadistic look on his face that scared Frank. "Well when you were sleeping, he went back to the beach, cornered the guy in the bathroom, stabbed him a few times then drove the knife into his chest." Frank was at a loss for words as he stared at Ray in horror. "That's why he became so distant to you. It was driving him crazy that he killed someone but he didn't want to tell you because he didn't want to upset you." Frank wanted Ray to go away because the look in Ray's eyes was making Frank really worried. "And we all know how that turned out."

Frank tried to move his arms but he couldn't. He couldn't really move at all. "Try all you want Frankie, but you're strapped down."

"W-what?" He repeated.

"The hospital staff is fucking tired of you trying to commit suicide." Frank didn't even know what Ray was talking about.

"What'd I do?" He asked nervously. All he remembered was seeing Mikey freak out about seeing Gerard.

"You carved yourself like a pumpkin dumbass." Ray said sharply.

"I did?"

"Don't act so innocent. It gets old after awhile." Frank started crying. Ray had always been so kind and gentle with him, but now he felt like Ray hated him forever. "Did you think about how anyone else might feel?"

"I had no idea I was even doing it!" He said through tears. "All I remember was seeing Mikey freak out about seeing Gerard!"

"Let me fill you in then." Ray's tone was making Frank really scared. He thought Ray actually would kill him. "I sat and waited while Mikey and Bob went to join you. Few moments later you come into the room, crying hysterically, and sit in the corner, balled up. I try to see what's wrong, you freak out and tell me to leave you alone. Worried, I went to find Mikey and Bob to see if they knew what was wrong. Bob said you suddenly left the room when Mikey started crying. We all headed back to you so we could talk to find you a bloody fucking mess in the corner, slicing yourself open with a scalpel. I had to pin you to the wall while Mikey took it from you, watching blood come from two huge gashes on both your arms, as well as where you stared on your legs." Frank cried as Ray talked to him. He wished he was anywhere but there. He wished Gerard was there to hold him and tell him everything would be ok.

"We quickly got help and the nurses rushed you to the ER to stop the bleeding. You started fighting with them, taking out a nurse with unbelievable strength, giving a doctor a black eyes, and breaking the metal safety bar off the hospital bed which none of us could figure out how the hell you did that." Frank was shaking with fear. He had no idea what came over him. "It took like five people to hold you down while you were administered anesthetic. When you were finally passed out, they cleaned your wounds, tied you back together, and strapped you down before bringing you here."

"I-I did all that?" He asked with horror.

"Yeah, you did." Ray told him coldly. "They want to take you to a mental facility too." He gave Frank a sarcastic smile. "But I told them it was because you were really upset about Gerard and they told me that they would watch you carefully."

"But I'm dangerous." Frank said through his tears. "Why didn't you let them take me and lock me up where I can't hurt anyone?"

"Why?" Ray's eyes narrowed slightly. "I'll tell you why." Frank prepared himself for the worst but was completely shocked at what came out of Ray's mouth. "I fucking love you Frank Iero; that's why." Before Frank could respond, Ray turned and left, shutting the door rather harshly behind him.


A/N---PLEASE DON'T HATE ME! -hides-

It's just as someone mentioned, the more I re-read the story, the more I realized the way I portrayed Ray was that he loved Frank too. Oh, the drama.

Things will get better next chapter. I can't bring myself to kill anyone off so Gerard lives. For now.

Thanks to everyone who reads this! I don't know what's wrong with you because I suck at writing but, thanks! x3

I love reviews. So, LEMME A COMMENT >l

xoxoxo Tabi