Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto > Bump on the Head

Bump on the Old Noggin

by Park 1 review

When Naruto retreives Sasuke, he hits head. In the Konoha hospital, he conjures up some delusion that he isn't Sasuke Uchiha, and that he's married to Hinata Hyuuga! -FINISHED-

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Characters: Hinata,Sasuke - Warnings: [!] [X] - Published: 2008-11-25 - Updated: 2008-11-26 - 1861 words - Complete

I don’t own Naruto.

Bump on the Head

“Kami, that’s one nasty cut. Just how hard did Naruto hit him?” One medic asked another. Sasuke lay on a Konoha hospital bed, cross-eyed, completely disoriented. Every now and then he mumbled. Another medic frowned.

“I did all I could. That gash really messed him us.” He said. “All we can do now is keep him in the hospital for as long as possible.” The other three medics nodded.

Sasuke blinked and looked at them dazedly. What were they talking about? Gash? What gash?

“Let’s strap him down. I don’t want to deal with him when he comes around.”

“I don’t want to be around when Tsunade-sama comes around!”


Sunday 4:56 AM, Konoha’s Hospital

Sasuke blinked and opened his eyes wide. His head hurt like hell and his mouth was dry. He needed some water. He attempted to roll over and grunted in pain. His chest hurt too. When his eyes finally made their way down and managed to stay in focus, there were massive leather straps tying him to the bed. What the fuck? How did that happen?

He smiled. Silly wife. Where was she, anyway? He swiveled his head, but the room blurred and spun. He squinted hard and struggled to focus. It wasn’t working. Pursing his lips, he opened his mouth to call for her, but a weird sound came out. That wasn’t his voice, was it?

In seconds, the door flew open and crushed the wall. Sasuke’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. A tall blonde with big boobs stepped into the room, looking bloody thirsty. Sasuke squirmed helplessly. Where was his wife!?

“Sasuke Uchiha!” the woman snarled viciously, frothing at the mouth. Sasuke whimpered. Who the hell was she talking about? Who was an Uchiha? Didn’t that freaky-psycho-guy kill them all? He looked around the room. Who was this lady talking to? Had she escaped the mental ward?

“Who?” Sasuke croaked. The woman growled ferociously. When the hell had he developed a since of humor. Goddamned smartass!

“Don’t get smart with me!” Tsunade barked. Sasuke frowned. This woman was mistaken; there was no Sasuke Uchiha here. He shook his head.

“No, no! I’m not getting smart with you, miss. You must have mistaken me for someone else.” Tsunade blinked. Huh? Just how hard had he hit his head?

“Then who are you?” She asked, playing along with him.

“I don’t have a name, miss.” He told her politely. Tsunade frowned. No name? She grabbed a chair from the corner of the room and pulled it to Sasuke’s bedside.


Friday 12:01 AM, Hinata Hyuuga’s Residence

Hinata sighed, stumbling to her bed. What a busy day. Everything had gone wrong since she’d woken up that morning. With a soft ‘poof’, she landed on her bed. Relaxing, she shut her eyes and sprawled out on the cool sheets. Oh well, right? She was home now.

Her doorbell tolled. Hinata moaned and shoved her head into the pillows of her bed. Probably some stupid homeless person. The bell tolled again and again, more frantic until they started to beat the door down. With an angry huff, she stood up and stormed to the door. She threw it open and glared. A wave of heat flooded her face.

A medic nin stood there, looking annoyed. But before she could manage an apology, he spat out his message.

“Miss Hinata?” he asked and she nodded. “We need you at the hospital right now, there’s an emergency.” The blood drained from her face as quick as it had risen. Oh no. “Come with me.” the medic said, and Hinata followed.

Was it Naruto? Neji? Shino or Kiba? Maybe Hanabi? She felt sick with worry. They rushed through the hospital doors in a matter of minutes, and he led her to the third floor. The hokage stood outside a room, looking perplexed and uncertain. Oh, kami, no! This had to be serious! She smiled warily when she caught sight of Hinata.

“Sorry about the hour, Hyuuga-san, but I needed to talk to you immediately.” She said, looking a little apologetic when she examined the younger woman’s face. Her eyes were slightly bloodshot with bags hanging underneath.

“It’s ok.” She rushed, “What’s happened? Who’s hurt? Do you need me?” she was frantic.

“No, no. No one is hurt...” She frowned. Well, Sasuke was hurt, sorta, but no sense in scaring the hell out of her. Hinata’s face dropped. No one was hurt? Then why was it an emergency? Couldn’t it have waited till tomorrow, when she was nice and rested?

“Then….why did you summon me, Hokage-sama?” Hinata asked in confusion, doing her best to be patient and respectful.

“It’s… about Sasuke Uchiha…did you know he was back?” Tsunade began, a little awkward with the bizarre situation. How was she going to ask Hinata this?

“No…” Hinata mumbled, raising her eyebrows. Why were they talking about the rogue Uchiha? Was that why she summoned her? Maybe it was about Naruto. Panic flooded her. Had Naruto died? Tsunade quickly went on, mistaking her panic for fear. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea…she went on anyway. She had to try, at the very least.

“Well, yes, Naruto caught him a few days ago. They must’ve gotten into a nasty fight. Somewhere along the way, Sasuke hit his head, and he now suffers a minor head injury.” The panic drained again. Ok…

“He is currently suffering delusions.” Tsunade said. Hinata looked at her strangely. What did this all have to do with her? Might as well get a feel for the situation.

“What sort of delusions?” The young woman frowned. She could see him running around the hospital, thinking everyone was Itachi, chasing them with his Chidori and screaming. But he did that already, so what was the difference?

Tsunade grimaced. She’d hit the nail on the head. “Well…he doesn’t know his own name for one.” she began. She was going to save the best for last. “So he doesn’t know he’s an Uchiha. He has absolutely has no memory of his childhood or anything that has happened to him. In his mind, he was an orphan, and he believes he has a wife.”

“Hokage-sama, not to be rude, but what does this have to do with me?” Tsunade opened her mouth to respond, when there was a crash in the room they were in front of. Frustrated sounds and thumps on the wall made it obvious who was in there.

“Hinata, he thinks you are his wife.” Tsunade said abruptly and rushed into the room. Hinata stood frozen in horror. She couldn’t have heard her right. No, of course not. She stood frozen and didn’t dare go in the room. A few minutes later, Tsunade came out; looking ruffled, sweat on her forehead, hair slightly messy. Trying to wrestle the young man and not hurt him was harder than it looked.

“Lady Tsunade, is this some type of sick joke?” She asked. This wasn’t funny, not in the least.

“No.” She puffed and grabbed Hinata by the shoulders, shoving her into the room. She stood frozen, a few inches past the doorway. Sasuke had managed to knock everything in the room over, along with the hospital bed, which he was strapped to. His upper half had managed to free itself, and he braced himself on his arms, glaring with his Tsukiyo at an unfortunate medic Nin. The paper gown he’d been in was ripped to shreds, and red marks covered his pale, exposed skin from wrestling with the leather restraints.

As soon as he saw Hinata enter, his Sharingan receded and turned to black irises. He grinned from ear to ear.

“Hinata!” He cried. “Please, help me, their holding me against my will!”

Hinata’s face screwed up and she stumbled out of the room. Tsunade’s face had ‘I told you so’ written all over it.

“What do you want me to do about this?” Hinata yelped. She regretted it as soon as the words popped out of her mouth.

“Hinata, we can’t keep him in the hospital much longer. We have more injured ninja now than ever, and we don’t have room for delirious rogues! I would send him with Naruto or Sakura, but their both away on a mission, besides, I doubt Sasuke would stay unless they nailed him to a wall!”

“Oh no! Oh no! He is not coming to my apartment! He cannot live with me! I won’t allow it!” she cried.

“Please Hinata. If you force me, I’ll make it a mission. Please, at least until we can find somewhere else. Just play along with him!”

“But Hokage-sama!” Hinata’s eyes were pleading her not to do this. She had been disowned by her own family a few years back and she’d given up on being a ninja or medic. She was struggling to make a decent living, and it was hard enough to feed her own mouth, much less another’s. That was the last thing she needed, a delirious man living with her!

But the hokage’s own eyes were pleading as well. She needed help; she couldn’t do this without her. If Tsunade could have, she would have put the burden on someone else, maybe Kakashi or Gai, who could wrestle Sasuke down and tie him to the couch. But Kakashi and Gai were gone on a mission, too, and Sasuke had no other family other than his delusion’s one. So, therefore, his fantasy wife was the only option.

Oh Kami, this wasn’t fair! Why did Kami hate her? What did she do to deserve this? Was it for being so weak? For failing the clan? Weren’t her own problems punishment enough?

She hung her head in defeat and reentered the hospital room. Sasuke smiled at her excitedly, like a hyper puppy. It was so freakishly uncharacteristic. Hinata trudged to him cautiously, glancing at the medic Nin that was twitching on the ground nearby. Slowly, very slowly, she knelt down to Sasuke and undid the few restraints he hadn’t been able to reach.
He smiled and reached up, gently stroking her face with his warm, dry palm. Hinata was so tired and frustrated she didn’t even blush, but ignored him instead. He stood up, nothing but shredded tissue paper covering his groin.

“Thank you Hinata.” Tsunade said. “I’ll take all the safety precautions you’ll need. He goes home with tomorrow. I’ll bring him over.” She finished sternly so that Sasuke knew his place.

He scowled at the blonde hokage then leaned over and kissed Hinata’s cheek briefly. She just stood there, glaring at nothing. “See you tomorrow, beloved.” He said, fluttering his eyes at her. Hinata just nodded and made a grumbling sound. She needed the bed. Now.


Thanks for reading.
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