FicWad

Stuttering 115
I paced the floors thoroughly and thought about this long and hard. Its not like Patrick will ever find out. In the words of Gin, its not like he's got me lo-jacked or anything. Even if he did find out so what? I was going to move on sometime. Why would he care? I walked back upstairs and saw Gin doubled over.
"You're not contracting are you?! Because nothing short of you having those kids here will make me NOT go out on this date."
"No dude. Gas. Really. Bad. Gas bubble. Right here." Gin said as she laughed and then burped.
"That's attractive."
"Better out then in I always say."
"Ok, Shrek."
Gin had placed the twins in their crib in their room for bed time. This was something new I was trying. They at least have to fall asleep in their own crib before I put them in my bed. And at 645p this evening its just about bed time. I passed by their room and heard Sofia towards the end of a crying fit she does when she's sleepy. Roman was already sniffling and I heard him yawn.
"You've got this parenting thing down don't you Genevieve?" I said walking back into my room.
"No, no, nonono, no. I've got YOUR schedule down for YOUR kids. But my little hellions? Hell hath no fury like funny lookin' Joe's kids." Gin sighed.
"Funny looking?"
"Yea. Between Joe's 1973 porn mustache and my hair...which by the way is in desperate need of...everything. I don't think id be able...I think im gonna screw up my kids Cali."
"I thought that too remember-"
My phone started to go off and Rob was just leaving his hotel. I caught that twinge of nervousness you get right before a first date or when your kid runs into a wall and the doctor looks at you like you're abusing them. In the end both scenarios got me sick to my stomach.
"What happened?" Gin asked.
"He's almost here." I sighed.
"Where are you guys going?"
"Signature Room. Close to home...plenty places to run if he starts to scare me. Minimal paparazzi."
"Oh that's right. I forgot about them."
"Because you haven't left the house since you could see your toes."
"Yea, about then...something about flip flops..."
"Tard you wanted to go out- wait, no. We were in California...nevermind."
"We were..."
"Did you say warm?"
"I don't know."
"That kid has got you all sorts of drunk on endorphins and serotonin that I don't think you can feel anymore."
"Im numb dude."
"I bet. But only until you know...pushing. Then you'll be cursing Joe and his life"
"Im-"
"Calista?!" Joe yelled from downstairs.
"What?" I yelled back then looking at my phone all at the same time, "Lord, he's been here for 10 minutes."
"Who--- oh." Gin said with a smile, "I wanna see."
I threw my hands in the air and went downstairs. Joe was sitting on the couch playing Mario Kart (yea, he found MY Wii) just ignoring Rob who was siting there trying to look not awkward. He wasn't doing a good job. Joe isn't a rude person by nature so this kind of shocked me. I walked into the room and Rob stood up with a smile. He handed me a single red rose and Joe scoffed.
"Shut up Joseph!" I stated throwing yesterday's Sun-Times in his direction, "thank you Rob its beautiful."
"Nice friend you have. I see, he's very over-protective of you?" Rob enquired.
"If you even wanna say that. He's just a brat."
"Well, ready?"
"Yes I am."
"No Cali you cant leave yet im almost there!" Gin yelled.
"Oh that's right." I sighed.
"This child has been coming for 5 minutes."
"I can make her come in 3..." Joe trailed off.
This time I threw Roman's binky at him and rolled my eyes.
"What happened Genevieve?" I asked.
"I had to pee."
"If we don't leave soon we're gonna miss our reservations." Rob said with a smile.
"She's almost here. Just another 30 seconds."
Gin suddenly turned the corner and I exhaled. Because at this point I was ready to change into PJs and go lie down with my kids.
"Im Gin." Gin stated.
"Nice to meet you. Im Rob. And you're mighty pregnant." Rob responded.
"Im pregnant for a Jew. It was expected." Gin concluded.
"Damn straight." Joe added.
I then threw Sofi's blanket at him and he must have felt my glare. Because this boy tucked further down into the chair and continued to play with a pout.
"Im running out of things to throw at you Joe. The next thing will be the table." I concluded quietly.
"I saw you guys on Ellen you've gotten bigger since then." Rob said softly.
"I loved you as Cedric! And now Edward...im gushing. Cali, stop me!"
"Lets go Rob"
"I take it we're ready then?" Rob asked.
"Yes we are."
I ran upstairs kissed my babies one last time and came back downstairs feeling more horrible than before after seeing their faces. I hope this was a good idea. Plus, its one date. What's the worst that could happen?
~~~~@@@@@~~~~~
Patrick's phone suddenly started to go all sorts of crazy. When he picked it up off the floor he thought it was a glitch. Its been a long time since his phone went all sorts of spaztic. But with all the texts he threw the 3 dozen roses, chocolate & gifts in the passenger seat and quickly made his way to my house.
Enroute to my place Patrick got a text. For some reason it was all sorts of "911, Emergency, Urgent, Hurry The Fuck Up" type of shit. This scared the beajesus out of him and he was breaking speed limits and running red lights, he had to know what was happening. His phone went off again and it said "BM out of safety zone at John Handcock". What's Cal doing at The Handcock?
Patrick burst into the house 10 minutes after I'd left, out of breath and panicking.
"What? What is it? Where are the babies? Where's Calista? Is everyone ok?!" He demanded.
Joe simply stood in front of his friend with a grim look on his face, making the lump in Patrick's throat grow at an unbelievable rate.
"Whats going on?" he almost cried out.
Gin came walking into the hallway then and stopped mid sentence.
"Hey Jo- Patrick? What are you doing here? Are these for me you shouldn't have." She went to take the flowers and boxes from Patrick and he pulled them away.
"No. Not for you! And I don't know why I'm here? Joe texted me and called me and he said something was wron-"
"Ooo, you told Patrick? Cali's going to eat you!" Gin sang as she laughed and walked back to the kitchen.
"Joe what the hell is going on where's Calista? Are the babies ok?"
Joe looked at him like he was crazy and then laughed.
"No Paco the babies are ok. They're sleeping. But your wife..."
"Ex-wife." Patrick corrected with a sigh.
"Not the point, Follow the leader Paco." He said as he began to walk back and forth.
"Your baby mama, she's walking down a dark path." Joe stated darkly.
"Are you high Joe? Im really not in the mood for your Jedi mind-tricks right now. Just speak."
"Shes o-"
"Dont do it Joe!" Gin yelled from the bathroom, Joe simply rolled his eyes and yelled back.
"BROS BEFORE HOES Genevieve!"
"CALISTA'S GONNA CRUCIFY YOU... this will be fun." She said as she sat on he stairs in front of the two men. Patrick gave her a look and turned back to Joe who was rocking back and forth like a little kid when they knew a secret.
"SPILL IT." Patrick finally said clenching his teeth.
"CALI'SOUTONADATEWITHAGUY!" Joe yelled and then clamped his hands over his mouth.
If you could use instant replay in real life you could have gone back and seen the precise moment that Patrick's frail heart broke. In an instant he had aged ten years and he was finding it hard to breath. Gin being the evil heartless bitch she was laughed on the inside as she shoved more ice cream in her mouth and awaited for Patrick to snap.
"Sh-she what?"
"Shes out on a date. Right now. So we have to-" Joe stated as he walked over to the table to pick up his keys and walked to the door.
He had his hand on the knob when he turned back to see Patrick sliding down to the floor...the things in his hand scattering all over the ground.
Gin got up and went to walk past Joe.
"Way to go Jose. I think you've broken Paco." Gin sighed tapping Patrick on his back, where the batteries would go.
Joe scoffed and walked over to his best friend.
"Lets go Paco! We gotta go get Cali! I mean I called you here to help me get her back not to sulk. I could have done that alone." He stated a bit hysterical.
"No. No Joe, Ive- I think I should just let her be."
Joe glared at his friend.
"You know...sometimes Patrick you are such a disappointment." Joe said letting his hands go limp at his sides.
He then let out a sigh and glared.

@@@@
Gin and Cal say:enjoy!