Categories > Original > Drama > Beat of Their Own Drums
One More Sad Song
0 reviewsWhen he catches her cheating, he can't decide if he's angry or brokenhearted. One thing is for sure, though: Keefe O'Kane rarely forgives and never forgets. Song used: The All-American Rejects' "On...
0Unrated
A/N: Yay! Another Keefe O'Kane oneshot! This one, however, is set much earlier in his lifetime and he isn't paired with Casey (hasn't even met her yet) this time. This is sort of a peek into the relationship mentioned in "All These Things That I've Done."
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "One More Sad Song."
Song Used: The All-American Rejects' "One More Sad Song."
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Thirty-Seven: One More Sad Song
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
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One boy, one girl,
Two hearts, their world,
Time goes by,
Secrets rise...
“What's gonna happen if your brother walks in?”
I smiled laughingly into her soft dark hair, stifling the chuckle that threatened to slip past my lips. I really wouldn't have minded if Jesus Himself wandered into the room; it wasn't everyday when the two of us could get away with lazing about on the couch, my arms secured around her middle and her legs intertwined with mine. “My brother walks in,” I answered carelessly, “it's not like we're doing anything.”
She laughed a little and settled her shoulder blades a little deeper into my chest, nestling just a little closer. I could sense she was about to say something, but she was cut off by the sharp twitter of a cell phone. She sat up so quickly that I could still feel her heat tumbling after her on the fabric of the couch. I growled sharply in displeasure, but lay still and quiet while she spoke hurriedly with whoever it was on the other line.
Sounded like one of her friends. She hung up and told me she had to go, eyes flashing with something I couldn't quite identify. I scowled and said goodbye as she rushed out the door, wishing she would tell whoever it was to just leave her alone. This was the fifth time in just two weeks we'd been interrupted.
Then it hit me like a thunder bolt.
She's lying.
One more sad song,
Tears shed, she's gone,
She'd take it back,
If she only could...
I had never been very good at leaving well enough alone. I was not a curious sort; rather, I was a seeker. I wanted to know the truth about things, and if that meant diving deeper than I probably should, then I was more than willing to do it.
But I wasn't ready for what I saw when I followed her out.
Jessie, my Jessie Rusher was nuzzling up against some other boy. I couldn't get close enough to see his face without being detected, but I could very easily see the bastard's ox hands groping in places that I'd thought were virgin territory for her. I watched, horrified and feeling sick to my stomach. I'd lost her. She'd been lying to me. How long have you been doing this?
His lips sought hers out. I felt something inside shatter into a thousand useless pieces.
She, as if sensing my hurt somehow, pulled away from him and wiped something from her eyes.
And all the perfect words,
They seem so wrong,
She's gone,
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed,
And you wish you could be...
The next day, I couldn't even force myself to crawl out of bed for school. I half-pretended to be sick and my mom let me stay home, although something told me that going to school would've been better. It would have kept me distracted. It wouldn't have given me time to stew and brood about what I'd seen last night.
My head ached. It was late afternoon. Mac should be home soon.
I lay on my side, blanket pulled up above my head, hoping that it would help me in my attempt to hide from the real world. I didn't want to think about what I'd seen. I didn't want to think about how long she'd been lying to me. I didn't want to think about anything; it hurt. I just wanted to wrap myself up in a cocoon and never come out again.
The sharp ring of the phone laying on my nightstand nearly split my brain in half. With a groan I tossed the blanket off my head and answered it for the sole purpose of making it be quiet. “Hello?” I grumbled groggily.
“Keefe!” it was her, and she sounded worried, “Are you okay? I didn't see you at school today.”
“I'm sick.” I answered gruffly. No amount of concern could make up for what I'd seen.
“Oh. Well...” she hesitated, “you wouldn't mind having some company, would you?”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with me...
I lied and told her I wouldn't mind at all. It felt horrible, lying to her, and I wondered how she could stand deceiving me in such a huge way while I could hardly bear just two small white lies.
It occurred to me that I should try and drag myself out of my sanctuary so I could put on some clothes I hadn't slept in, or at least comb my hair so it didn't look like I'd just gotten out of bed. But I couldn't find the strength to. My heart was ripped and hardly beating, making me feel so ridiculously lethargic that I couldn't do anything but sit up.
It hurt to move. It hurt to breath.
True to her word (for once), Jessie showed up a few minutes later. I could hear her footsteps coming up the stairs and, drawing in a breath that seemed to rake my lungs and throat like a cat's claws, I awaited her to come in.
Best friend, worst thing,
She's been cheating,
Friend deceives,
She leaves...
As soon as she came through the door, I could tell that she was surprised. I knew I looked messy and tired, and I also knew that she had never seen me quite like that before. “You really weren't kidding,” she said quietly, slowly gliding over to the side of my bed and sitting down, “you look like you didn't get any sleep.”
I hadn't gotten any sleep. Because I couldn't stop thinking about you and him.
“Yeah.” I mumbled, looking at the covers. What was I supposed to say to her? She was my best friend, my first love, my everything in this vulnerable part of my life, and she'd just been lying to me.
She obviously wasn't afraid of 'catching' whatever it was that I 'had,' because she slowly crawled up onto the bed and up to my side, nestling the side of her face against my chest. “You're warm,” she observed, “do you have a fever?”
I pressed my lips together, resisting the urge to shove her away with every bit of my strength. I ignored the question. “How long, Jess?”
She straightened, her dark eyes flashing momentarily with fear. “What?” She replied, regaining her composure and playing dumb.
“How long have you been seeing him?” My voice, sliding in between clenched teeth, sounded like two rough rocks grating together.
Last date, she cries,
Whispers goodbye,
She walks out once more,
Out that door...
Then the fear was back and she withdrew, staying just out of arm's reach. She knew she'd been caught. But I wasn't quite sure I understood why she seemed so terrified. I was furious, yes, but I would never hurt her. Never in a million years. I'd seen fists used out of anger far too often in my lifetime; she of all people should know that.
“Three weeks.” She answered softly, her eyes avoiding mine.
I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to call her cruel names. I wanted to tell her that she was mine. I wanted to make her suffer. I wanted to punish her.
But I didn't. Gathering all my strength, I stood and clenched my jaw. “Get out.”
“Keefe...” She didn't move.
“Get out!”
And all the perfect words,
They seem so wrong,
She's gone,
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed,
And you wish you could be...
She flinched at the harshness of my voice and I felt a pang of regret, but I pushed it aside. There was nothing to be sorry for, was there? I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd always been stingy with love, even with my twin brother and mother; she should've considered herself lucky, but she just went and threw it back in my face.
“Please, Keefe,” it was pitiful, the way she was begging, “you've got to let me explain.”
I narrowed my eyes, my patience already wearing thin. “Explain what? It's not like I didn't catch you two snogging last night,” I snarled, feeling very much like a furious lion rather than a human being, “or were you going to use some excuse? Is he just better with his hands, slut?”
My sharp tongue wounded her deeply. Tears formed in her eyes and her face contorted into a look of such pain that one may think I'd just stabbed her through the heart. “You saw us?” she murmured, then shook her head as if it didn't matter, “No, I...I just...”
“You think he's better than me? You love him?” I demanded, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer.
“No!” Jess cried, “It's none of that! I...I love you, Keefe, I just -”
“You do not!” I yelled, unaware of the tears streaking down my own face, “Don't lie to me!”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with me...
If she said anything after that, I didn't hear it. The blood roaring in my ears, paired with the splitting pain in my head and the taste of salt tinging my lips made it impossible to think of anything but myself. I stared at her, saw her lips move as she tried to explain, her hands wave as she tried to get my attention, her eyes start to get wide when I didn't respond.
The next thing I knew, I was on my knees, face buried in my hands, words my heart couldn't say spilling down my cheeks in rivulets. It wasn't fair...
“I'm sorry,” her voice was so close, so temptingly close in my ear, her arm snaking across my shoulders as she tried vainly to make my strength return, “I love you, Keefe. I really do.”
Pretty words. I couldn't believe them, no matter how much I wanted to.
I didn't trust her.
Please stay, don't go away,
The hardest thing is letting go of you,
Stay, don't go away,
The hardest thing is letting go of you,
What can I do?
“No, you don't,” I insisted shakily, not having the heart to shrug her arm off my shoulder, “you were lying to me when you said that for the past three weeks. Why should this time be any different? Why should I believe you now?”
She didn't have anything to say about that. Her arm lifted, and I could feel her presence start to leave too. I jerked my head up to see if she really was just going to walk out the door, and sure enough, her back was turned to me. She had, however, paused a moment to look over her shoulder and peer down helplessly at me.
“Why?” I asked again, a new concept suddenly rushing through me like water, “What did I do wrong?”
“It's...” Jess faltered with her words, as if she wasn't quite sure which ones to use, “it's not your fault.”
Oh, but it must have been. She wouldn't have been tempted so easily if it wasn't. Had I not called her enough? Spent enough time with her? Held her close enough? Kissed her hard and often enough? Told her I loved her enough?
I slowly, painfully brought myself up into a standing position. The ground spun under my feet and I nearly stumbled right back down toward the floor again, but I refused to look like anymore of a fool than I already did. Biting the inside of my cheek and releasing the breath I'd been holding, I took a few unsteady steps toward her. When I reached her, she blinked up at me, confused and even a little scared.
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
Alone with, alone with...
Quick as a snake, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. Hard. I made it soft with love, hot with want, and desperate with need all at once, knowing it would be the last time I'd ever get to kiss her again. She kissed me back, and I drank in every second of the hollowness of it all.
It didn't mean anything.
After a long moment, I pulled away. Had she tasted my skin and thought of him? Had she played with my tongue and imagined his? Had she felt my heart beat and ached for him? “I hope he's a better kisser than me,” I said pointedly, “bye, Jess.”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with...
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A/N: Yeah. There you go. I don't feel like I put a lot of feeling into this one as I do with a lot of Keefe's bits, but I don't really think this one's that bad, either. That last line of his is one of my favorites.
Disclaimer: I do not own the lyrics to "One More Sad Song."
Song Used: The All-American Rejects' "One More Sad Song."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thirty-Seven: One More Sad Song
Puppet: Keefe O'Kane
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One boy, one girl,
Two hearts, their world,
Time goes by,
Secrets rise...
“What's gonna happen if your brother walks in?”
I smiled laughingly into her soft dark hair, stifling the chuckle that threatened to slip past my lips. I really wouldn't have minded if Jesus Himself wandered into the room; it wasn't everyday when the two of us could get away with lazing about on the couch, my arms secured around her middle and her legs intertwined with mine. “My brother walks in,” I answered carelessly, “it's not like we're doing anything.”
She laughed a little and settled her shoulder blades a little deeper into my chest, nestling just a little closer. I could sense she was about to say something, but she was cut off by the sharp twitter of a cell phone. She sat up so quickly that I could still feel her heat tumbling after her on the fabric of the couch. I growled sharply in displeasure, but lay still and quiet while she spoke hurriedly with whoever it was on the other line.
Sounded like one of her friends. She hung up and told me she had to go, eyes flashing with something I couldn't quite identify. I scowled and said goodbye as she rushed out the door, wishing she would tell whoever it was to just leave her alone. This was the fifth time in just two weeks we'd been interrupted.
Then it hit me like a thunder bolt.
She's lying.
One more sad song,
Tears shed, she's gone,
She'd take it back,
If she only could...
I had never been very good at leaving well enough alone. I was not a curious sort; rather, I was a seeker. I wanted to know the truth about things, and if that meant diving deeper than I probably should, then I was more than willing to do it.
But I wasn't ready for what I saw when I followed her out.
Jessie, my Jessie Rusher was nuzzling up against some other boy. I couldn't get close enough to see his face without being detected, but I could very easily see the bastard's ox hands groping in places that I'd thought were virgin territory for her. I watched, horrified and feeling sick to my stomach. I'd lost her. She'd been lying to me. How long have you been doing this?
His lips sought hers out. I felt something inside shatter into a thousand useless pieces.
She, as if sensing my hurt somehow, pulled away from him and wiped something from her eyes.
And all the perfect words,
They seem so wrong,
She's gone,
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed,
And you wish you could be...
The next day, I couldn't even force myself to crawl out of bed for school. I half-pretended to be sick and my mom let me stay home, although something told me that going to school would've been better. It would have kept me distracted. It wouldn't have given me time to stew and brood about what I'd seen last night.
My head ached. It was late afternoon. Mac should be home soon.
I lay on my side, blanket pulled up above my head, hoping that it would help me in my attempt to hide from the real world. I didn't want to think about what I'd seen. I didn't want to think about how long she'd been lying to me. I didn't want to think about anything; it hurt. I just wanted to wrap myself up in a cocoon and never come out again.
The sharp ring of the phone laying on my nightstand nearly split my brain in half. With a groan I tossed the blanket off my head and answered it for the sole purpose of making it be quiet. “Hello?” I grumbled groggily.
“Keefe!” it was her, and she sounded worried, “Are you okay? I didn't see you at school today.”
“I'm sick.” I answered gruffly. No amount of concern could make up for what I'd seen.
“Oh. Well...” she hesitated, “you wouldn't mind having some company, would you?”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with me...
I lied and told her I wouldn't mind at all. It felt horrible, lying to her, and I wondered how she could stand deceiving me in such a huge way while I could hardly bear just two small white lies.
It occurred to me that I should try and drag myself out of my sanctuary so I could put on some clothes I hadn't slept in, or at least comb my hair so it didn't look like I'd just gotten out of bed. But I couldn't find the strength to. My heart was ripped and hardly beating, making me feel so ridiculously lethargic that I couldn't do anything but sit up.
It hurt to move. It hurt to breath.
True to her word (for once), Jessie showed up a few minutes later. I could hear her footsteps coming up the stairs and, drawing in a breath that seemed to rake my lungs and throat like a cat's claws, I awaited her to come in.
Best friend, worst thing,
She's been cheating,
Friend deceives,
She leaves...
As soon as she came through the door, I could tell that she was surprised. I knew I looked messy and tired, and I also knew that she had never seen me quite like that before. “You really weren't kidding,” she said quietly, slowly gliding over to the side of my bed and sitting down, “you look like you didn't get any sleep.”
I hadn't gotten any sleep. Because I couldn't stop thinking about you and him.
“Yeah.” I mumbled, looking at the covers. What was I supposed to say to her? She was my best friend, my first love, my everything in this vulnerable part of my life, and she'd just been lying to me.
She obviously wasn't afraid of 'catching' whatever it was that I 'had,' because she slowly crawled up onto the bed and up to my side, nestling the side of her face against my chest. “You're warm,” she observed, “do you have a fever?”
I pressed my lips together, resisting the urge to shove her away with every bit of my strength. I ignored the question. “How long, Jess?”
She straightened, her dark eyes flashing momentarily with fear. “What?” She replied, regaining her composure and playing dumb.
“How long have you been seeing him?” My voice, sliding in between clenched teeth, sounded like two rough rocks grating together.
Last date, she cries,
Whispers goodbye,
She walks out once more,
Out that door...
Then the fear was back and she withdrew, staying just out of arm's reach. She knew she'd been caught. But I wasn't quite sure I understood why she seemed so terrified. I was furious, yes, but I would never hurt her. Never in a million years. I'd seen fists used out of anger far too often in my lifetime; she of all people should know that.
“Three weeks.” She answered softly, her eyes avoiding mine.
I wanted to yell at her. I wanted to call her cruel names. I wanted to tell her that she was mine. I wanted to make her suffer. I wanted to punish her.
But I didn't. Gathering all my strength, I stood and clenched my jaw. “Get out.”
“Keefe...” She didn't move.
“Get out!”
And all the perfect words,
They seem so wrong,
She's gone,
You wish that you could learn to see,
The door is closed,
And you wish you could be...
She flinched at the harshness of my voice and I felt a pang of regret, but I pushed it aside. There was nothing to be sorry for, was there? I hadn't done anything wrong. I'd always been stingy with love, even with my twin brother and mother; she should've considered herself lucky, but she just went and threw it back in my face.
“Please, Keefe,” it was pitiful, the way she was begging, “you've got to let me explain.”
I narrowed my eyes, my patience already wearing thin. “Explain what? It's not like I didn't catch you two snogging last night,” I snarled, feeling very much like a furious lion rather than a human being, “or were you going to use some excuse? Is he just better with his hands, slut?”
My sharp tongue wounded her deeply. Tears formed in her eyes and her face contorted into a look of such pain that one may think I'd just stabbed her through the heart. “You saw us?” she murmured, then shook her head as if it didn't matter, “No, I...I just...”
“You think he's better than me? You love him?” I demanded, unsure if I wanted to hear the answer.
“No!” Jess cried, “It's none of that! I...I love you, Keefe, I just -”
“You do not!” I yelled, unaware of the tears streaking down my own face, “Don't lie to me!”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with me...
If she said anything after that, I didn't hear it. The blood roaring in my ears, paired with the splitting pain in my head and the taste of salt tinging my lips made it impossible to think of anything but myself. I stared at her, saw her lips move as she tried to explain, her hands wave as she tried to get my attention, her eyes start to get wide when I didn't respond.
The next thing I knew, I was on my knees, face buried in my hands, words my heart couldn't say spilling down my cheeks in rivulets. It wasn't fair...
“I'm sorry,” her voice was so close, so temptingly close in my ear, her arm snaking across my shoulders as she tried vainly to make my strength return, “I love you, Keefe. I really do.”
Pretty words. I couldn't believe them, no matter how much I wanted to.
I didn't trust her.
Please stay, don't go away,
The hardest thing is letting go of you,
Stay, don't go away,
The hardest thing is letting go of you,
What can I do?
“No, you don't,” I insisted shakily, not having the heart to shrug her arm off my shoulder, “you were lying to me when you said that for the past three weeks. Why should this time be any different? Why should I believe you now?”
She didn't have anything to say about that. Her arm lifted, and I could feel her presence start to leave too. I jerked my head up to see if she really was just going to walk out the door, and sure enough, her back was turned to me. She had, however, paused a moment to look over her shoulder and peer down helplessly at me.
“Why?” I asked again, a new concept suddenly rushing through me like water, “What did I do wrong?”
“It's...” Jess faltered with her words, as if she wasn't quite sure which ones to use, “it's not your fault.”
Oh, but it must have been. She wouldn't have been tempted so easily if it wasn't. Had I not called her enough? Spent enough time with her? Held her close enough? Kissed her hard and often enough? Told her I loved her enough?
I slowly, painfully brought myself up into a standing position. The ground spun under my feet and I nearly stumbled right back down toward the floor again, but I refused to look like anymore of a fool than I already did. Biting the inside of my cheek and releasing the breath I'd been holding, I took a few unsteady steps toward her. When I reached her, she blinked up at me, confused and even a little scared.
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
Alone with, alone with...
Quick as a snake, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her. Hard. I made it soft with love, hot with want, and desperate with need all at once, knowing it would be the last time I'd ever get to kiss her again. She kissed me back, and I drank in every second of the hollowness of it all.
It didn't mean anything.
After a long moment, I pulled away. Had she tasted my skin and thought of him? Had she played with my tongue and imagined his? Had she felt my heart beat and ached for him? “I hope he's a better kisser than me,” I said pointedly, “bye, Jess.”
Alone with you, alone with me,
What can I do?
I cannot breathe,
My heart is torn for all to see,
Alone with you, alone with...
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A/N: Yeah. There you go. I don't feel like I put a lot of feeling into this one as I do with a lot of Keefe's bits, but I don't really think this one's that bad, either. That last line of his is one of my favorites.
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