Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Tell Me My Life
"I'm in love with these jeans, Bren, they're--" she stopped, noticing william at the table. "Oh, William. Hi," Katelynn finished nervously. I hated that William made her feel like that.
"Good morning, Katelynn. Why don't you join me," he gestured to the chair across from him, "while Brendon starts your breakfast?"
She threw an anxious glance to me, and I nodded indicating that she should sit; she did so, slowly. I grabbing food from the cabinets blindly, never taking my attention from the two of them.
"So Katelynn," William started. "I trust that Brendon has been decent to you, yes?"
"Uhm, very, yes." Her voice shook. God damn william for doing that to her...
"I see. The two of you have gotten very close-- closer than I expected, certainly!"
Katelynn looked at me again, but I turned to the stove quickly. "I suppose so," she muttered. I heard william laugh quietly.
"Judging by the... arrangement I found the two of you in this morning..."
I didnt need to look to know that katelynn was blushing madly. my hands had started to shake in fury and anxiety.
I just... I had a nightmare. Brendon was just keeping me company. So I could sleep."
"Please, Katelynn," he laughed again. "you need not be embarassed by it. in fact, I applaud you're choice." His voice dropped, the elation evident in his words. "You can't get pregnant from sleeping with a vampire. I assume he's told you that? You never have to worry about diseases."
Katelynn stuttered for a second. "I-- William, we didn't--"
"William," I whispered. I'd finally realized what he intended to do. "please dont."
"Dont what, Brendon?"
"William, I'm begging..."
He gave an obviously fake gasp. "What? You mean to say you havent told her that part of the story yet? She doesn't know?"
"Bill, please dont." I turned to face him, pleading now. "I swear it won't happen again, will--"
"What havent you told me?" katelynn interrupted.
"Nothing, Katelynn, nothing." the begging continued, but william ignored me.
"I would have thought he would have at least mentioned it. How you and I first me, I mean."
"Tell me," katelynn stated. I shook my head vigorously, but it was futile as she was staring at william.
"You know, of course, that Brendon drank from you. And you know that he stopped before you died. Well, obviously. But he didnt stop on his own. He couldnt have. It was I who stopped him. Let me backtrack first," he said thoughtfully. I couldnt speak, couldnt move, or else I would have picked katelynn up and ran. I could not believe that william, my best friend for over three hundered years, would do this to me.
"We-- the vampires-- have a, shall we say trap? a lure, to catch our prey. it can be a most deadly weapon." william threw a glance at me, smirking. i was gripping the edge of the table so hard that my fingers had already made impressions in the wood.
"it is a charm, I suppose. We can make humans do whatever we want them to do. Make them feel like we want them to feel. Brendon sought you as prey. He used his charm-- he strance-- on you to get you laone. And when he tasted your blood, it overpowered him in a very... ah, human way.
My whole body was shaking, my mind wanted me to cry but of course my frozen body wouldnt let me.
"What do you mean?" katelynn asked quietly. My eyes were closed, but I could clearly picture the smile william was wearing.
"I mean that his bloodlust created bodylust. You were powerless against it, completely controlled by Brendon's trance. He was lost, too, of course, driven entirely by his thirst. Or thirsts, I should say. It was a chore to hold him back long enough to take you and run, and as soon as the trance was lifted you were unconcious."
"I-- I dont..."
"it's simple, katelynn," he persisted, by this time positively bursting with glee. "Brendon raped you."
(flashback?)
Fuck, I hadn't fed in days. I was so thirsty.
"Closer," I murmured, willing her forward. "I wont hurt you... there."
The girl, hand selected from that night's crowd, stopped in front of me, a distant look in her eyes. Hidden in some tiny back room of teh venue, I began laying kisses on her neck. Choosing the spot to strike...
My teeth grazed her skin, deciding, and I bit down. Instantly my senses exploded. the taste! So unlike anything I'd tasted before, so much sweeter. I drank more deeply, getting lost in the feeling of her blood swirling inside me. And it wasn't just because I was thirsty-- I'd been thirst before. It was her. I knew after the first drop of her blood that I wouldnt leave her with the harmlessly small drink I usually lived on.
My first murder. I only just felt sorry for her.
The thought of killing her-- of having the entire body of warm, sweet blood to myself-- aroused a deeper feeling inside me. Her taste was so perfect, so irresistable, but I wanted more from her. It had been centuries since I'd felt this way... vaguely I wondered how this one girl could bring me so far over the edge. Above that thought, though, I redirected the intentions of my trance. The girl, who was motionless before, started moving, started touching me-- my arms, my chest, my waist. I kept drinking, forgetting myself in the pleasure of her taste and her touch. Without my full awareness, my trance willed her to sink to the floor and, as if I was under a trance as well, I followed.
Without worrying about being careful or gentle with the girl, I quickly got rid of her clothes before making her do the same to me. Shit, it felt too good already.
My first murder... right after my first rape.
(end flashback)
"You're lying," Katelynn muttered. Her shaking voice drew me out of my memories. One look at William told me that he knew what I had just relived.
"I wish," he replied with faluse sincerity. "Tell her I'm not, Bren."
I forced myself to speak. "Do you believe me now, that this is all my fault? Now that you know what a monster I am?" indeed, she was finally looking at as the monster, the terror, that I was. What beast could be so cruel as to, not only take the blood of one so innocent and pure, but to rape her at the same time? I hated myself for it, and now Katelynn did too. Exactly as William intended.
"I am so, so sorry," I whispered as my eyes slid shut again. I heard her shair scrape on the floor, hurried footstpes and then the bedroom door closing.
"You've overstayed your welcome, William"
He laughed quietly. "I'm afraid youre right this time." but he didn't move.
"Leave," I said loudly. "get out, now."
"if you insist." I heard him walking to the door and opening it. At that point my knees gave out, and I sank to the floor. But William wasn't finished with me yet.
"Oh, Brendon? If she'll take you back after that, you have my blessing."
"Good morning, Katelynn. Why don't you join me," he gestured to the chair across from him, "while Brendon starts your breakfast?"
She threw an anxious glance to me, and I nodded indicating that she should sit; she did so, slowly. I grabbing food from the cabinets blindly, never taking my attention from the two of them.
"So Katelynn," William started. "I trust that Brendon has been decent to you, yes?"
"Uhm, very, yes." Her voice shook. God damn william for doing that to her...
"I see. The two of you have gotten very close-- closer than I expected, certainly!"
Katelynn looked at me again, but I turned to the stove quickly. "I suppose so," she muttered. I heard william laugh quietly.
"Judging by the... arrangement I found the two of you in this morning..."
I didnt need to look to know that katelynn was blushing madly. my hands had started to shake in fury and anxiety.
I just... I had a nightmare. Brendon was just keeping me company. So I could sleep."
"Please, Katelynn," he laughed again. "you need not be embarassed by it. in fact, I applaud you're choice." His voice dropped, the elation evident in his words. "You can't get pregnant from sleeping with a vampire. I assume he's told you that? You never have to worry about diseases."
Katelynn stuttered for a second. "I-- William, we didn't--"
"William," I whispered. I'd finally realized what he intended to do. "please dont."
"Dont what, Brendon?"
"William, I'm begging..."
He gave an obviously fake gasp. "What? You mean to say you havent told her that part of the story yet? She doesn't know?"
"Bill, please dont." I turned to face him, pleading now. "I swear it won't happen again, will--"
"What havent you told me?" katelynn interrupted.
"Nothing, Katelynn, nothing." the begging continued, but william ignored me.
"I would have thought he would have at least mentioned it. How you and I first me, I mean."
"Tell me," katelynn stated. I shook my head vigorously, but it was futile as she was staring at william.
"You know, of course, that Brendon drank from you. And you know that he stopped before you died. Well, obviously. But he didnt stop on his own. He couldnt have. It was I who stopped him. Let me backtrack first," he said thoughtfully. I couldnt speak, couldnt move, or else I would have picked katelynn up and ran. I could not believe that william, my best friend for over three hundered years, would do this to me.
"We-- the vampires-- have a, shall we say trap? a lure, to catch our prey. it can be a most deadly weapon." william threw a glance at me, smirking. i was gripping the edge of the table so hard that my fingers had already made impressions in the wood.
"it is a charm, I suppose. We can make humans do whatever we want them to do. Make them feel like we want them to feel. Brendon sought you as prey. He used his charm-- he strance-- on you to get you laone. And when he tasted your blood, it overpowered him in a very... ah, human way.
My whole body was shaking, my mind wanted me to cry but of course my frozen body wouldnt let me.
"What do you mean?" katelynn asked quietly. My eyes were closed, but I could clearly picture the smile william was wearing.
"I mean that his bloodlust created bodylust. You were powerless against it, completely controlled by Brendon's trance. He was lost, too, of course, driven entirely by his thirst. Or thirsts, I should say. It was a chore to hold him back long enough to take you and run, and as soon as the trance was lifted you were unconcious."
"I-- I dont..."
"it's simple, katelynn," he persisted, by this time positively bursting with glee. "Brendon raped you."
(flashback?)
Fuck, I hadn't fed in days. I was so thirsty.
"Closer," I murmured, willing her forward. "I wont hurt you... there."
The girl, hand selected from that night's crowd, stopped in front of me, a distant look in her eyes. Hidden in some tiny back room of teh venue, I began laying kisses on her neck. Choosing the spot to strike...
My teeth grazed her skin, deciding, and I bit down. Instantly my senses exploded. the taste! So unlike anything I'd tasted before, so much sweeter. I drank more deeply, getting lost in the feeling of her blood swirling inside me. And it wasn't just because I was thirsty-- I'd been thirst before. It was her. I knew after the first drop of her blood that I wouldnt leave her with the harmlessly small drink I usually lived on.
My first murder. I only just felt sorry for her.
The thought of killing her-- of having the entire body of warm, sweet blood to myself-- aroused a deeper feeling inside me. Her taste was so perfect, so irresistable, but I wanted more from her. It had been centuries since I'd felt this way... vaguely I wondered how this one girl could bring me so far over the edge. Above that thought, though, I redirected the intentions of my trance. The girl, who was motionless before, started moving, started touching me-- my arms, my chest, my waist. I kept drinking, forgetting myself in the pleasure of her taste and her touch. Without my full awareness, my trance willed her to sink to the floor and, as if I was under a trance as well, I followed.
Without worrying about being careful or gentle with the girl, I quickly got rid of her clothes before making her do the same to me. Shit, it felt too good already.
My first murder... right after my first rape.
(end flashback)
"You're lying," Katelynn muttered. Her shaking voice drew me out of my memories. One look at William told me that he knew what I had just relived.
"I wish," he replied with faluse sincerity. "Tell her I'm not, Bren."
I forced myself to speak. "Do you believe me now, that this is all my fault? Now that you know what a monster I am?" indeed, she was finally looking at as the monster, the terror, that I was. What beast could be so cruel as to, not only take the blood of one so innocent and pure, but to rape her at the same time? I hated myself for it, and now Katelynn did too. Exactly as William intended.
"I am so, so sorry," I whispered as my eyes slid shut again. I heard her shair scrape on the floor, hurried footstpes and then the bedroom door closing.
"You've overstayed your welcome, William"
He laughed quietly. "I'm afraid youre right this time." but he didn't move.
"Leave," I said loudly. "get out, now."
"if you insist." I heard him walking to the door and opening it. At that point my knees gave out, and I sank to the floor. But William wasn't finished with me yet.
"Oh, Brendon? If she'll take you back after that, you have my blessing."
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