Categories > Original > Humor > What NOT to do with Tokio Hotel
*Selena’s POV*
Okay, yeah, right now you're probably thinking, THESE CHICKS ARE INSANE!
Yeah, we’ve got not one, but two tarantulas loose in the bus, and not to mention that soon four guys who absolutely hate spiders are getting on. Ha ha, we are so evil.
“Psst, Katie! Look at were Whore is. And Tranny.” Katie looked up from under the couch; she was looking for her spider, Fuckshitmotherfucker, and my spider, Kuddles.
Of course she was asked what she was looking for, and she managed to pull off an excellent lie, saying that she dropped an earring and was looking for it.
“Was? Tranny is looking for a jacket in the closet and Whore is waiting for him to move so he can get his hat. What is so cool about that?” She quirked an eyebrow at me and I smiled evilly while whispering my evil plan in her ear.
I plugged my ears with my headphones, playing the most chaotic music I had on my Zune, which happened to be Before I Forget by Slipknot. Katie was behind me and we were seriously going to make some twins mad.
Playing my music loudly, I walked past Tom, knocking him into the closet and having him push Bill in with him. I quickly turned around and Katie attempted to hold them in while I turned out the light. After the light was out (and that would not have been possible if Bill hadn’t tripped several times causing him to fall on top of Tom), we shut and locked and again taped the door shut with stronger duct tape!
“Score! We are so making some Twincest dreams come true, cause there is no way in hell that that closet is big enough for them NOT to be all up on each other.” Katie smiled evilly and we high-fived each other.
We considered leaving them there for about 3 minutes…
Until we heard the screams.
“WAS DAS FICKT?! WAS DIE HÖLLE AUF MEINEM ARM KRIECHT?! GUSTAV, GEORG HILFE! WAS DIE VERDAMMTE HÖLLE?!” Katie turned to me and I told her, “I think I found the Spiders…” And we laughed…
“SELENA, KATIE, YOU BETTER LET US OUT RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR- EKK!” Wow, who knew that Tow screams like a girl. We laughed more, and they’ll never forgive us for this…
“Tell you what I’m thirsty and so is Selly, so we are going to leave and get something to drink. Tata, boys!” Katie knocked once on the door and walked off, I followed because I am an idiot.
“When are we gonna let them out?” I asked.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe we should let Gustav and Georg decide…”
~30 Minutes later~
Well Tom and Bill have been in there for thirty minutes with two huge spiders. Can’t be long before someone has to find them.
Well speak of the Devil(s), it’s Gustav and Georg to the rescue!
“You two seen Bill und Tom? They were supposed to be ready ten minutes ago.” Georg asked.
“Nope, got no clue…” Katie said with an evil smile.
“Let’s just find them, they can’t be far.” Gustav said.
Well, me and Katie decided to just sit there and chillax, but one: Georg and Gustav needed help getting the tape off the door; and two: I wanted Kuddles back.
We opened the door, and boy were they angry- they probably would have hit us if they weren’t scared of the spiders biting them.
“KUDDLES!” I grabbed my spider and held it to my face affectionately while Katie grabbed her’s in the same manner only saying “Fuckshitmotherfucker!” and placed it on her shoulder where it crawled freely.
Georg and Gustav were slightly frightened by our pets, but Bill looked like he was going to piss himself and Tom looked ready to punch one of us.
He did. Me. In the face.
“You know we fucking hate spiders. How could you do that?! Gott, do you care about people’s feelings?!” My eyes were watering.
HIS FEELINGS?! HE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED. HE JUST FUCKING PUNCHED HIS YOUNGER SISTER IN THE FACE.
“It’s on now asshole; we didn’t know the spiders were in the closet, we were just going to put you in there as a joke! Was that really something you had to hit me for?!” I yelled at Tom while holding the side of my face, where I had been punched.
Kuddles was okay though, he landed on the carpet nicely.
I grabbed Kuddles stormed off and Katie after me, I didn’t want them to see me cry and plotting revenge…
Okay, yeah, right now you're probably thinking, THESE CHICKS ARE INSANE!
Yeah, we’ve got not one, but two tarantulas loose in the bus, and not to mention that soon four guys who absolutely hate spiders are getting on. Ha ha, we are so evil.
“Psst, Katie! Look at were Whore is. And Tranny.” Katie looked up from under the couch; she was looking for her spider, Fuckshitmotherfucker, and my spider, Kuddles.
Of course she was asked what she was looking for, and she managed to pull off an excellent lie, saying that she dropped an earring and was looking for it.
“Was? Tranny is looking for a jacket in the closet and Whore is waiting for him to move so he can get his hat. What is so cool about that?” She quirked an eyebrow at me and I smiled evilly while whispering my evil plan in her ear.
I plugged my ears with my headphones, playing the most chaotic music I had on my Zune, which happened to be Before I Forget by Slipknot. Katie was behind me and we were seriously going to make some twins mad.
Playing my music loudly, I walked past Tom, knocking him into the closet and having him push Bill in with him. I quickly turned around and Katie attempted to hold them in while I turned out the light. After the light was out (and that would not have been possible if Bill hadn’t tripped several times causing him to fall on top of Tom), we shut and locked and again taped the door shut with stronger duct tape!
“Score! We are so making some Twincest dreams come true, cause there is no way in hell that that closet is big enough for them NOT to be all up on each other.” Katie smiled evilly and we high-fived each other.
We considered leaving them there for about 3 minutes…
Until we heard the screams.
“WAS DAS FICKT?! WAS DIE HÖLLE AUF MEINEM ARM KRIECHT?! GUSTAV, GEORG HILFE! WAS DIE VERDAMMTE HÖLLE?!” Katie turned to me and I told her, “I think I found the Spiders…” And we laughed…
“SELENA, KATIE, YOU BETTER LET US OUT RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR- EKK!” Wow, who knew that Tow screams like a girl. We laughed more, and they’ll never forgive us for this…
“Tell you what I’m thirsty and so is Selly, so we are going to leave and get something to drink. Tata, boys!” Katie knocked once on the door and walked off, I followed because I am an idiot.
“When are we gonna let them out?” I asked.
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe we should let Gustav and Georg decide…”
~30 Minutes later~
Well Tom and Bill have been in there for thirty minutes with two huge spiders. Can’t be long before someone has to find them.
Well speak of the Devil(s), it’s Gustav and Georg to the rescue!
“You two seen Bill und Tom? They were supposed to be ready ten minutes ago.” Georg asked.
“Nope, got no clue…” Katie said with an evil smile.
“Let’s just find them, they can’t be far.” Gustav said.
Well, me and Katie decided to just sit there and chillax, but one: Georg and Gustav needed help getting the tape off the door; and two: I wanted Kuddles back.
We opened the door, and boy were they angry- they probably would have hit us if they weren’t scared of the spiders biting them.
“KUDDLES!” I grabbed my spider and held it to my face affectionately while Katie grabbed her’s in the same manner only saying “Fuckshitmotherfucker!” and placed it on her shoulder where it crawled freely.
Georg and Gustav were slightly frightened by our pets, but Bill looked like he was going to piss himself and Tom looked ready to punch one of us.
He did. Me. In the face.
“You know we fucking hate spiders. How could you do that?! Gott, do you care about people’s feelings?!” My eyes were watering.
HIS FEELINGS?! HE WAS THE ONE WHO CHANGED. HE JUST FUCKING PUNCHED HIS YOUNGER SISTER IN THE FACE.
“It’s on now asshole; we didn’t know the spiders were in the closet, we were just going to put you in there as a joke! Was that really something you had to hit me for?!” I yelled at Tom while holding the side of my face, where I had been punched.
Kuddles was okay though, he landed on the carpet nicely.
I grabbed Kuddles stormed off and Katie after me, I didn’t want them to see me cry and plotting revenge…
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