FicWad

Disclaimer: I do not own nor did I help in any way in the creating or production of Labyrinth, Alice in Wonderland, Willy Wonka, or Killer 7.

(though hearing all of these titles together kinda makes it sound like a story worth reading, huh XD)

Oh, and more 3x4 by the way, only a little, and it is necessary.

003: License to Clown:


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3:00 p.m.
Five hours have passed since Quatre had left, something had happened.

Trowa needed to think up a plan, and it wouldn't be hard with that super computer he calls a brain. It would have to be a stealth mission, he couldn't just run into a carnival, guns-a-blazin'...there will be children there. He would have to be inconspicuous. That means he would have to have money. What money Trowa had he just added to Quatre's...and Quatre took all of the money, and when he asked Duo for money all he had in his wallet was monopoly money. When he asked Wufei he said he had been mugged...so Trowa would also have to be in disguise. Now...what could one wear to a carnival, get in for free, and not look suspicious?

Trowa was on his way to the carnival, dressed in his infamous clown outfit, mask and all. People stared at him as he walked down the sidewalk. It could have been that he was dressed like a clown...or it could have been the fact that his gun was hanging out for all to see. Trowa could only fix one of these problems. He went to put the gun into his pockets, but it seems that clowns have no need for pockets because despite the size of his pants...there were none. The only other option, at least comfortable option, was to put it in his show, and luckily clown shoes do have room to spare. He tucked his gun into his shoe and hid it under his big pouffy pant leg.

Menacing.

When he finally arrived at the carnival he noticed a big bright sign.

"Free Admission for the Week"

...damn.

He was dressed a fool for no reason, but it was to late to care now, he had to go rescue Quatre.

Sadly for Trowa he didn't get far before the kids noticed the big tall clown, and very quickly they all swarmed around him, the tallest one only coming to his elbow. He was quite confused and at a loss of what to do. He was nothing more then a performing clown. He did flips on high wires with his sister, he never actually had to deal with people.

"Can I wear your mask?!!"

"Geez you're tall mister!"

"Wow, look Cynda! He's cute! hehehehehe."

"Say something funny!"

Trowa was at a loss. What could he do? They were all talking at once, he couldn't hear everything they were saying. He couldn't just walk away. Not only would that be rude, all the yelling kids would attract attention.

"I wanna balloon animal!"

Finally one he had an excuse not to do.

"I don't have any balloons." Trowa replied.

A 16 year old girl dressed as a ninja walked up to Trowa and handed him a bag of balloons. He looked at the bag in his hand for a long moment before looking back up at the girl.

"Who are you?"

"Hincaru." And she disappeared as quickly as she had arrived.

Trowa couldn't ponder on this for long, however.

"BALLOON ANIMALS!!!"

"I want a poodle!"

"I want a bunny!"

"A hat!"

"A sword!"

"A snake!!"

Trowa gave that last boy a blank stare. A snake? He couldn't be serious. Slowly Trowa ripped open the bag, blew up a long balloon and handed it to the boy.

"YAY!" and with that the boy ran away happily.

Wow. That's why cribs shouldn't be painted with lead paint...

"My turn! POODLE POODLE!!"

Trowa was slightly frightened by this situation. He needed to stay here and do his 'job' as not to bring attention on himself, but Quatre.

"POODLE!" the boy sounded violent, so Trowa began blowing up balloons, twisting and folding to shape animals and other things.

After about an hour went by Trowa was extremely light headed and winded. It was like for every one child that ran off with their balloon animal three more replaced them, and they were all blabbing about something. Trowa listened hard to the loud group of children.

"Psst, Chidayo! Did you hear! They say that there is a ghost in this town! It is making all of the rides go crazy. I wanna see it!"

Ghosts? I need to find Quatre.

Just as Trowa was debating on pulling out his gun and scaring them away he put his hand into the bag and felt nothing. It was empty. He stood and simply dropped the bag in front of the group of children, and he took his exit, leaving them in a swarming group of confusion. They would be fine.

Something bad had happened to Quatre, it was the only explanation, and now supernatural things were happening in the carnival. Trowa had to find Quatre, and he had to hurry.

As Trowa was walking around he was listening closely, trying to hear if anyone would mention Quatre, he needed something to go off of.

"...blonde kid going to donate a shit-ton of money! He knocked this guy out with a quater!"

That's Quatre.

Trowa turned and looked for the person who had said that. He saw two carnies talking, the one with the eye patch said something about the blonde kid again. Trowa walked up to them, for a moment he looked at the second carnie but after seeing his horrid and twisted face his eyes watched the carnie with one eye again.

"Yesterday this kid with a long long braid stole TWENTY POUNDS of cotton candy from me! His braid went all the way down his back, how could he have slipped away unnoticed?" the creepy one said.

"First thieves, then crazy Chinese guys with guns, disappearing rich blonde kids, and now ghosts! What next?"

"Where did he go?" Trowa interrupted. Both carnies looked at him.

"Next is size foot tall clowns with spiky hair and scary eyes, who can obviously kick my ass."

"Where is Quatre?"

"The quater guy?" one eye questioned.

Trowa gave him a death stare.

"Geez freak! He went that way! Please, kick that guy's ass first."

It was very unsettling being called a freak by a carnie with one eye, it had to be a bad omen or something, but Trowa started walking in the direction one eye pointed out.

After Trowa walked for a few minutes he came to a halt and looked around. Quatre would have never been in a carnival without stopping and riding a ride before he left. Trowa looked around, trying to find something that would have caught his attention.

Shooting game? No.

Roller coaster? No.

Fortune teller? Defiantly.

Trowa walked through the front of the tent, moving curtains out of his way. He stopped for a moment and watched the fog seep across the ground. He stepped through the wall of beads and watched the silhouette on the opposite side of the room, sitting at a table.

"Triton Bloom?"

"...?"

"Trowa Barton?"

He nodded.

"You are looking for a lost koibito."

He nodded again.

"Quatre is trapped in a room, behind a door to heavy for him to move. You must be the silent clown sent to save him."

"Where is he?"

"I've told you everything I know."

Trowa watched her for a moment before turning and leaving the tent.

"In all my years..." the gypsy whispered to herself, "I've never met a person whom I knew more about them then they knew...especially their name..."

Trapped behind a heavy door? Where could he be?

His eyes scanned the carnival for a place that fit the description, but only two places would actually work. A control room, but surly Quatre wouldn't do something as foolish as get locked in a control room. The only place it could be then is The House of Illusions. The door was huge and could only open and close by work of a machine, Quatre defiantly wouldn't be able to move it, therefore it did make the most sense.

Trowa walked thought the large, brightly colored door, ignoring the fact that he passed in front of many people waiting in line for the ride to actually open. He looked straight ahead, and a million reflections of himself stared back. It was a hall of mirrors. There seemed to be hundreds of mirrors and very quickly Trowa got confused, he turned for the exit.

Quatre is not in here, it would give him a migraine.

The door was only a few feet away.

(in the room with Quatre)

He was asleep on the control panel, and he grew uncomfortable in the position he was in, so he rolled over.

"RAWR"

He growled his displeasure at the machine and fell quickly back to sleep, not noticing the mass chaos he was causing outside. He was causing the carnival to go haywire again.

(Back with Trowa)

Right as he reached the door he heard the machine holding the door. It's gear started turning and the giant door closed in his face, trapping him inside. The worst part of that is the fact that the mirrors were already giving him a headache. Before he turned his back on the door he could hear people screaming about ghosts again. He stared into the large room of mirrors and shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

If there is an entrance there is an exit.

And being lead by this logic Trowa started on his way to find the ending. He seemed to walk into mirrors no matter which direction he went. The room played on a person's nerves, made them paranoid, but as long as Trowa knew he was the only person there then nothing would frighten him. He placed his hands on a mirror and followed it until he could feel himself reach an opening. When he finally found one he started down the corridor, watching each mirror intently, there was nothing there except himself looking back, but suddenly he saw a shadow drop behind him in the mirror. In the blink of an eye Trowa had his gun from his shoe and he turned and shot. A mirror shattered behind him, but other then the broken shards there was nothing there.

This is crazy..get a hold of yourself Trowa, you only have six bullets.

He started walking again, though he didn't get far before the shadow appeared again. He turned and shot, another mirror shattered. There was another room behind the shattered mirror, but before he stepped through it he saw the shadow laying on the ground.

It was a blanket.

It had been planned. The carnies were trying to scare people by making them think that there was someone else in the room with them, and it worked. He examined it closer and realized that it had been hanging from a string which he had shot through. He turned his back on the childish prank that had made him waste two bullets and he walked through he shattered mirror into the new room.

In this new room there were tall walls made of stone, so tall that even he couldn't see over them. The room was huge, and very elaborately painted, it all looked so realistic. An orange sky, dead trees, a dim sun. It was truly amazing, but Trowa didn't have the time to stop and watch, he had to find his way out, so he started down the dirt path. After a few moment of walking he came to a fork. he could go left or right, and it was at this moment he realized he was in a maze. He looked both ways, but it seemed like they both went on forever. Nothing would happen if he just stood there, so he just picked a direction and started walking.

It did last forever, he walked for ten minutes and nothing had changed.

What kind of place is this?

Trowa leaned his back on a wall and stared at the one opposite him. He was rebooting his super computer brain trying to think of the most logical way out of this, but during the rebooting process something else crossed his mind. He tilted his head and stared at the wall for a long moment.

I wonder...

He put his hands in front of him and walked forward. Where his hands should have met a wall they didn't. There was another corridor just on the inside. A simple but affective illusion. Trowa had a face fault.

No way...It's the 'Labyrinth'...without goblins and David Bowie...

No use in thinking about it though. he went to turn right but stopped.

That worm said that the castle was to the left...maybe that is the way out...

And with that Trowa turned left and started walking.

Two hours passed before Trowa left that Labyrinth. He was starring at a huge painted castle, and the exit. He was panting, bruised, beaten, bleeding, and there was only one bullet left in his gun.

"Never...never will I speak of what just happened to me..."

and with that he opened the door and walked through.

This room was stranger then the last. It was a dining room, only the furniture was huge. Everything was made for a giant, except there was a little red door that was the normal size. The only odd thing about it was it's large door handle. Trowa walked up to the door with a faint glimmer of hope, wanting the door to simply open, but knowing his own luck it wouldn't be that simple. It took both of his hands to grip the large handle and when he tried to turn it, it was locked. And then the keyhole yawned. His legs almost buckled underneath him.

"Wonderland...Alice in Wonderland? What the hell am I supposed to do..?"

He tried to turn the handle again.

"Let go!"

Trowa stared at the talking door handle.

You're kidding...

"There is a key in this room, I'm afraid if you wish to leave you must find it first."

Trowa's eyes remained on the door. If he hadn't been so sure that he would need that bullet for future use he would have shot that door and felt no remorse, but seeing no other way out he started looking for the key.

The room was large, but he could see the whole floor clearly and there was no key on the ground, so the only place it could be is up. He looked up at the large chair, he had to creak his neck to see it all. He sighed deeply and began climbing up the leg of the chair. It took all of his upper strength, but once he got to the top he looked around for a way to get on the table, and the only thing he saw was the place mat hanging over the edge.

"Why can't they just give us a ladder..."

He jumped hard and caught the place mat, climbing up it and holding on tight until he was safely on top of the table.

He stood and looked around the large white table top, but he couldn't see anything. He saw two vials on the table as well.

Surely...there aren't shrinking and growing potions...

He picked one up, and he was right. They were props. Although he knew that they were, he was still a little disappointed, who wouldn't be? He laid down on the table. He was staring up at a large mirror chandelier. He was tired of mirrors, but this one helped him. He caught a glimpse of something in it. Slowly he walked to the edge of the table and looked down. What he saw in the mirrors was a golden key. There was no way. It had to be an illusion. Trowa would have had to step over the key to get to the door.

But it's worth a shot.

Trowa went to the edge of the table and jumped onto the chair, and from the chair to the floor. He walked slowly up to the key, studying it closely before slowly reaching his hand down to pick it up. To Trowa's displeasure, however, something unthinkable happened. When his hand was only a few centimeters away the key sprouted legs and ran away. He was stuck in that position for a moment.

One more thing to check off my list of weird things I want to see before I die.

Trowa watched it run circles around the table and the chair and even him.

"You'll never catch me! You'll never catch me!!" it repeated itself over and over again.

Trowa glared at it for a long moment before slowly raising his gun and pointing it at the key.

"You'll never catch me!!!!"

It's voice was high and annoying, it would haunt his nightmares forever. All he wanted was to silence it, but he needed that bullet.

"You'll never cat-"

but he needed that thing to shut up more.

He had shot it's legs off so it couldn't run away anymore and quickly Trowa walked up to it and picked it up. He forgot it was a robot.

"You'll never catch me, you'll never catch me, you'll never catch me."

His eye twitched. He ran over to the door and shoved the key into it's...'mouth' and tried to turn it.

"It's the wrong key!" The door said muffled.

"I hate you...I hate you both."

"If you want to get out you have to find the other key."

The door barely got the sentence out before Trowa lifted his leg and kicked the key and his foot through the lock, and slowly the door creaked open. He stepped happily into the other room, not hiding his pleasure from silencing the key.

He looked around the new room. It was confusing, he couldn't make heads or tails of it. There were a million black and white lines swirling around, making him dizzy. He couldn't tell how big the room was, or were a wall was, but when he turned to leave the room the door was gone. He turned around and stared at the room. He took a few steps but he got no further before he hit his head on the ceiling.

ow...found the top.

He bent down and kept walking until the room had shrunk so small that Trowa had to sit down.

I'm going to die here, aren't I?

He was starting to regret that he had ever walked into this 'fun house'. He tapped his foot on the wall several times, and a tiny piano keyboard flipped out from the wall. He stared at it, looking like he would pass out.

Oh no...no way...

He started banging his hands on the keyboard until the whole wall opened revealing a room so beautiful and mystical you could only find it in your dreams.

Willy Wonka?!!

He stood and walked down the stairs. He looked around at all the eatable trees and plants, and the chocolate river.

Now how did they get out of here?

Trowa ran through all of his memories while he ate a candy apple he had plucked from a tree. He was kicking a gumdrop rock, starring at the ground, until he kicked it one to many times and he heard it plop into the river. He watched it's currents take the rock away.

The river...

He looked around for a boat, but there didn't seem to be one here. Nothing was going to stop him from getting out of here. All he wanted was to find Quatre and get back to the safe house. He took one more bite from the candy apple in his hand before throwing it behind him and diving into the river.

He didn't waste anytime. He started swimming as fast as he could down stream. It was only a few seconds before he was swimming through a dark tunnel. He saw disturbing images on the wall, like a chicken getting it's head cut off, and a snake snatching a mouse, but nothing would ever disturb him as bad as what happened in the Labyrinth. It gave him chills and made him swim faster, not wanting to be left in there with the thought.

Being distracted by the thought, however, is what made him find his way out. He wasn't looking where he was swimming and he slammed his head on a wall and a door. He rubbed his head and tried to remain conscious. That would look really good in the obituaries.

Gundam Pilot found dressed as a clown and drowned in a chocolate river.

People would talk about him for centuries!

He looked up at the door, but it was set so people could reach it on a boat, he would have to find a way to jump up into the door handle. He thought quickly and dove down all the way to the bottom of the river and he kicked off of the bottom with all of his might causing him to fly slightly above the river surface and allowing him to grab a hold of the handle. He yanked and opened the door, throwing himself through the door.

He stood and looked around. It was the carnival!

Oh thank God, I'm ou-...huh?

He looked at his watch. It was only six-o-clock, it shouldn't be dark outside. He grew frantic and looked around him in dismay.

"I-I'm still inside?!! I'm still inside!"

Suddenly he heard a voice rise from behind him.

"I found you Blackburn."

He turned and looked at the people behind him. There was an old man with white hair dressed in all white holding a gun to a younger man with black hair dressed in all black. The one in black had done the talking.

"You're still so pathetic Dan Smith!" The one in white said.

Dan Smith...? Dan smith! DAN SMITH! I'm in the frikin' KILLER 7?!! Dear God what did I do to deserve this? Was it the key? Was he an angel of death? Did I shoot the angel of death...I'm sorry...he was already dead it couldn't have hurt that badly!

He heard something that disturbed him greatly. A laugh. Heaven smile! They laugh when they see you, and then they blow up and kill you...they can see you but you can't see them.

Trowa took off in a panic, just trying to find a way out without dying.

Come on. There were always people there to help the Killer 7! Just look Trowa, concentrate and look for them!

He looked hard for someone in the darkness, but the only thing he heard was laugh after laugh, he knew that he had to be surrounded by heaven smiles now. There was no Travis, no Bloody Sunday, no Suzie, no Iwazaru Mizaru or Kikazaru ..he was screwed.

I'm going to die, I really am going to die...I am covered in chocolate...and I'm going to die.

Suddenly he saw someone in the darkness. It was Hincaru in that ninja suit again. Her hand covered her eyes and she was pointing at a door.

He ran up to her.

"Why are you covering your eyes?"

"I want to look the part...and I don't want to see you explode.."

"I would thank you if this wasn't all your fault in the first place."

Hincaru smiled and disappeared, Trowa opened the door and closed it quickly behind him. Right as he heard the door click something exploded on the other side.

He was out for real this time. He was beaten, bleeding, covered in chocolate, traumatized, and he smelled like smoke...but he was out.

One of the carnies ran up to him.

"Oh thank gosh! I'm so sorry sir, we just got the door open."

Trowa looked at him, obviously disturbed. He grabbed the carnie by the front of his shirt and made them see eye to eye.

"That place.." he said firmly, pointing at the house of illusions, "..is NOT suitable for children..." He dropped the carnie back to his feet and slowly started walking away, but to add a cherry on top of his day he stumbled and twisted his ankle.

'The key was an angel of death...I knew it.'

Slowly he started limping towards the exit. He needed to get more bullets, to regroup, and rethink his whole plan. As he passed the old control room, however, he heard a tiny voice.

"Hello...is there anyone there...?"

Slowly Trowa turned his head towards the door.

Surely not..

Slowly he walked up to the door and unlocked it, opening it quickly.

There was Quatre, sitting on the control panel.

That explains the ghost

"Trowa!!" He ran up, ready to hug him, but he stopped in mid step. "What happened to you?"

Slowly Trowa turned and looked at the house of illusions, it was almost as it was watching him too.

"Trowa...?"

"I...fell down the stairs."

"Why are you covered in chocolate?"

"I fell down the stairs into a river of chocolate." Trowa replied, acting almost proud of the lie, like it was believable.

"...yeah..." Quatre looked worried, yet tired and relieved.

Trowa took off his mask, revealing that half of his face was clean and after Quatre laughed at him Trowa grabbed his hand and started walking towards the exit again.

Until.

"Oh! Trowa look! I didn't even see that fun house! Let's go in!"

Trowa could feel the chills run up his spine. He picked Quatre up and threw him over his shoulder, and despite his hurt ankle he ran all the way home.


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Morals of this Story:
Don't let Quatre go anywhere by himself.

Always bring spare bullets.

If you see a talking key, know it is an angel of death and please avoid shooting it.

Always check the control room first.

Hincaru will always be there to make things worse!

And Most of All:

What happens in the Labyrinth stays in the Labyrinth...