Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > If Your World Should Fall Apart
A/N: thank you, lisa_lou, HellOnHigh9, ipanicdaily and fallingangel for your reviews and for reading! love you for it, and here’s chapter 4 for you guys:
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Chapter 4
Gerard was no longer on the couch, when Frank returned so he decided to go look for him. It wasn’t as if there was anything better to do besides enjoying Gerard’s company. So, Frank walked out the back door after his visit to the bathroom and landed in the garden again. There were still a few people out in the garden, and he crossed his arms in front of his chest as the cold night air quickly surrounded him. The hoodie he was wearing did little to take the edge off of the cold.
Frank walked to a more secluded spot and leaned against the wall, resting his head and allowing his eyes to close. He could feel the alcohol easing off, and the melancholy began to creep back in.
“I thought I saw you walk out here.” He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know the origin of that lovely voice, but he did so anyway, pushing himself of the wall to face Gerard, swaying slightly in the progress.
Gerard just stood there, studying his face. Frank couldn’t bring himself to fake a smile and Gerard could tell that something was bothering his friend. He also knew that he wanted to try to help him, but guessed that getting Frank to open up would not be an easy task this time.
“It’s fucking freezing,” Frank remarked suddenly, trying to break the silence and Gerard’s stare. Had he followed him, or had he just found him out here by coincidence? Probably the latter.
“Yeah.”
When Frank didn’t say anything further, Gerard spoke again.
“Feeling better?”
“What… oh, yeah… yeah,” Frank nodded quickly, looking down at his shoes, feeling the weird urge to laugh out loud.
Gerard probably thought he had been sick, since he had been drinking quite a bit before dashing off to the bathroom. Frank rubbed his arms; it really wasn’t that funny, damn it.
I would feel even better, if you’d just hug me right now, he further thought, and was completely taken by surprise when Gerard took a step forward and pulled him into his arms.
Holy shit. He could read his mind! Well, alright then: Continue with what you were doing with me on stage.
Unfortunately nothing happened. Damn. That would have been fantastic. Frank sighed into Gerard’s neck, while his head continued to rest on his shoulder.
“You alright?” Gerard asked softly.
Frank nodded, and then mumbled, “Just tired.”
“It was a cool show.”
And it was an amazing kiss. “Yeah.”
Gerard was silent the next few minutes and Frank enjoyed the proximity between them. The alcohol was about to wear off now for real, and he started thinking about the mess he was in even more. He needed this man so badly that it was making him sick. He felt like shit and worn out every time he thought about the fact that this would never happen.
Frank closed his eyes. He really had to suppress the urge to kiss Gerard. He could not keep torturing himself like this; he would just end up getting more than just fucking depressed. What were his options? Either he would tell him or – no, he couldn’t. He would risk losing everything between them…
There was no other way. He had to get over this. He knew this could never happen; it was not just some stupid crush, but fucking painful unrequited love. He knew Gerard for some time now and it was not just a… He needed to get some distance. Ignore the feelings. Yeah, that was going to work. Who was he trying to fool? But he had to try, he was fucking going to pot.
He sighed again. Distance it would have to be, he thought and felt Gerard rubbing his back gently.
-
Frank thought it would be easier to gain the endurance for his “distance-treatment”, if he drank more beer. So more beer he drank, with Mikey, slipping away anytime Gerard approached. This of course made him suspicious, but Frank wasn’t quite thinking of this. And didn’t care. The exhaustion had completely disappeared at some point, and when they found a guy with weed, the mess was complete. At three in the mourning they were lying outside on the lawn, trying to build a pyramid out of blades of grass and… failing miserably.
Every time Brian passed them, he cast a suspicious look and when he tried to persuade them to get up, they answered something like:
“Egypt wasn’t built in a day,” which was followed by giggling.
“That was Rome, dude!” More giggling, which resulted in Brian returning to the inside of the house, shaking his head in surrender.
“You think it will snow today?” Frank flipped over onto his back, looking up the dark sky.
“Dude! It’s summer! Besides, you just killed the sphinx!” Mikey said, trying to push Frank’s head away.
“Ouh! Stop that!” Frank examined his head for any injuries and then grasped a pile of
grass, “Dude, you killed my hair!”
Mikey burst out laughing, when he saw what Frank was holding up in front of his face, “That’s not your hair dude! HAHA! Oh my god… you’re so fucking wasted…” he managed to get out between his fits of laughter.
“I thought it looked weird,” remarked Frank, frowning and released the grass…right onto his face. Brushing the offending blades from his face, Frank looked up to see the amused countenance of Bob.
“Are you okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and looking from one band member to the other.
“Yeah,” they both answered with goofy grins, acting innocent. Bob rolled his eyes and turned to leave, shouting back over his shoulder, “Then get up, we’re leaving.”
“Now?” Frank questioned, leaning on his elbows and looking after Bob, who had disappeared inside the house already.
“That sucks, man,” he heard Mikey growl beside him.
They both finally managed to get up onto their feet after a few minutes of falling down and laughing hysterically each time.
“You guys coming?” Bob stuck his head out again.
Frank gave him thumbs up and they strolled to the front of the house, where they found Gerard, Ray and Bob saying their goodbyes to Brian.
“Yeah, so we give you a call, when we… whoa... how are you two doing?” Gerard caught sight of his brother and Frank joining them.
“Fuck!” Ray laughed out loud.
“I told you. Can you get them to the hotel by yourself or do you need some help?” Brian further inquired.
“Nah, that’s… alright, I guess.” Gerard said, while Ray laughed at the two figures swaying in front of them, grinning widely.
-
“Are we there yet?” Mikey whined.
“No! You just asked that a second ago…” replied Ray in an amused tone, obviously being very patient with the two of them while they walked the dark street to their hotel.
“This is boring,” Mikey continued, sighing.
“Just look up at the stars,” Bob said, while lighting a cigarette. Mikey tilted his head back to get a good look at the sky… and promptly walked off the road and into a bush.
“Whoa… what happened?” Mikey asked, looking around confusedly, still hugging the bush. Frank grabbed him by the arm, not out of concern, but because he needed stabilization during his latest fit of laughter.
“D-Dude, y-you totally… ran into the bushes!” he laughed, pulling Mikey back out on the sidewalk. The other three who had walked on ahead, stopped and turned around.
“Fucking bush,” Mikey swore, looking over at Gerard, who grinned at him.
“Here, take my hand, then you can look up while you walk.” Frank took Mikey’s hand in his and they walked past the others. Mikey resumed his stargazing, while Frank tried to get a cigarette from his pocket. The others followed, but Gerard caught up with Frank, offering his lighter. He had spent all evening trying to get Frank’s attention, but it seemed as though Frank was running away from him. Why was he avoiding him now all of a sudden?
“Thanks, man,” Frank mumbled with the cigarette in his mouth obviously avoiding Gerard’s eyes. He therefore did not notice Gerard’s light frown, while he packed the lighter and rest back in his pocket. The tingling sensation in his stomach left Frank trying to remember why he thought that staying away from Gerard was such a good idea.
“Man, I wish we had a camera,” they heard Ray say from behind, who was looking at Mikey and Frank holding hands.
Gerard joined Ray and Bob from behind again, and the group walked for about five minutes in almost utter silence, only disturbed by Mikey and Frank giggling madly at something childish every few seconds. Gerard was beginning to get pissed off at Frank’s aberrant behaviour.
“Oh look!” Frank suddenly burst out, grabbing hold of Mikey’s jacket and pointing at the parked car next to them.
“What is it?” Mikey was dragged over and found himself staring down the hood of a black Mercedes.
“The ornament,” Frank continued; his mouth was open and he could only stare at the silver adornment.
“Donlick it,” Mikey slurred, not taking his eyes off of the shiny thing either.
“I wouldn’t lick it.”
“You wouldn’t?”
He paused before answering, considering the question. He had frankly never thought of it.
“I don’t know,” Frank said groggily, as the other three guys caught up with them.
“What are you two doing?” Gerard asked.
“Not licking anything!” they shouted almost in unison. Then, turning to look at each other, they simultaneously burst out laughing, holding onto each other and the Mercedes.
Ray grinned and tried to figure out what they were laughing at.
“Man, they are so wasted,” Bob stated, shaking his head but grinning slightly himself.
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Chapter 4
Gerard was no longer on the couch, when Frank returned so he decided to go look for him. It wasn’t as if there was anything better to do besides enjoying Gerard’s company. So, Frank walked out the back door after his visit to the bathroom and landed in the garden again. There were still a few people out in the garden, and he crossed his arms in front of his chest as the cold night air quickly surrounded him. The hoodie he was wearing did little to take the edge off of the cold.
Frank walked to a more secluded spot and leaned against the wall, resting his head and allowing his eyes to close. He could feel the alcohol easing off, and the melancholy began to creep back in.
“I thought I saw you walk out here.” He didn’t even have to open his eyes to know the origin of that lovely voice, but he did so anyway, pushing himself of the wall to face Gerard, swaying slightly in the progress.
Gerard just stood there, studying his face. Frank couldn’t bring himself to fake a smile and Gerard could tell that something was bothering his friend. He also knew that he wanted to try to help him, but guessed that getting Frank to open up would not be an easy task this time.
“It’s fucking freezing,” Frank remarked suddenly, trying to break the silence and Gerard’s stare. Had he followed him, or had he just found him out here by coincidence? Probably the latter.
“Yeah.”
When Frank didn’t say anything further, Gerard spoke again.
“Feeling better?”
“What… oh, yeah… yeah,” Frank nodded quickly, looking down at his shoes, feeling the weird urge to laugh out loud.
Gerard probably thought he had been sick, since he had been drinking quite a bit before dashing off to the bathroom. Frank rubbed his arms; it really wasn’t that funny, damn it.
I would feel even better, if you’d just hug me right now, he further thought, and was completely taken by surprise when Gerard took a step forward and pulled him into his arms.
Holy shit. He could read his mind! Well, alright then: Continue with what you were doing with me on stage.
Unfortunately nothing happened. Damn. That would have been fantastic. Frank sighed into Gerard’s neck, while his head continued to rest on his shoulder.
“You alright?” Gerard asked softly.
Frank nodded, and then mumbled, “Just tired.”
“It was a cool show.”
And it was an amazing kiss. “Yeah.”
Gerard was silent the next few minutes and Frank enjoyed the proximity between them. The alcohol was about to wear off now for real, and he started thinking about the mess he was in even more. He needed this man so badly that it was making him sick. He felt like shit and worn out every time he thought about the fact that this would never happen.
Frank closed his eyes. He really had to suppress the urge to kiss Gerard. He could not keep torturing himself like this; he would just end up getting more than just fucking depressed. What were his options? Either he would tell him or – no, he couldn’t. He would risk losing everything between them…
There was no other way. He had to get over this. He knew this could never happen; it was not just some stupid crush, but fucking painful unrequited love. He knew Gerard for some time now and it was not just a… He needed to get some distance. Ignore the feelings. Yeah, that was going to work. Who was he trying to fool? But he had to try, he was fucking going to pot.
He sighed again. Distance it would have to be, he thought and felt Gerard rubbing his back gently.
-
Frank thought it would be easier to gain the endurance for his “distance-treatment”, if he drank more beer. So more beer he drank, with Mikey, slipping away anytime Gerard approached. This of course made him suspicious, but Frank wasn’t quite thinking of this. And didn’t care. The exhaustion had completely disappeared at some point, and when they found a guy with weed, the mess was complete. At three in the mourning they were lying outside on the lawn, trying to build a pyramid out of blades of grass and… failing miserably.
Every time Brian passed them, he cast a suspicious look and when he tried to persuade them to get up, they answered something like:
“Egypt wasn’t built in a day,” which was followed by giggling.
“That was Rome, dude!” More giggling, which resulted in Brian returning to the inside of the house, shaking his head in surrender.
“You think it will snow today?” Frank flipped over onto his back, looking up the dark sky.
“Dude! It’s summer! Besides, you just killed the sphinx!” Mikey said, trying to push Frank’s head away.
“Ouh! Stop that!” Frank examined his head for any injuries and then grasped a pile of
grass, “Dude, you killed my hair!”
Mikey burst out laughing, when he saw what Frank was holding up in front of his face, “That’s not your hair dude! HAHA! Oh my god… you’re so fucking wasted…” he managed to get out between his fits of laughter.
“I thought it looked weird,” remarked Frank, frowning and released the grass…right onto his face. Brushing the offending blades from his face, Frank looked up to see the amused countenance of Bob.
“Are you okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows and looking from one band member to the other.
“Yeah,” they both answered with goofy grins, acting innocent. Bob rolled his eyes and turned to leave, shouting back over his shoulder, “Then get up, we’re leaving.”
“Now?” Frank questioned, leaning on his elbows and looking after Bob, who had disappeared inside the house already.
“That sucks, man,” he heard Mikey growl beside him.
They both finally managed to get up onto their feet after a few minutes of falling down and laughing hysterically each time.
“You guys coming?” Bob stuck his head out again.
Frank gave him thumbs up and they strolled to the front of the house, where they found Gerard, Ray and Bob saying their goodbyes to Brian.
“Yeah, so we give you a call, when we… whoa... how are you two doing?” Gerard caught sight of his brother and Frank joining them.
“Fuck!” Ray laughed out loud.
“I told you. Can you get them to the hotel by yourself or do you need some help?” Brian further inquired.
“Nah, that’s… alright, I guess.” Gerard said, while Ray laughed at the two figures swaying in front of them, grinning widely.
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“Are we there yet?” Mikey whined.
“No! You just asked that a second ago…” replied Ray in an amused tone, obviously being very patient with the two of them while they walked the dark street to their hotel.
“This is boring,” Mikey continued, sighing.
“Just look up at the stars,” Bob said, while lighting a cigarette. Mikey tilted his head back to get a good look at the sky… and promptly walked off the road and into a bush.
“Whoa… what happened?” Mikey asked, looking around confusedly, still hugging the bush. Frank grabbed him by the arm, not out of concern, but because he needed stabilization during his latest fit of laughter.
“D-Dude, y-you totally… ran into the bushes!” he laughed, pulling Mikey back out on the sidewalk. The other three who had walked on ahead, stopped and turned around.
“Fucking bush,” Mikey swore, looking over at Gerard, who grinned at him.
“Here, take my hand, then you can look up while you walk.” Frank took Mikey’s hand in his and they walked past the others. Mikey resumed his stargazing, while Frank tried to get a cigarette from his pocket. The others followed, but Gerard caught up with Frank, offering his lighter. He had spent all evening trying to get Frank’s attention, but it seemed as though Frank was running away from him. Why was he avoiding him now all of a sudden?
“Thanks, man,” Frank mumbled with the cigarette in his mouth obviously avoiding Gerard’s eyes. He therefore did not notice Gerard’s light frown, while he packed the lighter and rest back in his pocket. The tingling sensation in his stomach left Frank trying to remember why he thought that staying away from Gerard was such a good idea.
“Man, I wish we had a camera,” they heard Ray say from behind, who was looking at Mikey and Frank holding hands.
Gerard joined Ray and Bob from behind again, and the group walked for about five minutes in almost utter silence, only disturbed by Mikey and Frank giggling madly at something childish every few seconds. Gerard was beginning to get pissed off at Frank’s aberrant behaviour.
“Oh look!” Frank suddenly burst out, grabbing hold of Mikey’s jacket and pointing at the parked car next to them.
“What is it?” Mikey was dragged over and found himself staring down the hood of a black Mercedes.
“The ornament,” Frank continued; his mouth was open and he could only stare at the silver adornment.
“Donlick it,” Mikey slurred, not taking his eyes off of the shiny thing either.
“I wouldn’t lick it.”
“You wouldn’t?”
He paused before answering, considering the question. He had frankly never thought of it.
“I don’t know,” Frank said groggily, as the other three guys caught up with them.
“What are you two doing?” Gerard asked.
“Not licking anything!” they shouted almost in unison. Then, turning to look at each other, they simultaneously burst out laughing, holding onto each other and the Mercedes.
Ray grinned and tried to figure out what they were laughing at.
“Man, they are so wasted,” Bob stated, shaking his head but grinning slightly himself.
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