Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Speak of the Devil (Frerard)
Okay so depending on what I'm doing tomorrow this may be the last update until I get back, so cherish it, joking.
12.
Waking up the next morning with a very adorable Gerard wrapped around me made me not want to get up. I kept my eyes shut and snuggled closer to him as he snored quietly away. I hadn't woken up once during the night, and Gerard hadn't let go of me. I had always accepted things as black and white when I was child. I could easily define what was right and wrong. There were no shades of grey for me. Gerard is nothing but a shade of grey. He has messed with my mind to the point where I'm not sure if what I have been told is wrong, is truly wrong. When things are black and white, everything is much safer. I don't have to worry about how I act, everything is simple and easy to accept. But now I have to keep reminding myself where the line is. Make sure I don't cross it. But Gerard is slowly pulling me closer towards it, and I am so afraid he'll take me all the way across. I don't know what to do without boundaries. But I think that's the point. You have to find your own way. I've never had my own way with anything. I was always just told how things had to be and in a way, that was an easy yet unhappy way to live. Things aren't so easy anymore.
Gerard stirred beside me and I did my best to pretend to be asleep. I would rather react to Gerard's actions than be the cause of them. I felt him turn his head in my direction, indicating he was obviously looking at me. Using his fingers he stroked my cheek and pushed my fringe out of my face. I didn't move and continued to breathe as evenly as possible. "Baby..." He whispered sweetly in attempt to wake me up. I slowly opened my eyes and pretended to look around confused. He smirked at me and pecked me on the cheek. "Um, morning." I muttered awkwardly. I had no idea what to say to him. I had got up in the middle of the night and crawled into his bed. What is there to say? "Morning sugar, sleep good?" He asked in a yawn. I nodded stupidly surprised he was so relaxed. "Good, now, what do you want for breakfast?" He asked while getting up. Before answering I stared at his naked chest for a little too long. "Um, pancakes?" I questioned. He nodded enthusiastically while heading up the basement stairs.
A part of me was extremely relieved that he hadn't questioned my motives as to why I wanted to sleep in his bed with him. But the other part of me wanted Gerard to wonder. I wanted him to try and get an answer out of me. But for the rest of the morning he talked his usual unusual ideas. When Mikey arrived back from Bob's I finally felt okay about leaving him and went home. For the rest of the weekend I avoided the Ways. I didn't feel like facing Gerard. Whatever was going on in my head was very tiring, and Gerard's presence always seemed to make it even more exhausting. I even managed to get out of going to church by telling my parents I felt unwell. They would never expect me to lie, not their perfect fucking Frankie. I don't think I left my room all Sunday. I stayed in bed, buried under the covers, trying to block out images of a certain criminal I know. I felt powerless to whatever was going on. I wasn't in control of myself anymore. I felt guilty and I had no idea why. My stomach felt like it was in knots. I fell asleep that night exhausted from doing nothing but thinking, knowing that tomorrow would not give me a break since I was going to be on bible camp - meaning I would be spending 24/7 with a certain Way.
We were staying at some kind of resort for schools about two hours away. We were only 45 minutes into the journey so far. There were two buses the church supplied and Gerard, Mikey and I convinced the good old Father to let us on the same one. Mikey was sitting in front of me with his iPod in. Gerard was next to me. Despite being asked several times to sit properly, he had his legs resting on the arm rest of the chair across the aisle, and his head was lying in my lap. "How long do we have Frankie?" He asked for the fifth time. "Gee, it hasn't even been an hour okay, now quit asking." I said rolling my eyes. "Geez can't a kid ask a question anymore?" He muttered to himself, but loud enough so I could hear it. I sighed and sank down in my chair. "I know let's play eye spy." Great, this is going to be one long bus trip. "Eye spy with my sexy and irresistible eye, something beginning with D." Well, I went through every freaking thing I could see that started with D. But Gerard always answered no, giggling hilariously at my frustration. I gave up after a while, I thought that whatever the word was, it would be something that you can't really see like oxygen or carbon dioxide, you know the fancy ones smart asses use. "You want to know what it was?' He asked smirking. "Yes Gee." I answered humoring him. "Dick." Well I was definitely paying more attention now. "Gerard, it's eye spy, you can't see one can you?" I asked looking around all paranoid. "Well I can't see one, but when I move my head like this." He started moving his head from side to side in my lap. "Gerard don't!" I half yelled while holding his head still. He laughed at my panicked face. "I guess you don't want to play eye spy anymore." He said through I grin, "You guessed right." Gerard continued to ask me annoying questions after that, until I dared him to remain silent for the rest of the trip, fortunately for me, Gerard can't say no to a dare. He spent the rest of the journey either sleeping or playing with my fingers.
Corey. I was rooming with Corey. We were all given a cabin that roomed two. The Way brothers were automatically put together leaving me with Corey. "Hey Frank, how are you?" He asked politely. I felt sorry for him as he stood there tissue in hand. He was dressed in brown trousers with a shirt and tie. He had his hair perfectly combed and a permanent smile fixed to his face. I glanced out the window to where I could see Gerard and Mikey attempting to drag Gerard's bag towards their cabin. Gerard was in tight black jeans and a black band t-shirt. His hair was as it always was, sticking out in every direction as if he had just had sex. Corey and Gerard looked like they were from different worlds. But they were both smiling. I realized then that Corey didn't need my sympathy. He was perfectly happy as he was, there was nothing to feel sorry about. I was the one who wasn't happy. "I'm good Corey." I said smiling at him. "How are you?"
Wake up at six am, get separated into your groups, and start whatever activity they have planned for you. Luckily I was in the group with the Ways or this would be unbearable. We have to do trust and cooperation exercises and things like that. First thing we did was an exercise where you fall backwards and trust your partner to catch you. I didn't have a problem with trusting my partner to catch me, but I had Gerard. So I had a problem with my partner simply stopping at just catching me and not going for an ass grab afterwards. Next up we had orienteering. We had to use this stupid little compass to find our way to different points. Boring shit if you ask me. We were in a four, Gerard, Mikey, Corey and I. Gerard had fun with Corey. He kept making sexual comments to me to make him uncomfortable while Mikey lead is the right way around the camp. I ended up making Gerard piggy back me for most of it, and Corey did his best not to stare at the fag and his friend. Dinner was awkward as well. People kept staring at Gerard as if at any minute he was going to punch one of them out. "Hey Gerard, does it bother you that they're staring?" I asked curiously. Gerard looked away from me and looked around at his audience. "Didn't notice." He answered me shrugging. "How could you not notice?" I asked skeptically. "They're all watching virtually everything you do, if it weren't for the fact I know them, I would think they're some kind of creepy stalker cult." Mikey laughed at what I said. "I don't know, I was kind of preoccupied with looking at something else. Too distracted to notice I guess." I nodded in response and continued eating. Unaware that Gerard's distraction that he had been looking at was me.
Night time sucked. Corey went to bed like he was suppose to and I just lay there awake for hours on end. When I finally did get to sleep, I felt like I was out for a minute when I heard the horn sound letting us know it was time to start the day. Another day of church and pray. I cursed as I got out of bed, receiving a disapproving look from Corey. And so far, that was camp.
Oh and to EndlessDark, I'm so sorry, I know you were hoping for it in two chapters, so instead I will tell you when it's going to start, chapter 14 will be Frank's first slip, and it will only get worse from there.
Raese.
12.
Waking up the next morning with a very adorable Gerard wrapped around me made me not want to get up. I kept my eyes shut and snuggled closer to him as he snored quietly away. I hadn't woken up once during the night, and Gerard hadn't let go of me. I had always accepted things as black and white when I was child. I could easily define what was right and wrong. There were no shades of grey for me. Gerard is nothing but a shade of grey. He has messed with my mind to the point where I'm not sure if what I have been told is wrong, is truly wrong. When things are black and white, everything is much safer. I don't have to worry about how I act, everything is simple and easy to accept. But now I have to keep reminding myself where the line is. Make sure I don't cross it. But Gerard is slowly pulling me closer towards it, and I am so afraid he'll take me all the way across. I don't know what to do without boundaries. But I think that's the point. You have to find your own way. I've never had my own way with anything. I was always just told how things had to be and in a way, that was an easy yet unhappy way to live. Things aren't so easy anymore.
Gerard stirred beside me and I did my best to pretend to be asleep. I would rather react to Gerard's actions than be the cause of them. I felt him turn his head in my direction, indicating he was obviously looking at me. Using his fingers he stroked my cheek and pushed my fringe out of my face. I didn't move and continued to breathe as evenly as possible. "Baby..." He whispered sweetly in attempt to wake me up. I slowly opened my eyes and pretended to look around confused. He smirked at me and pecked me on the cheek. "Um, morning." I muttered awkwardly. I had no idea what to say to him. I had got up in the middle of the night and crawled into his bed. What is there to say? "Morning sugar, sleep good?" He asked in a yawn. I nodded stupidly surprised he was so relaxed. "Good, now, what do you want for breakfast?" He asked while getting up. Before answering I stared at his naked chest for a little too long. "Um, pancakes?" I questioned. He nodded enthusiastically while heading up the basement stairs.
A part of me was extremely relieved that he hadn't questioned my motives as to why I wanted to sleep in his bed with him. But the other part of me wanted Gerard to wonder. I wanted him to try and get an answer out of me. But for the rest of the morning he talked his usual unusual ideas. When Mikey arrived back from Bob's I finally felt okay about leaving him and went home. For the rest of the weekend I avoided the Ways. I didn't feel like facing Gerard. Whatever was going on in my head was very tiring, and Gerard's presence always seemed to make it even more exhausting. I even managed to get out of going to church by telling my parents I felt unwell. They would never expect me to lie, not their perfect fucking Frankie. I don't think I left my room all Sunday. I stayed in bed, buried under the covers, trying to block out images of a certain criminal I know. I felt powerless to whatever was going on. I wasn't in control of myself anymore. I felt guilty and I had no idea why. My stomach felt like it was in knots. I fell asleep that night exhausted from doing nothing but thinking, knowing that tomorrow would not give me a break since I was going to be on bible camp - meaning I would be spending 24/7 with a certain Way.
We were staying at some kind of resort for schools about two hours away. We were only 45 minutes into the journey so far. There were two buses the church supplied and Gerard, Mikey and I convinced the good old Father to let us on the same one. Mikey was sitting in front of me with his iPod in. Gerard was next to me. Despite being asked several times to sit properly, he had his legs resting on the arm rest of the chair across the aisle, and his head was lying in my lap. "How long do we have Frankie?" He asked for the fifth time. "Gee, it hasn't even been an hour okay, now quit asking." I said rolling my eyes. "Geez can't a kid ask a question anymore?" He muttered to himself, but loud enough so I could hear it. I sighed and sank down in my chair. "I know let's play eye spy." Great, this is going to be one long bus trip. "Eye spy with my sexy and irresistible eye, something beginning with D." Well, I went through every freaking thing I could see that started with D. But Gerard always answered no, giggling hilariously at my frustration. I gave up after a while, I thought that whatever the word was, it would be something that you can't really see like oxygen or carbon dioxide, you know the fancy ones smart asses use. "You want to know what it was?' He asked smirking. "Yes Gee." I answered humoring him. "Dick." Well I was definitely paying more attention now. "Gerard, it's eye spy, you can't see one can you?" I asked looking around all paranoid. "Well I can't see one, but when I move my head like this." He started moving his head from side to side in my lap. "Gerard don't!" I half yelled while holding his head still. He laughed at my panicked face. "I guess you don't want to play eye spy anymore." He said through I grin, "You guessed right." Gerard continued to ask me annoying questions after that, until I dared him to remain silent for the rest of the trip, fortunately for me, Gerard can't say no to a dare. He spent the rest of the journey either sleeping or playing with my fingers.
Corey. I was rooming with Corey. We were all given a cabin that roomed two. The Way brothers were automatically put together leaving me with Corey. "Hey Frank, how are you?" He asked politely. I felt sorry for him as he stood there tissue in hand. He was dressed in brown trousers with a shirt and tie. He had his hair perfectly combed and a permanent smile fixed to his face. I glanced out the window to where I could see Gerard and Mikey attempting to drag Gerard's bag towards their cabin. Gerard was in tight black jeans and a black band t-shirt. His hair was as it always was, sticking out in every direction as if he had just had sex. Corey and Gerard looked like they were from different worlds. But they were both smiling. I realized then that Corey didn't need my sympathy. He was perfectly happy as he was, there was nothing to feel sorry about. I was the one who wasn't happy. "I'm good Corey." I said smiling at him. "How are you?"
Wake up at six am, get separated into your groups, and start whatever activity they have planned for you. Luckily I was in the group with the Ways or this would be unbearable. We have to do trust and cooperation exercises and things like that. First thing we did was an exercise where you fall backwards and trust your partner to catch you. I didn't have a problem with trusting my partner to catch me, but I had Gerard. So I had a problem with my partner simply stopping at just catching me and not going for an ass grab afterwards. Next up we had orienteering. We had to use this stupid little compass to find our way to different points. Boring shit if you ask me. We were in a four, Gerard, Mikey, Corey and I. Gerard had fun with Corey. He kept making sexual comments to me to make him uncomfortable while Mikey lead is the right way around the camp. I ended up making Gerard piggy back me for most of it, and Corey did his best not to stare at the fag and his friend. Dinner was awkward as well. People kept staring at Gerard as if at any minute he was going to punch one of them out. "Hey Gerard, does it bother you that they're staring?" I asked curiously. Gerard looked away from me and looked around at his audience. "Didn't notice." He answered me shrugging. "How could you not notice?" I asked skeptically. "They're all watching virtually everything you do, if it weren't for the fact I know them, I would think they're some kind of creepy stalker cult." Mikey laughed at what I said. "I don't know, I was kind of preoccupied with looking at something else. Too distracted to notice I guess." I nodded in response and continued eating. Unaware that Gerard's distraction that he had been looking at was me.
Night time sucked. Corey went to bed like he was suppose to and I just lay there awake for hours on end. When I finally did get to sleep, I felt like I was out for a minute when I heard the horn sound letting us know it was time to start the day. Another day of church and pray. I cursed as I got out of bed, receiving a disapproving look from Corey. And so far, that was camp.
Oh and to EndlessDark, I'm so sorry, I know you were hoping for it in two chapters, so instead I will tell you when it's going to start, chapter 14 will be Frank's first slip, and it will only get worse from there.
Raese.
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