FicWad

So I'm back!!! Thank you so much for your comments. They make me laugh and smile.

13.

The boat rocked from side to side and I gripped the sides of it in order to keep myself steady. Todays activity was canoeing. I should have known why Mikey was so eager to go with Corey and let me have Gerard. I was in the front trying to steer, and Gerard was in back trying to, well I don't actually know what he was trying to do. At the moment he was singing a pirate song. The boat was rocking and although there was a good chance we were going to fall in, I was too tired to care. I was laughing and screaming while holding on for my dear life. "Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum." Gerard sang loudly. When I managed to wipe the tears from my eyes I looked around to check out our surroundings. "Hey Gee?" I asked. "Yes Frankie babe?" He said sweetly. "Did you realize that we had lost the others?" I said smiling. Gerard giggled and nodded his head energetically. I started laughing hysterically with him. I think my lack of sleep and confused head was finally having an effect on me. Usually I would be panicking about something like this. Usually my mind would go on to overload thinking about all the possible ways we could fix our mistake. "Do you remember even which way we came from?" I asked. "Nu hu, I was too busy singing." He said sheepishly. I broke out into a fit of laughter again, watching as Gerard immediately started smiling. "We'll just have to wait then." I said after calming down. Gerard smiled and began his next song of 'What do you do with a drunken sailor?'

I don't know how much time had passed, but it was going to be a long wait. We were suppose to be canoeing for the whole day, and unless Mikey noticed we were gone, which wasn't likely because him and Corey were racing some other kids to finish first, they weren't going to realize we weren't there until they finished. Gerard was lying back in the boat and I was lying back on Gerard, as he told me about the time he egged his principal's car accidentally. "Gerard, how can you accidentally egg someone's car?" I asked. "You don't believe me?" He asked in a fake shocked voice. "No I don't believe you." I answered smiling. "Fine." Gerard started to rock the boat again. I squealed like a girl grabbing his legs for support as water splashed up. "Say you believe me." He laughed as he continued to rock the boat. "Say you believe me Frankie." Through gasping breaths of laughter I managed to answer him. "I believe you Gee, I believe you." He stopped rocking and we lay there without talking. Our breathing the only thing disturbing the silence. I still had my hands resting on his legs, but I decided that there was no need for me to move them. I felt as Gerard moved his hands to my hair and started running his fingers through it. What would someone think if they were to see us like this? Two boys laying on each other. One resting his hands on the others thighs and the other playing with his hair. People would think we were a couple. People would think we were in love. People would think I was gay.

I shot up straight in a panic. My chest was heaving and I felt like I was going to cry. "Frankie?" Gerard whispered in my ear. He had sat up too, leaning his warm chest on my back. I didn't answer him and continued to try and get myself to calm down. People would think I was gay. The kids at school called me a fag already. I pictured the scene of Gerard and I laying on each other again in my head. I tried to see a different way of interpreting it that didn't end in us going to hell. It was no use though. Gerard and I looked like lovers the way we treated each other. What if my parents had saw us like that? They would murder me for sure. "Frankie." Gerard was now whining. His voice sounded desperate. I looked around to see Gerard's sad face. It broke my heart to see his big round hazel eyes clouded with such sorrow. I immediately wrapped my arms around him. Forgetting about why I had been panicking. Gerard squeezed me tightly against him, almost as if he were afraid I was going to disappear. I wondered what Gerard thought of the way we acted. He was always so carefree and full of smiles. Did he ever get scared of the fact he was gay? The fact that he was going to Hell? "Gee?" I whispered. "What's going to happen to you?" He pulled back from our hug and looked up at me confused. "What do you mean baby?" "They say it's a sin Gee. That you will go to Hell for it." I felt my eyes start to get blurry from tears. "I'm gay Frankie. If being gay means going to Hell, then I guess I'll just have to go." He said while tracing my jawline with his finger. "But I don't want you to go there." I was crying now, letting Gerard see just how scared I was for him. "Don't you worry Frankie, I'll break my way in, God won't be able to resist my charm anyway. I'll have Jesus turned before you know it, and I'll be able to bother you for eternity." I smiled through my tears, picturing Gerard flirting with Jesus, he was always able to make me smile. "Now, no more crying." He said wiping my tears away. He hugged my waist and pulled me back so I was lying on him again. I felt better. Gerard wasn't going to Hell. He was going to break into Heaven and stay with me.

When we were found everyone was so concerned about us. Gerard told how we apparently got caught by a tide, nearly fell out of the boat, how I got caught on a branch which he saved me from, how he was suffering from dehydration and so on. Gerard and I even got extra desserts because he claimed that he nearly starved. Mikey didn't buy into it. Basically because he knew Gerard too well and so made him share his extra dessert. Gerard was greatly annoyed, but felt better when I gave him some of mine.

That night I couldn't sleep again. The last time I had had a good night sleep was when I snuck into Gerard's bed, and that was on Friday night. Today was Wednesday. I sat up for a little while listening to my iPod, hoping it would make me feel sleepy, but it didn't work. I moved onto to reading some of the Bible but that just made me feel depressed so I gave up on that too. I decided a walk might be good for me. Luckily the church trusted us completely and didn't keep an eye on us at night, so leaving the cabin was easy. I walked bare foot, in nothing but a t-shirt and boxers down a path to the lake. I sat at the water and let my toes dip in, shivering a little at the temperature. It was a warm night, but there was a cool breeze causing the trees to whip gently. It was so peaceful out here. I liked the silence. I lied back in the grass and closed my eyes. I still couldn't sleep but it was an improvement from my small cabin. I heard his voice muttering as he walked and I chose not to open my eyes. "Silly Frankie, falling asleep outside, what about the bugs? Silly baby. People tell me I'm the weird one." I heard him whisper to himself. I tried not to smile as he approached but his whispers were too adorable. "Frank?" I opened my eyes and smiled up at him. "Yes Gee?" "What are you doing? I thought you had fallen asleep out here." He looked so concerned with his eye brows furrowed. "I couldn't sleep." I said quietly. "Oh, you should have told me." He grabbed my hand and pulled me up off the ground. With our free hands we dusted me off and headed back towards the cabins. Instead of heading to my cabin though, Gerard took me in the direction of his and Mikey's. I didn't object, because deep down I knew that I would sleep better with him there.

I snuggled up close to him and he held me tight. "Why can't you sleep?" He whispered softly into my ear. I couldn't tell him it was because of him. That he single handedly messed with my life to the point where I can't close my eyes without picturing him in my head. "Don't know Gee." I whispered. "Yes you do." I didn't answer him. I felt him sigh beneath me and I hid my face in his neck, not wanting to look at his disappointed face. "Night Frankie." He whispered. He let his lips graze my neck for a moment too long while he delivered me his kiss good night. I returned the favor and kissed him gently on the neck too, convincing myself it was just a sweet gesture between friends. And nothing more.

Because I've been away for a week it's only fair you get at least two chapters. So chapter 14 is being posted......now.

Raese.