FicWad

Since I referred to it as Frank's 'slip' I decided that's what the chapter is going to be called. Now this is just the beginning, so don't expect sex......yet.

14.

I snuck out of Gerard and Mikey's cabin early the next morning before anybody woke, beating myself up about it the whole way to my own. Any thoughts of Gerard I tried to completely ignore. I didn't want to think about him. I decided it was better to just completely pretend that Gerard didn't exist, rather than over analyze the situation. That morning at breakfast I ate quietly, politely answering any questions directed at me. I could feel Gerard and Mikey's worried glances, but they left me alone. I was in somewhat of a trance. My eyes wouldn't focus on anything close up. They kept wanting to stare out into the distance. There was nothing going through my mind either, it was as if I was put on pause, but still going through basic movements.

It wasn't until the afternoon that I snapped out of it. We would be leaving early tomorrow morning, so today we didn't have to do any pointless activities. We were swimming in the lake I had been sitting by just the night before. In the light I could now see the water tower sitting near the edge of the lake and the life guard stands around it. Everyone was in the water laughing and splashing around. I sat on the jetty watching nothing. I could hear Gerard and Mikey's conversation with the other boys, but I wasn't really focusing on what they were saying. They were arguing with Scott and Jake, the two boys Mikey and Corey had beat in canoeing yesterday.

"Why are you even here? You're a fag!" I registered two things when I heard that sentence. One, Scott was the one who said it. Two, it was to Gerard. I felt my whole body begin to tremble while my breathing became low. I could feel a fire in my chest that was pushing to be let out and I felt like I was going to burst. I had no idea what was happening to me, but I just felt like ripping someone's head off. "FUCK YOU!" I yelled out of control at Scott. Everyone who was close enough to hear whipped their heads around at my curse in shock. I didn't take any notice. "You miserable piece of shit, you're so high and mighty with your fucking rules, but you're just scum." I growled at him while getting into the water. "What's your problem Frank? Why do you care so much about the fairy? He's disgusting." Scott said, glaring at Gerard. "I'll show you who's disgusting." I said through gritted teeth before launching myself at him.

I managed to punch him once in the stomach and once in the face before I felt someone dragging me off. I started to fight the person who had me, kicking and punching at anything and everything. I could feel the pain in my fists but the person wouldn't loosen their grip, so I hit harder. "Baby it's me, stop." I heard Gerard whisper in my ear. I immediately stopped fighting him but I couldn't stop my body from shaking. Mikey was background noise as he yelled at Scott and Jake to fuck off and everyone else to mind their own business. Gerard was yelling at them too, I could tell he was threatening them by the way his mouth was snarling, but I just stood in front of him clenching my fists. He had one of his arms around my chest still, preventing me from getting to Scott again. When they left, Gerard's face quickly softened and his expression turned to one of concern. My lip was trembling but I was in no way about to cry, I was just so angry. "Frankie?" Gerard didn't know what to say to me, he just stared at me. I felt hands on my shoulders and I tensed ready to fight whoever it was behind me. "Hey, it's just me, easy." I heard Mikey whisper to me. "Mikey, do you think they're gonna say something to Father Stan?" Gerard asked while keeping his gaze on me. "I don't know, but I'll go follow them and threaten them a little more to make sure they don't." Mikey's hand slipped off my shoulders and he made his way out of the water. I broke eye contact with Gerard looking down. It was until I did this I realized what Gerard was wearing. He was only in his swimming trunks. I was too, but when we first got into them, I wasn't exactly 'with it'. I quickly looked back up to his face, not wanting to embarrass myself. "Come on Frankie, we should get you out of the water." He finally said with a sigh. I shook my head nervously. "I, um, I'm just going to swim a little." I muttered looking over his shoulder. He nodded slowly and stood back from me. I swam around him and away from everyone. I was so tired, and scared, and angry, and sad, and..... nothing. I just wanted it all to stop. I kept swimming with my eyes closed and wished everything to just leave me alone. If this was some kind of test, I no longer wanted to take it. If this was some kind of game, I no longer wanted to play. I wished it all to be over. But when I opened my eyes and brought my head out of the water, everything was still the same.

It was the last night, so Gerard and Mikey had told some of the kids to meet in their cabin. Basically Gerard had stolen wine bottles and was sharing them round as a 'going away present.' Most of the kids were just happy to be in his company. Although he was gay, he was also a lot of fun. Mostly everyone had gone back to their cabins by now though. There was six of us left sitting in a circle talking. Gerard, Mikey, Corey and I being part of that six. I had judged Corey before I knew him, although he was a little bit of a goody-two shoes, he was a nice kid. "So." Gerard started, pausing to take another swig from his wine bottle. "How far have any of you gotten with a girl?" "Well.." Mikey began smirking. "Not you, I already know about you." Gerard said cutting him off. Corey looked away, obviously not having anything to say. One of the boys muttered 'first base', while the other asked his own question. "How far have you gotten with a girl?" He didn't ask it rudely, he just looked curious. Gerard smirked. "I've kissed some girls, but it didn't take me long to realize they're not really my thing." The 'first base boy' looked uncomfortable, while Corey looked unfazed and the boy who asked the question just more curious. "How far have you gone with a boy then?" Corey asked nonchalantly. "As far as you can go." Gerard answered in between taking a couple more swigs. I felt incredibly uncomfortable listening to this conversation. I didn't want to know Gerard had had sex with boys. But I shouldn't be surprised. Gerard is beautiful, he's probably had sex with lots of people. Corey screwed up his nose at Gerard but smiled. "Hey, don't screw your face up at me, I deliver a incredible blow job thank you very much." Corey started laughing, he had obviously drank some of the wine. "How 'bout you Frank? How far have you gone with a girl?" 'First base boy' suddenly asked, changing the subject from Gerard. I shook my head and looked down. I hadn't done anything with a girl. "What about boys Frankie?" Gerard slurred. "Nothing." I snapped at him quickly. He giggled. "That's not true Frankie, I've licked your jaw and lips before, and kissed your cheeks, and felt you up and" "Shut up Gerard, it's not my fault you're a whore." I snapped quickly. I immediately felt bad about what I said, but it seemed to shut him up. "But I'm not a.." I cut Gerard off mid sentence. "I'm going to bed." I said quickly and half ran out of the room to the safety of my own cabin.

I had been lying in bed awake when a distressed Corey came in with Mikey slumped against his shoulder. "Frank wake up! Please!" He pleaded. "I'm awake Corey, what's wrong?" Mikey appeared to be still breathing on his shoulder. "Scott and Jake came to the cabin when you left. Scott dared Gerard to climb the water tower, his so drunk Frank, he won't listen to me. He might fall. Mikey's out and you're the only other person he listens to." I felt my heart speed up but acted calm for Corey. "Okay, put Mikey to bed and I'll get Gerard, it will be okay." I said trying to believe my own words. I sprinted as fast as I could to the lake. I hated Scott so much at this point. Gerard loves a dare. Especially a dangerous one. I could see Jake, Scott, 'first base boy' and the 'questions kid' gathered around the bottom of the water tower. But Gerard wasn't on the ground with them. I slowly looked up praying I wouldn't see my criminal. I spotted him half way up, hanging on with one arm while obviously yelling something down at them. I cursed the adults, the one time I actually want them to appear they were no where to be seen and unfortunately the lake's so far from the cabins, they won't be able to hear anything, including screaming. When I reached the base I could have strangled Scott but I kept my focus on Gerard. "Gerard!" I yelled. "Come down here right now!" "Frankie baby, what are you doing here?." He yelled loud enough for me to be able to hear the slur in his words. "I came to get you! Now get down!" I screamed. "We tried to tell him Frank, but he wouldn't listen." I heard the 'questions kid' say. "It's okay, just go back to your cabin, I'll get him down, it will be okay." I said nodding quickly. "I can't come down Frankie, I have to touch the top of the ladder first, yep, that's the dare!" He was climbing higher. "Fuck!" I cursed. I looked beside me to see that Scott and Jake were still here. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Get out of here!" I screamed at them. They backed away quickly, afraid I was going to attack them again. I looked up again at Gerard. He went to put his left foot up a step but slipped. He was still holding on though, so he got his feet back on. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes, clouding my vision. All it would take is another slip and him to not be holding on properly. "Gerard FUCKING Way, come down here right now or I will never speak to you again!" I screamed through tears. I watched his figure stop. "Never?" He asked childishly. "Never" I confirmed. "Don't like that, I come down then." He started to make his way down and I held my breath, not letting it go until he reached the ground.

When he did I ran over to him. I pulled him into a hug before shoving him off and starting to yell. "What the fuck were you thinking?" I yelled through tears. "You could have fallen and died Gerard! You're so stupid!" I was shoving him the chest repeatedly. "I'm sorry Frankie." I heard him mumble. "Sorry!" I yelled sarcastically. "You're sorry! How could you have done that? What am I suppose to do if you were to die? You are such a fucking idiot! You can't leave me!" Without thinking I grabbed the front of his shirt and smashed his lips to mine. Desperation and fear fueled our kiss. I curled my fingers in his hair and his hands were on my back, pushing me against his body. Our lips moved hard and sloppily against one another. It was messy but it fitted so perfectly for Gerard and I. His lips were so soft and wet as they moved against my own. When I felt his tongue slide along my bottom lip I froze and pushed him away. I stared at his wide eyes and open panting mouth in shock. When I saw he was about to take a step closer to me I ran. I ran as fast as I could back to my cabin where I threw myself onto the bed. I began to sob loudly. I was having an internal battle with myself. I could still feel Gerard on my lips and I kept repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over in my head to God. I didn't hear him come in, but I felt him wrap an arm around my waist and bury his face in my hair. "I'm. S-sorry." I gasped between sobs. "Nothing to be sorry for baby." He whispered. "Corey's in with Mikey so don't worry. Just cry Frankie." I don't know how long I cried for. I was sobbing loud and hard for hours. It eventually turned to soft whimpers before I finally succumbed to sleep. Gerard didn't move the whole time, and he never said a word through it all. All he did was stay, silently showing he wasn't going to leave me.

So please please tell me what you thought of it. Now I'm going to go watch Hellboy, then I'm going to come back and see if anyone is showing any love. If they are, I will post chapter 15, If not, I will cry and then go watch Hellboy II. I know right, what a bitch, not posting unless someone reviews.

Raese.