Categories > Original > Humor > What NOT to do with Tokio Hotel
Cross-Dressing, Sleeping Pills, and Rainbows
1 reviewTye-dying Tom Kaulitz's dreads, scribbling on Gustav Schafer's face, and turning Bill Kaulitz into a Tranny. How fun!
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We escaped from the hotel room, laughing our asses off.
“You see Bill’s face! Ha! That was hilarious!” Katie exclaimed… “Now why did we buy the dress? And the nail polish?”
I grinned evilly, “That stuff is for after dinner. I can’t believe Whore was really gonna push you out the window, I am going to have to think of something big for that."
We all ate dinner at the hotel restaurant, and I took an emergency trip back to the bus for some of my sleeping pills. This is going to be fun.
Eventually the boys where to busy talking to each other that they were paying no attention to their food, and me and Katie, sitting in the table to their left, we attempting to fling the sleeping pills in to their drinks.
“Score one for Selena.” I whispered to myself as I managed to perfectly aim a pill into Tom’s coke.
“And Two for Katie,” She laughed to herself as she managed to pull off two pills, one in Bill’s drink and one in Gustav’s.
What we didn’t notice was the pill that missed Georg’s drink.
“Hey guys can we go to the mall again?” Me and Katie asked.
“Yeah whatever, just don’t come back with more spiders,” Bill yawned. “Gott, am I the only one who feels this tired?”
“I’m with you Bruder. I am going to bed.”
“Me three.” Spoke Gustav. Georg looked fine. That worried me, because if all of them weren’t out like lights then we were in trouble cause the plan wouldn’t work.
So Katie and I made our way to the mall, and when we got there I ran straight to the closet store that had hair dye.
“Selena, what are you doing?”
"Buying Hair Dye, why, what does it look like I am doing?”
“You’re so evil.” I nodded and laughed like a manic. The I went to pay for the dye. I won’t tell you the colors, cause you are so going to find out later.
Back at the hotel (which we made just in time, Thank Gott) The Boys were fully asleep.
“Perfection. They are out like lights.” I turned to Katie, “Got the dress?”
“You Bet.”
Objective One: Change Tokio Hotel’s oh-so-sexy lead singer, Into the Tranny he is.
“I can’t believe we are undressing our brother. That sounded so wrong.” We were working on getting Bill’s shirt off. And when we did, I turned to Katie, "Well, You finish here and I am going to go mess with the hair dye.”
Katie looked confused and as I walked away, she shouted a loud “HEY!” in my direction, barely noticing that I had left her there to take off his pants.
I was in the bathroom, while Katie suffered mental anguish, and was mixing the various hair dyes together. Then when they were complete, I made my way over to Tom’s dreads. I knew they wouldn’t be able to smell the dye, and after 16 years of living with them, I knew that Tom woke up the earliest, and never looked in the mirror before taking a shower.
I poured the various colors onto Tom’s dreads, making them a rainbow. “Oooo Rainbowy, nice work Selly.”
“Thank you Katie. You get Bill undressed?”
“Unfortunately, Yes.”
There was the famous Bill Kaulitz, laying in his underwear, about to be messed with severely.
We managed to get the dress on him and I opened a bottle of bright neon pink nail polish and began to paint the left hand of Bill’s nails, not only majorly screwing up the black and white manicure he had, but also making his nails glow, which I will admit was weird.
Katie and I were so obsessed with ruining Bill’s nails that we hadn’t heard the hotel door open and shut, nor had we counted the number of people that were in the room, cause if we had we would have noticed that one person was missing.
“WAS DE FICK ARE YOU TWO DOING!!” I turned around and noticed a very pissed Georg standing in the room. Of course with 3/4 of the band out, no one moved.
“Oh, Nothing….” I smiled innocently, “Wanna Help?” I asked and showed him the other bottle of brightly colored nail polish.
“Hell no, why would I help you with your pranks?”
“Well I thought that you would want to get back at them for the time Bill embarrassed you by making you kiss a teddy bear on stage, or how they always call you a slob, or how they also call you hobbit, or there is also the time when..”
Apparently I broke through to Georg and that one night he decided to help.
“Give me that other bottle.”
We finished Bill’s nails and then we proceeded (with Georg’s help of course) to place him in the chair in lounge part of the room and sit Bill in the chair, where Katie snapped pictures with her Cell Phone, for further blackmail purposes.
“Now for Gustav… Katie your pick.” Katie went glass-eyed for a second and then spoke.
“Sharpie fun anyone?”
“Where the hell did you get Sharpies?”
“Eh, I always have some with me.”
Let’s put it this way, Gustav’s face wasn’t very pretty after we got done with it…
Next Morning, around 9:00
“WAS DE FICK HAPPENED TO MEIN DREADS!!”
Katie and I stifled some laughter and heard the on going conversation (more like shouting) go one next door.
BANG!
I went and opened the door, just to be greeted with a very wet Tom Kaulitz and a very Pissed Bill.
“THE HELL YOU DO TO MY HAIR!” “Uh nothing we were in here all night. There is no way we could have done that, we would have woken someone up.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see a very pissed Gustav coming to join this delightful conversation.
“We have and interview today and I cannot go on TV with multicolored dreads, This better be temporary.”
“It’s not, sorry, Maybe next time you will think twice before you hit me. And Bill, You look very pretty as a girl, we even have pictures to remember it by, so if think twice, unless you want them on the internet.”
I swore I could have heard Georg laughing next door…
“You see Bill’s face! Ha! That was hilarious!” Katie exclaimed… “Now why did we buy the dress? And the nail polish?”
I grinned evilly, “That stuff is for after dinner. I can’t believe Whore was really gonna push you out the window, I am going to have to think of something big for that."
We all ate dinner at the hotel restaurant, and I took an emergency trip back to the bus for some of my sleeping pills. This is going to be fun.
Eventually the boys where to busy talking to each other that they were paying no attention to their food, and me and Katie, sitting in the table to their left, we attempting to fling the sleeping pills in to their drinks.
“Score one for Selena.” I whispered to myself as I managed to perfectly aim a pill into Tom’s coke.
“And Two for Katie,” She laughed to herself as she managed to pull off two pills, one in Bill’s drink and one in Gustav’s.
What we didn’t notice was the pill that missed Georg’s drink.
“Hey guys can we go to the mall again?” Me and Katie asked.
“Yeah whatever, just don’t come back with more spiders,” Bill yawned. “Gott, am I the only one who feels this tired?”
“I’m with you Bruder. I am going to bed.”
“Me three.” Spoke Gustav. Georg looked fine. That worried me, because if all of them weren’t out like lights then we were in trouble cause the plan wouldn’t work.
So Katie and I made our way to the mall, and when we got there I ran straight to the closet store that had hair dye.
“Selena, what are you doing?”
"Buying Hair Dye, why, what does it look like I am doing?”
“You’re so evil.” I nodded and laughed like a manic. The I went to pay for the dye. I won’t tell you the colors, cause you are so going to find out later.
Back at the hotel (which we made just in time, Thank Gott) The Boys were fully asleep.
“Perfection. They are out like lights.” I turned to Katie, “Got the dress?”
“You Bet.”
Objective One: Change Tokio Hotel’s oh-so-sexy lead singer, Into the Tranny he is.
“I can’t believe we are undressing our brother. That sounded so wrong.” We were working on getting Bill’s shirt off. And when we did, I turned to Katie, "Well, You finish here and I am going to go mess with the hair dye.”
Katie looked confused and as I walked away, she shouted a loud “HEY!” in my direction, barely noticing that I had left her there to take off his pants.
I was in the bathroom, while Katie suffered mental anguish, and was mixing the various hair dyes together. Then when they were complete, I made my way over to Tom’s dreads. I knew they wouldn’t be able to smell the dye, and after 16 years of living with them, I knew that Tom woke up the earliest, and never looked in the mirror before taking a shower.
I poured the various colors onto Tom’s dreads, making them a rainbow. “Oooo Rainbowy, nice work Selly.”
“Thank you Katie. You get Bill undressed?”
“Unfortunately, Yes.”
There was the famous Bill Kaulitz, laying in his underwear, about to be messed with severely.
We managed to get the dress on him and I opened a bottle of bright neon pink nail polish and began to paint the left hand of Bill’s nails, not only majorly screwing up the black and white manicure he had, but also making his nails glow, which I will admit was weird.
Katie and I were so obsessed with ruining Bill’s nails that we hadn’t heard the hotel door open and shut, nor had we counted the number of people that were in the room, cause if we had we would have noticed that one person was missing.
“WAS DE FICK ARE YOU TWO DOING!!” I turned around and noticed a very pissed Georg standing in the room. Of course with 3/4 of the band out, no one moved.
“Oh, Nothing….” I smiled innocently, “Wanna Help?” I asked and showed him the other bottle of brightly colored nail polish.
“Hell no, why would I help you with your pranks?”
“Well I thought that you would want to get back at them for the time Bill embarrassed you by making you kiss a teddy bear on stage, or how they always call you a slob, or how they also call you hobbit, or there is also the time when..”
Apparently I broke through to Georg and that one night he decided to help.
“Give me that other bottle.”
We finished Bill’s nails and then we proceeded (with Georg’s help of course) to place him in the chair in lounge part of the room and sit Bill in the chair, where Katie snapped pictures with her Cell Phone, for further blackmail purposes.
“Now for Gustav… Katie your pick.” Katie went glass-eyed for a second and then spoke.
“Sharpie fun anyone?”
“Where the hell did you get Sharpies?”
“Eh, I always have some with me.”
Let’s put it this way, Gustav’s face wasn’t very pretty after we got done with it…
Next Morning, around 9:00
“WAS DE FICK HAPPENED TO MEIN DREADS!!”
Katie and I stifled some laughter and heard the on going conversation (more like shouting) go one next door.
BANG!
I went and opened the door, just to be greeted with a very wet Tom Kaulitz and a very Pissed Bill.
“THE HELL YOU DO TO MY HAIR!” “Uh nothing we were in here all night. There is no way we could have done that, we would have woken someone up.” Out of the corner of my eye I could see a very pissed Gustav coming to join this delightful conversation.
“We have and interview today and I cannot go on TV with multicolored dreads, This better be temporary.”
“It’s not, sorry, Maybe next time you will think twice before you hit me. And Bill, You look very pretty as a girl, we even have pictures to remember it by, so if think twice, unless you want them on the internet.”
I swore I could have heard Georg laughing next door…
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