FicWad

A light breeze blew my hair into my face, along with Gerard's into his. It was only a few minutes since school had let out for the day. I felt so warm inside as we smiled at eachother; I just wanted this moment to freeze.

"That was so funny, today in chemistry," I told him, thinking of ways to start a conversation.

He laughed a bit, "That was deffinetly the highlight of my day. Who knew a teacher could say 'uh' sixty-four times in only a forty minute block?"

I, too, laughed, "Oh man," my cheeks began to ache from all of the smiling, "The best was when she couldn't figure out nine times nine."

I stopped laughing for a moment to let my lungs fill with air, and I heard someone shouting the name 'Amanda'.

"Um?" Gerard said, pointing.

I turned to see what he was pointing at. "What?"

"That guy's calling your name, you know," he said.

"Oh, right," I replied, remembering that I no longer had my usual name. "That's my... brother?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I think..."

Gerard gave me a funny look, "You don't know if he's your brother or not?" Then giggled.

I laughed, too, "Oh, you know. Brothers."

He nodded, "I know too well."

Sighing, I said, "I'm guessing I should probably go."

"Me, too," Gerard said. "I've got a bus to catch."

We both stood there for a second or two, just looking at eachother. He was the first to break the silence, "Well, see ya."

My heart sank. This was the only person that I really knew, even if for only six hours, and now I had to leave him for a house full of strangers. I felt sick as I said, "Yeah, tomorrow."

"You alright?" He asked.

After realizing that my eyebrows were knotted up and I was biting my lip, I relaxed my face, "Maybe. But I'm not really sure yet," I answered honestly.

"I hope everything works out," he said, starting to walk away backwards. He waved, then turned and boarded a school bus.

Behind me, someone said, "What the fuck, Amanda?"

"What?" I replied, feeling suddenly pissed. It was that brother.

"Let's go," he practically shouted, tugging my right arm as we walked toward his small red car.

"Only if you let go," I commanded him, tugging my wrist out of his grip. His face wore an expression of suprise.

"Yeesh. PMS," he mumbled.

I felt my jaw clench. "Excuse me? Now is not the time," I argued. I always got pissy when I was nervous, especially when it was because I had to act like I've been Amanda Matthews my whole life. "Oh, and you know what, buddy?" I continued, "A girl can be in a bad mood without having PMS."

"Alright, Amanda," he said, fake niceness in his voice.

I sure felt bad for Amanda if this is the kind of family she had to deal with. And I, for one, was not about to take this shit from him.

"Who do you think you are?" I asked him.

"Well, gee... I think that I'm Jake Matthews," he replied.

"Yeah, okay smartass," I snapped.

"Hm. Funny," he said, his voice harsh, "Because I'm also your ride home, and right now, you can get out and walk."

I turned to look at him, heart racing and nose scrunched. "Fuck you."

He pulled over to the curb and looked back at me. "You heard what I said."

"You heard what I said, too."

"Now I'd like to know who you think that you are," he asked calmly.

Now that I knew he was being serious, I wanted to cry. There was no way I wanted to walk home. This morning, the ride to school had been a good fifteen to twenty minutes, which would make it a good eight or nine mile walk. We just sat there, angrily staring at eachother.

"Let's go," I said, giving in and sitting back.

He was silent. "Actually, no. I told you to get out of my car."

If my sister did this to me, in my real life as Casey, my mom would have been pissed, so I pulled the mom card on him. "Do you really want mom to be pissed at you?"

"First of all," he told me, "When has that ever stopped me from doing anything? Second of all, I don't give two shits. Thirdly, who cares. Now get out."

Then I broke, and the tears came.

We were silent as I cried until he said, "That's what I thought," under his breath, put on his turn signal and pulled back onto the road.

*


I sat looking at a full moon, breathing air that wasn't mine to breathe. I had never felt more out of place and lonely in my whole life. With each passing second my sadness grew more and more. I began to feel afraid; I couldn't sleep, and it was well past midnight, the only time I could just sit and think without any interuptions. This was never a good thing.

It started with me thinking about home. My real home, as Casey Stone, back in Maine in present day. Every bit of my body was excited to know Gerard, and to know that I had a chance of us being together, if things worked out. But as much as I was happy, I was unhappy, because this wasn't the life I knew. It was just some random life that I was living, and I didn't even know why. For all I knew this was just a really strange dream, and I would wake up soon. The question was, when? Was this just a dream keeping me awake?

Tears formed behind my closed eyes. I opened them to take another look from my place on the floor. For a moment I saw my room; then I saw Amanda Matthews'. I was still here.

This filled me with relief and dread.