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Categories > Books > Harry Potter > The Dark Light Within

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• The Dark Light Within

  (#) anakhuskerfan 2009-01-12

  Another good chapter, I hope Blaise gets added to the pairing.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Cateagle 2009-01-12

  If nothing else, he's picking up quite the eclectic retinue. It will be interesting to see how this develops. I suspect Bill's tried to hide just why Fleur left and this didn't help him. Meanwhile, I suspect Albus is now realizing that he's made one too many tactical errors and is going to be a pain to deal with 'til Harry's back, or apparently back, under his control. It might be a good time to see him off on his next great journey.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) mrpietan 2009-01-12

  Honestly, I think one of the "gifts" Harry should get, is to be able to "bond" with more than one person ... like a total of 4 ... hehe .. :)

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) LordSeagen 2009-01-13

  Great chapter. I like that Harry's not going to take any shit from anyone (except is girls). I think the lord of the Light and The Lord of the Dark should be in a relatioaship. That way they will not want to kill each other (Oh wait, that may not work). Anyway, keep up the go work.
  
  LS

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) jjracer24 2009-01-13

  I don't think it was a bad chapter, nor do I think you story is too cliche. I quite enjoy your writing style and look forward to the next chapter.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Vanir 2009-01-13

  I like it. It's cliché.
  Everything in Harry Potter is, these days and he's the most clichéd of all. This story has a great mix of interesting ones. I'm repeating my previous advice: Keep the Harem down. You've added three people to the menagerie, one of them more or less directly to the Harem, and you're close to the limit for a manageable gallery. Mine grew too quick and large, and now i'm stuck in the Writer's Block From Hell. Just a warning. You need a storyBeta, i think. Someone who can give you the little pushes to move the chapters from good to great. You're very close as is, but there's always room for improvement.
  Oh, and you could make Harry a meGamorph. The ability to grow larger or denser. Just because it's scenic like hell but rather pointless.
  Doing good!
  
  Vanir

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) vasilis01 2009-01-14

  Excellent update. Keep writing.

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) Drago55068 2009-01-21

  this is my first time EVER comenting/reviewing a story. you do good work, and i like what i have read. If it is cliche, to bad for them the people that don't like it they can find a differnt story to read. as for the swearing....really if some one messed with their life that much i think they would swear just as much.(time to get of my soap box)

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) nomad062 2009-02-02

  I have to agree with the reviewer that said this story is less cliched than most. I like what I've read so far. I'd kinda like to see a Slytherin harem for Harry. Daph,Tracy and Blaise are three of my favorite women for Harry to hook up with. I do realize thats somewhat ridiculous since there is no cannon on that but hey I guess I like the Bad Girls.
  
  Hope to see more.
  Nomad

• The Dark Light Within

  (#) TxA_GunFighter 2009-05-05

  Good chapter.
  
  gunny

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