Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Living on a prayer
Living on a prayer
1 reviewIs gerard ready for what's just been landed in his path? Read and you'll find out :)!!!
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A/N: Personally I felt really hesitant about writing this because obviosly I'm female. So you know I really in a way had to gather loads of inspiration from other real life stories so I could write this but It's one of the only stories I have big ideas for...
‘Gerard, baby can I talk to you a second?’
I looked up from my art work my hands stained with blotches of colourful felt tip pen ink. Kat stood next to me her arms crossed and drawn into her body she looked anxious and a little nervous, I hope she was okay. But I have to admit I was a bit selfish when it came to my artistic ‘me’ times. I hated them being interrupted.
‘Uh, yeah honey let me just finish this yeah?’
I really hope it’s not too heavy or worrying what she wants to talk about. I mean I dunno if my brain can really cope. For the first time in ages I’ve found doing artwork mind numbing. It would be alright if I could get this stupid fuckin’ monkey and his stupid waffles to look right. I’m feeling a bit freaked though, Kat looked seriously desperate to talk to me. I guess she just knows how much I hate my train of thought being stopped when I do my art to nag me about listening to her. Fuck I love her though.
Right, yeah. I’ll just shade that bit a little darker near his beret and that should be just about it. Done. I swivelled round on my chair Kat was sitting on the bed, a beam of sunlight passing across her body from my bedroom, basement window. She looked so pretty, sort of ethereal however she still looked dead on edge about something.
‘Kat, baby, you wanted to talk?’
At that she shifted her head slightly to look at me a small hopeful smile creeping across her pink lips. Her eyes still looked a little empty and concerned though.
‘Gerard… I don’t really…know how to say it so I’m just going toblurt it out or something.’
My eyes searched her trying to pick up any hints of what she was going to say. Nope. I’m shit at that sort of thing. I gave her a loving smile to help her feel less hung up on what she was trying to tell me.
‘I’m…um, pregnant.’
Fuck. God. Shit. No. I suddenly felt the urge to cry. Why? I really well- I’m in shock I guess. I mean we’re both only eighteen and we both live with my Mom and Dad because Kat’s home life when she was living with her parents was shitty and basically we have almost no money. I mean Barnes and Noble don’t pay shit and Kat just gets tips from her waitressing job so, yeah we’re on the breadline.
I looked back at her with my eyes wide, my ‘I’m okay; I can deal with this’ cover up really was crumbling the fuck away second by second. I tried to hold the tears back, I mean Kat’s not bawling it and she’s the one who’s knocked up. But then again it takes two to tango I guess. I swear though, we were careful. I mean any safer in the sack and we would have both been wrapped in plastic.
‘Gerard…if you want to break this off now, we can. Just do it now .Not later. ‘Cos, I want to keep the baby, I know, I know that is fucking insane. Like, we’ve got no money, no house of our own but- it just feels right. I can’t…. I don’t want an abortion. It’s just wrong.’
Now I really did feel like I wanted to cry. She seriously though I would do that to her? I jumped up from my chair and sat beside her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I pulled her away from me after a few minutes. I needed for her to face me when I said what I was going to say, so she knew I was deadly serious.
‘Kat…look I’m not going to leave you. We’ll do this; we’ll work it out somehow. I mean I might have to get two jobs- three possibly. But I’ll do this with you- both of us.’
I didn’t have to think what I said through. I loved Kat and I truly meant what I said, even if I was sort of jumping in the deep end. Then again she’s jumping with me, and she has the really hard work to do, nine months of it in fact.
That night when I lay in bed next to her I thought about all the crazy, insane emotions that had gone round inside of me when she told me. And now, actually I guess, I’m excited (shit scared as well but I’ll just have to deal with it). My stomach feels a bit knotted though so maybe I’m a little anxious. One thing I’m sure of though is I feel way closer to Kat. I hope it won’t change especially after the baby is born. I’m glad how my Mom and Dad took it anyway, hell they even said they would help out with the costs. My mom was sort of shocked then seemed completely over the moon and lets just say my Dad was less hyped than my mum about it but all the same supportive.
I turned over slowly to gaze at Kat, she was sleeping peacefully. For a second I wondered what was going on inside of her. Like not just the emotional stuff but the physical stuff too. I moved my hand under the covers to touch her stomach lightly. Even though her stomach was flat like normal as she was obviously not showing at this stage I felt a surge of happiness and desire shoot through me. I never thought I would feel like that about something I never really wanted; fuck I never thought it would even happen to me. But now I feel like I had just been given a gift. Super cheesy thing to say I know, but I don’t care. Now I have a purpose, something to live for and that I did want.
A/N: Tell me what you think of the story please e.g. not realistic, i should include this or that etc. etc.
Anyway here I go blogging again about my fucked up mind. I changed therapists today to a guy. He's dead good and makes me feel less of a freak. I mean he wasn't like my old therapist who was always telling me to ground myself and be fucking mindful to stop me from being Manic.
FUCK IT. when you're manic you are manic. End of story, there is fuck all you can do really except ride it out and hope everything doesn't go too psychohyper.
So today in the world of loony Leah things have been well, pretty fucked up and speedy. If you're bipolar you know what I mean. It's half past 11 at night here in England and I don't even feel tired even though I've had my sleeping meds. Mania does that to you though. It makes you go on and on about useless crap like I am now and stops you sleeping or eating. Hey who needs cocaine to get you high when you're manic depressive?
NOT ME :) !!!!
‘Gerard, baby can I talk to you a second?’
I looked up from my art work my hands stained with blotches of colourful felt tip pen ink. Kat stood next to me her arms crossed and drawn into her body she looked anxious and a little nervous, I hope she was okay. But I have to admit I was a bit selfish when it came to my artistic ‘me’ times. I hated them being interrupted.
‘Uh, yeah honey let me just finish this yeah?’
I really hope it’s not too heavy or worrying what she wants to talk about. I mean I dunno if my brain can really cope. For the first time in ages I’ve found doing artwork mind numbing. It would be alright if I could get this stupid fuckin’ monkey and his stupid waffles to look right. I’m feeling a bit freaked though, Kat looked seriously desperate to talk to me. I guess she just knows how much I hate my train of thought being stopped when I do my art to nag me about listening to her. Fuck I love her though.
Right, yeah. I’ll just shade that bit a little darker near his beret and that should be just about it. Done. I swivelled round on my chair Kat was sitting on the bed, a beam of sunlight passing across her body from my bedroom, basement window. She looked so pretty, sort of ethereal however she still looked dead on edge about something.
‘Kat, baby, you wanted to talk?’
At that she shifted her head slightly to look at me a small hopeful smile creeping across her pink lips. Her eyes still looked a little empty and concerned though.
‘Gerard… I don’t really…know how to say it so I’m just going toblurt it out or something.’
My eyes searched her trying to pick up any hints of what she was going to say. Nope. I’m shit at that sort of thing. I gave her a loving smile to help her feel less hung up on what she was trying to tell me.
‘I’m…um, pregnant.’
Fuck. God. Shit. No. I suddenly felt the urge to cry. Why? I really well- I’m in shock I guess. I mean we’re both only eighteen and we both live with my Mom and Dad because Kat’s home life when she was living with her parents was shitty and basically we have almost no money. I mean Barnes and Noble don’t pay shit and Kat just gets tips from her waitressing job so, yeah we’re on the breadline.
I looked back at her with my eyes wide, my ‘I’m okay; I can deal with this’ cover up really was crumbling the fuck away second by second. I tried to hold the tears back, I mean Kat’s not bawling it and she’s the one who’s knocked up. But then again it takes two to tango I guess. I swear though, we were careful. I mean any safer in the sack and we would have both been wrapped in plastic.
‘Gerard…if you want to break this off now, we can. Just do it now .Not later. ‘Cos, I want to keep the baby, I know, I know that is fucking insane. Like, we’ve got no money, no house of our own but- it just feels right. I can’t…. I don’t want an abortion. It’s just wrong.’
Now I really did feel like I wanted to cry. She seriously though I would do that to her? I jumped up from my chair and sat beside her, wrapping my arms around her shoulders. I pulled her away from me after a few minutes. I needed for her to face me when I said what I was going to say, so she knew I was deadly serious.
‘Kat…look I’m not going to leave you. We’ll do this; we’ll work it out somehow. I mean I might have to get two jobs- three possibly. But I’ll do this with you- both of us.’
I didn’t have to think what I said through. I loved Kat and I truly meant what I said, even if I was sort of jumping in the deep end. Then again she’s jumping with me, and she has the really hard work to do, nine months of it in fact.
That night when I lay in bed next to her I thought about all the crazy, insane emotions that had gone round inside of me when she told me. And now, actually I guess, I’m excited (shit scared as well but I’ll just have to deal with it). My stomach feels a bit knotted though so maybe I’m a little anxious. One thing I’m sure of though is I feel way closer to Kat. I hope it won’t change especially after the baby is born. I’m glad how my Mom and Dad took it anyway, hell they even said they would help out with the costs. My mom was sort of shocked then seemed completely over the moon and lets just say my Dad was less hyped than my mum about it but all the same supportive.
I turned over slowly to gaze at Kat, she was sleeping peacefully. For a second I wondered what was going on inside of her. Like not just the emotional stuff but the physical stuff too. I moved my hand under the covers to touch her stomach lightly. Even though her stomach was flat like normal as she was obviously not showing at this stage I felt a surge of happiness and desire shoot through me. I never thought I would feel like that about something I never really wanted; fuck I never thought it would even happen to me. But now I feel like I had just been given a gift. Super cheesy thing to say I know, but I don’t care. Now I have a purpose, something to live for and that I did want.
A/N: Tell me what you think of the story please e.g. not realistic, i should include this or that etc. etc.
Anyway here I go blogging again about my fucked up mind. I changed therapists today to a guy. He's dead good and makes me feel less of a freak. I mean he wasn't like my old therapist who was always telling me to ground myself and be fucking mindful to stop me from being Manic.
FUCK IT. when you're manic you are manic. End of story, there is fuck all you can do really except ride it out and hope everything doesn't go too psychohyper.
So today in the world of loony Leah things have been well, pretty fucked up and speedy. If you're bipolar you know what I mean. It's half past 11 at night here in England and I don't even feel tired even though I've had my sleeping meds. Mania does that to you though. It makes you go on and on about useless crap like I am now and stops you sleeping or eating. Hey who needs cocaine to get you high when you're manic depressive?
NOT ME :) !!!!
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