Categories > Books > Harry Potter > If Wishes Were Hippogriffs
Tommy Gaunt
7 reviewsTommy is rescued from his enchanted sleep by his own personal princess. Voldemort makes a last, desperate move.
5Original
Reviews
If Wishes Were Hippogriffs
(#) DJ32 2009-01-18
Great fic thanks for writting. One question why only two if the Griff chasers? A scond question who is Patricia Stimpson? Any way great story & thanks.Author's response
Thanx for the review and the encouraging words.
Only two Griff chasers so that there will be someone for the other boys of Hogwarts to chase after (without danger of losing their protruding bits).
Patricia Stimpson is a minor character who was only mentioned briefly as having a clinical case of test anxiety - I just fleshed her out a bit for my story.
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(#) zicou 2009-01-18
Awesome!
Continuue,
Z.Author's response
OkaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyIf Wishes Were Hippogriffs
(#) greatniz 2009-01-18
Great story. keep it up
Not the years, its the mileage. niceAuthor's response
Thanx, yeah, you know you're gettin old when you sit down to breakfast and hear the sounds of snap, crackle and pop and realize you haven't yet poured milk on the Crispies.
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(#) Wonderbee31 2009-01-19
Very good, and was something to see Tom reedeemed, something that doesn't happen very often, as well as Ginny having her personal demon exorcised, and always makes me wonder if there might have been something left behind when diary!Tom was whipped the first time. I was glad to see that the two of them grew up together in the dream world before they consumated in the physical, as it helped me understand theiur relationship. Got to say, duble Tom is sure out to cause his last blowout, and found myself wishing that he'd just have choked and save so much trouble for himself and everyone else.Author's response
Thanx, as always, for reading and reviewing.
Yep, to paraphrase Jessica Rabbit, “Tommy’s not bad; he’s just drawn that way.”
Harry would be good for Ginny, but she’s not the best match for him.
Don’t even get me started on Hermione and Ron.
PULEEEZE!
The Dork Laird calling on Abaddon was the last act of a desperate homunculus – it’s not going to end well.
I guess you could, for expedience sake, just remove the last paragraph or two from this chapter, have Voldemort choke on the fishbone, and do a write-in ending, “Finis!”
Nahhh. As the Dark Uber-lord has been known to say, “Sometimes you have to choose between what’s easy and what’s e-vile!”
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(#) morriganscrow 2009-01-19
A most entertaining read - as always - interesting way to "save" Tom, and fun for Ginny too, without inflicting her on Harry!Author's response
Thanx.
Always glad to see I'm not the only one who saw Harry and Ginny as mismatched.
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(#) bgoldnyxnet 2009-01-29
OK, now I'm glad I stuck with this despite the problems with the writing. This is the most original solution to the problem of Tom Riddle that I've ever read. Even more so than "Be Careful".
The writing... Getting past the spelling and grammar, which are arguably not the fault of the author (dyslexia), the real problem is writing like:
> Helena, like most mothers-to-be, had been a little concerned that Harry wouldn't take to fatherhood, after all, her father had barely given her the time of day as she was growing up, but that was then and this was now and her husband would definitely be a "hands on" dad. She practically glowed seeing how much he loved their little Lily
> Harry, for his part, was having so much fun with his daughter he'd almost forgotten the other reason for his visit, "Do you remember anything about your mum's diadem?"
---
> Winky, First Nanny to the House of Potter was happier than anyone had ever seen her as she prepared the nursery for its first two occupants. "The Mummies is needing resting soon and then Winky is taking care of the littlest Potterses."
The problem here is the difference between _telling_ the reader something happened, and _showing_ the reader.
Let's try a small rewrite on those three paragraphs.
Helena sighed with relief. "And here I was worried that Harry wouldn't take to fatherhood," she thought.
"The way you love Lily seems like a miracle to me, Harry. My own father barely gave me the time of day when I was growing up."
"Oh, I'm going to be a 'hands on' dad," Harry cooed as he rocked back and forth with his daughter on his shoulder. "Hey, did you know you're glowing, almost literally."
"Oh, I almost forgot... Do you remember anything about your mum's diadem?"
---
Winky smiled as she prepared the nursery. "This is so wonderful, Winky could just cry! Two little babies to take care of, and more to come. So much for Winky to do. But right not the Mummies is needing resting. And then Winky is taking care of the littest Potterses. You'll see, she'll make sure they're the happiest babieses you ever saw."
Also, if the author has trouble with correct spelling and grammar, that's what Beta readers are supposed to be for.Author's response
Thank you, truly, expect to see a slight re-write of this chapter in the near future. You’re right, of course, “show, don’t tell” should be engraved and gilded on every author’s desk. Now if I could just attract and keep a decent beta reader. . .
One more chapter to go, then I’m working on the rewrite for GuitarGurl’s original Battered Hearts fic.
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(#) TxA_GunFighter 2009-05-07
Good chapter. Very good story and very well done. Not into the smut parts but can skip over them. Very good story.
gunnyAuthor's response
Thanx Gunny,
There is less smut in the later chapters. If you like my stuff, there are 'sanitized' versions over on FFN.
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