FicWad

A/N--- So you're probably going to totally hate this chapter. I couldn't help it though; I totally had a dream about it last night (creepy; I know). So...yeah....you know me and drama xD

xoxo Tabi

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Ch.20----What Have I Done? (Poor Jack Nightmare Before Christmas)

Frank's POV

I sat on the bathroom floor, my knees pulled to my chest and my face buried in them as I cried. I couldn't believe what had just happened. What the fuck is he trying to do? The bathroom door was locked so no one could get in; so Gerard couldn't get in. I mean, he's asleep still right now and I have to be cautious of how loud I am because I want him to stay asleep. I don't want him to find me; to find out what I did. I'm a horrible boyfriend.

But, it's not totally my fault. Yes, I could have denied it but I didn't. And now, now my mind is spinning and I feel so lost; lost and confused and like a traitor. I betrayed Gerard; betrayed the trust he may have put in me. I'm supposed to helping him but what did I do? I went and really fucked everything up. Still, it's not entirely my fault. Right?

I didn't just feel like I betrayed Gerard, but I felt betrayed. I don't know what the fuck he was thinking; what I was thinking. He's my best friend! I yelled at myself the entire time; but I didn't stop. He's Gerard's little brother! I still didn't stop. He was there, and he wanted it. He asked me; he told me to do it. And I did. I shouldn't have. I really shouldn't have. But I did; and I can't change that.

I fucked Mikey and now I'm turning into the very person I longed so desperate to escape. I'm becoming the old Gerard. And now I don't know what to do; what to say. Because "Gerard, I just fucked your little brother" won't go over real well. So for now, I'll sit here and cry. Trying to erase the memory; erase the feeling. My only thought was wrapped around Mikey.

What is he trying to do? He's mean, then really nice, now getting me to cheat on his brother? I can't help but wonder what his true motives really are.

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Gerard had fallen asleep and I knew Mikey was still coming over but I didn't want to wake Gerard so very carefully I pried his arms off me then lifted his head from my lap, sliding out from underneath him, and replacing his head with a pillow. I kissed his forehead then left my bedroom, quietly shutting the door and going to the front door, unlocking it, then going to the living room to wait for Mikey. Maybe we could just hang out for a bit since both of us were now awake. But the important thing was I got Gerard back to sleep; to a peaceful sleep. I was so worried when he was screaming then sweating and running such a high fever. He really got worked up by his nightmare.

I turned the tv on and turned the volume down just enough to hear it from the couch but not enough to hear it anywhere else. At two am the only thing likely to be on is infomercials so I decided to stick in a movie. 'Dawn of the Dead' was the first thing I grabbed so I popped it into the dvd player then fell onto the couch; lying down on it actually. My eyes were heavy and I needed sleep but I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. With my legs extended across the couch, I stuck my right arm over my stomach while my left one sufficed as my pillow. Since I had been sleeping, I was in nothing more than my boxers. But Mikey has seen me like this before. I mean, we used to live on the fucking tour bus. Plus, I always sleep in just my boxers.

The door opened a few minutes later and I saw Mikey. I half waved to him and smiled before turning my attention back to the television. "How is he?" Mikey asked me as he took off his shoes and coat to come join me in the living room.

"He's asleep. His fever is pretty much gone." I said, still looking at the television.

"Move." Mikey told me. He was implying the fact that he wanted to sit down.

"No." I responded. "I'm comfortable." I gave him my usual cocky grin. Mikey rolled his eyes and sighed.

"Come on Iero. Move your ass." Mikey half whined. I still didn't move my legs. So Mikey sat harshly down on my legs. I half yelled half laughed as his bony but collided with my legs. "Be quiet or you'll wake Gerard." Mikey told me a little sternly as he made himself comfortable.

"You're hurting me!" I said, biting my lip to keep myself from laughing hysterically.

"I told you to move and you wouldn't." Mikey responded with amusement, turning his attention to the movie now. "So now I'm going to sit on you."

"But your ass is nothing but bone and it hurts!" I whined quietly. Mikey shrugged then crossed his arms, occasionally moving just to send pain through my legs. It wasn't long before they started to go numb. "Move yourself so I can sit up then."

"No." Mikey told me as he continued to watch the movie we've probably seen more times than we can count. It's not like we don't know what's going to happen; or what the characters are going to say for that matter. I managed to move my legs slightly; throwing Mikey off balance. "Stop it!" Mikey said with a small smile as he repositioned himself. "I'm watching the movie."

"Well get off me so I can go to bed." I told Mikey. He shook his head and continued to sit on me. "Come on Mikey. G'off." I whined with a little aggravation now.

"Make me." Mikey responded as though he was a five year child. I sighed and yanked my feet forcefully from underneath him; causing him to fall onto the ground. I sat up, laughing as quietly as I could, and watched him rub his head as he sat back up. "Asshole!" He whined.

"I told you to move." I said with a slight shrug. "You wouldn't."

"Yeah well now you're going to pay." Mikey said with a grin before he suddenly attacked me. He started jamming his fingers into my sides, knowing how annoyingly ticklish I am. I was laughing and somewhat crying from it. "Don't wake up Gerard!" Mikey told me as he continued to jab me.

"Then stop!" I managed to get out between my hysterical laughter. "You know I'm ticklish!"

"Exactly!" Mikey said with a smile. He was now straddled over me as I laughed since I had fallen down on the couch again. I should have known something wasn't right but I was more focused on attempting to breathe and not make too much noise so I wouldn't wake up Gerard. "Do you surrender?" Mikey asked.

"Never!" I choked out. I don't ever give up a fight. I should have though. Because things really got out of control. Next thing I knew, Mikey's mouth was pressed against mine. He was kissing me. "M-Mikey....?" I said into his mouth, all amusement and laughter quickly leaving me. "W-what are you doing?" I asked when he pulled away.

"Kissing you." He replied as though it was nothing at all.

"W-why?" I suddenly wished I was back in the bedroom with Gerard still on me. It's one thing for Mikey to do this at all but to do it when his brother, my boyfriend, is in the other room?! That's ridiculous. "I'm dating Gerard."

"Are you?" Mikey asked as though he didn't believe me.

"Yes!" I told him quickly. "Gerard and I are back together. Isn't that what you wanted?!" I was nervous and over all nauseous as this point. I couldn't believe what Mikey was doing. I mean, he's supposed to be my best friend. He's Gerard's brother! How could he put us all in this situation?

"We won't tell him." Mikey whispered before kissing me again. The worst part of this all, was that I enjoyed it. For whatever reason I liked having Mikey's mouth against mine. My only conclusion was because when I first met Mikey, I fell for him. But he told me that he didn't like me back, not like that at least, so I pushed it from my mind. Sure I would sometimes fantasize about it but that all died when Gerard and I started dating. Still, I always wondered what it would be like. Now it's happening; and I want it all to be over.

"You have Alicia!" I pushed his face away from mine. "I have Gerard!" I pulled myself up a little. "This is wrong Mikey!"

"I know you want it Frankie." Mikey said, staring at me like a cat watching a mouse. My heart began to race and I wanted to get away from him. But I wasn't going to yell for Gerard or something because one, he needed sleep, and two, I kissed Mikey back at one point. He couldn't learn I cheated on him with his brother; not this way. Not to find Mikey straddled over me while I'm in nothing but my boxers. "You've wanted it for years."

"No, not anymore." I said a little harshly. I had no idea why he was pushing it. It was like he did want Gerard and I apart. Mikey's really confusing me now. He's a royal asshole to me, then he apologizes, then becomes my good friend again, and now he's seducing me away from his brother? Unfortunately I can't put up much resistance because he's right. That part of me deep down that's always wanted him is starting to surface. "Please leave."

"Look, this is nothing more than a friendly gesture. I know you need it. You've gone what, a year without enjoying yourself? I know my brother isn't doing anything anytime soon either." Mikey's hands moved to my boxers; brushing against my growing erection (against my will for the record). "We won't tell anyone."

"That doesn't make it right!" I told Mikey. "I-I can't."

"Alicia and Gerard will never find out." Mikey whispered, pressing his hands down on me a little. I bit my lip to keep myself silent because my body was responding to his touch. It was my mind that was resisting; my heart was. They knew it was wrong, but my body wouldn't listen. It was giving into Mikey; I was giving into Mikey. "I've always liked you Frank. I was just too shy to say anything. That's why I denied it when you asked me. But then you started going out with Gerard and I saw how happy he was so I knew I could never have you."

"Then why are you doing this now?!" I was almost crying. In a way it felt like rape; in another way I was begging him to touch me again because he was right. It has been awhile; too long. But I can't ask anything of Gerard; not yet. He's still recovering from the accident; still regaining his memory. I am capable of waiting but Mikey's touch, gentle and almost needing just plunged my body down the wrong path. Because I went so long, I needed it; I couldn't fight it. No matter how much I wanted.

"Because I know you need it and I've always wondered." Mikey's hands slid up the bottom of my boxers and rested on my thighs. I gripped the couch tightly; shutting my eyes and biting really hard on my lip. I was trying to resist; I was losing. "I could sometimes hear you in my brothers room. You sounded so happy."

"Because I was with Gerard!" A tear or two did roll down my face, mainly because the tension I was feeling was growing; was hurting. "Please don't Mikey. I love you like a brother. This-this isn't right. I can't do this to Gerard."

"Think of it as nothing more than releasing your tension." Mikey said as he began to slowly and deeply rub my thighs. My body responded to his touch almost as quickly as it did to Gerard's. They were two different people; brothers. But my body longed for both of them and I couldn't stand it. What we were doing was wrong; but I didn't have the will to actually make Mikey stopped. I wanted it; and he knew it.

"Just-" I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut as his hands slid out of my boxers then towards the elastic of them. "D-don't tell anyone." I whispered almost inaudibly. My body was too far to calm down without something being done first. I needed him now.

"Of course not." Mikey whispered as he bent down and kissed my cheek.

"Don't kiss me on the lips." I told him sternly. "That's for Gerard only." Even though Mikey had already kissed me, I didn't want him to do it anymore.

"Fine." Mikey replied, his hands now going down the top of my boxers. "What do you want Frankie?" He asked me as his hands slowly moved up and down my pelvis. I let my body fall against the couch in defeat; trying not to cry. Because like I said, this felt like rape in a way but it was far from it. I wanted Mikey; I just didn't want to want Mikey. But I did and I couldn't deny it. I've been wanting him for years. The problem is, I want Gerard too. I can't have both though. Gerard wants me; and here I go fucking it all up. But I didn't stop Mikey.

"Fuck me." I told him a little too eagerly. "Please."

"Of course." Mikey said as he pulled himself farther down the couch. He grabbed the elastic of my boxers again and started to pull them down. I raised my pelvis to allow him to do so. When they were off and I was completely naked, Mikey got up then quickly pulled his pants and boxers down before getting back on the couch. He stuck his fingers in my mouth and I quickly covered them with my saliva; desperate to just get it over with. I needed him, I wanted him, and I wanted it done. I felt horrible as it was.

Mikey pushed my legs apart slightly and slid one of his fingers in. Pushing and pulling it out a little before sliding another finger in. My regret was temporarily covered by pulsing ecstasy and relief that flooded through me because I did need it. I needed the release so bad. My breathing started to quicken as my heart began to race a little faster. Mikey slid a third finger in and began scissoring; making sure I was prepared to take as much pain away as possible. When all his fingers were pulled out, he pushed himself into me and I clenched my jaw tightly shut to keep myself silent because it felt so good. Wrong, but so fucking good.

"Farther." I told Mikey as he pushed into me. I wrapped my legs around his waist to pull him in as far as he would go; our hips connecting before he started to pull out some. He pushed back in again, angling his thrusts a little to find that special spot. That spot that could really make me scream. I wondered if Mikey had done this before because he knew exactly what to do; and was good at it. "Faster Mikey." I told him so he increased his pace. That's the one thing I will always have with just Gerard; the teasing. The love. This is no more than sex. Gerard and I don't have sex; we make love. I could never do that with Mikey because I don't love him like I love Gerard.

Mikey started slamming into me faster and harder; my whole body tingling with ecstasy. His hand wrapped around my leaking erection and began to pump it in sync with his thrusts. He wasn't Gerard, but the feeling was just as amazing. Different, but amazing. "Fuck...Frank..." Mikey gasped out as he continued. "Fuck...I'm gonna..."

"Do it." I gasped out at him. Mikey managed to find that spot; slamming into it a few times before releasing inside me. After a few more pumps, I came on his stomach as well as mine. Mikey rocked his hips a few more times then pulled out, breathing heavily. That was another thing that Gerard and I would always have. We were like a puzzle; we fit. We could cum at the same time. Mikey and I were like puzzle pieces that were similar, but didn't go together. We would fit if we were forced, but we didn't belong. Mikey licked up the cum on my body; sucking lightly on my dying erection before falling backwards onto the couch while still breathing heavily.

I laid there for a few more minutes, calming myself down while warm tears drifted to my eyes. I couldn't believe what I had done. I betrayed my boyfriend; my love. The only person in the world I would do anything for and give anything for; I betrayed him. I cheated on him. But not only did I cheat on him, I cheated on him with his little brother.

Trying not to cry, I sat up and grabbed my boxers then got up and went to the bathroom where I slid them on and then fell to the floor with my back against the door. I never heard the door open or shut so I knew Mikey must have fallen asleep on the couch.

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I got up and wiped my eyes, blinking them a few times to clear the fuzzy watery sight I had. I opened the bathroom door and walked to the living room where Mikey was sleeping on the couch. I picked his clothes up and threw them at his face; waking him up. "Get out of my house. Don't ever return and don't ever call me again." I said coldly, bitterly, and angrily at him. He knew I was with Gerard. He knew that I wouldn't be able to resist because I needed it. He seduced me and he knew exactly what he was doing.

"Frank, I-"

"Out Way!" I yelled at him, wiping my eyes again. "My life was fucked up enough! I didn't need that to happen! You're not my friend Michael! Now get the fuck out before I call the cops." He stared at me, looking like he wanted to cry, but then pulled his clothes on and went to the door to leave. I couldn't even look at the couch without wanting to cry; wanting to be sick.

I went to the bedroom and saw my beautiful angel still sleeping on bed. I crawled onto the bed and curled myself up as close to him as I could get. I don't deserve him. He deserves so much more. I'm a horrible person. Gerard is so perfect; even if no one else thinks so. They shouldn't because he was perfect for me. I completely screwed everything up. Yet again I lost my best friend; if I could even call him that now. I was going to lose my boyfriend again because he would have to know. I pressed my face into his shoulder and cried myself to sleep.

What have I done?