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Ch.21---- Detox Just To Retox ((Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes Fall Out Boy))

Frank's POV

I must have cried myself to sleep because when I woke, I was still curled up in the bed. Only, I was alone now. Gerard had woken up and left; covering me with a blanket and sliding a pillow under my head. I had an incredible headache and my eyes still stung. My heart stung even more though. I would have to tell Gerard what happened. It was all a huge mistake but I'm still at fault for letting it happen. So my boyfriend has to know that while he was asleep, I had sex with his brother. That's all it will ever be. Still; it happened.

When I sat up, I became lightheaded and dizzy. I stayed completely still until the room stopped spinning. Carefully and slowly I pulled myself to the edge of my bed and swung my feet over the edge. I pushed myself off the bed and stood up with my eyes shut until again the dizzy feeling left me. Once balanced, I left my room and headed to the living room where I found Gerard, on the couch, watching television. One hand clutched my head in an attempt to relieve the pressure as I walked towards him. "Hey Gee." I mumbled.

"Hey Frankie." Gerard replied with a smile. "You ok?" He asked with concern. "When I woke up you looked like you had been crying at something." My heart started to pick up a little more. I had to tell him and I knew it; but when? I should do it now but I already feel like shit. The last thing I need is for Gerard to be pissed. I know I fully deserve too but the peace is nice.

"I have a really bad headache." I mumbled, rubbing my head.

"Awww, poor baby." Gerard said, grabbing my dangling hand and suddenly pulling me onto his lap. I rested my head against his shoulder, pulling my legs up onto the couch with my knees pressing into my chest. Gerard wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around my legs as though he was going to carry me. "Do you need anything?" He asked quietly, kissing my head.

"Just you." I replied, shutting my eyes and slowly inhaling; taking in his scent. That may sound creepy but it's relaxing and soothing to just feel him and know that's he's there; for now.

"Well that I can do." Gerard said with a little amusement. "Sure you don't want some Tylenol or something though?" His voice was still concerned and worried. I wanted to just crawl in a corner and die because after being beaten, lied to, and even cheated on, the Gerard I fell madly in love with was back. I've begged God for this for years. Now, God finally decided to listen and give him back. How do I repay God? I fall into temptation and completely fuck it up. God supposedly knows our futures. He must really hate me to place the best thing before me only to know I would fuck it up.

"Tell me a story." I told Gerard. I wanted to hear his voice before I tell him about last night and completely loose his happy tone. I'll savor it. "Just; whatever comes to your mind. Please."

"Ok, well, once upon a time there was this obnoxious, rebellious teen. He was always loud and unafraid to be himself. At first I was a little afraid of him, then I became very nervous around him, but in the end I fell deeply in love with him." I smiled as Gerard recited the past to me. "After a long and awkward year of just being his friend, I finally confessed my love to him to learn that he loved me back. I couldn't have been happier. But I became blinded and took advantage of his unconditional love for me. I didn't stop myself though because I would tell myself that he loved me. And he did; he does. But I started to abuse our relationship. Still, for whatever reason, he chooses to stay with me and to love me. So the only thing I can do is love him again and make sure he never gets hurt again." I couldn't help myself and I began to cry again. I wanted so badly to rewind last night so I would never have called Mikey. "Frank, what's wrong?"

"I fucked up." I told him. "You deserve so much better."

"No;" Gerard told me quietly as he kissed my head again. "You deserve more. After everything I've done to you and you still waste your time, your love, on me? You're a god." I managed to smile slightly. "Now, I'm going to get you some Tylenol and you're going to relax for the rest of the day." Gerard carefully lifted me from his lap and set me on the couch. He got up and disappeared into the kitchen, returning a few minutes later with a glass of water. Gerard gave me the water then two small white pills which I stuck into my mouth then used the water to help get them down my throat. "Now lie down." Gerard told me a little sternly as he took the cup back to the kitchen. I obeyed and laid down.

Gerard returned and lifted my shoulders up, sitting down and laying my head on his lap. He began to gently running his fingers through my hair. As much as I wanted to tell him what happened, I couldn't. This was so sweet and so perfect. Gerard was so concerned about me; worried about making me feel better. "Oh, I forgot to tell you that Bob called and asked if we wanted to hang out tomorrow to meet his daughter. I told him sure because I didn't want to wake you to ask."

"Ok." I mumbled, already starting to fall asleep. "Gee?"

"Yeah Frankie?"

"I love you."

"I love you too babe." Gerard replied with a little laughter before I drifted off to sleep again.

"Hello?" I asked weakly.

"Frank?" Gerard's worried voice filled my ear. "You ok?"

"'m sick." I told him, falling against my pillow and shutting my eyes.

"Are you going to be ok all alone? I mean, I could make Mikey go chill with you for the day." I smiled at the fact that he was so worried about me. What a good boyfriend.

"I'm just going to stay in bed all day." I told him. "Can I go now?"

"Yeah; you get some rest, ok babe?"

"Will do." I mumbled. "Bye Gee." I slid my phone shut and let it fall to the floor. I turned onto my side and yanked the blanket securely over myself; pulling my knees to my chest. My eyes remained heavy and in no time I was out again.

+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+x+

I woke up and saw two beautifully concerned eyes staring at me. "What are you doing here?" I asked him sleepily.

"You're sick and need someone to take care of you." Gerard said, one hand sliding out from underneath his head and to my face where it gently stroked my skin. "Frankie, you're really warm." Gerard told me with a worried frown.

"Yeah well I'm freezing." I replied, holding tightly to my blanket. Gerard put his arm around me and removed the other hand from under his face, pulling me closely to his body and wrapping his arms tightly around my; kissing my forehead.

"I'll keep you warm." He whispered softly to me.

"Gee, I don't want you to get sick." I mumbled into his chest.

"I'll get sick if it means you get better." Gerard said quietly.

"Shouldn't you be at college right now anyway?"

"That's why I called you this morning. I'm home for the next few days and I wanted to see my adorable Frankie." Gerard kissed my head again. "And I wanted to make sure you weren't seeing someone else." There was amusement in Gerard's voice.

"No one could replace you." I closed my eyes again.

"Oh, so now you're trying to replace me huh?" Gerard asked with more amusement. "Geez Frankie; I've only been at college for a few months. I come home whenever I can. Hell, I even blow off my family just to have time with you." He was in no way mad or upset. Just trying to make me feel better by joking around.

"Well you're not around and those hot, eager boys come after me. What am I supposed to do? I have needs you know." I teased him back but I was exhausted so it didn't sound all that great. "If you hadn't fucked me you'd be safe but now-"

"Hey Iero, that was your idea." Gerard told me a little seriously. "To think I've been loyal around all these college boys..." I smiled but then started coughing. "Just relax." He whispered as he gently started to rub my back. "I'm here to take care of you now. And I won't leave until it's time for your mom to come home."

"You're only twenty two."

"And you're only seventeen." Gerard reminded me. "Few months and you'll be eighteen. After that we can be caught in bed together."

"It's not like we're going anything though. I'm fucking sick right now." I said miserably before coughing again.

"You know what you need Frankie?"

"Hmm?" I mumbled.

"You need a nice hot shower. The steam will help you breath better." Gerard replied while sitting up. I moaned at the fact that I lost my pillow (aka Gerard's shoulder) and the fact that I wasn't in his arms anymore. "Come on." Gerard pulled me up then slid off the bed, hauling me into his arms then carrying me from my room to the bathroom. I never knew Gerard was this strong. I know he holds me rather tightly sometimes but I never knew he could pick me up let alone carry me. I'm not fat but Gerard's like nothing himself. We weigh about the same.

"Take me back to college with you." I told him as my arms wrapped around his neck.

"I would love to but if hot high school boys chase after you, I'm definitely not risking college boys." I laughed a little as he set me on the sink in the bathroom after he turned the light on. Gerard shut the door then walked to the tub, turning the water on. As it warmed, he walked back to me. "Are you stripping yourself or am I?" I just smiled at him so he shook his head a little then slid his hands to the bottom of my shirt, pulling the bottom up and kissing me once the fabric was free from my body. I usually just sleep in boxers but because I've been so cold, I kept myself fully dressed.

"You're a spoiled brat, you know that right?" Gerard asked as he worked on getting my pants off.

"But I'm your spoiled brat." I replied with a small smirk. I was so exhausted that I was ready to just fall asleep again. Gerard got my pants off then pulled me off the counter so I was standing. He put his fingers around the elastic of my boxers then slid them down as well. He knew this was no time to be sexual; no matter how much either of us may have wanted it. I just didn't feel good.

Gerard went back to check on the water, pulling the little knob to send the warm liquid through the tiny holes of the shower head now instead of the large faucet. "In." Gerard told me but I stood still. He sighed, smiling still, and came back to me. Gerard lifted me over his shoulder then carried me to the bathtub where he stuck me under the warm water. It actually did feel really nice."Stand here for awhile." He instructed as he pulled the curtain shut.

"You're not coming in?" I whined because I loved taking showers with Gerard (always at his house of course).

"I have other things to attend to." Gerard told me. "Just stand under the water and don't fall asleep. Take deep breaths too because the moist air will help." I still whined some but Gerard left the bathroom and left me alone. So I did what he told me and stood under the water, taking deep breaths. He really was right. The steam was making it slightly easier for me to breathe, I didn't have the urge to start coughing, and the warm water took away the slight shivering my body was doing from being cold. He's so good to me.

After a good ten minutes at least, I heard the door open. "How ya doing?" Gerard called to me.

"I feel better." I told him. I heard him laugh a little as he shut the door then came back to the shower. Gerard shut off the water and grabbed a towel from the shelf; running it roughly over my head to dry my hair then wrapping it around my body. The air was still heavy and warm which felt nice.

"Well now you have to get out." He said as he securely wrapped the towel around my waist. I frowned but stepped out of the bathtub and stood next to it; my arms hugging myself just to get the attention. Gerard walked to the pile of clothes by the door and came back with some in his hands. I laughed. He got me his freaking skeleton pajamas to wear. "They're really warm." Gerard told me with a smile.

"They're going to be huge." I replied.

"More comfortable." Gerard said, undoing the towel and then helping me into them. They were probably twice my size but as Gerard said, they were warm and comfortable. He threw my old clothes into the laundry basket then hung the towel over the edge of the tub. "Alrighty. Walking or am I carrying you?" He asked and I stuck my arms out. "Yeah I figured." Gerard turned around and I jumped, hooking my arms around his neck while my legs went around his body. I knew he could give me piggy back rides but I didn't know he could actually carry me.

We left the bathroom and went back to my bedroom where Gerard gently placed me back on the bed. "Lie down." He instructed so I fell down, bouncing slightly on the mattress. Gerard pulled the blanket over me then bent down and kissed my forehead. "Get some more rest. I'll come back later to check on you." He said with a smile.

"I love you." I said as he headed for my door.

"I love you more." Gerard said passionately as he walked into the hall. "Get better babe." He said with a smile, pulling the door shut and leaving me alone again. I already felt ten times better. His love for me made me feel better. With a smile, I curled up in his pajamas (which smelt wonderfully like him) and went back to sleep.

Gerard's POV

I was worried about Frank because he seemed sick but at the same time he didn't. That's why I just made him relax and take Tylenol since he said he had a headache. He ended up falling asleep on me which made me happy because he tends to do that I noticed. It makes me feel loved. Like he wants to be close to me.

So as Frank slept, I continued to run my fingers through his soft hair while I flipping through the channels of the television. I turned it down so it wouldn't wake him but as usual there was nothing on. When I heard Frank's cellphone start to go off again, I carefully slid out from underneath him and went to answer it. He had a text message. It was from Mikey so I figured it would be safe to open.

Have you told Gerard about what happened last night?

I looked at the screen with confusion. What happened last night? I knew Frank mentioned something about Mikey coming over but I figured he either didn't or just left after he got here. I mean I knew I woke up in a frantic state but Frank helped me fall asleep again. I decided to text Mikey back.

Not yet. Why?

I walked back to the couch, turning his phone on vibrate, and sat by Frank's feet with the phone in my hands. I stared at the screen; waiting for Mikey's reply. What wasn't Frank telling me? Was that why he was crying? Did something happen between him and Mikey? Or just with him?

Well I figured he would be mad and call me or something. Better do it soon.

Why would I get mad at Frank? It had to be bad. With a heavy sigh, I shut the phone and decided to just wake Frank up and ask him. Gently I shook his shoulder. "Frankie, did something bad happen with you last night? Something I would be mad about?" I asked him with confusion.

"W-why you ask that?" His hesitant reply confirmed that something bad did happen.

"I don't want you to keep secrets from me Frankie." I said with a frown. "It makes me feel like you don't trust me. Well, after last week you really can't but I figured that you could still talk to me about stuff..."

"Y-you really want to know?" Frank asked painfully as he sat himself up and stared into my eyes. His large hazel orbs were filled with shame and pain. I didn't want to know but then again I did. I just nodded. "Mikey came over." Frank said and again I nodded. "We-we did something bad."

"W-what?" My heart began to race and my palms became a little clammy. I didn't want to hear his reply.

"We-we-" Frank's eyes clouded with heavy tears and he looked to the couch, "we had sex." He whispered and I found it hard to breathe.

"W-what?" I asked again. I swear I didn't hear him right. He had sex with Mikey? My little brother? No; that can't be what he said.

"I didn't mean for it to happen." Frank told me, crying now. "It just kind of did. He-he wouldn't stop but I didn't make him because it had been so long..."

"So you fucked him?!" I snapped. Frank cringed a little and I knew it was because he thought I was going to attack him. I knew better now than to do that. "Am I really that hard to deal with now?

"What? No!" Frank looked at me again; the tears reflecting the light of the window. "He was on top of me and he just kept touching me and I didn't want to wake you but I didn't make him stop because I needed it and I couldn't ask that of you yet-" He just spewed out at me.

"So because you didn't want to ask me, you went to Mikey instead?" Hurt consumed me. I couldn't believe it. Frank, my boyfriend, or so I thought, decided to let me sleep so he could have sex with my little brother. "I-I-" I stood up and closed my eyes, trying to think of something to say; to do.

"Gerard, I'm really, really sorry!" Frank said in a begging plea. "I wish I could just erase it all."

"I just-" I couldn't even come up with a sentence. Frank tried to touch me but I wouldn't let him. "Not now." I told him a little harshly. Tears started to come out of my eyes. I know I hurt Frank but he kept himself with me. He made it seem like he really did care for me. I was so determined not to fuck it up. But to hear that he fucked my brother, last night, really made me feel bad. I really felt like I wasn't good enough for him. Had he asked me, I might have been able to. But now; now I can't.

"Gerard, please-"

"No Frank." I said as I walked out of the living room. "I can't be around you right now. I'm sorry." I pushed my feet into my shoes and opened the door. "Don't wait up for me." I said, wiping my eyes and heading towards the coffee shop down the road.

When I got there, I sat in one of the seats and cried into my hands; careful not to let anyone really notice. Then I remembered that I still had Frank's phone with me. I felt I should return it, but mine was still at the house should he need to call anyone. Pulling it out of my pocket, I quickly deleted the messages from Mikey. Then, I suddenly wondered something. I went to Frank's contacts and scrolled down them; pushing 'send' when I found what I was looking for. The other end started ringing but eventually it was picked up.

"B-Bert?"