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Stuttering 130
When I exited the bathroom Patrick was still standing there talking to Elisa. Patrick was holding Sofi as Patrick held the bottle to her mouth. The last time I checked Sofi can hold her bottle. No, she can hold her bottle and play with her feet at the same time. I saw her keeping her eyes on Elisa and didn't blink even once.
I laughed to myself as I turned the corner and put Roman in the cart. This was over, Patrick would be holding her until we left outside.
"Hey do you mind if we catch up?" Patrick asked as I came up behind them in the cart.
"Sure see you in 20 minutes at the check out." I sighed walking away.
On any other day I would have put my foot down, but it seemed as if the question he asked me would have gone either way. My answer wouldn't have mattered. I grabbed the list Gin gave me and opened it.

1. 2 packs of Swaddlers by Pampers
2. Wet wipes.
3. Happiness. You need to smile more Cali
4. Pack of Hershey's Kisses
5. Pregnancy test! for you not me that whole fruit thing and the sickness makes me suspicious
p.s.
"Love is all you need. John Lennon. Shot in the back. Very sad." Smile damn you!/
This made me cry and laugh at the same time. When I laughed so did Roman as he imitated me.

"I've got a secret for you Rome. I feel as if daddy's gonna leave us for the Wicked Bitch of the East. But don't fret, he'll always love you. Me? Well that’s another story." I concluded.
Roman pouted a bit and leaned out to give me a kiss.
"You give the best kisses." I said as I finished the grocery shopping.
I was in utter shock when Patrick was sitting with Sofi and Elisa at the front check out.
The way Elisa touched him and giggled made my stomach turn. She then touched his hand where is ring should be and this was the first time I noticed that he didn't have it on.
"Your total will be $213.76."
"I put my card in already." I said softly.
"Oh, you did, sorry."
She hit total and my long receipt came out.
I walked over to the happy couple and rolled my eyes. I handed Patrick her jacket and he started to put it on. It was when Elisa's friend came around the corner that she had to leave also.
"You should call me Patrick, we can hang or something. I have to go. It was fun catching up with you. Bye Cal. You too Damen and Sally." Elisa said taking off.
"Its Roman and Sofia." I said grinding my teeth.
"She made a mistake." Patrick mumbled.
"Their names aren't hard Paco."
"Shit happens Elis- Cali. Let’s go home huh?"
I then pushed Roman out and I saw that he had started to scratch his arms. It’s official, Roman's allergic to peas and Patrick didn't seem to care.
We got into the car and the sky was pitch black. It was almost the end of April and forecast called for snow. I watched in the mirror as the car rocked the babies to sleep. Patrick had a spark in his eyes I haven't seen in a while and this made me hurt even more.
"I have to drop these pampers off to Gin before we go home." I said softly.
"Oh, sure." Patrick said not hearing a word I said.
I turned the radio on and hit shuffle on my iPod the last song I wanted to hear came on and it started to snow. I scoffed to myself as Patrick just drove.

We're driving slow
Through the snow
On fifth avenue
And right now radio's
All that we can hear

Now we ain't talked since we left
It's so overdue
It's cold outside
But between us its worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart, beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers
I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me?

The world slows down
But my heart, beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

We pulled up to the house and he turned the engine off.
"Paco, hon, I told you I had to go drop off these diapers for Gin." I said trying; now I know he really didn't hear me.
"Can't you do it? They're sleeping, I'll take them inside and you can go and come back."
"Take the groceries with you."
"Fine."
I helped him take everything in the house and came back out. When it was all done I saw him close the door and I beat on the steering wheel. I tried my hardest to keep my tears in but as I drove the world was tapping on my shoulder. I hit repeat on the song and just listened to it crying.
I can't believe that Patrick and I have turned into a song, but I did feel like this.

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothings wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't want to try now
All that's lefts goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

But I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

I dropped off the few items for Gin and when I walked into the house she was sitting there crying. I sat next to her and looked at the TV. She was watching "The Notebook" and her tears were just flowing. This made me laugh as I've never been the one for ‘they meet they fall in love and they belong to each other’ thing.
"Life, not like that babe." I said tapping her leg.
"I know. Why are you crying in your car again?" She asked.
"Huh?"
"You've been doing more and more crying. What's going on?"
"You know how therapy is supposed to work?"
"No. Someone once told me that Puerto Ricans don’t do therapy."
"I wanna eat those words right now Gin. I feel as if this was the worst thing I could have ever done to my relationship."
"Why?"
"Because...things are bad."
"Oh Cali."

~*~

Next week at therapy I looked away from Patrick. It was hard to look at him right now. That confession for some reason made me really angry. Its not something I didn't know but it hurt to think about how fast he dismissed me at one point in our relationship. Well I guess from an outsiders point of view meaning anyone but Patrick’s at ALL times in our relationship.
"I can see that you are upset Calista. Would you like to speak on what you are feeling?" Dr. Phillips asked.
I snorted and kept my eyes averted from the two men.
"Calista. Communication at this point is pivotal. The confessions he made weren’t easy. Your silence leaves room for wrong interpretations on his behalf. That is where you've run into problems before." Dr. Phillips clarified.
"Give her a second Doc. She's trying to process what I said. She's not the type to keep things inside. She's just thinking. I can wait." Patrick said in a defeated tone.
Dr. Phillips looked at me and I nodded to show Patrick was right but still kept my eyes away looking around the room trying to collect my thoughts. Trying to find the right words.
"I'm afraid to let you out of my sight just because you seem so easily swayed to turn on me. I hate living like that! I hate that I want to rip the phone out of your hand to know who you're texting, I hate that I want to tap your phone just to know who you are really talking to. I hate that you smile at other girls even if they are fans. I hate reading those stupid stories these girls post online because...I don't know if maybe one day it won't be just fiction and it turns out what I'm reading is true. That you found someone better than me."
I let out a sigh along with some tears and Patrick was just staring at his hands as if in them he'd find the meaning of life, the cure for cancer, the answer to our problems.
Maybe all three.
His face held no expression.
He had that mask on.
I hated that stupid mask.
He always used it when I needed to know his thoughts the most and this was irritating for me because I wanted to know what he was feeling more than anything. I needed to know if he'd finally come to his senses and decided to leave me.