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Chapter Nine - Cut Up Angels


"You're fucking off your face again," Gerard roared as Frank eventually appeared at the door.

"Leave him alone Gerard," Bob snapped back as he ushered Frank into the room.

Frank grabbed a bottle of water, taking the top off and chucking it across the floor. He couldn't stand still, the increasingly lethargic Frank that they had seen over the last few months seemed to be full of energy.

"Will you be alright out there tonight?" Ray asked like a concerned parent.

Frank looked up at Ray and smiled, "Easy peasy,"

Ray smiled back uneasily and shook his head, "Just take it easy, you don't look too good."

"On top of the fucking world Toro," Frank laughed staring over at Gerard.

They all gathered in the centre of the room for the usual huddle before going on stage. Bob watched as Frank stood beside them but continued to sip from the bottle. Gerard was right Frank was acting weird. He looked, well, not all present. Frank when he was on top form was full of energy to the point of bouncing off the walls. But this, this was different. Bob couldn't say anything but he was determind to find out tonight. Frank couldn't keep his hands still and he looked more aggitated than normal.

As they approached the stage and the lights went out, Bob let his concerns disappear as he focused on the crowd in front of them. This show would be difficult but they lived for these moments and as he spun the sticks in his hands and hammered down hard on his faithful drums all seemed well again.

Ray could hear that Frank was struggling, he was hitting the wrong notes and losing the rhythm completely. On rare occasions they would all have bad nights but this was so bad, it was threatening to put Ray off. Ray put all his energy into to trying to block out the sound of Frank's ailing guitar. He improvised on a few bits and casually moved closer to Mikey. They both looked at each other and then Frank who by this time had stopped playing all together. Gerard tried his best to keep singing, his voice becoming angrier with every note. Frank was letting them down, they had all tried to help him but he had pushed them away and now it was starting to affect their performance. Frank was losing it, he tried to join in again and managed to get back on track for a short while. He looked so lost on stage as he aimlessly wandered about, kicking anything in sight before pushing Mikey so hard he fell heavily against Bob's raised platform. They were all used to Frank being slightly mental on stage but this was vicious. The look of pain on Mikey's face as he pulled himself back up and started to play again confirmed that. Frank stood motionless as "Famous Last Words" kicked in, he hammered down hard on the strings. He felt so angry, he didn't care how much he was hurting himself or others as he threw himself about. His knee was screaming in pain for him to stop as he threw himself down on both knees. Ray watched as Frank thrashed about before he kicked out with such venom towards Gerard. The frontman just felt his legs buckle underneath him as he fell backwards before landing on his butt hard. Frank instantly got back on his feet and walked away before coming back towards the singer.

"Having a good time?" Frank asked sarcastically.

"Maybe if you weren't so fucking wasted," Gerard shouted as he stood in front of Frank.

Frank could feel the anger rise up him in as Gerard pushed him away, all the pent up emotions and tensions just seemed to take over as he seethed at the man in front of him.

"Calm down Frank," a voice shouted in his ear as he picked himself back up again.

Mikey had watched the scene in front of him with horror, Frank and Gerard had always clowned about on stage but he'd never seen them seriously lose it with each other.

"Get out of my fucking way Mikey," Frank yelled as Mikey continued to stand in front of him.

"I mean it Frank, fucking get a grip." Mikey shouted back surprising himself with the anger in his voice.

Frank just grinned at him and continued to play. Everything was different, the anger that he had held back was just pouring out of him. He didn't care who got it. The rest of the show went the same way, it was scrappy. Gerard didn't hold back as he roughly pushed Frank away from him on numerous occasions. Mikey couldn't watch anymore as the atmosphere just got more tense and everything just disintegrated in front of him. Every time Frank got close to him, Gerard would prevent him from getting anywhere near his brother. The crowd were quieter, it was the most surreal show Mikey had ever done.

Frank didn't even wait for the final song to finish, he just threw his guitar down heavily on the stage before picking it up and launching it towards Gerard. Mikey saw it happen in slow motion, his brother looking around in horror as Frank suddenly stopped playing and then the guitar flying towards him. Gerard stepped back just in time as the guitar flew across him. As the show finished, Mikey tried to quickly catch his brother as they hastily left the stage.

"Gerard, wait," Mikey yelled as he passed his guitar back to the technician off stage.

"Not this time," Gerard roared back angrily, "This time, he's gone too fucking far."

"Gerard," Ray shouted trying to stop him.

Gerard was so determined to confront Frank, he hadn't been so angry in such a long time. He kicked the dressing room wide open as he looked for him. The room was empty. That was like a red rag to a bull as Gerard walked back out the door, ignoring the sound of Ray shouting on him. That's when he heard a familiar voice, it was laughing, it was fucking laughing like nothing had just happened. Gerard walked straight to the door of the room. He opened it with such force that it rebounded off the wall.

"Get the fuck out here Frank," Gerard shouted with venom as he spotted the guitarist slouched on a seat with a beer already in his hand.

"Fuck off Gerard," Frank instantly replied.

The others in the room immediately shut up and looked pensively at each other, they had picked up vibes that not all was well in the MCR camp but they never expected to see this.

"Gerard come on," Ray said pulling at Gerard's shoulder, "This isn't helping anyone."

Gerard was fuming mad and it took both Ray and Mikey to pull him back. Ray stared at Frank as Mikey walked up the corridor with his brother. Just that one look showed Frank how disappointed Ray was in him and it hit Frank hard. As the door shut, his careless attitude slipped for a moment before he quickly polished off the bottle.

"I'm going to kill him, I swear Ray, I'm going to knock his fucking lights out." Gerard shouted as he threw his jacket across the dressing room.

"He's sick Gerard," Mikey said trying to appease him.

"Yeah, fucking sick in the head." Gerard snapped back, "I know I got drunk but I was never like that."

"You did some pretty fucked up things too," Ray replied.

"But not like that, he almost broke Mikey's ribs and took out my legs," Gerard shouted as he angrily pulled at his hair, "The way he looked at me, like it was my fucking fault, we can't go on like this."

"What do you mean?" Bob asked.

"Frank needs to accept that he needs help and then actually fucking get it," Gerard replied, "Who knows what he's going to do next?"

"Maybe we should all try talking to him again," Mikey suggested as they entered their dressing room.

"Because that was so fucking successful the last time." Gerard snapped throwing himself back on the couch.

"Gerard, let it go," Mikey sighed.

"You guys ready to head out," Worm asked, "Hey where's Frank?"

"Getting drunk and stoned with the support band," Gerard immediately quipped.

"And you guys are just letting him?" Worm replied slightly taken a back.

"Fucking hell," Gerard shouted standing out and moving to the door as Mikey just rolled his eyes at Worm.

"You want me to grab Frank?" Worm asked Ray.

"Yeah but keep him away from Gerard," Ray quietly replied despondently.

Gerard was pissed to the point people were moving aside for him without question as he made his way to the bus. The support dressing room was empty as he passed it and his temper shortened when he saw Frank joking about with Nat and Chris by their bus.

"Frank," Worm shouted, "Get on the bus."

Frank eventually looked over, "I'm just going to ride with these guys back to the hotel."

"Frank, get on the fucking bus now." Gerard screamed not caring who saw him at this time.

"Fuck off Gerard, you don't own me." Frank snapped back as he turned to board the bus.

"Hey Maybe you should just go with them," Nat carefully suggested as an extremely angry Gerard just stood staring at them.

"Don't tell me you're scared off that ass," Frank replied loudly.

"Gerard, come on just leave him," Mikey suggested pulling on his brother's arm.

"You're pathetic Frank," Gerard shouted before turning to follow Mikey.

Frank stopped mid-way up the stairs to the support bands bus, "Is that right?"

"Gerard don't," Mikey said trying to stop him responding.

"Janie left you Frank, get over it," Gerard yelled turning to Frank once more.

"Fuuuuuccccckkk," Bob muttered knowing that a bomb had just been lit as the name that they had all been careful not to say was finally spoken.

"You fucker Gerard," Frank responded throwing himself off the stairs and running towards him.

Worm immediately reacted and tried to move to hold Gerard. Nothing was stopping the frontman as all the tension and anger that has been held back for so long overspilled. Frank made to grab the front of Gerard's jacket and with all his strength push him. Gerard stumbled back for a moment before forcefully shoving Frank. The already drained guitarist fell down hard on to his back.

"Don't you see what you're doing to us all?" Gerard shouted at him.

"That's right, it's all my fucking fault. Well I'm sorry I can't just can't shut people out of my life like you." Frank replied as he got back on his feet.

"Right come on you guys," Ray interupted trying to ease the tension.

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Gerard replied.

"You know exactly what I mean," Frank retaliated as he waved Bob away from him.

"No come on Frank, since you seem to be unable to shut your god damn mouth."

"Gerard," Mikey said trying to distract him.

"That's it, break it up and get on the bus." Worm instructed thankful to see the other security guys finally arriving.

"She was my fucking life Gerard, I love her and I'm sorry if I can't switch my focus to someone else, " Frank yelled, "But you, you just put one down and move on to the next - first Kat and then Eliza."

"Whatever Frank,"

"You watched your brother disintegrate before your fucking eyes and did fuck all about it," Frank added, "Yeah, you''ve got such a heart Gerard, you could only think about the fucking record when Mikey broke down."

"You fucker," Gerard growled before he punched Frank hard across the side of his face.

Frank lost his feeting and fell on his side.

"Stop it," Mikey shouted grabbing his brother around the stomach.

"I hate you, I fucking hate you," Frank spat at Gerard as Bob pulled him off the ground.

"The feelings mutual Frankie," Gerard shouted emphasising the "ie" part.

"Bob, you go with him on the other bus and I'll get Gerard in this one," Worm shouted, "We'll deal with this back at the hotel."

Nobody argued. Everyone was in shock and the remorse and hurt on Gerard's face was all too apparent to his brother as they finally shut the bus door.

"You okay?" Mikey asked him.

"Not really," Gerard responded feeling the tears start to burn his eyes, "I'm just gonna lie down for a bit."

x------x

"You need some ice for that, " Nat gently asked Frank as Bob sat him down.

Frank didn't answer as he pulled his knees up to his chest and stared blankly out of the window.

"That'd be good thanks," Bob replied watching Frank closely.

Nat brought an ice pack back which Bob graciously accepted when Frank didn't even acknowledge she was there.

"Frank, you need to use that," Bob tried to suggest, "That's gonna be a shiner in the morning."

Frank didn't respond, he couldn't feel the pain. In fact, he couldn't feel anything.



Thanks for reviewing my last chapter. I'd be so grateful if you could let me know what you think of this one and please let me know if you think I'm messing up anywhere. Not many people are reading this one but if you are please review.