FicWad

So, I think I can post this chapter now. Hope it doesn't suck too hardcore, you know? Well yeah, please read and try to enjoy? Oh, and I'm just realizing like the BILLIONS of typos I made in previous chapters. x ( So, sorry if any of that confused people. These days I'm simply half awake all the time due to my sleep disorder. Sorry kids.




lovelovelove




Finch







 It was Tuesday and we were all leaving for the camping trip. For the most part everything was okay. I was going to avoid Gerard, Conner and I didn't talk about him, and everything was going as planned. Conner and I sat in the game rooom, waiting for them to say it was okay to leave. Before I left that morning I made a small attempt at getting Gerard to understand that I had really liked him. I did this by, as pathetic as it sounds, posting a bulletin in myspace, being very unspecific and vague. I hoped to god he would read it, because I knew that he left his house right before we left, so he would be there about an hour or so after everyone else. Unlike the other camping trip, Gerard and his camp would be coming with us. Just because I had worried about Gerard the other day didn't mean I wasn't still angry at him. Conner and I sat there with our friends, he and I jammed out to the music from his iPod while everyone else kind of just sat around and talked amongst themselves. Antoinette walked in and told everyone that we were going to leave in a bout ten minutes, so I decided to go to the bathroom before we left.

 When I was walking back from the bathroom I saw Gerard walking towards me. My heart raced for a few seconds, but then I just put my hood up and looked at my feet as I walked. He walked past me, almost stopping to say something, but deciding against it because I didn't look at him. I heard his footsteps stop and I felt him watch me as I walked down the hall.

 "Frankie!" He called from the other side of the hall.

I stopped, looked up slightly and just glanced back. I didn't reply, as if to tell him that I was still angry at him.

 "What was that bulletin about?" He asked me.

I smiled on the inside. My plan had actually been a success? When did that ever happen to me? I just gave him a blank look and shrugged while saying,

 "Nothin." I turned back around and continued walking.

I listened for Gerard's footsteps, but he stayed completely still as I walked back into the room. There was a smile plastered on my face as I grabbed my bags from inside of the room, Conner soon taking a spot by my side, grabbing his things as well.

 "What're you smiling about?" He asked me, nudging me with an elbow.

I shook my head as I continued to smile.

 "No reason."

 I made sure my cell phone was on as we boarded the buses, just in case Gerard wanting to text me saying something actually meaningful for once. Conner and I took our seats in the bus, junk food and energy drinks surrounding us. Harold was cool with us all drinking and eating inside of the bus. Gerard and his camp would take a different bus that followed us all the way to the campsite, and that's why I made sure that my phone was on(though in some places we drove through we had no service). Conner and I continued to listen to his music, already drifting off to sleep as the bus began to move. Inside of the bus it got incredibly hot, so everyone would open their windows, which in turn made my bangs tickle my face while I slept. Eventually I would turn my face half onto my hand so I could keep my bangs in place as we drove along, because I needed my sleep. It seemed as though every day I got more and more tired, like I hadn't gotten enough sleep, but everyone knew that I slept a lot. Conner and I flopped all over eachother as we slept(like usual) and it was peaceful. We drove through the countryside as we listened to a playlist on Conner's iPod for sleeping in the car(because we got that specific sometimes), the nice wind cooling off our bodies. This was the part of summer camp I lived for. When things felt perfect and I didn't have to think about it all.

 Death Cab for Cutie played on Conner's iPod. They would become most of our Summer Soundtrack, which we changed every summer so during the school year we could think back on it. All of a sudden I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I wanted to ignore it and go back to sleep, but then again I wanted so badly to see if it was Gerard. So I gave in and pulled the phone from my pocket, and it was Gerard.

 "Im sorry frankie." It read.

I lowered my eyelids.

 "Don't apologize if you don't even know what you did, Gerard." I replied.

After a few minutes I got a reply.

 "But i dont know what i did." His reply made me extremely angry.

I felt there was only one thing to do, and that was stop playing games and actually tell him why I was angry. After about five minutes of contemplating what I was going to say, I replied.

 "Do you know how much I like you? Why do you lead me on?"

And another few minutes.

 "I like you too. A lot. So whats the problem?" I growled to myself quietly, hoping not to wake up Conner who was splayed across my legs.

 "You're just laying games. You flirt with everyone. If you really liked me that much you wouldn't be like that." I told him, confident in my reply.

 "Im sorry frank. Its just hard when things cant happen between us."

His reply made me more sad than anything. We had talked about this a million and one times, yet Gerard still couldn't fit his head around the fact that we could work around things. I replied telling him just that. Then he replied back quickly.

 "Im sorry im sorry. I keep forgetting. How about we start this camping trip? See where things go okay?" I smiled at his reply.

To me, that meant he was done messing around, that he wanted things to start working out between us. And that was all I had wanted from him. I texted back a simple reply, telling him that it was a plan and that I was going to take a nap now, he replied telling me to sleep well. And I did.

 I woke up to Harold telling everyone that we were at the lunch spot. Everyone had gotten off the bus by the time Conner and I sleepily found our lunches and got off the bus. Our feet trudged over to the picnic tables, where everyone had already seated themselves. Conner and I sat down at an empty table, knowing that all of the stupid annoying kids who followed us everywhere would soon inhabit the table as well. And as soon as we started eating, they started to come over. Our table was soon crowded with about ten little kids, all trying to talk to us at once. I ignored them and continued to eat my lunch, while Conner complied and started to talk to them. I stared up lazily as Gerard walked around, checking on all of the little kids in his camp, making sure everyone was behaving. It was sunny, and the light was hitting down on my dark hair, making my head incredibly warm and uncomfortable. My brother didn't come on this camping trip, as he was becoming increasingly too cool for summer camp. I, on the other hand, loved summer camp more than anything, or, close to anything. After walking around a few times Gerard walked over to us, sitting down across from me where three little kids had just jumped off. He just smiled at me, and I sort of smiled back, losing my appetite.

 We all made small talk for a while while and didn't touch my lunch. Gerard made suggestive hints while we talked, I would kick him lightly under the table, though we all knew that none of the little kids understood. Jessi came over after a while and sat down in my lap. Gerard gave me a weird look, so I just shrugged. Though I was head-over-heels for Gerard, I still hadn't forgotten my feelings for Jessi, but I think it was more of the fact that I was attracted to her. Jessi was hilarious and always made me laugh, so I wanted to keep her as a close friend, just nothing more. After a nice lunch everyone had to load the buses up again, Gerard waving as he loaded his bus. I didn't wave back though for some reason, I just kind of smiled as the sun hit my face. There was only about two hours left on our bus ride, and I had no cell phone service. I decided it would be best if I turned my cell phone off, then I would have batteries for the way back.

 We arrived at our camp in the late afternoon. Our camp site wasn't too far from where it was the last year, so most of us knew our way around the camp. A weird memory from the year before came back to me. It was Matt and I. It was about two in the morning and it was a thunderstorm. I was incredibly tired and cold. Matt and I sat next to eachother, my head on his shoulder as I slept, and his head lightly leaned on mine. There was a blanket over us to keep our legs warm. the blanket was just thick enough so you couldn't see Matt's hand nestled in the edge of my pants as his arm wrapped around me. I woke up a few times from the commotion all the older kids were making, and played with Matt's necklace until I fell back asleep. I felt myself get a little sick and I shivered, shaking the memory out of my head.

 We unpacked by dinner time. We were eating hotdogs that night. I despised hotdogs with a passion, and Conner knew this, so he ate both of our meals. I just had some chips and some water, really not that hungry. Gerard sat at a different table knowing to avoid looking like we were too close, because I think people were already becoming weirdly suspicious of us. After dinner they decided that we could go to the dunes and watch the sunset, then have a campfire over there. I grabbed an extra jacket to throw over the thin one I was already wearing. It was black and had brown fur around the edges, and was incredibly warm without making me look like a puffy snowman. Conner and I walked together like usual, Jessi tagging along and talking to us as we walked. Some of the kids ran up ahead of us, wanting to get there before anyone else, just like the little brats they were.

 Everyone arrived at the dunes, the sunset played off the lake beautifully. It was getting a little chilly, and there were a few clouds gathering above us. Everyone ran around, climbing the steep dunes, jumping off little ledges, and sitting by the water, where the lifeguard watched them(well, she kind of half-assed it, I think she hated us all...), and Conner and I just walked around, the cool sand on our feet feeling nice from the hot day we had earlier. Gerard sat down at the base of the dunes, helping to start the fire, because he was still a leader after all. I seated myself on top of the dunes with Conner, more memories coming back to me.

 It was before we had gone back to the campsite, the sky thundering and raining. I sat in the same spot, huddled against Matt, no one else around us to see. We stared across the dunes, the opposite direction from the lake. The lightening started striking off in the distance, lighting up our eyes with flashes of purple and blue and white. It was so pretty. My mind wandered as he an d I sat on the sand peacefully. Until the lightening started getting closer, striking in the distance still, but hitting the dunes. We could hear it, but we couldn't see it. Antoinette ran up to the top of the dunes, knowing we were both up here. She gave Matt a funny look from behind just as I turned around. Then she stared at me lovingly,

 "Come on guys, we gotta head to the bottom. There's lightening and you're sitting on the highest point for miles, not a good idea." She laughed a little as she started sliding back down the dunes. Matt and I followed, separating slowly as not to look suspicious.

 Once again I shook myself out of my memory trance, Conner giving me and odd look as he sat with me.

 "What was that about?" He asked, knowing something was up.

 "N-nothing, I'm just remembering last year." I told him.

I knew Conner remembered what happened with Matt and I, and he he sighed, shaking his head.

 "Come on man. It's all in the past, it's time to forget it." He told me reassuringly.

 "I know. I know." I said, staring off into the distance where exactly a year ago there was lightening striking.

After sitting there for about fifteen minutes and watching the sun go down, a leader called us down, telling us that it was campfire time. Conner and I bounded down the dunes happily, jumping with long strides. I tackled Conner and we both slid down the dunes, tumbling in the sand. We stopped rolling and flinging sand everywhere as we reached the bottom, everyone already around the campfire. He and I still laughed a bit as we stood and brushed ourselves off, sitting by the fire. Gerard, Conner, and I sat behind everyone else some distance, but just enough so we could see everyone else still. I sat on one side of Gerard and Conner sat on the other side.

 Jessi and her little sister stood on the side of everyone, fighting about something like usual. Jessi's parent's had gone through a nasty divorce, and her half sister lived with her and her mom. I never understood completely, but I knew that Jessi could get taken away from his mom if her little sister got her in trouble again. It worried me knowing that Jessi might have to move away, because her and I had some pretty great memories over the years. I don't think summer camp would be the same without her. Her little sister, however, was a loud, overly dramatic, ten year old. Mostly Jessi's little sister, her name was Josie, was okay, and sometimes actually really funny. But other than that she was way too hyper and dramatic for my tastes.

 I looked over at Jessi and Josie worryingly, hoping that everything was going to be okay. Everyone else was oblivious to Gerard, Conner, Jessi, Josie, and I as they told campfire stories and made smores like good little campers. How deranged was I to ruin something so pure as summer camp? I shrugged it off though. Gerard noticed me watching them and gave me a strange look, which I ignored. He really though I still had a thing for Jessi, and I knew it. A little girl ran over, wanting to sit in Gerard's lap, but he just gave her an annoyed look.

 "No, only the big kids can sit over here, go back to the campfire." He said turning her around.

She looked incredibly sad as she walked away though, Gerard rolling his eyes and leaning back on his hands. I looked back over to Jessi, who was now alone, sitting under a tree by herself. Then I noticed Josie walking towards me, motioning me over with her hand. I shook my head and waited for her to walk over herself. She finally reached me and plopped over in the sand.

 "Jessi, wants, to talk, to you." She panted out.

I sighed and stood up, Conner and Gerard both watching me as I made my way over to Jessi. Jessi sat alone, hugging her legs. She looked so cute just then. Her black skinny jeans and hot pink v-neck t-shirt, she had also just gotten her monroe pierced, and it made her look extra cute. I sat down next to her, her stare not looking at me.

 "Can I tell you something?" She asked, still avoiding looking at me.

 "Yeah, of course you can." I told her.

She should know by now that she can tell me anything.

 "I think that this year..." She stopped and stared hard at the fire, her eyes flickering.

 "I think that this year I actually really like you." She told me softly.

For a moment I was really happy, then I was really sad. I didn't like her like that.

 "Why?" I asked, wondering why anyone at all would like me.

 "I dunno. You know when you meet someone, and the more you get to know them you notice their flaws?" She asked.

 "Yeah?" I didn't know where she was going with this now.

She looked at me now, her eyes staring nervously into mine.

 "Well. I just haven't found those flaws in you yet." She told me.

I wanted to hug her tightly, but I knew Gerard was watching. Thank god he was just far away enough so he couldn't hear us. I just scoffed.

 "Really? Because I'm probably the most flawed person you'll ever meet. I'm sorry Jessi... but I'm not the kind of person you should fall for. I'm far too troublesome." I told her, trying to let her know that I did have problems, just under the surface.

 "Okay..." She told me, looking back at the fire.

 "I still love you no matter what though, Jessi." I smiled at her, and she smiled back slightly.

 "I love you too." She hugged me tightly.

I got up and walked back over to Gerard and Conner. Gerard looked at me funny, but Conner just gave me a knowing look. I ignored Gerard's stare and just faced the fire, staring off into it.

 After an hour or so of sitting under the stars and sitting around quietly, the leaders decided it was time to go. Everyone stood up, including Gerard, Conner, and I. For a moment we stood still, until one of the other leaders looked back at up suspiciously.

 "I'm gonna make sure that none of the kids fall behind." Gerard told them with a smile.

The leader smiled and turned around, holding up and a hand and yelling,

 "Gerard's the caboose!" Before jogging up to the front of the pack.

As soon as the group had moved on a bit, we followed them, winding around the dark path with a single flashlight. Gerard walked rather close to me, our bodies keeping the other's warm in the cold night. His hand slowly reached behind me, his fingers sliding into my back pocket. I laughed a little as we walked. Every time a little kid would run back to Gerard and try to talk to him he would sort of yell at them, take his hand out of my pocket, then wait until the kid left to put his hand back. Since we were far behind everyone else no one really saw us together, except Conner, who stood awkwardly to the side and said nothing. I looked up at Gerard, my eyes twinkling against the starry skies. He smiled back at me.

 All of a sudden our lips touched softly, and only for a brief second, as we couldn't take any risks. In the short time that our lips were touching my world stopped. His soft lips worked against mine for only a moment, but it was sweet. Just how I had wanted it to be. My stomach fluttered insanely. I had just kissed Gerard for the firs time, and it was perfect. I blushed bashfully and looked at the ground, Conner, Gerard, and I all smiling like idiots when we got back to the camp. That night I slept well, Conner and I flopped over eachother like usual, the sound of the crickets lulled us to sleep. It was good to be back at the dunes. Oh how different things were from the previous summer, yet, how they were the same.




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MAHHHHH. So finally. They kissed, and it sucked, but I have no muse so feel free to add anything super special in your head and consider it part of the story just so it doesn't suck so bad. I don't mind. I just found out some really insane shit today. Then typed this all in one sitting. Which has never happened in the history of ever for me. Review and stuff please? Thank you.




Lovelovelove




Finch