Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Press Play


by killxsmile 3 reviews

And it all comes crashing down.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: R - Genres: Drama - Published: 2009-02-23 - Updated: 2009-02-24 - 998 words

Author's Note: As I said to readers of "Lasting Impressions," you can thank a stress-induced bout of insomnia for this update.

Tissamy: I have a feeling you'll like this chapter.
chocolatechortle22: Oh, if only things were that simple...

Now onto the chapter.

SEVEN: tautou


“GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” was what I woke up to. Confused, I found myself in my bed, and recognized the screamer as Lacey.

I swung my feet over the side of the bed and walked toward the living room in attempts of figuring out what was going on.

Peeking into the doorway, I could see Cameron holding a bag from Starbucks. His usual apology.

“Just let me talk to her, okay?”
“I think you’ve done enough,” she spat.
“Lacey…” He set the bag on the table and turned around, only to be face-to-face with a furious brunette.
“Can’t you see what you’re doing to her?!” He rolled his eyes as she continued blocking his way. “Well I guess I’ll inform you. After picking your sorry ass up from Excalibur and dropping you off at your dump of an apartment, Juliet came home and cried her fucking eyes out. Why? Because she knows you don’t love her. She knows it. You know it. I know it. Your whole goddamn apartment building knows it!”
“SHUT UP!” he said, pushing past her.
“She deserves so much more than a douchebag like you.” Anger filled his eyes and he raised his hand like he was going to hit her.

“CAM!” I yelled. They both looked up at me with shocked expressions.

He stepped back. She stepped forward.

“Just say the word and I’ll kick his f—”
“Lacey, could you give us a minute?

She wordlessly nodded, then retreated to her room.

“I can’t do this anymore…“ I said, directing my gaze toward my feet. He gently cupped my cheek and tilted my face toward his.
“Cam, don’t…” I said, turning away from him. He dropped his hand to his side and we stood there, frozen in silence.

A quiet “I’m sorry…” eventually slipped from his lips. “…For everything.”

Another apology.

“Sorry won’t fix things this time.”
“…Then what will?” he asked. “Nothing, Cam,” I quietly replied. “I’m tired of this… lying to myself… pretending that we’re still good for each other when we both know it isn’t true.”
“But I lo—”
“Don‘t, Cameron… Please, just don‘t.”

He looked into my eyes, then slowly hung his head. I guess this was the point where it all fell apart. For both of us.

He silently turned around and let himself out of the apartment, leaving the brown paper bag on the table. I stood there, dumbstruck by my own actions.

I could hear my heart pounding in my ears as I locked the door.

“Are you going to be alright?” Lacey asked, after what seemed like an hour. In reality, only a few minutes had passed.
“Probably not,” I quietly replied.

Silently, I turned around and headed toward my room. Lacey sensed that I wanted to be alone, and stayed in the living room. Bella, however, decided to follow.

After grabbing Deja Entendu from the CD rack, I popped it into my stereo and set it to repeat.

I’m sinking like a stone in the sea…
I’m burning like a bridge for your body…

As I laid on my bed, memories flashed through my mind.

The first time we hugged.
The first time we kissed.
The first time he told me he loved me.

I’m sinking like a stone in the sea…
I’m burning like a bridge for your body…

The first time we watched a sunset.
The first time I said I needed him.
The first time I fell asleep in his arms.

I’m sinking like a stone in the sea…
I’m burning like a bridge for your body…

The first time I saw him drunk.
The first time I had to pick him up from a bar.
The first time I realized we were just two fuck ups in denial.

As the bass line for Sic Transit Gloria…Glory Fades began, Bella leaped onto the bed and positioned her head against my neck.

Keep the noise low, she doesn’t blow it, shaking head to toe while the left hand does ‘the show me around.’ Quickens you heartbeat, it beats me straight into the ground…

The grey kitten nuzzled against my cheek, wiping away stray tears.

You don’t recover from a night like this. A victim still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand moves in the dark to a zipper. Hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper, “This is so messed up…”

I closed my eyes and buried my head against a pillow. “This is so messed up,” I whispered.

I love him. Present tense.
He loved me. Past tense.

Emotions were overriding rationality.
Heart over head.

The fever. The focus. The reasons that I had to believe you weren’t too hard to sell. Die young and save yourself. The tickle. The taste of. It used to be the reason I breathed and now it’s choking me up. Die young and save yourself…

If this was one of those teen fiction books you’d find at Borders, right about now my story would be going one of 3 ways:

A) I’d find myself downing a bottle of prescription pills
B) I’d find myself holding a sharp object to my wrist
C) I’d find myself drinking a massive amount of alcohol, then proceeding to option A and or B

Luckily, I am not a fictional character. But that doesn’t mean much.

I was still laying in bed, quietly self destructing as Jesse Lacey’s voice bounced off the walls.

So do it.
You know you want to.
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