Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > A Game of Cat and Mouse
Ch.5--- A Glimpse Of Hope
I stumbled a little as I walked hastily and lazily, looking something along the lines of a very wasted person, towards the tree I had found Gerard at before. Kids were scattered everywhere across lawns, eating, laughing, and having a grand time with each other. I kept my head low and ignored them, veering off the sidewalk and making my was across the grass towards the figure propped against the tree; Gerard. He knees were pulled up towards his chest, providing a table for his sketchbook as he drew; his long black hair curtaining his face as he sat in the shadow of the giant willow beside the pond. "C-can I sit with you?" I asked as I approached.
"We've been over this already. Free country." Gerard told me, reaching an arm to the side and pulling his backpack closer to him as though he was making room for me to sit. I dropped my bag down then fell harshly to the cold earth beside him, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my ankles while leaning my head against the tree; staring at the long green branches dangling down.
"Do you ever just get really frustrated and feel all alone?" I asked Gerard as I stared at the top of the tree.
"I usually am alone so I'll have to say no." Gerard told me in his blank, emotionless voice. "Trouble in paradise?"
"Can you just not be you right now?" I asked with angst. "God I'm sorry I've been an asshole to you! I can't fucking change the past but I've tried all week to be kind to you! Yes, I'll admit, the whole reason I started talking to you was because I was dared. I expected a lot of things by accepting the challenge too;" I wiped my eyes as a few tears started to escape, grabbing my bag and standing up. "But one thing I never expected was to actually fall for you like I have." I told Gerard who stopped drawing and looked up at me with shock. "This is why I don't date; it doesn't work." I turned to walk away when my wrist was suddenly grabbed.
"Y-you like me?" Gerard asked hesitantly and far softer than he had been speaking to me.
"Yeah, I do." I said a little bitterly. "But what's it matter? I was an asshole to you so you get to be an asshole to me now." I yanked my wrist out of his grip and wiped my eyes again. "Karma's a bitch though, ya know? I just freaked out on my best friend for talking shit about you when I've done it for years; punching him in the face and giving him a bloody fucking nose. Now I'll be lucky if he ever talks to me again." I couldn't help but cry because I was extremely frustrated and confused. "I'm sorry I've wasted your time and distracted you from drawing the past few days." I said quietly before walking away.
I gripped the strap of my backpack tightly as I walked away from the school and along the wide pond until I was almost off school grounds; crying lightly the entire time. A small breeze picked up, rippling the top of the water and I sat down, drawing my knees close to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knees and watched the tiny waves of the rippling water dance across its surface. In a matter of three days the life I led had completely changed. I've fallen 'in love' with someone I thought horrible things about, I've more than likely messed up my relationship with my pretty-much-my-brother best friend, I've learned to draw though I'm not good at it, and I no longer have any desire to even go to the Valentines dance.
"I sit by the pond because it's peaceful and gives me time to just release all my stress and relax." Gerard soft and gentle voice broke the silent winds. He sat down in the soft grass beside me. "I'm sorry I've been an asshole the past few days."
"I deserve it." I mumbled, sniffling a little as I tried to stop crying. "After the way I've treated you..."
"That's just it; you've never actually done anything to me. You've always just ignored me like everyone else here. When you suddenly approached me the other day, I was in complete shock because you're one of the most popular boys here and I figured you had to have some alternate motive." He sounded ashamed as he spoke, staring at the water like I was. "I figured that by being rude, I would be able to easily move on should you hurt me like...before." Gerard paused for a moment before very quietly saying 'before'.
"I would never do that to anyone." I told him, sniffling a little more. "I may be an asshole, I'll be the first to say it, but I would never lead someone on, regardless of how much I'm dared, only to painfully dump them in the end for a few laughs." I wiped my eyes again. "That's cruel and heartless and rude. I don't date because I know that will never happen to me with one night stands. They are what they are."
"It doesn't excuse my actions and I don't know what Ray's told you, but I got stuck in one of those situations before where I fell for someone only to have them tell me it was all a joke. It really hurt because I really liked them. Ever since, I've secluded myself from everyone but my brother and Ray because I don't want it to happen again." Gerard spoke quietly and painfully, probably trying to suppress certain memories about that time.
"I'm really sorry. I don't understand why anyone would do that to someone." I said, finally calm again. "I'm just so lost all of a sudden. I don't know what I want or what to do. It's like everything keeps spinning around me and I just-" I sighed and pressed my face into my ripped jeans. I felt Gerard place a hand on my shoulder and gently rub it.
"Think about what makes you happy; like, truly happy." Gerard told me. "For me, it's drawing. When I draw, everything around me seems to make sense and I feel relaxed. Do something that will help you escape and relax. And as far as your friend goes, if he's your best friend he'll be upset for a bit but he'll get over it and you'll move on. Apologize and give him space to cool down. He'll still be your friend in the end." I smiled and nodded some, blinking my eyes to clarify my vision.
"You know, I don't even want to go to the dance anymore really. I don't like being expected to go to every social event in this place simply because I'm popular. God; I don't even know how I became popular in the first place." I said with confusion.
"Popularity all depends on how you're perceived by your peers." Gerard said and for whatever reason, I laughed a little, lifting my head off my knees and letting them fall flat before me. "My guess is you're popular because you're good looking, not afraid to be yourself, stand up for what you believe, protect your friends, you don't let rules contain you, and you don't give up on anything easily." I laughed at the last one because he was referring to my chasing him.
"I feel so bad about all this because it's all centered around my getting dared to get you to the dance and kiss you in front of everyone. I should have just streaked." Gerard stared laughing, removing his hand from my shoulder.
"Streaked?!" He asked through his gasping breaths.
"Yeah, that's how we play 'truth or dare'. If you don't accept a dare you have to strip and streak across the school grounds." I said with a smile and Gerard fell backwards with laughter. "Haven't you seen or heard Pete do it? He streaks like once a week."
"Why?" Gerard gasped out and I shrugged.
"Maybe he likes being naked." That made Gerard laugh harder. "Pete likes to break rules and get attention. Streaking across school gets him both."
"Wow." Gerard said, calming himself down. "That's really fucked up."
"It's a lot of fun. You know Ray's been hanging out with us lately." I laid back against the ground next to him, staring at the fluffy white clouds slowly move along the big blue sky.
"I haven't heard much from him lately." Gerard said quietly, crossing his arms behind his head to form a pillow for himself. "I don't think Mikey has either. The last place I would have expected him was with the popular kids."
"He's been hanging around with Bob, Bryar, a lot." I said.
"I would have never imagined those two." Gerard said with shock.
"I never imagined us." I said quietly.
"Honey, there's no 'us'." Gerard sat back up. "At least not yet." He smirked then jumped to his feet, heading back towards the willow before I had time to even realize what happened. I sat up, hastily grabbed my bag, and went after him. "God; can't I go anywhere without you fucking following me?" Gerard asked with a heavy sigh and greatly confused me.
"Wait; you came to me first." I said, my eyebrows pushing together as I had to walk faster just to keep up with him.
"You were crying; it disturbed the tranquility. I wanted to shut you up." He replied with a shrug.
"Are you like bipolar or something?" I asked with annoyance. Gerard sighed and stopped, grabbing my shoulders.
"Why do you like me?" He asked, his voice a little bored.
"Well.... "I had to think of a way to put it into words. "You're strong minded, you have quite an attitude, and you don't go over the top to try to please me or become my friend. Hell, you do the opposite."
"Exactly." Gerard smirked some more. "What happened back there was because you were upset and needed someone to talk to." He pushed my bangs aside to look me more in the eyes.
"O...k..." I looked at him with immense confusion. Gerard sighed heavily, rolling his eyes and letting his head fall back for a moment before looking at me again.
"God all the pretty boys are always incredibly stupid." Gerard said to himself. "Ok, let me break this down for you Frankie;" I felt myself blush a little at the nickname. "You said you like me because of the way I treat you, right?" I nodded. "I'm not always a rude ass but for whatever reason you like me ignoring you and giving you problems."
"No I like how you talk back to me and really make me put effort into getting you to talk." I corrected Gerard because I don't appreciate the ignoring and the rudeness.
"Whatever just shut up and listen." Gerard said so I bit my bottom lip to keep my mouth shut. "If I become all nice and such you won't like me anymore."
"That's not true. How you act has-"
"Frank shut the fuck up until I'm done!" Gerard snapped and I smiled before his hand clamped over my mouth. "You technically haven't gotten real far in your great quest so you might want to reexamine your approach." Gerard smiled and removed his hand.
"Do I have a chance?" I asked casually as I gazed up at him.
"You might." Gerard replied before he grabbed my shoulders again and suddenly put his lips against mine in a quick yet gentle kiss. "Dance is in three days." He whispered to me with a slim smile. "Good luck." Gerard said before he suddenly pushed me backwards into the pond. I fell completely under the water before shooting back up because it was freezing. Gerard blew me a kiss then turned and walked away as though nothing happened. I watched him disappear, laughing to myself before pulling myself out of the water and hugging myself as I headed back to the table; in a far greater mood than when I left.
I stumbled a little as I walked hastily and lazily, looking something along the lines of a very wasted person, towards the tree I had found Gerard at before. Kids were scattered everywhere across lawns, eating, laughing, and having a grand time with each other. I kept my head low and ignored them, veering off the sidewalk and making my was across the grass towards the figure propped against the tree; Gerard. He knees were pulled up towards his chest, providing a table for his sketchbook as he drew; his long black hair curtaining his face as he sat in the shadow of the giant willow beside the pond. "C-can I sit with you?" I asked as I approached.
"We've been over this already. Free country." Gerard told me, reaching an arm to the side and pulling his backpack closer to him as though he was making room for me to sit. I dropped my bag down then fell harshly to the cold earth beside him, pulling my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around my ankles while leaning my head against the tree; staring at the long green branches dangling down.
"Do you ever just get really frustrated and feel all alone?" I asked Gerard as I stared at the top of the tree.
"I usually am alone so I'll have to say no." Gerard told me in his blank, emotionless voice. "Trouble in paradise?"
"Can you just not be you right now?" I asked with angst. "God I'm sorry I've been an asshole to you! I can't fucking change the past but I've tried all week to be kind to you! Yes, I'll admit, the whole reason I started talking to you was because I was dared. I expected a lot of things by accepting the challenge too;" I wiped my eyes as a few tears started to escape, grabbing my bag and standing up. "But one thing I never expected was to actually fall for you like I have." I told Gerard who stopped drawing and looked up at me with shock. "This is why I don't date; it doesn't work." I turned to walk away when my wrist was suddenly grabbed.
"Y-you like me?" Gerard asked hesitantly and far softer than he had been speaking to me.
"Yeah, I do." I said a little bitterly. "But what's it matter? I was an asshole to you so you get to be an asshole to me now." I yanked my wrist out of his grip and wiped my eyes again. "Karma's a bitch though, ya know? I just freaked out on my best friend for talking shit about you when I've done it for years; punching him in the face and giving him a bloody fucking nose. Now I'll be lucky if he ever talks to me again." I couldn't help but cry because I was extremely frustrated and confused. "I'm sorry I've wasted your time and distracted you from drawing the past few days." I said quietly before walking away.
I gripped the strap of my backpack tightly as I walked away from the school and along the wide pond until I was almost off school grounds; crying lightly the entire time. A small breeze picked up, rippling the top of the water and I sat down, drawing my knees close to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I rested my chin on my knees and watched the tiny waves of the rippling water dance across its surface. In a matter of three days the life I led had completely changed. I've fallen 'in love' with someone I thought horrible things about, I've more than likely messed up my relationship with my pretty-much-my-brother best friend, I've learned to draw though I'm not good at it, and I no longer have any desire to even go to the Valentines dance.
"I sit by the pond because it's peaceful and gives me time to just release all my stress and relax." Gerard soft and gentle voice broke the silent winds. He sat down in the soft grass beside me. "I'm sorry I've been an asshole the past few days."
"I deserve it." I mumbled, sniffling a little as I tried to stop crying. "After the way I've treated you..."
"That's just it; you've never actually done anything to me. You've always just ignored me like everyone else here. When you suddenly approached me the other day, I was in complete shock because you're one of the most popular boys here and I figured you had to have some alternate motive." He sounded ashamed as he spoke, staring at the water like I was. "I figured that by being rude, I would be able to easily move on should you hurt me like...before." Gerard paused for a moment before very quietly saying 'before'.
"I would never do that to anyone." I told him, sniffling a little more. "I may be an asshole, I'll be the first to say it, but I would never lead someone on, regardless of how much I'm dared, only to painfully dump them in the end for a few laughs." I wiped my eyes again. "That's cruel and heartless and rude. I don't date because I know that will never happen to me with one night stands. They are what they are."
"It doesn't excuse my actions and I don't know what Ray's told you, but I got stuck in one of those situations before where I fell for someone only to have them tell me it was all a joke. It really hurt because I really liked them. Ever since, I've secluded myself from everyone but my brother and Ray because I don't want it to happen again." Gerard spoke quietly and painfully, probably trying to suppress certain memories about that time.
"I'm really sorry. I don't understand why anyone would do that to someone." I said, finally calm again. "I'm just so lost all of a sudden. I don't know what I want or what to do. It's like everything keeps spinning around me and I just-" I sighed and pressed my face into my ripped jeans. I felt Gerard place a hand on my shoulder and gently rub it.
"Think about what makes you happy; like, truly happy." Gerard told me. "For me, it's drawing. When I draw, everything around me seems to make sense and I feel relaxed. Do something that will help you escape and relax. And as far as your friend goes, if he's your best friend he'll be upset for a bit but he'll get over it and you'll move on. Apologize and give him space to cool down. He'll still be your friend in the end." I smiled and nodded some, blinking my eyes to clarify my vision.
"You know, I don't even want to go to the dance anymore really. I don't like being expected to go to every social event in this place simply because I'm popular. God; I don't even know how I became popular in the first place." I said with confusion.
"Popularity all depends on how you're perceived by your peers." Gerard said and for whatever reason, I laughed a little, lifting my head off my knees and letting them fall flat before me. "My guess is you're popular because you're good looking, not afraid to be yourself, stand up for what you believe, protect your friends, you don't let rules contain you, and you don't give up on anything easily." I laughed at the last one because he was referring to my chasing him.
"I feel so bad about all this because it's all centered around my getting dared to get you to the dance and kiss you in front of everyone. I should have just streaked." Gerard stared laughing, removing his hand from my shoulder.
"Streaked?!" He asked through his gasping breaths.
"Yeah, that's how we play 'truth or dare'. If you don't accept a dare you have to strip and streak across the school grounds." I said with a smile and Gerard fell backwards with laughter. "Haven't you seen or heard Pete do it? He streaks like once a week."
"Why?" Gerard gasped out and I shrugged.
"Maybe he likes being naked." That made Gerard laugh harder. "Pete likes to break rules and get attention. Streaking across school gets him both."
"Wow." Gerard said, calming himself down. "That's really fucked up."
"It's a lot of fun. You know Ray's been hanging out with us lately." I laid back against the ground next to him, staring at the fluffy white clouds slowly move along the big blue sky.
"I haven't heard much from him lately." Gerard said quietly, crossing his arms behind his head to form a pillow for himself. "I don't think Mikey has either. The last place I would have expected him was with the popular kids."
"He's been hanging around with Bob, Bryar, a lot." I said.
"I would have never imagined those two." Gerard said with shock.
"I never imagined us." I said quietly.
"Honey, there's no 'us'." Gerard sat back up. "At least not yet." He smirked then jumped to his feet, heading back towards the willow before I had time to even realize what happened. I sat up, hastily grabbed my bag, and went after him. "God; can't I go anywhere without you fucking following me?" Gerard asked with a heavy sigh and greatly confused me.
"Wait; you came to me first." I said, my eyebrows pushing together as I had to walk faster just to keep up with him.
"You were crying; it disturbed the tranquility. I wanted to shut you up." He replied with a shrug.
"Are you like bipolar or something?" I asked with annoyance. Gerard sighed and stopped, grabbing my shoulders.
"Why do you like me?" He asked, his voice a little bored.
"Well.... "I had to think of a way to put it into words. "You're strong minded, you have quite an attitude, and you don't go over the top to try to please me or become my friend. Hell, you do the opposite."
"Exactly." Gerard smirked some more. "What happened back there was because you were upset and needed someone to talk to." He pushed my bangs aside to look me more in the eyes.
"O...k..." I looked at him with immense confusion. Gerard sighed heavily, rolling his eyes and letting his head fall back for a moment before looking at me again.
"God all the pretty boys are always incredibly stupid." Gerard said to himself. "Ok, let me break this down for you Frankie;" I felt myself blush a little at the nickname. "You said you like me because of the way I treat you, right?" I nodded. "I'm not always a rude ass but for whatever reason you like me ignoring you and giving you problems."
"No I like how you talk back to me and really make me put effort into getting you to talk." I corrected Gerard because I don't appreciate the ignoring and the rudeness.
"Whatever just shut up and listen." Gerard said so I bit my bottom lip to keep my mouth shut. "If I become all nice and such you won't like me anymore."
"That's not true. How you act has-"
"Frank shut the fuck up until I'm done!" Gerard snapped and I smiled before his hand clamped over my mouth. "You technically haven't gotten real far in your great quest so you might want to reexamine your approach." Gerard smiled and removed his hand.
"Do I have a chance?" I asked casually as I gazed up at him.
"You might." Gerard replied before he grabbed my shoulders again and suddenly put his lips against mine in a quick yet gentle kiss. "Dance is in three days." He whispered to me with a slim smile. "Good luck." Gerard said before he suddenly pushed me backwards into the pond. I fell completely under the water before shooting back up because it was freezing. Gerard blew me a kiss then turned and walked away as though nothing happened. I watched him disappear, laughing to myself before pulling myself out of the water and hugging myself as I headed back to the table; in a far greater mood than when I left.
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