Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Lasting Impressions

Substitute Babysitter

by killxsmile 4 reviews

It begins?

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Humor - Published: 2009-02-27 - Updated: 2009-02-28 - 1140 words - Complete

Author's Note: Lmao. From the reviews on the last chapter, I understand that you all enjoyed the bit about a rabid transvestite army. I will keep that in mind for future chapters ;)

On another note, instead of ranting about my lack of a prom date, I decided to channed my energy into writing.

somethingorother: You were correct in your conjecture. Pretty sure you'll like this one.

Tissamy: Yep. I felt that some comic relief was in order after the post-break up sadness.

HellOnHigh9: Keep reading and you'll find out Chloe's fate.

MCR8050: Lmao. For fear of an attack from aforementioned army, here is an update.

AllTimeJack96: Glad to hear you like the story!

Onto the chapter...

Substitute babysitter.

“According to Theophrastus” Mona read, “you should only dig up a peony at night, because if a woodpecker sees you doing it, you’ll go blind. If the woodpecker sees you cutting the plant’s roots, your anus will prolapse.”
And Helen says, “I wish I had a fish…”

A knock on the door caused me to look up from reading. After folding the corner of the page, I set my copy of Chuck Palahniuk’s “Lullaby” on the coffee table and answered the door.

Through the peephole, I saw Alex standing there with his hands in his pockets. Curious, I opened the door.

“Hi, Alex,” I said, surprised. “What brings you here to my apartment on this sunny afternoon?”

I stood aside so he could walk in.

“Can’t a guy just stop by to hang out with one of his friends?”

I raised my eyebrows and shot him a look that asked ‘do you really think I’d fall for that?’

Other than the occasional ‘Chloe-I’m-really-plastered-right-now-could-you-pick-me-up?’ visit, the guys rarely came over to my place unless they were tagging along with Jack.

It only took a few seconds before he cracked.

“Fine,” he admitted. “Your brother wanted me to make sure that you weren’t going out and breaking any more bones.”
“I didn’t break any bones. I just fractured my wrist.”
“Well, you know Jack.” He took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. “He’d freak out if you had a paper cut.”
“Then why isn’t he the one babysitting me?”
“Didn’t wanna seem overbearing.” I rolled my eyes.
“Since when does he care about that?”

My words came out a bit harsher than I wanted, but they got my point across.

“Hey, easy now,” he said, raising his hands in defense. “I’m only the messenger.”
“Sorry, Alex.”

After apologizing, I drew my knees up to my chest and sighed.

“It’s just… I feel like he doesn’t think I can take care of myself.”
“It’s not that he doesn’t trust you…” he said, leaning back into the couch. “I think he’s scared that if he doesn’t check up on you so much, you’ll realize you don’t need him.”

The frustration that I had pent up quickly subsided as his words sank in.

“I’ll always need him. He’s my brother.”

He shrugged.

“I don’t think he knows that.”
“Well, I guess I’m a crappy sister then, huh?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood. He looked down and skewed his mouth to the side, unsure of what to say.

“…Can I sign your cast?” he asked, aware that we were in need of a change in topic.

I quickly grabbed a Sharpie off the coffee table and handed it to him.
“You get to be the first.”
“I get to pop the cherry? Sweet!”

I chuckled, then propped my arm onto his knee while he thought of something to write. After a few seconds of contemplation, he pressed the marker to my cast.

Sticks and stones can break your bones, but bikes can only fracture.
I hope this heals up soon so I can destroy you in arm wrestling.

Then he signed his name, which consisted of a big ‘A’ followed by illegible scribbles. I smiled at the message then leaned back into the couch.

“So what do we do now?” I asked tucking my legs underneath me.
“I was hoping you had a plan,” he admitted. “I was thinking me could play videogames or something, but with your wrist fucked up, I don’t think that would be the smartest thing to do.”
“What do you have?”
“Lots of stuff.”

I peeled myself off the couch and made my way toward my collection of DVDs.

“The Breakfast Club, Anchorman, Lucky # Slevin, Science of Sleep, Broken Lizard’s Club Dread, Sin City, all the Saw movies, Fight Club, Requiem For a Dream, Dark Knight, Pirates of the Caribbean 1-3, Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Garden State, Martian Child, 21, Wristcutters, S.L.C. Punk--”
“That one.”
“Have you watched it before?”
“It’s a sin if you haven’t,” he said, matter-of-factly. “Satan is in the house. He killed my mom and turned her into a bull,” he quoted.

I smiled and let out a nostalgic sigh.

“After the first time I saw this movie, I had huge crush of Devon Sawa.”
“But he looked so trashed and strung out,” Alex said, with a borderline disgusted look on his face.
“Hey, I had a weird taste in guys back then.”

He chuckled. I let out a laugh as I got up from the couch once again.

“I’ll make some popcorn.”

I returned to the living room 2 minutes, 45 seconds later. By that time, Alex had gotten bored and fast forwarded through the previews.

I plopped back onto the couch and set the bowl of popcorn in between us while the opening credits rolled.

Around the part where Stevo was introducing the crazy German drug dealer, my eyelids started to feel heavy.

“Crap, what’s going on?” I groggily asked, lifting my head from a rather warm pillow. It ended up being Alex’s shoulder.
“You fell asleep in the middle of the movie,” Alex replied, chuckling as he flipped through the channels.
“What part did I get up to?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.
“Right after Stevo, Eddie, and Heroin Bob got beer for the party.”

I raked my hand through my hair and sighed.

“So I didn’t even make it to the part where Sean was trying to get a job in retail?”
“God,” I said, yawning. “Sorry for being such a boring person to babysit.”
“No problem,” he said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. “I got free food and a movie. Hell, I should probably do this more often.”

As usual, I beseech thee to review.
It'll only take a moment of your time.

PS. While you're in the reading mood, go check out rawrlittledino and moocow's stuff. They're kind of AMAZING.
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