FicWad

I had never known so many emotions at one time. There was anger-- bitter, pulsing fury that made my fists clench weakly. Anger because I had thought, if only for a moment before everything fell apart, that things were finally going to be okay. Because I saw my life with Brendon so clearly for a second, saw that William would be a part of it as well, only to have it ripped away from me. Grief. I mourned the loss of William as much as the house's other inhabitants, though they'd known him so much better. It took me too long to realize that William was the key. The security, the hope, the strength. Without him, we were nothing. Lost, tired nothing.

I was relieved, because I was saved. Sick, because Brendon didn't want me. Sick because I wanted him so badly. Afraid, because we had no plan without William. Resentful toward whoever had hurt him. Defenseless, because we simply were.

But above all, I was exhausted. My fists were tired of clenching, my eyes tired of crying. I couldn't sleep, for my dreams were plagued with dark ballrooms and broken mirrors and Brendon walking away from me. Exhaustion because he sent his friend Bess, who's bed I learned I was tossing and crying and sweating in, with a needle full of his beautiful venom to give me one final round of healing. Exhaustion because of her sympathy. Because I kept standing up and sitting back down, trying so fucking hard to figure something out. Because William was finally with his love, his Harper, and I was finally alone again. Exhaustion because days had already passed, and I was still stuck.



I tried to keep count. Four, maybe five days? Light poured into the room, waking me from my uneasy sleep. Something had to happen today. Anything.

As I stood and stretched, I realized that the house was unusually quiet. Usually there were voices, muted and hushed, but there. Today, there was silence. I stayed standing for a few more minutes, and when I didn't feel the dull pain in my bones after a while, I decided I could finally take a shower. Quietly I crept from the room, unsure if it was empty or not.

I padded down the hallway wearing nothing but the underclothes Bess had been so kind to bring me and a blanket wrapped tightly around my body, but stopped when I reached a sitting room. It was sunny and bright, a very cheery room with pale wood floors and mismatched furniture. The curtains were pulled back so that the window revealed the busy street outside. Bess was seated in a reading chair by the window, a book pressed spine-up in her lap and a smile on her face.

“You finally came out,” she mused. I smiled weakly in response. Bess had seemed nice enough, when she introduced herself. She was a motherly woman, very attentive and sympathetic. Her pleasant, pale face was framed with short brown curls, and she had wide almond-shaped eyes. She didn't look like a vampire, in the stereotypical sense of the word.

“Yeah,” I muttered, shifting my weight awkwardly. “I was wondering... if I could maybe take a shower?”

“Of course, of course!” She stood hurriedly and led my down the hall to the bathroom. “Everything you need is in here. Brendon went out and bought it all the night they found you. He also bought you some clothes, I'll bring those to you in a minute.”

Sick. Sick because I'd heard all this before.
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Yeah, thanks. And... thanks for everything. Letting us stay, and all.”

She smiled gently and patted my arm. Her hand was ice cold-- so far the only vampire trait I'd noticed in her. “It's the very least I can do, Katelynn. Brendon and William are...,” her eyes closed sadly for a moment. “Were. They were both my very good friends, and I know how much you mean to Bren.”

Grief. Sickness. I nodded, trying to hold my tears in until she left. “Thanks. W-where is he now? B-brendon?”

Bess sighed, shaking her head and making her curls bounce. “He's very upset. Understandably, of course. We all are. He went out for a while, to eat and such. Bless that boy,” she finished sadly.

I nodded again, and then she left closing the door behind her. I started the water in the shower before dropping the blanket and undressing. In the vanity mirror, I examined myself closely.

I looked terrible. The bruises were healing, had turned a sickly yellow colour that stood out on every inch of my normally ivory skin. My hair was greasy and unkempt. My eyes were red and swollen from crying. Disgusted, I stepped into the shower and started washing away the lifetimes of horror that had accumulated on my skin in the past few days. I watched in detached awe as all the pain and heartbreak swirled down the drain at my feet.




This is just how it has to be from now on, I told myself. Brendon returned later that day, looking as exhausted as I felt. Looking as though he was feeling exactly what I did, whatever that was. I decided to stay out of the bedroom for a while, in hopes that I could find something out. A plan, a surrender. Just some information. I received nothing of the sort, though. Brendon didn't talk to me, didn't even look at me if he could avoid it. Sometimes good things just have to end, so this is how it has to be, I thought as listened to the sitting room's clock tick.

The room was still and quiet, except for the cars racing down the busy London street outside. I was seated rigidly on a big olive-coloured couch, my hands clasped together and my eyes on the floor. Brendon's position mirrored mine from the reading chair by the window. Bess, still gentle and altruistic in an extreme, still completely unaware of what had gone on between me and Brendon, let us alone to go make a pot of tea for me. I genuinely appreciated everything she was doing for me-- for us-- but tea was just unnecessary. She insisted, however, that it would make me feel better about William. Give Brendon and me some time to grieve together. All it really created was an outstanding awkwardness.

My mind was in two separate, distinct pieces (much like my heart). On one side, there was the overwhelming desire to simply run to Brendon and cry into his soft embrace. Hold him tight, until he stopped trying to push me away. I wanted to apologize for being so careless with my words, tell him that I love him and need him more than anything. On the other, I yearned to slap his perfect, beautiful face (for what little good it would do) and scream at him for being so stupid.

I sighed, frustrated. I knew I couldn't do either of those things.

There was a clatter of dishes from the kitchen, and I looked up at the same time Brendon did. His eyes caught mine and his expression was blank.

Was. He held my gaze, though he seemed to be concentrating on something else. A feeble light flickered in his dead brown eyes. His lips moved to form words, but no sound came out. I stared back, confused.

And then the light grew more pronounced and stable. “Not possible...” he muttered, still seeing through me.

“Bren?” I asked cautiously. His eyes seemed to slide back into focus, but he continued to look at me. His whole face was changing, lighting up like his eyes. It scared me. “What's the matter?”

Bess pushed through the kitchen door backwards, balancing a cup of tea in one hand and a biscuit tin in the other. As she approached me with the food, she caught a glimps of Brendon's suddenly maniac expression.

“What's with him?” she asked, seeming as concerned as I was.

“I-I don't...”

Brendon let out a loud, exuberant laugh. Bess and I exchanged a scared look. Was something happening to him?

“He's coming!” Brendon shouted, standing up. His perfect face broke into laugher once more as he repeated the words “he's coming” over and over.

“Who, Bren?” we both asked at the same time. But Brendon just laughed, eyes bright with unexplained joy.

Then suddenly I was the only sane one left in the room. Bess had dropped the tin and saucer she was holding. The cup shattered, spilling the hot tea all over the wood floor. Her face broke into a smile like Brendon's as I stared incredulously.

“Dear God,” she whispered.

“What?” I asked loudly.

Without a reply, the two vampires ran to the front door and threw it open.

“Who is coming?” I nearly yelled when I caught up to them on the porch. “What is going on?”

Brendon turned his glorious face to me, placing his hands on my shoulders. For a second, it felt like he was going to kiss me.

“William is coming. He's alive!”

Half a minute later, William's lanky form came bounding into view. All four of us donned the same comically joyous expression as he took the stairs in one great inhuman leap. All of a sudden, things didn't feel so hopeless anymore.

“William...” Brendon muttered as he embraced his brother tightly. “I thought... I mean, I knew--”

“I told you, you give up too quickly Bren,” William laughed.

“I'll work on it,” Brendon said breathlessly as he let William hug Bess. Then he turned to me.

Unsure of how to greet him, I gave a small wave. He laughed again and rolled his eyes before pulling me into a cool hug. I returned it eagerly, letting relief wash over me with his touch.

“I was so worried...” I muttered into his shoulder. William rubbed my back soothingly.

“How do you think I've felt all week? I'm so glad you're okay, Katelynn.”

He released me, but kept one arm around my shoulders and looped the other around Bess. “Lets go inside. We've got a lot to talk about.”

“Fucking right, we do,” Brendon said with a smile. It was obvious how glad he was to have his best friend back.


Once inside, Brendon took a seat on the couch and Bess in the chair. The smashed cup of tea went completely ignored with the delight of having William back. William pulled me to the couch with him, sandwiching me tightly between him and Brendon. I remembered-- he didn't know yet, either. He looked happily down at me, clearly proud of his newfound acceptance of our relationship, and I tried to smile back.

Bess was the first to speak.

“What the hell happened to you, Bill? I swear, only you could come back from a fight with the fucking Sangladri looking like that-- not a hair out of place!”

I looked him over, surprised at what I saw. Bess was right: his clothes were as perfect as days before, there wasn't a scratch on his porcelain skin. You would have never known that he'd just come from fighting a powerful group of vampires. He chuckled at my surprised face.

“The fighting really wasn't as bad as you're thinking,” he said thoughtfully.

“Then what took you so long?” Brendon asked, leaning forward to see around me.

“Well... my main concern was making sure the two of you weren't followed. It was going good for the most part. I thought I had them--”

“But there were at least ten of them!” My mouth dropped open. I could not imagine William's skinny, proper body fighting a whole room full of those terrible monsters by himself. He merely smiled at my shocked exclamation.

“I've had a lot of practice, Katelynn. I'm old as dirt, remember?”

I shook my head with respect. “You're... unbelievable.”

He looped his arm back around my shoulders. “I won't deny that.” I saw Brendon throw a quick glare at William's arm. His head turned sharply, however, when he noticed my confused gaze. He didn't want me. Why did it matter to him? William continued.

“Anyways, I was definitely kicking Sangladri ass. Then Gerard seemed to get... distracted. It was weird, he called off the fight like that,” he snapped his fingers, “and started yelling at this other guy about being a traitor. Apparently... well, did you notice how easily you guys made it out of the house, Bren? Apparently this guy was suppose to be watching the door, but he just let you pass. I can't imagine why.

But everything just stopped for a minute. Like they just forgot about me. So I started trying to get the hell out of there, of course, and... well, this is embarrassing, but Gerard just kind of snapped back into focus as soon as I moved, and he caught me.” A gasp echoed around the room. “He still didn't fight, though. He still seemed really distracted. But he locked me in the basement with that other guy. Took four of those bastards to get me down there,” he added proudly.

“So is that where you've been? Why didn't he just kill you? Er, not that I'm complaining,” Brendon said quickly. He chuckled at the last part.

“Yeah, that's where I've been,” William said, tucking a piece of hair behind his ear. “He said he wouldn't kill me until he had you, that I would watch you die first, Katelynn. I didn't understand at first, but the guy, the traitor guy, explained it to me. When you first got there, it was right after you'd been with me. You still had some of my venom in your system, even, from when I fixed that gash on your cheek,” Brendon shifted uncomfortably beside me, but I ignored him, “so my scent was strong on you. I'll give them this much, it was a close guess. But they think you belong to me! Like, that we're mated the way you and Bren are!”

Was it really a good time to bring it up? I coughed, unsure. “William, we--”

“Then what happened?” Brendon interrupted, staring intently at William. I rolled my eyes.

“I got out. Another fight broke out, but... well, this is the weirdest part. I didn't do it alone. That guy was still in there with me-- Gerard said he wouldn't kill him if they found you, that he was too important to him-- and he helped me get out. He fought them with me! He was still in there when I got away, but I'm pretty sure he got out as well. His name was... Fred? Fr...”

“Frank?” I asked loudly.

“Yeah, that's it. Did you... know him?”

“Sort of, yeah,” I smiled, full of gratitude for Frank. “He was with me a lot when I was there. He... helped me, too.”

Suddenly, I felt a hand gripping my arm tightly.

“Ow, Bren!”

“You made friends with a Sangladri? How stupid are you?” he growled, his breath hitting my face.

“He was nice, he brought me food and kept me company! Not like it's any of your business. Let go.”

He released me and looked away, cursing under his breath.

William gave us a suspicious look before going on with his story. “Right. So I got out and ran for a while to make sure they didn't follow me. And here I am.”

“Wow,” I heard Bess mutter. I leaned back into William's embrace; Brendon's attack left me needing the contact.

“Yeah,” he said, pressing his cheek into my hair. I felt a tear slip past my eye and down my face. “But now I want to hear what happened to you, Katelynn. If you're up to telling, I mean.”

Sure, I was up to telling. But I only wanted William to hear, because he needed to full story. Maybe he could help. Maybe he could save me, like he always managed to do.


Brendon;

From the kitchen window, I watched them make the circuit of Bess's tiny fenced-in back yard over and over again. I watched as Katelynn's gorgeous face changed expressions so quickly and so drastically that I knew without listening what she was saying. She unconsciously hugged herself when she got to the part about fighting Gerard. With jealous eyes I watched as William pulled at one of her hands and held it tightly as they walked. I knew that it was nothing like what I'd had with her-- that William was just a friend to her, or a brother-- but I still wished I could be the one listening to her story and comforting her.

With bitter humor, I realized that it wouldn't work like that anyways. I was the reason she needed comforting in the first place. Eventually, she would have stopped accepting it from me. It had to happen one way or the other. I just sped up the process. She'd see that some day.

When I saw them turn to come inside the house, I moved quickly away from the window. William knew I was watching, of course, but Katelynn didn't need to know. Before I could get very far, though, William cleared his throat, still outside. He knew I could hear him, though. So much for Katelynn not knowing I was watching.

“Brendon. We need to talk.”

I cursed under my breath, then sighed. “Okay.”

When Katelynn and William entered the kitchen from the back door, they were still holding hands, but William had dropped the comforting demeanor. He looked furious.

“What the hell are you thinking? Why are you doing this?”

“Because it's safer for her. I can't hurt her if I don't get close enough.”

Katelynn closed her eyes miserably. I tried not to notice, not to care.
“That's stupid,” Will said, shaking his head. “You love her, she loves you. You won't hurt her anymore, Bren.”

“How can you know that?” Wasn't it William who was fighting my point only days ago? And I, his? What had changed? “And why do you care? This is what you wanted before.”

“I didn't... I didn't know you meant so much to her, before. She's a mess without you, Brendon, you can see that.”

Silently, I cursed him for saying that in front of her. Tactless. “It's better, Bill. Easier.”

“Easier?” Katelynn's small voice croaked from behind William.

“Yes, easier,” I spat, frustrated. “For me. I don't have to worry about hurting you anymore.”

“You didn't worry before.” She sounded close to tears.

“I didn't have your blood on my hands, then, Katelynn. It's different now.”

William spoke this time. “How?”

“It just is! Besides, don't act like you're too torn up about it, William. You're doing just fine with helping her through this.” I glared pointedly at their hands, still clasped almost mockingly.

“You know as well as I do, Brendon, that it's not like that at all. You're being stupid.”

“Sure. Sure I am. Of course I am.”

With fury I watched as Katelynn's small hand came to rest on William's shoulder and she leaned up to whisper to him.

“Bill, just drop it... it's his choice.”

She called him Bill now? I simply glared, waiting, as he leaned down to her.

“It's the wrong choice, and you know it. But you're right...” He spoke louder, to both of us. “We have to make a plan. As much as I hate to say it, we don't really have much time here.”

Both Katelynn and I nodded. A plan was something I could handle.



sorry, i've been trying to finish a rubiks cube.
or something.
xoxo