(#) RocketQueen1 2009-01-27Sounds like a good start so far. :]
Just a couple of things;
It might help to run a final spell check, or read over it yourself, I noticed a couple of mistakes.
Also, it gets kinda hard to read text in a big block like that, so it might help to use paragraphs, or to insert a line break every so often to break it up a bit.
If you want any more help, or would like a Beta Reader, feel free to PM me. :)
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