Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > And I'll End This Direst: a Frerard story
Chapter 22
4 reviewsTorn between what we want and what we get. Also, glimpse of Mikey's perspective.
2Original
okay. so, ficwad apparently doesn't send me emails anymore about reviews i get for my story. so while bored, i decided to randomly go to ficwad to read stories (it's addictive!) and i log in and click on my reviews page...
AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF UNREAD REVIEWS ON HERE THAT HAVEN'T BEEN GETTING THROUGH TO ME! and all this time, i though y'all haven't been reviewing because nothing shows up in my inbox! D=
i apologize for seeming like a review-hungry-whore-bitch when all along, people were reviewing nearly EVERY CHAPTER.
y'all are amazing. sorry i didn't acknowledge it before =/ here's another update, just for y'all. and thanks again for reviewing. i love you people
Frank's POV
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid.
If I had been smart, I would still have my best friend and my boyfriend—I loved that, I had a boyfriend—but not anymore. Because I was stupid, I now have neither, and that was the worst pain I’d ever endured.
As I slowly made my way home, I realized I had forgotten to go to my detention. Oh well, screw it. I still had all week to go.
I opened my front door and stepped inside. My mom wasn’t home, and there was no note explaining where she was. This came as no surprise to me, and the loneliness made me miss Gerard. Why was it that you really wanted something after you couldn’t have it?
Finding Pansy on the couch in the same spot where Gerard left her yesterday, I slipped the shoulder strap over my head and played a few chords, warming up. After a few minutes, I stopped.
My only therapy wasn’t working.
I sighed and wondered if it would be wise to go talk to Gerard. Maybe explaining to him what really happened would make me feel better. That is, if he wasn’t still too mad at me to listen.
I had to say, Gerard scared the hell out of me today. I honestly thought he was going to start hitting me, like my parents do. The way he grabbed my shoulders and shook me like that; not only did it hurt me physically because of the bruises, but it hurt mentally and emotionally, too.
I’d never seen Gerard so angry, and the fact that I was the one he was angry at… I didn’t want to be afraid of Gerard, and I hoped he hadn’t meant to hurt me. But he did nonetheless, and he didn’t let go when I tried to get away, and that scared me the most. Not being able to escape, unable to get away.
I decided not to go talk to Gerard yet after all; instead I put on a movie, feeling depressed and alone.
Gerard’s POV
Oh, God. I finished off the rest of the bottles in my closet, and it hadn’t even been two hors since I got home from school. I could hardly see straight, but I didn’t feel numb enough yet. I could still make rational decisions, which was usually a sign that I wasn’t drunk enough and still vulnerable to pain. It was sad that that’s the way I see things, but what did you expect with a past like mine?
I needed more to drink. I needed to forget.
I knew a place where I could get a whole lot of drinks, but would I want to risk running into Frankie in his own house?
Hell yes I would. Screw Frank. Anything for another drink.
Frank's POV
Not even half an hour into the movie, I got bored and decided I was going to talk to Gerard after all. I couldn’t take him being mad at me, even if he did scare me today. I’m sure he’d gotten over it, though. It’s been a few hours; maybe he’s blown off some steam since school.
I left a note for my mom, made sure I had the money Elena gave me for groceries (since I’d be stopping at the grocery store after I talked to Gerard), and closed the door behind me. I would be taking the long way to Gerard’s house, just in case he still needed a little more time to calm down.
Gerard’s POV
I arrived at Frank's house a few minutes later. There was a note on the door: Mom, I’m at a friend’s house. Be back soon. Frank. I laughed out loud. A friend’s house. He was probably over at Eric’s, still making fun of fags like me.
Without knocking to make sure his mom wasn’t already there, I pushed his front door open and made my way to the kitchen, smiling at the thousands of bottles of alcohol smiling back at me. I had even brought my bookbag to put them in. When it was full, I stuffed smaller bottles into my jacket pockets.
Within minutes, I had everything I needed, and left to go back to my house.
Frank's POV
I knocked on Gerard’s door again: still no answer. “Gerard?” I called again. “Elena?” Nothing.
Oh well, I’d have to try again another time. Sadly, I turned and walked across his yard, continuing up the street to the grocery store instead of down the street to my house.
Mikey’s POV
I looked around my strangely empty room at the cardboard boxes that were piled up against the wall. I looked out at my view of the city from my bedroom window; I would miss Chicago more than words could describe.
I hated Jersey; why were we going back? I suddenly heard Anthrax play from my back pocket. My cell phone was ringing. I picked it up and looked at the screen. Oh, good, Eric was calling me.
“Eric! How’s it going, man?” I asked, putting what was left of my belongings in a nearby box.
“Nothing much. How’s the packing going?”
“Almost done. We’re supposed to be moved out of here by the end of this week. Dude, we’ll be in Jersey before I thought we would.”
“That’s good. Hey, I just found out today that your brother goes to my school.”
“Gerard does?” I asked, a feeling of hate rushing through my veins.
“Yeah, your brother, Gerard. But that’s not all: remember Frank Iero, the kid I was telling you about when I moved here? My…” I noticed he paused, choosing his next words carefully. “…Old best friend?”
“Yeah. You always had a lot of good things to say about Frankie. What about him?” I replied.
“Well, did you know that little Frankie Iero is your brother’s boyfriend?”
“What?!” I screamed into the phone. “God, don’t say things like that when I’m holding breakable shit. I almost believed you there for a second.”
“I’m serious. My old best friend and your brother are… doing each other. Frank told me himself.”
I nearly dropped my phone. “Oh, God, I didn’t need to know that. I’m gonna—”
“Sorry, man. But when you get here, then we’ll start the party, okay?”
“Sounds good, dude. Here, let me go, and I’ll see you in Jersey in about a week.”
“Alright, man. See you soon.”
I hung up my phone and tossed it to my bed, forgetting that there was no bed there anymore. It fell to the floor with a loud thunk.
Not only did my brother still have a boyfriend, but it was Eric’s best friend. That guy I talked to on the phone while Gerard was in the shower was Frank, who Eric had told me so much good stuff about. God, people these days. You never know who you can trust not to change anymore.
I told Gerard I was going to get rid of his boyfriend, but I didn’t know it was going to be Frankie Iero that I was going to have to get rid of. I sighed; why did Gerard have to be so… abnormal? I mean, he was fine when we were kids, back when we were close. That’s right, when Gerard and I were younger, we would do everything together. We were inseparable. But when he entered seventh grade, that’s when things between us changed.
I didn’t want to hurt Gerard like this, but I really had no choice. I was determined to make him as normal as could be, just like old times. If that meant going as far as killing somebody, then by God, I would do it.
I have before.
AND THERE ARE MILLIONS OF UNREAD REVIEWS ON HERE THAT HAVEN'T BEEN GETTING THROUGH TO ME! and all this time, i though y'all haven't been reviewing because nothing shows up in my inbox! D=
i apologize for seeming like a review-hungry-whore-bitch when all along, people were reviewing nearly EVERY CHAPTER.
y'all are amazing. sorry i didn't acknowledge it before =/ here's another update, just for y'all. and thanks again for reviewing. i love you people
Frank's POV
I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t believe I’d been so stupid.
If I had been smart, I would still have my best friend and my boyfriend—I loved that, I had a boyfriend—but not anymore. Because I was stupid, I now have neither, and that was the worst pain I’d ever endured.
As I slowly made my way home, I realized I had forgotten to go to my detention. Oh well, screw it. I still had all week to go.
I opened my front door and stepped inside. My mom wasn’t home, and there was no note explaining where she was. This came as no surprise to me, and the loneliness made me miss Gerard. Why was it that you really wanted something after you couldn’t have it?
Finding Pansy on the couch in the same spot where Gerard left her yesterday, I slipped the shoulder strap over my head and played a few chords, warming up. After a few minutes, I stopped.
My only therapy wasn’t working.
I sighed and wondered if it would be wise to go talk to Gerard. Maybe explaining to him what really happened would make me feel better. That is, if he wasn’t still too mad at me to listen.
I had to say, Gerard scared the hell out of me today. I honestly thought he was going to start hitting me, like my parents do. The way he grabbed my shoulders and shook me like that; not only did it hurt me physically because of the bruises, but it hurt mentally and emotionally, too.
I’d never seen Gerard so angry, and the fact that I was the one he was angry at… I didn’t want to be afraid of Gerard, and I hoped he hadn’t meant to hurt me. But he did nonetheless, and he didn’t let go when I tried to get away, and that scared me the most. Not being able to escape, unable to get away.
I decided not to go talk to Gerard yet after all; instead I put on a movie, feeling depressed and alone.
Gerard’s POV
Oh, God. I finished off the rest of the bottles in my closet, and it hadn’t even been two hors since I got home from school. I could hardly see straight, but I didn’t feel numb enough yet. I could still make rational decisions, which was usually a sign that I wasn’t drunk enough and still vulnerable to pain. It was sad that that’s the way I see things, but what did you expect with a past like mine?
I needed more to drink. I needed to forget.
I knew a place where I could get a whole lot of drinks, but would I want to risk running into Frankie in his own house?
Hell yes I would. Screw Frank. Anything for another drink.
Frank's POV
Not even half an hour into the movie, I got bored and decided I was going to talk to Gerard after all. I couldn’t take him being mad at me, even if he did scare me today. I’m sure he’d gotten over it, though. It’s been a few hours; maybe he’s blown off some steam since school.
I left a note for my mom, made sure I had the money Elena gave me for groceries (since I’d be stopping at the grocery store after I talked to Gerard), and closed the door behind me. I would be taking the long way to Gerard’s house, just in case he still needed a little more time to calm down.
Gerard’s POV
I arrived at Frank's house a few minutes later. There was a note on the door: Mom, I’m at a friend’s house. Be back soon. Frank. I laughed out loud. A friend’s house. He was probably over at Eric’s, still making fun of fags like me.
Without knocking to make sure his mom wasn’t already there, I pushed his front door open and made my way to the kitchen, smiling at the thousands of bottles of alcohol smiling back at me. I had even brought my bookbag to put them in. When it was full, I stuffed smaller bottles into my jacket pockets.
Within minutes, I had everything I needed, and left to go back to my house.
Frank's POV
I knocked on Gerard’s door again: still no answer. “Gerard?” I called again. “Elena?” Nothing.
Oh well, I’d have to try again another time. Sadly, I turned and walked across his yard, continuing up the street to the grocery store instead of down the street to my house.
Mikey’s POV
I looked around my strangely empty room at the cardboard boxes that were piled up against the wall. I looked out at my view of the city from my bedroom window; I would miss Chicago more than words could describe.
I hated Jersey; why were we going back? I suddenly heard Anthrax play from my back pocket. My cell phone was ringing. I picked it up and looked at the screen. Oh, good, Eric was calling me.
“Eric! How’s it going, man?” I asked, putting what was left of my belongings in a nearby box.
“Nothing much. How’s the packing going?”
“Almost done. We’re supposed to be moved out of here by the end of this week. Dude, we’ll be in Jersey before I thought we would.”
“That’s good. Hey, I just found out today that your brother goes to my school.”
“Gerard does?” I asked, a feeling of hate rushing through my veins.
“Yeah, your brother, Gerard. But that’s not all: remember Frank Iero, the kid I was telling you about when I moved here? My…” I noticed he paused, choosing his next words carefully. “…Old best friend?”
“Yeah. You always had a lot of good things to say about Frankie. What about him?” I replied.
“Well, did you know that little Frankie Iero is your brother’s boyfriend?”
“What?!” I screamed into the phone. “God, don’t say things like that when I’m holding breakable shit. I almost believed you there for a second.”
“I’m serious. My old best friend and your brother are… doing each other. Frank told me himself.”
I nearly dropped my phone. “Oh, God, I didn’t need to know that. I’m gonna—”
“Sorry, man. But when you get here, then we’ll start the party, okay?”
“Sounds good, dude. Here, let me go, and I’ll see you in Jersey in about a week.”
“Alright, man. See you soon.”
I hung up my phone and tossed it to my bed, forgetting that there was no bed there anymore. It fell to the floor with a loud thunk.
Not only did my brother still have a boyfriend, but it was Eric’s best friend. That guy I talked to on the phone while Gerard was in the shower was Frank, who Eric had told me so much good stuff about. God, people these days. You never know who you can trust not to change anymore.
I told Gerard I was going to get rid of his boyfriend, but I didn’t know it was going to be Frankie Iero that I was going to have to get rid of. I sighed; why did Gerard have to be so… abnormal? I mean, he was fine when we were kids, back when we were close. That’s right, when Gerard and I were younger, we would do everything together. We were inseparable. But when he entered seventh grade, that’s when things between us changed.
I didn’t want to hurt Gerard like this, but I really had no choice. I was determined to make him as normal as could be, just like old times. If that meant going as far as killing somebody, then by God, I would do it.
I have before.
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