FicWad

When they pulled apart, tears had streaked both of their faces. With one arm wrapped around her waist, Angel helped her stand. He led her into the cemetery, to the spot that made this place special to both of them. There was a blanket spread out next to a crypt.

"You prepared for this." Buffy said with a lilt to her voice.

"I did what I could. I got here early."

They settled onto the blanket. They didn't look at each other, because at that point, they didn't need to. She leaned her head against his chest, and he rested his cheek on the crown of her head.

"Buffy, I'm sorry this had to happen to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry you only had." Angel realized what he was about to say. "I'm sorry."

She had enough pity, "Don't be sorry, there was nothin. I only had what?"

He waited before answering. Was this the time to tell her? Was it time to come clean about everything? Would it help her or just hurt her?

She twisted, still staying in the circle of his arms. "What is it, Angel? What aren't you telling me?"

"Buffy, I.." He looked down, breaking eye contact.

"Angel," she placed a hand on his cheek. "I know." His gaze flew up to meet hers. "I know about the day you gave back. They showed me when I was.. It was good to know what we shared, even if I didn't remember it then. I'm sorry I forgot. I want to pretend that deep down, I didn't. As I left the office, it just felt like there was something I should remember, but couldn't." She took a deep breath. "I just wished we had more time."

"I only wished I had given you more time. If I had only known how much time I was giving you..."

"You did what you had to do, Angel. You did the right thing." She settled back into his arms.

"You weren't... you weren't in some Hell dimension like Willow thinks."

She laughed, a harsh and scary sound, a scared sound. "I should have figured you'd know." Her voice was cold. "No, I wasn't. I think I was in Heaven. Everything was over, everyone was alright. I felt safe. Then I was pulled away and I woke up in a coffin."

He held her tightly as the tears started again. Being buried alive was one of her greatest fears, right next to becoming a vampire. He glanced at her hands, and he was barely able to make out the very faint scars. She had to fight her way out. He pressed a kiss against the other faint scar she carried on her body. A scar he gave her once upon a time. A scar from when she was willing to give up her life to save his.

"I'm sorry," She said while forcing herself to calm down. "A crying Buffy probably isn't what you wanted tonight."

"Holding it in won't help, Buffy. It won't help at all. The Buffy Summers I knew has been missing for years. I saw her fading that day in my office, and she was gone when you came after Faith." She turned her face away from him, hurt and ashamed by his words. "No, Buffy, I didn't mean... I had no idea. I didn't know what we had done for each other. I saw how cold you had become. I saw how much you had to change, how much you had to hide your heart. But I never stopped loving you. Even when you were more someone else than you, I still loved you. Then I lost you."

"I knew... I think... I could kinda feel it. I think she left with you after Graduation."

"No, not left. She might be sleeping, but she's not gone. You have a chance to go back."

Buffy laughed, a hard painful sound. "Go back? All I want is to go back! I want to be wherever I was before They brought me back. Angel, this is all I could ever want. This is what It was like. I feel safe. I feel loved. I feel like all my problems are a hundred miles away. But that's the problem too. Because I realize even here, even in this tiny heaven on earth, my troubles may be miles away, but they're still out there. Eventually, we're going to stand up, and back away, and everything will be back. All the pain, all the loneliness will come pressing back, and I'm going to have to deal with it. I don't want to, Angel. I want to be back There. I want to feel... finished again.

He kissed her. She was surprised for a minute, but melted into his lips. She gave into to the best therapy around. His love. His devotion.

It was her roving hands undoing his belt that brought her back to her senses. She pulled away from him and took a deep breath. "Wow... That was almost very bad." He just pulled her back in his arms. They both felt her racing heartbeat, and waited until it slowed.

"I love you," she said softly, looking out over the cemetery, "not even death can change that." She cracked a small smile. "Believe me, I know."

"I love you, too. As long as I walk this earth, I'll be thinking about you."

"Maybe one of these days, you can do more than just think about me?"

"Maybe."

"Tell me a story, Angel. Prove to me there's something worth living for in this place."

"Once upon a time, in L.A. there was a vampire who had a soul. There was one thing this vampire wanted more than anything else; he wanted to be human. But this vampire knew this was impossible. Then, one day, the vampire learned that if he was very good, and made up for all the evil things he did before he had his soul, his one wish could be granted."

"Human, hu?"

"Hum."

"How much redemption do you have left?"

"Oh, probably just averting an apocalypse or two."

"On the Sunnydale plan, you'll be human before the end of the month."

He smiled and pressed a kiss on the top of her head. There they laid until the threat of sunrise drove them apart.