FicWad

Something is terribly wrong, and has been for months now. Sirius barely looks at me - never touches me. We don't even share a bed any more.

I've almost forgotten what it feels like to be loved by him. It's obvious he can barely stand to be in the same room as me.

I wonder who he has found. I wonder when he will tell me.

I wonder what I've done that has caused my star to withdraw his light from me.

The problem is, I've felt the same restraint from all of my friends. A subtle withdrawing. I suppose I should not have expected that they would want to continue friendship with me.

I am, after all, a fully-grown werewolf. A Dark Creature.

Voldemort has approached me. He wants my allegiance. As if!

Reluctantly, I've allowed myself to be persuaded by Dumbledore to go along for a while. He wants me to act as a spy for him. He said I'd not be alone - that there is another there who will ensure I am not harmed.

I wish I knew who it was.

Sirius must know what I am doing!

And still he withdraws.

Does he have any idea how much I am bleeding inside? The cessation of his love is almost impossible to bear.

And yet how arrogant of me to think that I would be the object of Sirius Black's eternal affection. After all, he's loved me for almost ten years now - so he was bound to be bored sooner or later.

I wish it was later.

Soon, I will have to leave. Have to go on this mission for Dumbledore. And Sirius will not even acknowledge my leaving.

My heart is breaking, and yet I know I must go on. And I know I will love him beyond the day I die.