Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > I'm Not One For Love Songs
I'm Not One For Love Songs (Part 6)
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I'm Not One For Love Songs
I walked to his room calmly with his breakfast in hand, it was nearly 9 already. I made sure to check in one of the passing windows and make sure that my face was masked perfectly with a calm façade. I just hope no one was laughing at me from the other side of the window. I probably should have checked that before I checked myself.
Oh well.
I opened the door and closed it quietly with my back still facing him. I really actually was hoping that he was still asleep.
I quietly took a breath and stood up straight facing him. I almost dropped the tray with the intense look he was giving me. It was like one of those scary owls in those kiddie movies that had the intense glowing eyes and that’s all you could see in the dark. His eyes were giving me a crazy intense look just like those owls.
“I asked for you,” was the first thing he said, still staring.
“Um, yes, I heard,” I said politely. I wasn’t gonna be nice to him but I couldn’t be rude to him either, I was his nurse. I had to take care of him for now.
He didn’t even have a reaction to my response, “So you’re my nurse?” he asked quietly.
“Yes,” I answered monotonously.
“Good,” he said simply.
I made sure to avoid having to look at his face as I placed his tray on the holders next to his bed.
“Do you hate me?” he asked simply after a few minutes of awkward, on my part, silence.
“Do you think I should hate you?” I said simply, letting a bit of annoyance seep through into my voice.
“I think you should give me a chance,” he answered immediately.
“I’m your nurse and nothing more. I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to make sure you don’t die, on my watch at least,” I said, my temper finally getting the best of me.
As I went to check his vitals there was another silence and then he spoke again, “You know, I didn’t try to commit suicide, that wasn’t the plan,” he said a bit sheepishly.
“So you accidentally took half a bottle of pills?” I asked him doubtfully, putting air quotes around ‘accidentally’.
“I just wanted to stop hurting… and it helped,” he finally couldn’t look into my eyes. When he did, I saw it. I saw all the sadness and angst and fear in his eyes with one look from him.
And now I suddenly felt like a bitch. Here I am snapping at the guy when he just almost died last night. Obviously something fucked up has happened in his life that made him the way he is now. And damn me, but I really want to find out what it is.
“Gabe, what happened to you?” I asked sadly, empathetically.
“A lot,” he whispered hoarsely, and I noticed the slight shake in his voice. I wouldn’t push any further, because I’m not sure what I could possibly do for him if he starts to cry.
“It’ll be fine eventually. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” I answered simply. He nodded somberly at my response and looked away. I took this as my sign to leave and I started to walk to the door slowly.
“Natty,” he called out quietly. My heart took a little leap. That was what he used to call me in high school. He had been the only one to ever call me by that name.
I turned around slowly, “Hmm?” I enquired.
“When does your shift end?” he asked curiously.
“It usually varies but tonight I’m getting off at 5,” I told him.
“Can you please visit me before you leave?” he said, shall I dare say- shyly?
“I am your nurse aren’t I?” I said simply, and with a wink I left the room. I could swear that I saw a ghost of a smile on his previously haunted looking face.
I went back to the main desk and spent the next 6 hours answering phones and filing paperwork. Sometimes I really hated my job, then I got a check and everything was worth it. Insert content smile right about here.
After I grabbed some lunch I had to go do my rounds again and give my 10 or so patients there lunches and adhere to their needs.
Sometimes I just wished I could be the patient and have people take care of me, but no, it’s always the other way around.
Not that I’m whining or anything…
When I reached Mrs. Winston’s room I smiled at the old song she was singing quite well, Que Sera Sera which was and old Doris Day song. I remember my grandma used to sing it to me when I was very young, before she had died when I was four.
“How are you doing today Mrs. Winston?” I asked her pleasantly.
“I’ll be honest with you deary, I am very bored,” she said honestly, with a thoughtful look on her face.
“Do you wanna play cards?” I offered, it was one of our traditions that we participated in every once in a while when things got awfully boring in St. Bernard’s.
“Hmm, not at the moment deary, I don’t feel very much like thinking,” she responded tiredly.
“The new medicine?” I asked, referring to the new medication she had been put on because of her arthritis. One of the side effects was temporary fogginess in the head.
She simply nodded.
“Well, we do have some books hidden behind the nurses desk for the times when we have nothing to do. I could probably sneak you some if you’re interested…” I hinted slyly.
She seemed to brighten up a bit at that idea, “What kind of books do you have exactly?” she questioned curiously.
“Well I know that Nurse May has a few of those hopeless romantic books stored there somewhere,” I answered knowing how much of a romantic she was.
“Oh yes, that sounds perfect. Those books remind me of my dear Arthur,” she remembered as pleasantly as possible. Arthur was her husband who had died 7 years ago. From what I had heard from her, I figured they might have been one of the few lucky people on this Earth to find true love.
“I’ll go get you some to chose from,” I said and got up and came back a few minutes later with some paperback books tucked underneath my arm.
“So here we’ve got Reckless Romance, Wordly Wound Lovers, and Anna’s Admirer,” I read off the choices to her.
“Any of those sounds perfectly fine, so you can pick for me,” she answered with a grin.
I picked a random book and saw that I had gotten Reckless Romance, “Want me to read it to you? It’s not like there’s much to do right now, most of the patients are sleeping,” I offered to her.
“Yes, please, my head is quite dizzy at the moment and I do not think I’d be very capable of reading,” she said gratefully.
Before I started to read she interrupted me, “Something will happen to you soon sweets, I just think that I should warn you. I have a weird feeling, but my feelings are usually correct with this stuff. I just think that you should be aware; your limits will be tested soon. You need to stay strong and work through it to reap the rewards,” she said honestly.
“I will keep that in mind Mrs. Winston,” I answered with a smile, while inside I was mentally freaking the hell out. What the fuck?
I just started reading though.
“Vanessa looked out her window sadly, wishing for adventure. Suddenly there was a knock on her door..” I read on as Mrs. Winston closed her eyes and listened to my voice peacefully.
As I kept reading to her my mind was in other places, what did she mean when she said that my limits will be tested? I was feeling nervous, and suddenly paranoid.
And I was also feeling curious; did this have anything to do with the sudden arrival of one Mr. Gabriel Saporta in my life?
I could almost 100% ensure that he had something to do with the upcoming disaster that would hit my life.
I better be prepared.
I walked to his room calmly with his breakfast in hand, it was nearly 9 already. I made sure to check in one of the passing windows and make sure that my face was masked perfectly with a calm façade. I just hope no one was laughing at me from the other side of the window. I probably should have checked that before I checked myself.
Oh well.
I opened the door and closed it quietly with my back still facing him. I really actually was hoping that he was still asleep.
I quietly took a breath and stood up straight facing him. I almost dropped the tray with the intense look he was giving me. It was like one of those scary owls in those kiddie movies that had the intense glowing eyes and that’s all you could see in the dark. His eyes were giving me a crazy intense look just like those owls.
“I asked for you,” was the first thing he said, still staring.
“Um, yes, I heard,” I said politely. I wasn’t gonna be nice to him but I couldn’t be rude to him either, I was his nurse. I had to take care of him for now.
He didn’t even have a reaction to my response, “So you’re my nurse?” he asked quietly.
“Yes,” I answered monotonously.
“Good,” he said simply.
I made sure to avoid having to look at his face as I placed his tray on the holders next to his bed.
“Do you hate me?” he asked simply after a few minutes of awkward, on my part, silence.
“Do you think I should hate you?” I said simply, letting a bit of annoyance seep through into my voice.
“I think you should give me a chance,” he answered immediately.
“I’m your nurse and nothing more. I’m not here to be your friend, I’m here to make sure you don’t die, on my watch at least,” I said, my temper finally getting the best of me.
As I went to check his vitals there was another silence and then he spoke again, “You know, I didn’t try to commit suicide, that wasn’t the plan,” he said a bit sheepishly.
“So you accidentally took half a bottle of pills?” I asked him doubtfully, putting air quotes around ‘accidentally’.
“I just wanted to stop hurting… and it helped,” he finally couldn’t look into my eyes. When he did, I saw it. I saw all the sadness and angst and fear in his eyes with one look from him.
And now I suddenly felt like a bitch. Here I am snapping at the guy when he just almost died last night. Obviously something fucked up has happened in his life that made him the way he is now. And damn me, but I really want to find out what it is.
“Gabe, what happened to you?” I asked sadly, empathetically.
“A lot,” he whispered hoarsely, and I noticed the slight shake in his voice. I wouldn’t push any further, because I’m not sure what I could possibly do for him if he starts to cry.
“It’ll be fine eventually. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” I answered simply. He nodded somberly at my response and looked away. I took this as my sign to leave and I started to walk to the door slowly.
“Natty,” he called out quietly. My heart took a little leap. That was what he used to call me in high school. He had been the only one to ever call me by that name.
I turned around slowly, “Hmm?” I enquired.
“When does your shift end?” he asked curiously.
“It usually varies but tonight I’m getting off at 5,” I told him.
“Can you please visit me before you leave?” he said, shall I dare say- shyly?
“I am your nurse aren’t I?” I said simply, and with a wink I left the room. I could swear that I saw a ghost of a smile on his previously haunted looking face.
I went back to the main desk and spent the next 6 hours answering phones and filing paperwork. Sometimes I really hated my job, then I got a check and everything was worth it. Insert content smile right about here.
After I grabbed some lunch I had to go do my rounds again and give my 10 or so patients there lunches and adhere to their needs.
Sometimes I just wished I could be the patient and have people take care of me, but no, it’s always the other way around.
Not that I’m whining or anything…
When I reached Mrs. Winston’s room I smiled at the old song she was singing quite well, Que Sera Sera which was and old Doris Day song. I remember my grandma used to sing it to me when I was very young, before she had died when I was four.
“How are you doing today Mrs. Winston?” I asked her pleasantly.
“I’ll be honest with you deary, I am very bored,” she said honestly, with a thoughtful look on her face.
“Do you wanna play cards?” I offered, it was one of our traditions that we participated in every once in a while when things got awfully boring in St. Bernard’s.
“Hmm, not at the moment deary, I don’t feel very much like thinking,” she responded tiredly.
“The new medicine?” I asked, referring to the new medication she had been put on because of her arthritis. One of the side effects was temporary fogginess in the head.
She simply nodded.
“Well, we do have some books hidden behind the nurses desk for the times when we have nothing to do. I could probably sneak you some if you’re interested…” I hinted slyly.
She seemed to brighten up a bit at that idea, “What kind of books do you have exactly?” she questioned curiously.
“Well I know that Nurse May has a few of those hopeless romantic books stored there somewhere,” I answered knowing how much of a romantic she was.
“Oh yes, that sounds perfect. Those books remind me of my dear Arthur,” she remembered as pleasantly as possible. Arthur was her husband who had died 7 years ago. From what I had heard from her, I figured they might have been one of the few lucky people on this Earth to find true love.
“I’ll go get you some to chose from,” I said and got up and came back a few minutes later with some paperback books tucked underneath my arm.
“So here we’ve got Reckless Romance, Wordly Wound Lovers, and Anna’s Admirer,” I read off the choices to her.
“Any of those sounds perfectly fine, so you can pick for me,” she answered with a grin.
I picked a random book and saw that I had gotten Reckless Romance, “Want me to read it to you? It’s not like there’s much to do right now, most of the patients are sleeping,” I offered to her.
“Yes, please, my head is quite dizzy at the moment and I do not think I’d be very capable of reading,” she said gratefully.
Before I started to read she interrupted me, “Something will happen to you soon sweets, I just think that I should warn you. I have a weird feeling, but my feelings are usually correct with this stuff. I just think that you should be aware; your limits will be tested soon. You need to stay strong and work through it to reap the rewards,” she said honestly.
“I will keep that in mind Mrs. Winston,” I answered with a smile, while inside I was mentally freaking the hell out. What the fuck?
I just started reading though.
“Vanessa looked out her window sadly, wishing for adventure. Suddenly there was a knock on her door..” I read on as Mrs. Winston closed her eyes and listened to my voice peacefully.
As I kept reading to her my mind was in other places, what did she mean when she said that my limits will be tested? I was feeling nervous, and suddenly paranoid.
And I was also feeling curious; did this have anything to do with the sudden arrival of one Mr. Gabriel Saporta in my life?
I could almost 100% ensure that he had something to do with the upcoming disaster that would hit my life.
I better be prepared.
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