Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Seize the Day
Chapter 5
Waking up the next morning was hell. I had a horrible hangover and to top it off my throat was so raw I felt like I had swallowed glass. The only things I could remember from last night was us arriving at the club and then us leaving cause Aubrey passed out due to alcohol. Everything in between was a complete loss. I rolled out of my bunk and walked into the front lounge to get tea for my throat and Tylenol for my killer headache. As I walked in I saw Annabel and Spencer kissing like there was no tomorrow.
“I take it they happened last night” I said to Ryan who was handing me a mug of hot tea. My voice came out scratchy and hoarse.
“yep. By the way we were just told you girls have an interview in like an hour” Ryan said
“ugh. What city are we even in. I thought we had today off” I said
“we were supposed to but they decided to add a secret show and we are in Cincinnati.” Spencer said. I felt all the color drain from my face. Cincinnati, Ohio was where I was born. It’s where my father killed himself. It’s where my mother lives. The mug of tea slipped from my grasp and shattered all over the floor. I didn’t even flinch as the contents burned my skin.
“Katy are you ok?” Spencer asked
“What?... oh yeah I'm fine. Oh shit” I said as I bent down and started picking up pieces of broken glass. I was still zoning out and having a freak out inside of my body.
“Ryn…Katy…Kathryn” Ryan said snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Huh” I said
“ I got this. You go with Bels” He said. I stood up and looked at Annabel who seemed like she had caught on to why I was out of it.
“Lets go get ready for this interview” she said as she started t pull me towards the bunk.
“You sure you’re ok” she asked once we reached the bunk area.
“yeah ill be fine. Lets just get this over with and get out of this damn city as soon as we can” I said before grabbing some clothes and going into the small bathroom to change.
Before I knew it we were sitting in an empty dressing room with a ditzy ass blonde interviewer. She was asking pointless questions and kept trying to turn the conversation to the panic boys. I was getting pissed that we were missing sound check to get interviewed by her and her teeny bopper magazine.
“So obviously you all know the Panic boys. What’s it like touring with super hot boys who are like sex on legs. Have you seen any of them naked?” She asked
“Uh its fun. They’ve become really good friends of ours. And when your on a bus with 5 guys and 5 girls there is bound to be some skin every once in a while” Harper said.
“so Katy. How long have you and Brendon Urie been dating?” she asked. The girls started cracking up laughing while I stared at this girl like she had two heads.
“We aren't” I said
“Well my sources say that you are. Care to explain this picture then?” she said as she handed me a magazine with a picture of Brendon and I kissing on the front. I was in the same outfit that I had worn to the club last night. I felt the anger start to boil in my blood.
“Well your sources are fucking wrong. Excuse me” I said as I took the magazine and walked out of the room. I went straight to the guys dressing room and walked in without even knocking.
“Where the fuck is Urie?” I asked
“what's wrong?” Ryan asked
“This is what is fucking wrong. Someone told the fucking media that his ass and mine were dating. And now there is a fucking picture of him kissing me which by the way is something I have no recollection of happening.” I said as I threw the magazine at Ryan. Just then my cell phone started ringing. It was my mother once again.
“What the fuck do you want now” I answered.
“Heard your pathetic band was in town. Thought you’d like your mother there.”
“ Shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone. I don’t want to ever see you again. Get that through your thick ass skull” I said before I launched my phone across the room. it shattered into pieces against the wall.
“Katy you need to calm down before you send yourself into a panic attack” Ryan said as he tool a hold of my arm and attempted tog et me to calm down. I pulled away from his grip and walked to the girls dressing room. I put my ipod on as loud as it would go and just tried to escape from the world until it was show time.
The show was horrible in every way possible. Things were out of tune, we were all off from each other. Not to mention my voice sounded like shit due to a sore throat. I tried to pull it together but it just wasn’t happening. I walked off stage right after the last song even more pissed than I was to begin with. The girls decided to stay on the side of the stage to watch Panic’s set while I headed back to the dressing room. it must have been right before they went on that Brendon walked in the room.
“You were looking for me whore” he said
“Just leave me the hell alone Brendon. Don’t start shit tonight” I said
“Why not. I should start shit cause there is a picture out there of you trying to jump on my dick”
“bull shit. It was just of us kissing and I cant even remember it fucking happening to begin with so you can take your conceited self and get the fuck away from me”
“ don’t think so. If your that desperate I’m sure we could find someone to fuck you.”
“Just shut the fuck up. Ok. I’m really not in the mood to deal with this” I quietly said.
“oh poor Baby. Go get raped somewhere. Oh wait you cant rape the willing can you. damn” he said. That was the last straw for me. He finally broke me completely. I started to cry
“you fucking win Brendon. I’m done. I cant take this shit anymore” I said as I got up and left. Once I reached the venue doors I broke out in a run. I ran as fast and as far away from the venue as I could. I knew the girls would be worried when they figured out I was gone, especially since I no longer had a cell phone, but at the point I didn’t care. I had to get away from it all. I had to get away from Brendon. I was tired of all the fighting. I was tired of fighting with him and fighting against myself. I had feelings for him, stronger than I have for any guy I’ve been with. And that scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I ended up at one of the bridges that crossed the Ohio River, connecting Ohio and Kentucky. This bridge was one that allowed people to walk across. I walked until I was in the middle of the bridge before I climbed up and sat on the railing. I held onto the rails as my feet dangled over the edge. I could feel the summer breeze blowing through my hair. It had an odd sense of calming with it. I lost all sense of time as I sat there. I knew it had to have been a minimum of 2 hours since I left. I stared up into the night sky and started counting the stars. That was until I felt a familiar presence standing behind me. I could recognize the scent. My grip of the bars of the bridge tightened as the scent came closer.
Waking up the next morning was hell. I had a horrible hangover and to top it off my throat was so raw I felt like I had swallowed glass. The only things I could remember from last night was us arriving at the club and then us leaving cause Aubrey passed out due to alcohol. Everything in between was a complete loss. I rolled out of my bunk and walked into the front lounge to get tea for my throat and Tylenol for my killer headache. As I walked in I saw Annabel and Spencer kissing like there was no tomorrow.
“I take it they happened last night” I said to Ryan who was handing me a mug of hot tea. My voice came out scratchy and hoarse.
“yep. By the way we were just told you girls have an interview in like an hour” Ryan said
“ugh. What city are we even in. I thought we had today off” I said
“we were supposed to but they decided to add a secret show and we are in Cincinnati.” Spencer said. I felt all the color drain from my face. Cincinnati, Ohio was where I was born. It’s where my father killed himself. It’s where my mother lives. The mug of tea slipped from my grasp and shattered all over the floor. I didn’t even flinch as the contents burned my skin.
“Katy are you ok?” Spencer asked
“What?... oh yeah I'm fine. Oh shit” I said as I bent down and started picking up pieces of broken glass. I was still zoning out and having a freak out inside of my body.
“Ryn…Katy…Kathryn” Ryan said snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Huh” I said
“ I got this. You go with Bels” He said. I stood up and looked at Annabel who seemed like she had caught on to why I was out of it.
“Lets go get ready for this interview” she said as she started t pull me towards the bunk.
“You sure you’re ok” she asked once we reached the bunk area.
“yeah ill be fine. Lets just get this over with and get out of this damn city as soon as we can” I said before grabbing some clothes and going into the small bathroom to change.
Before I knew it we were sitting in an empty dressing room with a ditzy ass blonde interviewer. She was asking pointless questions and kept trying to turn the conversation to the panic boys. I was getting pissed that we were missing sound check to get interviewed by her and her teeny bopper magazine.
“So obviously you all know the Panic boys. What’s it like touring with super hot boys who are like sex on legs. Have you seen any of them naked?” She asked
“Uh its fun. They’ve become really good friends of ours. And when your on a bus with 5 guys and 5 girls there is bound to be some skin every once in a while” Harper said.
“so Katy. How long have you and Brendon Urie been dating?” she asked. The girls started cracking up laughing while I stared at this girl like she had two heads.
“We aren't” I said
“Well my sources say that you are. Care to explain this picture then?” she said as she handed me a magazine with a picture of Brendon and I kissing on the front. I was in the same outfit that I had worn to the club last night. I felt the anger start to boil in my blood.
“Well your sources are fucking wrong. Excuse me” I said as I took the magazine and walked out of the room. I went straight to the guys dressing room and walked in without even knocking.
“Where the fuck is Urie?” I asked
“what's wrong?” Ryan asked
“This is what is fucking wrong. Someone told the fucking media that his ass and mine were dating. And now there is a fucking picture of him kissing me which by the way is something I have no recollection of happening.” I said as I threw the magazine at Ryan. Just then my cell phone started ringing. It was my mother once again.
“What the fuck do you want now” I answered.
“Heard your pathetic band was in town. Thought you’d like your mother there.”
“ Shut the fuck up and leave me the hell alone. I don’t want to ever see you again. Get that through your thick ass skull” I said before I launched my phone across the room. it shattered into pieces against the wall.
“Katy you need to calm down before you send yourself into a panic attack” Ryan said as he tool a hold of my arm and attempted tog et me to calm down. I pulled away from his grip and walked to the girls dressing room. I put my ipod on as loud as it would go and just tried to escape from the world until it was show time.
The show was horrible in every way possible. Things were out of tune, we were all off from each other. Not to mention my voice sounded like shit due to a sore throat. I tried to pull it together but it just wasn’t happening. I walked off stage right after the last song even more pissed than I was to begin with. The girls decided to stay on the side of the stage to watch Panic’s set while I headed back to the dressing room. it must have been right before they went on that Brendon walked in the room.
“You were looking for me whore” he said
“Just leave me the hell alone Brendon. Don’t start shit tonight” I said
“Why not. I should start shit cause there is a picture out there of you trying to jump on my dick”
“bull shit. It was just of us kissing and I cant even remember it fucking happening to begin with so you can take your conceited self and get the fuck away from me”
“ don’t think so. If your that desperate I’m sure we could find someone to fuck you.”
“Just shut the fuck up. Ok. I’m really not in the mood to deal with this” I quietly said.
“oh poor Baby. Go get raped somewhere. Oh wait you cant rape the willing can you. damn” he said. That was the last straw for me. He finally broke me completely. I started to cry
“you fucking win Brendon. I’m done. I cant take this shit anymore” I said as I got up and left. Once I reached the venue doors I broke out in a run. I ran as fast and as far away from the venue as I could. I knew the girls would be worried when they figured out I was gone, especially since I no longer had a cell phone, but at the point I didn’t care. I had to get away from it all. I had to get away from Brendon. I was tired of all the fighting. I was tired of fighting with him and fighting against myself. I had feelings for him, stronger than I have for any guy I’ve been with. And that scared the shit out of me. I couldn’t take it anymore. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore. I ended up at one of the bridges that crossed the Ohio River, connecting Ohio and Kentucky. This bridge was one that allowed people to walk across. I walked until I was in the middle of the bridge before I climbed up and sat on the railing. I held onto the rails as my feet dangled over the edge. I could feel the summer breeze blowing through my hair. It had an odd sense of calming with it. I lost all sense of time as I sat there. I knew it had to have been a minimum of 2 hours since I left. I stared up into the night sky and started counting the stars. That was until I felt a familiar presence standing behind me. I could recognize the scent. My grip of the bars of the bridge tightened as the scent came closer.
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