Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > The Tour

The Lie

by blue-flame 2 reviews

Coffee and ducks.

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Drama,Humor,Romance - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way - Published: 2009-04-24 - Updated: 2009-04-24 - 1578 words

“Fuck” Every fucking day I stretch and crack my knuckles on the damn ceiling.

“Shut up Gee, it’s too early.” Mikey mumbled from the bunk bellow.

“Bite me Michael.” I jumped down and wandered through to get the coffee boiling. As I went to open the blinds, light shone onto a small figure curled up on our couch. Frank must have fallen asleep reading again.

“Hey midget, move your short ass.” I chided as I started to pull out some mugs.

Frank rolled over and started mumbling. Arm falling off the couch, his hoody sleeve rolled up to reveal a silver thumb ring complete with orange nail polish. And people call me effeminate. I’ve never seen him wearing a ring before. Probably some gift from a fan.

“Frankie-poo… if you don’t get up you can’t have any of my lovely freshly ground coffee….”

Filling up the machine with water Frank still laid motionless on the couch. As the machine gurgled to life I quietly padded over to Frank and leant down towards him. Head buried in his hoody, I whipped the hood off and screamed in his ear.

“Motherfucker!!” The sleeping Frank was actually a woman with short blond hair who recoiled into the couch as far away from me as possible.


“Holy shit! Who the fuck are you?” Gerard Way was sprawled on the floor in front of me in a Slayer t-shirt and blue boxers with rubber duckies on them.

“Osla. Nice boxers.” I held my hand out but he remained on the floor wide eyed.

“Ok Osla, why are you asleep on our couch. A couch inside a bus with pin code entry that only the band knows?” Finding his feet Gerard opted for the Peter Pan pose, hands on hips trying to look dominant, but not before tugging his t-shirt as far as he could over his boxers.

“You mean only the band knows it’s 1947?” I smirked at him. I have an uncontrollable urge to wind people up when they aren’t polite. Ok, I just like to fuck with people’s heads a bit, but who doesn’t?

“Ok stop messing and tell me who the fuck told you that. You’re obviously not a groupie as I can safely say no-one on this bus is that desperate….” Bitch! I am totally at least a 6, maybe even an 8 if I make an effort. Time for some real fun.

“I’m Bob’s guest. We had a late night so he’s still asleep in his bunk.” I smirked, watching his shoulders slump.

“You’ve been here all night?” He stood astonished, his furrowed brow showing he was deep in thought.

“Well more like all morning. You know Bob, completely nocturnal.” I added a wink for added arrogance. If this were a cartoon I’m pretty sure there would be steam coming out of his ears by now.

“Ok, you stay put whilst I go put on some pants. I can hear the pneumatic door from the back so don’t try anything.” Turning on the sport the agitated front man stormed off towards what I assume is the bunks.

Ha-ha that was quality! Checking my phone I saw that it was 9.30am. I only slept for about two hours after steering all night, trying not to rear end the tour bus every time Mark braked. He gave me a radio to tell me when to break which I was thankful for. Without it I’d have passed out at the wheel.

The tour bus was incredible. The floors looked like real wood, but it must be some sort of plastic. The kitchen counters were black sparkling granite (effect). All the wood was rich maple. The ceiling was black and covered in hundreds of tiny twinkle lights with light bars along the bottoms of the couches so no-one tripped in the dark. A massive plasma TV and numerous games consoles dominated one wall, with a small kitchen area to the left of the bunk room. Opposite that was a table and benches, before you got to the black leather sofa I was now lounging on and its matching partner across from me.

As I stared at all the clutter that made the bus seem lived in, a figure appeared from the bunks.

“Ur, Hi?” Frank Iero stood before me in all his sexy glory. His short hair all over the place from sleep, a grey t-shirt and camo shorts showing off his tattoos.

“Hi. Osla. Nice to meet you.” I stood holding out my hand and unlike Way, Frank shook it. A handshake is the best test of character.

“Frank. Though I’m guessing you may know that.” He pointed down to the ‘Dead’ hoody I bought two weeks ago.

“Ah yeah. I’m not a fan girl. Just a regular fan. Our camper broke down and Bob offered a tow when he found out we were following the tour. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion.” I sank back into the comfy leather sofa and Frank grabbed some coffee cups.

“Not when they’re as cute as you.” Blushing I checked my phone to distract myself. He poured the freshly brewed coffee Gerard abandoned and offered me a cup which I accepted.

“Thanks… Brier and Bob have gone to find a mechanic so we can get on our way and leave you guys to it. They should be back soon.” Taking a long gulp from the warm coffee was pure heaven. I’d need a hell of a lot more to stay awake for the rest of the day though.

“Brier? Small world. And stay as long as you need. This bus is was too big for just six guys. As well as twelve bunks we have a double bedroom out back.” Frank gave a small smirk and wink over the top of his coffee cup before taking a sip. After a few minutes of drinking coffee in silence, Frank leant forward and rested his forearms on his knees.

“Yours is the green VW right?”

“Um, yeah. How’d you know that?” Bob recognised the van, but to recognise me owning it out of all the thousands of people that have been to the tour so far, that’s insane. Maybe it’s just a distinctive old van and he guessed lucky…

“I’ve seen you around let’s say…” Frank Iero is stalking me! And being a bit of a flirt for this time of the morning.

Before I could reply Gerard came marching back into the living area, this time fully clothed. He looked good in the trademark black skinnies, Draven’s and black hoody.

“Mornin’ Gee. This is Osla, a fellow slave to the RV.” Frank stood up and put a hand on my shoulder, giving me a reassuring squeeze.

“She’s Bob’s groupie!” He pointed at me as if I were a freak. Well… being normal is boring anyway!

“What, no she isn’t! She owns that green VW we keep seeing. It broke down and she hitched a ride with us.”

“But… No wait, you said you’ve been up all night with Bob?” Frank and Gerard both turned to stare at me.

“Yeah, he found us on some back road early this morning. Helped us hitch the Beast up to your tour bus. If it wasn’t for him, me and Brier would still be stuck there.” I smiled sweetly as Gerard stalked off the bus.

“Sorry about him, not had his morning coffee yet. I’m guessing the Beast is supposed to be ironic?”

“Oh no, he’s a beast all right…” I was cut off as the pneumatics whirred again and Bob boarded the bus, with a very happy Bri in tow.

“Found a garage?”

“Yup.” Bri was bouncing on her heels as Bob sat down on the sofa opposite me and Frank.

“But funnily enough most American garages don’t stock German parts. The gasket took out the catalytic converter on it as well which is extra difficult to get hold of for your model RV.” Bob said.

“Fuck. What the hell do we do now?” I rubbed the back of my neck (nervous habit) and put my elbows on my knees. Why is Bri so happy? Were totally screwed. How do we find a hire van and get Beast home in the process. I’m not leaving Beast.

“Bob’s got a plan!” Bri all but squealed.

“We can get the parts shipped out here. But it will take a few weeks. I need to clear it with the rest of the guys first, but, I figured as we have all this space and have a proper tow hitch available, you can ride with us. If you want too that is?” Bob looked hopefully at me and Frank.

“Seriously?” I do not believe this. Bob grinned and nodded as Brier continued to smile stupidly.

“Fuck Gerard. I say they stay!” Frank slammed down onto the sofa and gave me a crushing hug. I sat shocked until he let go, glancing at Brier who was laughing at me.

“Why fuck Gee? What’s he done now?” Bob asked as he pulled Frank off my sofa and next to him.

“Um, that’s kind of my fault. He was rude so I may have used some creative wording when he asked how I got on the bus….”
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