Categories > Anime/Manga > Yu-Gi-Oh! > Millennium Item Rejects
Chapter 1: Bugged with Over Compensation
0 reviewsThe torment begins as the panel is forced to deal with stupidtiy and male insecruity
1Funny
Millennium Item Rejects
By: Elven Angel Andrea
Author's Note: Ah, the good ol' Millennium Items, the very foundation of Yugioh. Why, without these seven token's Yugioh would be very different. Yet, so many fanfics within the Yugioh Community feature other Millennium Items, most of which do not follow the theme of the original seven.
How did Takahashi-san finally decide on the seven Millennium Items? Is it possible that there were more? Take a look at the items that didn't quite make it.
I will be using the Japanese names and this will be a separate body fic (Yugi/Yami & Ryou/Bakura can move independently from each other)
~*~
Chapter 1: Bugged with Over Compensation
(In a lackluster office building, on the 23rd floor, Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Bakura, Marik, Ishizu, Pegasus and Shadi are seated at a long table. They are in a large room with bright green and white titled floor, an old couch, bright florescent lighting and a water cooler by a rather small window. They are waiting for applicants.)
Yugi: Is this going to take long?
Bakura: Is bitching and moaning the only thing you can do?
Yami: Shut up Bakura!
Bakura:You shut up!
Yami: No you!
Bakura: You!
Yami: You! (The two keep going back and forth)
Ryou: Why are we in charge of this?
Ishizu: Takahashi-san has picked us to hold the Millennium Items. I guess he figured that if we are going to add on any more item holders then we are the best ones suited for this specific task.
Yami: You suck!
Bakura: I suck? You suck!
Yami: You suck! You're sucking right now!
Marik: YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTHS BEFORE I SHUT THEM FOR GOOD! (They both go quite)
Shadi: Bearing any potential crisis in mind, I think it's best if we start calling in the applicants.
Ishizu: True. Let's get started. (Rises from her seat) The first applicant may come in now! (The doors open and Haga (Weevil) steps into the room)
Haga: Greetings!
Pegasus: (Looks over his notes) So what item do you have for us today?
Haga: (Darkly) I have created the most feared and sinister weapon ever known to man. It is a device so twisted yet simple in design that the sear simplicity of its form would cripple you in fear! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Everyone stares at him) Sorry.
Bakura: Are we going to see this instrument of death and more importantly. (Looks over at Yami) Can I kill the Pharaoh with it? (Yami glares at him)
Weevil: You sure can! BEHOLD MY ITEM! (Weevil pulls out the most twisted and frightening Millennium Item ever conceived by man!)
Marik: (annoyed) A butterfly net?
Haga: Not just any butterfly net! THE MILLENNIUM BUTTERFLY NET!
Ryou: Well, what's it do?
Haga: I'm glad you asked! This Net can catch any insect in one try!
Yugi: How is that going to help in a duel?
Haga:Well...
Shadi: Or in a Yami no Game?
Haga: I....
Bakura: Or in getting the Puzzle?
Haga:Uh...
Marik: Or in destroying the Pharaoh?
Haga: You...
Marik: Or in making me Pharaoh?
Weevil: I just...
Yami: Or in getting my memory back?
Ishizu: Does this thing have ANYTHING in the wake of magic?!
Haga: YES! IT DOES! Its handle can extend to 200 feet!
Bakura: That's not going to help me in snatching the Puzzle if it happens to be 201 feet away!
Yami: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?!?!
Bakura: I'm a thief! If I'm going to steal something, I want something that works!
Ishizu: I don't think you really thought this through, Haga.
Haga: I did! I worked on this for weeks!
Ryou: And this was all you could come up with?
Pegasus: It's not even gold. It's spray-painted.
Haga: That does it! I'll prove it's worth! (Haga snatches up Yugi in the net) SEE NOW HE'S TRAPPED IN THERE FOREVER! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE BUTTERFLY NET OF DOOM!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHA! (Suddenly the net rips and Yugi falls on to the floor, ass first.)
Yugi: Ow, my tailbone!
Haga: Oh crud....
Marik: I've seen enough.
Ishizu: Me too.
Yami: REJECTED! (Pulls the lever and Haga falls through the trap door.)
Pegasus: NEXT! (In comes Ryuuzaki (Rex))
Ryuuzaki: It is I Dinosaur Ryuuzaki, the...
Yami: The dinosaur champion. We know. What item did you come up with? (Ryuuzaki pulls out a solid gold bone)
Bakura: (Under his breath) You gotta be kidding me.
Ryuuzaki: It's the Millennium Fossil!
Marik: And it's power?
Ryuuzaki: You can fossilize anything by merely hitting it!
Yami: Really? (Takes the M Fossil and hits Pegasus on the head)
Pegasus: OW! BLASTED PHARAOH!
Yugi: It doesn't seem to be working.
Ryuuzaki: Try hitting harder.
Yami: (happily) You got it! (He then starts bashing Pegasus repeatedly)
Pegasus: OW! OW! STOP! HITTING! ME! YOU! ASS! HOLE! OW!
(Hours later)
Ryou: You beat him to the point of death. (Pegasus is on the floor, half dead)
Ryuuzaki: Exactly! And once he's dead he'll become a fossil in about 6.5 million years.
Ishizu: Uh.... I don't think we can wait that long.
Marik: REJECTED! (Ryuuzaki falls through the trap door)
Yugi: What are you going to do with that thing, Yami?
Yami: Oh...I'm gonna hold onto it. (Picks up the Millennium Fossil and hides it)
Yugi: For safe keeping from Yami Bakura?
Yami: Uh...YEAH! That's it! Safe keeping...right...(Wicked smirk) that's what I'm doing.
Ryou: NEXT! (The doors open up to reveal...)
Marik: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE!?!?!
Haga: I brought another item in case you didn't like the other one. The Millennium Butterfly Net 2.0!
Marik: That's the same item!
Haga: No it's not.
Yugi: Yes it is. The net is ripped from when I fell through it.
Haga: No you're wrong!
Shadi: Anyone can clearly see it is.
Haga: I'm not listening! LA LA LA LA!
Ishizu: Haga, sweetie, you had your chance and you blow it.
Haga: Aw nuts....
Yami: REJECTED! (Yami pulls the lever for the trap door but Haga jumps out of the way)
Haga: HA! (Yami pushes a button on the desk and Weevil falls through the second trap door.) I'LL REMEMBER THIS!
Shadi: NEXT! (In walks the infamous terror of the deep (Yeah right) Kajiki (Mako))
Bakura: So what do you have for us? Is it something that can defeat the Pharaoh?
Kajiki: Pharaoh? HA! This thing can tame the fish in the sea with its mighty power.
Yugi: I'm getting a bad sense of foreboding
Ishizu: You and me both. (Plays with her Tauk)
Kajiki: THE MILLENNIUM FISHING ROD!
Marik: Oh no you don't! You can't have another item with the word Rod!
Kajiki: Oh yeah?!
Marik: Yeah!
Ishizu: Marik, honey, sit down. (Marik ignores her. He crosses over and begins to argue with Kajiki over the Rods)
Marik: My rod it is superior to yours!
Kajiki: My Rod is bigger! Yours is tiny!
Marik: HA! It's not the size! It's how you use it! When I pull this baby out, people bow down to me!
Kajiki: Check out these two giant reels this suckers attached to!
Marik: Your reels are nothing compared to these extensions MY Rod is attached to! (Points to the blades on the side)
Kajiki: That does it! I'm going to ram my Rod right up your ass!
Marik: Not unless I ram my Rod down your throat! (The two begin fighting. Ishizu and Shadi glance over at the other boys, who are looking very humble.)
Yami: My God Cards are not over compensating....
Yugi: Must remain naively unaware of innuendo....
Bakura: My ambitions for Millennium items are not over compensating....
Ryou: Must use denial issue to ignore what's going on....
Ishizu: What's wrong with them?
Shadi: It's a guy thing.
Marik:AND DON'T COME BACK! (Kicks Kajiki out of the room) BEHOLD! THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL RODS! AND I AM THE SOLE WEILDER OF ITS AWESOME POWER! NO MAN CAN TOP THE MIGHT OF MY ROD!
Ryou: (pissed) OKAY! WE GET IT! (Everyone looks at him) Well, we do.
Like it? Hate it? Review it!
By: Elven Angel Andrea
Author's Note: Ah, the good ol' Millennium Items, the very foundation of Yugioh. Why, without these seven token's Yugioh would be very different. Yet, so many fanfics within the Yugioh Community feature other Millennium Items, most of which do not follow the theme of the original seven.
How did Takahashi-san finally decide on the seven Millennium Items? Is it possible that there were more? Take a look at the items that didn't quite make it.
I will be using the Japanese names and this will be a separate body fic (Yugi/Yami & Ryou/Bakura can move independently from each other)
~*~
Chapter 1: Bugged with Over Compensation
(In a lackluster office building, on the 23rd floor, Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Bakura, Marik, Ishizu, Pegasus and Shadi are seated at a long table. They are in a large room with bright green and white titled floor, an old couch, bright florescent lighting and a water cooler by a rather small window. They are waiting for applicants.)
Yugi: Is this going to take long?
Bakura: Is bitching and moaning the only thing you can do?
Yami: Shut up Bakura!
Bakura:You shut up!
Yami: No you!
Bakura: You!
Yami: You! (The two keep going back and forth)
Ryou: Why are we in charge of this?
Ishizu: Takahashi-san has picked us to hold the Millennium Items. I guess he figured that if we are going to add on any more item holders then we are the best ones suited for this specific task.
Yami: You suck!
Bakura: I suck? You suck!
Yami: You suck! You're sucking right now!
Marik: YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR GOD DAMN MOUTHS BEFORE I SHUT THEM FOR GOOD! (They both go quite)
Shadi: Bearing any potential crisis in mind, I think it's best if we start calling in the applicants.
Ishizu: True. Let's get started. (Rises from her seat) The first applicant may come in now! (The doors open and Haga (Weevil) steps into the room)
Haga: Greetings!
Pegasus: (Looks over his notes) So what item do you have for us today?
Haga: (Darkly) I have created the most feared and sinister weapon ever known to man. It is a device so twisted yet simple in design that the sear simplicity of its form would cripple you in fear! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Everyone stares at him) Sorry.
Bakura: Are we going to see this instrument of death and more importantly. (Looks over at Yami) Can I kill the Pharaoh with it? (Yami glares at him)
Weevil: You sure can! BEHOLD MY ITEM! (Weevil pulls out the most twisted and frightening Millennium Item ever conceived by man!)
Marik: (annoyed) A butterfly net?
Haga: Not just any butterfly net! THE MILLENNIUM BUTTERFLY NET!
Ryou: Well, what's it do?
Haga: I'm glad you asked! This Net can catch any insect in one try!
Yugi: How is that going to help in a duel?
Haga:Well...
Shadi: Or in a Yami no Game?
Haga: I....
Bakura: Or in getting the Puzzle?
Haga:Uh...
Marik: Or in destroying the Pharaoh?
Haga: You...
Marik: Or in making me Pharaoh?
Weevil: I just...
Yami: Or in getting my memory back?
Ishizu: Does this thing have ANYTHING in the wake of magic?!
Haga: YES! IT DOES! Its handle can extend to 200 feet!
Bakura: That's not going to help me in snatching the Puzzle if it happens to be 201 feet away!
Yami: WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING!?!?!
Bakura: I'm a thief! If I'm going to steal something, I want something that works!
Ishizu: I don't think you really thought this through, Haga.
Haga: I did! I worked on this for weeks!
Ryou: And this was all you could come up with?
Pegasus: It's not even gold. It's spray-painted.
Haga: That does it! I'll prove it's worth! (Haga snatches up Yugi in the net) SEE NOW HE'S TRAPPED IN THERE FOREVER! NO ONE CAN ESCAPE THE BUTTERFLY NET OF DOOM!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHA! (Suddenly the net rips and Yugi falls on to the floor, ass first.)
Yugi: Ow, my tailbone!
Haga: Oh crud....
Marik: I've seen enough.
Ishizu: Me too.
Yami: REJECTED! (Pulls the lever and Haga falls through the trap door.)
Pegasus: NEXT! (In comes Ryuuzaki (Rex))
Ryuuzaki: It is I Dinosaur Ryuuzaki, the...
Yami: The dinosaur champion. We know. What item did you come up with? (Ryuuzaki pulls out a solid gold bone)
Bakura: (Under his breath) You gotta be kidding me.
Ryuuzaki: It's the Millennium Fossil!
Marik: And it's power?
Ryuuzaki: You can fossilize anything by merely hitting it!
Yami: Really? (Takes the M Fossil and hits Pegasus on the head)
Pegasus: OW! BLASTED PHARAOH!
Yugi: It doesn't seem to be working.
Ryuuzaki: Try hitting harder.
Yami: (happily) You got it! (He then starts bashing Pegasus repeatedly)
Pegasus: OW! OW! STOP! HITTING! ME! YOU! ASS! HOLE! OW!
(Hours later)
Ryou: You beat him to the point of death. (Pegasus is on the floor, half dead)
Ryuuzaki: Exactly! And once he's dead he'll become a fossil in about 6.5 million years.
Ishizu: Uh.... I don't think we can wait that long.
Marik: REJECTED! (Ryuuzaki falls through the trap door)
Yugi: What are you going to do with that thing, Yami?
Yami: Oh...I'm gonna hold onto it. (Picks up the Millennium Fossil and hides it)
Yugi: For safe keeping from Yami Bakura?
Yami: Uh...YEAH! That's it! Safe keeping...right...(Wicked smirk) that's what I'm doing.
Ryou: NEXT! (The doors open up to reveal...)
Marik: WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE!?!?!
Haga: I brought another item in case you didn't like the other one. The Millennium Butterfly Net 2.0!
Marik: That's the same item!
Haga: No it's not.
Yugi: Yes it is. The net is ripped from when I fell through it.
Haga: No you're wrong!
Shadi: Anyone can clearly see it is.
Haga: I'm not listening! LA LA LA LA!
Ishizu: Haga, sweetie, you had your chance and you blow it.
Haga: Aw nuts....
Yami: REJECTED! (Yami pulls the lever for the trap door but Haga jumps out of the way)
Haga: HA! (Yami pushes a button on the desk and Weevil falls through the second trap door.) I'LL REMEMBER THIS!
Shadi: NEXT! (In walks the infamous terror of the deep (Yeah right) Kajiki (Mako))
Bakura: So what do you have for us? Is it something that can defeat the Pharaoh?
Kajiki: Pharaoh? HA! This thing can tame the fish in the sea with its mighty power.
Yugi: I'm getting a bad sense of foreboding
Ishizu: You and me both. (Plays with her Tauk)
Kajiki: THE MILLENNIUM FISHING ROD!
Marik: Oh no you don't! You can't have another item with the word Rod!
Kajiki: Oh yeah?!
Marik: Yeah!
Ishizu: Marik, honey, sit down. (Marik ignores her. He crosses over and begins to argue with Kajiki over the Rods)
Marik: My rod it is superior to yours!
Kajiki: My Rod is bigger! Yours is tiny!
Marik: HA! It's not the size! It's how you use it! When I pull this baby out, people bow down to me!
Kajiki: Check out these two giant reels this suckers attached to!
Marik: Your reels are nothing compared to these extensions MY Rod is attached to! (Points to the blades on the side)
Kajiki: That does it! I'm going to ram my Rod right up your ass!
Marik: Not unless I ram my Rod down your throat! (The two begin fighting. Ishizu and Shadi glance over at the other boys, who are looking very humble.)
Yami: My God Cards are not over compensating....
Yugi: Must remain naively unaware of innuendo....
Bakura: My ambitions for Millennium items are not over compensating....
Ryou: Must use denial issue to ignore what's going on....
Ishizu: What's wrong with them?
Shadi: It's a guy thing.
Marik:AND DON'T COME BACK! (Kicks Kajiki out of the room) BEHOLD! THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL RODS! AND I AM THE SOLE WEILDER OF ITS AWESOME POWER! NO MAN CAN TOP THE MIGHT OF MY ROD!
Ryou: (pissed) OKAY! WE GET IT! (Everyone looks at him) Well, we do.
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