Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Three Days
Next chapter! And for any of you that HAVE seen the movie I’m basing this off of…yes, I’m making a few…changes. At this point, most notably…sex, because come on…Ferard stories have to have sex. :D
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Gerard felt the covers shift behind him and he groaned, reaching back without looking. “No, Mama. Sleep.”
A strong arm wrapped around his waist then, and he heard Frank’s soft giggle. “Come on, sleepy. Gotta wake up; you’re gonna be late for work.” Gerard was frozen, eyes shut tight. He had to be dreaming. He had to be dreaming. Frank’s lips brushed against his neck, tongue darting out quickly to taste his skin. “Made you coffee. But it’s the last of the Dunkin’ Donuts, so we gotta remember to get more next time we’re out.”
“Frank?” His eyes were still shut, and his voice wavered a little on the word.
Frank’s arms tightened around him, and he nuzzled in closer against his neck. “Yeah? Everything ok, Gee?”
Gerard rolled over in his arms, clutching Frank to him and burying his face in his shoulder. He was too warm, too solid and real for this to be a dream. A soft, involuntary whimper escaped his throat and he pressed even closer, breathing Frank in.
Frank rubbed his back soothingly, hands gentle. “It’s ok…it’s ok.” He changed position just enough to press his lips to Gerard’s forehead, let them hover there as he spoke. “What’s wrong, Gee?”
“Bad dream. I…you were…” His words were muffled against Frank’s chest, but he didn’t want to move. Not an inch.
“Hey, it’s ok. I’m right here, Gee. I’m right here.”
Shuddering, Gerard tilted his head up, one hand moving to tangle in Frank’s hair as he kissed him. It was like taking a breath of air after having already drowned, beyond relief and more like revival. He was thorough, tongue claiming Frank’s mouth hungrily, fire flaring in his veins when Frank moaned under the ferocity of his kiss. He only broke away when he literally couldn’t keep it up any longer, gasping for breath against Frank’s lips. “God…Frank…you taste so fucking good.” He didn’t give him a chance to respond, immediately claiming him again. That time Frank was less dazed and more responsive, and Gerard moaned appreciatively at the feel of hands sliding up under his shirt.
Frank pulled away then, breath shaky. “Damn, Gerard…” he was panting, and Gerard could see the surprise in his eyes. “Must’ve been some dream. ‘S ok…I’m ok. Although, can’t say I’m complaining ‘bout the response.” He grinned, the mischievous one Gerard loved best.
Gerard shifted position just enough so slide his body over Frank’s, pinning him to the mattress. He trailed kisses down his neck, pausing to suck briefly at the skin just under his jaw. “Need you. Right now.” He moved lower, pulled the neck of Frank’s t-shirt down to suck at his collarbone. “Love you so much.”
Frank laughed, the sound broken by a gasp as Gerard’s hands slid his shirt up past his ribs, ready to pull it off. “Gee…sounds wonderful, but…fuck!” Gerard had grazed his teeth over his nipple before sucking it between them, tongue swirling across the sensitive skin. Frank’s hands gripped his hair, holding his head in place. “Aren’t you gonna be late?”
“Fuck it.” Gerard lips barely left his skin to murmur the words, his hands sliding farther up to push Frank’s arms up and pull the shirt over his head. “They can wait.” He rocked his hips lightly against Frank’s, moaning at the feel. Despite his half hearted protests, he could already feel Frank hard against him. He nuzzled against Frank, lips brushing against his ear. “You feel so good, baby.” Frank whimpered, and Gerard held him tighter. Frank always loved it when he talked to him like this, while they were making love. Gerard had figured that out early on, and he had always found it incredibly endearing.
Sliding his hands down Frank’s sides he tugged at his boxers, sliding them down his hips and lower so Frank could kick them off. He felt Frank’s erection brush against his bare skin and he bit his lip, struggling to keep control. He knew that he should be taking this slow, but there was too much raw need there. After thinking he had lost him, having him in his arms again was too much for him to be able to keep any kind of self control. He kissed Frank again, wet and passionate. Frank’s hands were on his hips now, shoving his pajama pants down just enough for him to be free of them.
Frank stroked him then, slow and measured and it wasn’t long at all before Gerard could feel his muscles quivering with the effort it took to hold back. He stilled Frank’s hand, catching his wrist gently and pulling it up to pin over his head, kissing it as he brought it past his lips. He dipped his head to press a gentle kiss to Frank’s forehead, whispering against his skin. “Can I take you now, babe? Are you ready? I’m sorry, I’m so fucking close and I wanna be inside you first.”
Frank’s eyes fluttered closed at the words alone, his body arching up to press against Gerard with a soft moan. “God, yes, Gee, please…”
With one hand Gerard reached to his left and yanked open the drawer beside the bed, thankful his hand found the bottle of lube easily. He flipped the top open and prepared himself quickly, spreading enough on his fingers afterward to slide two into Frank. He knew just where to stroke to make him scream, his body writhing beneath him.
“Gee…please…it’s ok…just…”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. He slid his hand away, using it to grip Frank’s hips as he pushed into him. He wanted to at least start slowly, but the sensation overwhelmed him and he cried out, burying his head against Frank’s shoulder as his hips rocked into him. “God…so good…love you…” he shifted his grip to one hand, used the other to pump Frank in his hand as he tilted his hips just enough to hit the perfect spot.
“Gee!” His nails cut into Gerard’s back, clinging tightly, pulling him deeper. “Fuck, yes, right there…” He was moaning, breath ghosting against Gerard’s skin until he pulled his head closer, enough to press his lips against his neck. “Love you.”
Gerard could feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and he shut them, tightening his grip on Frank’s hip. “Say it again.”
The desperation was clear in his voice, and if his eyes had been open he could have seen the worry that flashed in Frank’s. He responded quickly though, tugged on Gerard’s hair gently, pulling his head back to make him look him in the eyes. He was panting, but the words came out clear. “I love you.”
He came then, spilling himself into Frank, overwhelmed emotionally as well as physically. Frank was close behind him, arms and legs wrapping tight around Gerard to hold him close as they both shook. Gerard collapsed on top of him, head buried in the crook of his neck. It was awhile before either of them caught their breath, and when Gerard did he pulled out slowly, reluctantly, flopping over onto his back and pulling Frank with him to rest against his chest.
Frank propped his chin on his hand, grinning broadly as he looked up at his lover. “Damn, Gee.” He laughed, shaking them both. “Is that an official explanation for being late? Cause I mean if I was your boss, I’d accept it.”
Gerard smiled, shook his head as he ran his fingers through Frank’s hair lazily. “Nope. I doubt he’d take that as an excuse. Hell, I’m pretty sure Brian wouldn’t even want to hear that excuse.” Frank laughed again, and Gerard pulled him closer against his chest. “But he won’t have to, cause I’m staying here with you today.”
It only lasted a second, but Gerard caught the moment Frank’s eyes lit up at the thought. He covered his happiness quickly, though, and Gerard hated himself for it. He hadn’t realized, before, what he was doing to Frank. He had been fucking blind, and his mistakes had cost him dearly.
“Really? I mean…don’t you have more important-“
Gerard covered his lips gently, shaking his head. “Uh-uh. Nothing more important than you. Plus, I haven’t taken vacation days since…” He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had taken a vacation of any kind.
“2006.” Frank said it quietly, eyes downcast. “We went to Disney, remember?”
Gerard nodded slowly, his chest aching at the thought. He hadn’t taken time just to be with Frank in the past three years. Three fucking years. “I do remember. That was fun, huh?”
Frank’s grin was back in place and he nodded. “Yeah, it was. Especially watching you geek out over all the Star Wars shit.” Gerard shoved him playfully, glad when Frank wrapped his arms around his chest, refusing to be moved. “So…” Frank’s voice was serious now, and Gerard couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. “What’s up with you this morning?”
“I told you. Bad dream. Really fucking bad dream.” Which could have been true, really. He perked up, thinking it. Hell, that was far more likely than some angel turning back time for him. He had probably just had a really realistic dream, nothing more. Still, he knew now he had a lot of changing to do. He put a smile on for Frank, kissed the top of his head.
“Everything’s ok now. it’s…it’s great.” He pushed up to sit up against the headboard, pulling Frank with him, still held tight to his chest. Reaching over with one arm he grabbed his cigarettes and lighter off the nightstand, tapping one out into his hand and lighting it. Frank took it from his lips almost immediately, eyes closing as he took his drag. Gerard laughed, ruffled Frank’s hair gently. “Get your own, huh?”
“Why, when I’ve already got yours? You get a new one.” His eyes were sparkling and Gerard leaned in to kiss his forehead. He could hardly bear to keep his lips off his skin.
“Nah, we can share. Plus,” He leaned over again, carefully lifting his coffee cup and bringing it to his lips. “I have coffee too.”
They were quiet a moment before Frank reached up and took the cup, passing the cigarette back to Gerard’s lips. “Oh, hey, Gee, I found this really awesome key on the table by the door; I think Mikey musta left it when he was here the other day.”
Gerard choked, his heart skipping a beat. “K-key?”
If Frank noticed his shock, he didn’t show it. “Yeah. It’s frickin’ gold, some kinda design at the top…artsy, you’d like it.”
“Oh I, ah…I saw it outside, on the street. Picked it up the other day.” His mind was racing, incoherent, his arm tightening around Frank’s back. It had been real. It was all fucking real. He jerked his head to the side, catching the time on the clock. 9:15. He was already quite a few hours into his first day. Distracted, he jerked when Frank lay his hand against his cheek.
“You sure you’re ok, Gee? I can tell something’s still bothering you.”
He took a deep breath, passed the cigarette back to Frank and pulled him up a little higher, kissing his temple. “Nope. Everything’s fine.” Still, he was certain Frank could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “So…” he put the cigarette out in the ashtray by the bed, tipped Frank’s chin up to look him in the eyes. “How about I take off work till after Christmas and we go somewhere? How does that sound?”
“It…sounds…way too good to be true.” His eyes were wary, uncertain. “You sure you’re-“
“I’m fine. I just want to spend time with you.” He smiled, forced. He was desperately wishing he could beat the shit out of himself. “That ok?”
Even laying down, Frank managed to push himself up enough to half pounce on him, taking Gerard’s face in his hands and kissing his lips. “Ok? It’s fuckin’ awesome.” He grinned, tugged Gerard’s lower lip between his teeth. “So, where are we going?”
“Anywhere you want.” His hands were restless, sliding absently up and down over Frank’s ribs. “You pick.”
“Anywhere?”
“Yeah, seriously, anywhere.” And maybe if they went far enough, they just wouldn’t be back in town on the 24th. He couldn’t exactly die in the same accident if they were on the other side of the world, now, could he?
Frank sat back, tugging on his arm. “Well come on then! Let’s go!”
~~~~~
Gerard sighed, staring in slight disbelief at the location on the AmTrak sign. “Really?”
“Gee…” Frank gave him his ‘puppy’ look, full on pleading eyes. “You said anywhere.”
He sighed again, pulling out his wallet. “Yeah, yeah I did. I just thought we’d be goin’ somewhere other than home.” He stepped up to the window, eyes on his hands. “Two tickets to Newark please.” He turned his head, spoke to Frank over his shoulder. “We’ll have to catch another train there. Far as I can tell nothing goes straight through to Belleville.”
“Or call Ray to come get us.”
Despite how much he didn’t want to go home, the excitement in Frank’s voice was definitely a good thing. Gerard smiled, half heartedly. “True. We can get Ray to drive us if you want.” He reached out, taking Frank’s hand and twining their fingers tightly. “Come on, babe.” He couldn’t bear to not be touching him, even for a moment. They had always been close, even more so before he had gotten so caught up in work, but now…now it was more important than ever. Like always, he could feel the eyes following them but he had stopped lashing out about it years ago. If they didn’t like seeing them together, they could fucking claw their eyes out for all he cared, but he wasn’t going to start something. Not to say that he wouldn’t finish something if someone else was stupid enough to make a smart ass remark.
Once on the train they settled in, and Gerard smiled as Frank nestled in against his chest. “Sleepy, huh?”
“You know I get bored on long rides.”
He chuckled, smoothed his hand over Frank’s back. “It’s ok.” He kissed his forehead, brushing his bangs aside. “Just sleep. I’ll wake you just before we get there.”
It wasn’t long before he was fast asleep, his breath soft and even against Gerard’s skin. He looked so beautiful in his sleep, looked so much younger. For a moment Gerard could see him the day he turned 18, his hair shaved close and dyed red on the sides, his scorpion tattoo fresh on his neck. They had stayed out all night, and he had fallen asleep in Gerard’s lap on the Way’s couch. It seemed so long ago, now, the days when he was still living in his mom’s basement and getting through art school, waiting for Frank to be old enough to move out and in with him.
Home. Gerard brought one hand up to rub his eyes, fighting the headache that came with the thought. He needed a cigarette. He almost laughed at the thought, shook his head slightly. He wasn’t even home yet and it was already wrecking his nerves. There were a lot of good memories in Belleville, that was true, but all of them involved Frank. The bad ones…those were enough to keep him away. He had taken the best of Belleville with him when he left, and after his mother’s death he had felt no need to ever return. Ray and Christa came to see them at least twice a year, and other than them there was no one in town worth missing.
Still, this was what Frank had wanted. Everything, now, had to be about what Frank wanted. That was all that was important, though he was doing his best not to think of why it was so vitally important. And at that, he was failing miserably.
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“Hey, Gee, I’m gonna jump in the shower before we go out ok?”
Gerard felt his heart twist painfully. Frank and his showers. Something so normal, so everyday. He sighed, ran one hand through his hair and tried to make sure his voice didn’t betray him when he spoke. “Yeah, ok. That an invitation?’
Frank giggled, the sound muffled through the door. “It would be, but if it was we’d never get out the door and you know it.”
“Mmhm. And the problem is?”
He laughed harder, and Gerard could feel his hands shaking. The more hours in the day slipped by, the less he became sure he could do this without breaking down. “Gee! I told you, I wanna go out tonight. Walk around town, you know.”
“Walking around Belleville’s about as safe as sleeping in a New York subway station, but alright.” He lit a cigarette, took a long drag before saying anything else. “Alright. I’ll be out here waiting on you, ok? Take your time, babe.”
“Hello, Gerard.”
Gerard jerked, dropping his cigarette and catching it just in time, brushing ashes off his jacket. Jackson was leaning against the bed post across from him, that same maddening gentle smile. “Shit, give me some warning next time, huh?”
Jackson shook his head, smiling wider. “You’re more jumpy than a trip wire, Gerard. You’ve gotta relax. Frank knows something’s up.”
He was right, really. There had a been a scream clawing at his throat ever since he’d realized everything that had happened was actually real, and he was now living in a goddamned ticking time bomb. And now, it was going to take all he had to keep from yelling at the top of his lungs. “I’ve gotta calm down? I’ve got to calm down? Oh, sure thing. Knowing I only have-“ His eyes darted to his watch, checking, “A little over 50 hours left with Frank, surely, it shouldn’t be that hard to calm the fuck down.”
The smile dropped, seriousness coming into Jackson’s eyes. “You didn’t have to agree to this, you know. If you don’t want-“
“NO!” It had come out much louder than he expected and he took a deep breath, pausing a minute to make sure he could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom still. “No. Look, I’m trying, ok? I just…every fucking thing, I keep thinking…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, the words sticking in this throat. It was hard enough to think them much less say them. That this could be the last chance he had to join Frank in the shower, the last chance he had to hear him laugh, last chance for a thousand everyday things, the little things that everyone saw in the one they loved but never really realized they were in love with until they really stopped to think.
“I know.” he did sound as if he understood, for a moment. “I just came to tell you there’s something else for you to consider. Any plans for an early Christmas present you could give Frank? Something really special? A last gift?”
Gerard felt his chest tighten, and he cursed under his breath. “Beautiful. As if I wasn’t already doing enough, trying to fix the fucking mess I made, now I’ve gotta find the perfect present? How the hell am I supposed to do all this at once?” He shook his head, frustrated. “I need more time. Three days isn’t enough to make up for what a fuck up I’ve been.”
“Sorry. Deal’s a deal, and that’s all I was allowed to offer you. You’re going to have to make do with what you’ve got.”
He was trying so very hard not to last out again, and he bit his tongue until he tasted blood. “Right. So…can you give me any hints about this perfect gift I’m supposed to find?”
Jackson shrugged, shaking his head. “I may know what it is, but that doesn’t mean I can tell you, Gerard. Think about it. You already know the things Frank wants most, even if you don’t realize you know.”
“So I know, and I don’t know. Perfect, thank you for being so fucking helpful.”
“Just give it some thought, Gee.” He stepped forward, let his hand fall on Gerard’s shoulder, ignoring it when it flinched. “And try to relax, ok? Just enjoy your time with him.”
“What’s left of it.” He muttered the words darkly, seeing the accident all over again in his head.
“Gee? You talking to someone?”
Gerard jerked, head snapping back over his shoulder, relieved to find the bathroom door still closed. When his gaze came back around, Jackson was gone. “Yeah, talking to Mikey.”
“Oh, well tell him I said hey!”
“Yeah, course.” He mumbled his way through getting out of a fake conversation, ‘hanging up’ quickly and stepping over to the bathroom door, not bothering to knock before opening it. Frank stood in front a steamed up mirror, a towel hanging loosely around his waist. His hair was still dripping water, his skin glistening and damp. Gerard licked his lips unconsciously, his eyes roving uncontrolled over his husband’s body.
Frank blushed under his open scrutiny, as he did every time. He could never seem to understand why Gerard found him so beautiful. Ludicrous, in Gerard’s mind. There was no way Frank could ever be considered anything but beautiful. His eyes swept his torso, down to the skin visible just above his waist, the almost mirror image sparrow tattoos on his hips.
“…and you haven’t heard a word I said, have you?”
Gerard’s eyes met Frank’s, and he let himself be lost in them. “Sorry, babe. Too distracted.” He grinned, stepped fully into the room and up to Frank, pulling him forward by his hips. “You have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?”
His looked up shyly, seductive without ever knowing it. “So you say.”
“ ‘Cause it’s true.” He took Frank’s chin in his hand, gently tilted it up to gain access to his neck. Dipping his head he sucked on the warm, damp skin just over his pulse, felt his pants tighten when Frank whimpered.
“Gee…later?”
“Mmhm.” He stopped just short of marking him, reluctantly, though he continued trailing soft kisses across his bare skin. “I know. We’re going out.” He paused again, lips fastening onto a new patch of skin and reveling in the way he could feel Frank’s heartbeat quicken against his chest. “I just wanted a taste.” He switched sides, ran his tongue lightly over the scorpion and felt Frank shiver. He pulled back then, drinking in the look on Frank’s face. He was flushed, lips slightly parted, hazel eyes sparkling with love and lust. There was no rush greater than knowing he’d been the one to put that look on his face, that he was the only one that ever had. He had always thought he’d be seeing that look in his eyes every day for the rest of his life. Thoughts like that weren’t exactly good for maintaining any semblance of calm, and he pushed it aside quickly, leaning in for a simple, sweet kiss. “Love you.” However many hours he had left, he was going to say it every chance he got.
“Love you too, Gee.”
Smiling, Gerard stepped back, giving them both some room. “Alright, get dressed. And quick, cause if you keep walking around like that I’m not responsible for my actions.”
He soaked up the sound of Frank’s laughter, followed him into the hotel room to wait while he changed. The clock on the night stand seemed to be blaring its numbers at him. 7:30.
2 days 4 hours 22 minutes. It was not enough time.
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I know this chapter was shorter, and I’m sorry, but I DID warn you. I will be trying to update frequently, and I just finished my last final today (YAY!!!) so hopefully, I’ll be having some more time to write.
Thanks so much to everyone who read last time, and especially to IeroMyHeroMCR for an awesome review! :D Thank you! All of you, please let me know what you’re thinking…review make my day, so if you can do that for me, that’s completely awesome. ^^
Hope everyone’s enjoying this so far!
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Gerard felt the covers shift behind him and he groaned, reaching back without looking. “No, Mama. Sleep.”
A strong arm wrapped around his waist then, and he heard Frank’s soft giggle. “Come on, sleepy. Gotta wake up; you’re gonna be late for work.” Gerard was frozen, eyes shut tight. He had to be dreaming. He had to be dreaming. Frank’s lips brushed against his neck, tongue darting out quickly to taste his skin. “Made you coffee. But it’s the last of the Dunkin’ Donuts, so we gotta remember to get more next time we’re out.”
“Frank?” His eyes were still shut, and his voice wavered a little on the word.
Frank’s arms tightened around him, and he nuzzled in closer against his neck. “Yeah? Everything ok, Gee?”
Gerard rolled over in his arms, clutching Frank to him and burying his face in his shoulder. He was too warm, too solid and real for this to be a dream. A soft, involuntary whimper escaped his throat and he pressed even closer, breathing Frank in.
Frank rubbed his back soothingly, hands gentle. “It’s ok…it’s ok.” He changed position just enough to press his lips to Gerard’s forehead, let them hover there as he spoke. “What’s wrong, Gee?”
“Bad dream. I…you were…” His words were muffled against Frank’s chest, but he didn’t want to move. Not an inch.
“Hey, it’s ok. I’m right here, Gee. I’m right here.”
Shuddering, Gerard tilted his head up, one hand moving to tangle in Frank’s hair as he kissed him. It was like taking a breath of air after having already drowned, beyond relief and more like revival. He was thorough, tongue claiming Frank’s mouth hungrily, fire flaring in his veins when Frank moaned under the ferocity of his kiss. He only broke away when he literally couldn’t keep it up any longer, gasping for breath against Frank’s lips. “God…Frank…you taste so fucking good.” He didn’t give him a chance to respond, immediately claiming him again. That time Frank was less dazed and more responsive, and Gerard moaned appreciatively at the feel of hands sliding up under his shirt.
Frank pulled away then, breath shaky. “Damn, Gerard…” he was panting, and Gerard could see the surprise in his eyes. “Must’ve been some dream. ‘S ok…I’m ok. Although, can’t say I’m complaining ‘bout the response.” He grinned, the mischievous one Gerard loved best.
Gerard shifted position just enough so slide his body over Frank’s, pinning him to the mattress. He trailed kisses down his neck, pausing to suck briefly at the skin just under his jaw. “Need you. Right now.” He moved lower, pulled the neck of Frank’s t-shirt down to suck at his collarbone. “Love you so much.”
Frank laughed, the sound broken by a gasp as Gerard’s hands slid his shirt up past his ribs, ready to pull it off. “Gee…sounds wonderful, but…fuck!” Gerard had grazed his teeth over his nipple before sucking it between them, tongue swirling across the sensitive skin. Frank’s hands gripped his hair, holding his head in place. “Aren’t you gonna be late?”
“Fuck it.” Gerard lips barely left his skin to murmur the words, his hands sliding farther up to push Frank’s arms up and pull the shirt over his head. “They can wait.” He rocked his hips lightly against Frank’s, moaning at the feel. Despite his half hearted protests, he could already feel Frank hard against him. He nuzzled against Frank, lips brushing against his ear. “You feel so good, baby.” Frank whimpered, and Gerard held him tighter. Frank always loved it when he talked to him like this, while they were making love. Gerard had figured that out early on, and he had always found it incredibly endearing.
Sliding his hands down Frank’s sides he tugged at his boxers, sliding them down his hips and lower so Frank could kick them off. He felt Frank’s erection brush against his bare skin and he bit his lip, struggling to keep control. He knew that he should be taking this slow, but there was too much raw need there. After thinking he had lost him, having him in his arms again was too much for him to be able to keep any kind of self control. He kissed Frank again, wet and passionate. Frank’s hands were on his hips now, shoving his pajama pants down just enough for him to be free of them.
Frank stroked him then, slow and measured and it wasn’t long at all before Gerard could feel his muscles quivering with the effort it took to hold back. He stilled Frank’s hand, catching his wrist gently and pulling it up to pin over his head, kissing it as he brought it past his lips. He dipped his head to press a gentle kiss to Frank’s forehead, whispering against his skin. “Can I take you now, babe? Are you ready? I’m sorry, I’m so fucking close and I wanna be inside you first.”
Frank’s eyes fluttered closed at the words alone, his body arching up to press against Gerard with a soft moan. “God, yes, Gee, please…”
With one hand Gerard reached to his left and yanked open the drawer beside the bed, thankful his hand found the bottle of lube easily. He flipped the top open and prepared himself quickly, spreading enough on his fingers afterward to slide two into Frank. He knew just where to stroke to make him scream, his body writhing beneath him.
“Gee…please…it’s ok…just…”
He didn’t need to be asked twice. He slid his hand away, using it to grip Frank’s hips as he pushed into him. He wanted to at least start slowly, but the sensation overwhelmed him and he cried out, burying his head against Frank’s shoulder as his hips rocked into him. “God…so good…love you…” he shifted his grip to one hand, used the other to pump Frank in his hand as he tilted his hips just enough to hit the perfect spot.
“Gee!” His nails cut into Gerard’s back, clinging tightly, pulling him deeper. “Fuck, yes, right there…” He was moaning, breath ghosting against Gerard’s skin until he pulled his head closer, enough to press his lips against his neck. “Love you.”
Gerard could feel the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and he shut them, tightening his grip on Frank’s hip. “Say it again.”
The desperation was clear in his voice, and if his eyes had been open he could have seen the worry that flashed in Frank’s. He responded quickly though, tugged on Gerard’s hair gently, pulling his head back to make him look him in the eyes. He was panting, but the words came out clear. “I love you.”
He came then, spilling himself into Frank, overwhelmed emotionally as well as physically. Frank was close behind him, arms and legs wrapping tight around Gerard to hold him close as they both shook. Gerard collapsed on top of him, head buried in the crook of his neck. It was awhile before either of them caught their breath, and when Gerard did he pulled out slowly, reluctantly, flopping over onto his back and pulling Frank with him to rest against his chest.
Frank propped his chin on his hand, grinning broadly as he looked up at his lover. “Damn, Gee.” He laughed, shaking them both. “Is that an official explanation for being late? Cause I mean if I was your boss, I’d accept it.”
Gerard smiled, shook his head as he ran his fingers through Frank’s hair lazily. “Nope. I doubt he’d take that as an excuse. Hell, I’m pretty sure Brian wouldn’t even want to hear that excuse.” Frank laughed again, and Gerard pulled him closer against his chest. “But he won’t have to, cause I’m staying here with you today.”
It only lasted a second, but Gerard caught the moment Frank’s eyes lit up at the thought. He covered his happiness quickly, though, and Gerard hated himself for it. He hadn’t realized, before, what he was doing to Frank. He had been fucking blind, and his mistakes had cost him dearly.
“Really? I mean…don’t you have more important-“
Gerard covered his lips gently, shaking his head. “Uh-uh. Nothing more important than you. Plus, I haven’t taken vacation days since…” He honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had taken a vacation of any kind.
“2006.” Frank said it quietly, eyes downcast. “We went to Disney, remember?”
Gerard nodded slowly, his chest aching at the thought. He hadn’t taken time just to be with Frank in the past three years. Three fucking years. “I do remember. That was fun, huh?”
Frank’s grin was back in place and he nodded. “Yeah, it was. Especially watching you geek out over all the Star Wars shit.” Gerard shoved him playfully, glad when Frank wrapped his arms around his chest, refusing to be moved. “So…” Frank’s voice was serious now, and Gerard couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy. “What’s up with you this morning?”
“I told you. Bad dream. Really fucking bad dream.” Which could have been true, really. He perked up, thinking it. Hell, that was far more likely than some angel turning back time for him. He had probably just had a really realistic dream, nothing more. Still, he knew now he had a lot of changing to do. He put a smile on for Frank, kissed the top of his head.
“Everything’s ok now. it’s…it’s great.” He pushed up to sit up against the headboard, pulling Frank with him, still held tight to his chest. Reaching over with one arm he grabbed his cigarettes and lighter off the nightstand, tapping one out into his hand and lighting it. Frank took it from his lips almost immediately, eyes closing as he took his drag. Gerard laughed, ruffled Frank’s hair gently. “Get your own, huh?”
“Why, when I’ve already got yours? You get a new one.” His eyes were sparkling and Gerard leaned in to kiss his forehead. He could hardly bear to keep his lips off his skin.
“Nah, we can share. Plus,” He leaned over again, carefully lifting his coffee cup and bringing it to his lips. “I have coffee too.”
They were quiet a moment before Frank reached up and took the cup, passing the cigarette back to Gerard’s lips. “Oh, hey, Gee, I found this really awesome key on the table by the door; I think Mikey musta left it when he was here the other day.”
Gerard choked, his heart skipping a beat. “K-key?”
If Frank noticed his shock, he didn’t show it. “Yeah. It’s frickin’ gold, some kinda design at the top…artsy, you’d like it.”
“Oh I, ah…I saw it outside, on the street. Picked it up the other day.” His mind was racing, incoherent, his arm tightening around Frank’s back. It had been real. It was all fucking real. He jerked his head to the side, catching the time on the clock. 9:15. He was already quite a few hours into his first day. Distracted, he jerked when Frank lay his hand against his cheek.
“You sure you’re ok, Gee? I can tell something’s still bothering you.”
He took a deep breath, passed the cigarette back to Frank and pulled him up a little higher, kissing his temple. “Nope. Everything’s fine.” Still, he was certain Frank could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “So…” he put the cigarette out in the ashtray by the bed, tipped Frank’s chin up to look him in the eyes. “How about I take off work till after Christmas and we go somewhere? How does that sound?”
“It…sounds…way too good to be true.” His eyes were wary, uncertain. “You sure you’re-“
“I’m fine. I just want to spend time with you.” He smiled, forced. He was desperately wishing he could beat the shit out of himself. “That ok?”
Even laying down, Frank managed to push himself up enough to half pounce on him, taking Gerard’s face in his hands and kissing his lips. “Ok? It’s fuckin’ awesome.” He grinned, tugged Gerard’s lower lip between his teeth. “So, where are we going?”
“Anywhere you want.” His hands were restless, sliding absently up and down over Frank’s ribs. “You pick.”
“Anywhere?”
“Yeah, seriously, anywhere.” And maybe if they went far enough, they just wouldn’t be back in town on the 24th. He couldn’t exactly die in the same accident if they were on the other side of the world, now, could he?
Frank sat back, tugging on his arm. “Well come on then! Let’s go!”
~~~~~
Gerard sighed, staring in slight disbelief at the location on the AmTrak sign. “Really?”
“Gee…” Frank gave him his ‘puppy’ look, full on pleading eyes. “You said anywhere.”
He sighed again, pulling out his wallet. “Yeah, yeah I did. I just thought we’d be goin’ somewhere other than home.” He stepped up to the window, eyes on his hands. “Two tickets to Newark please.” He turned his head, spoke to Frank over his shoulder. “We’ll have to catch another train there. Far as I can tell nothing goes straight through to Belleville.”
“Or call Ray to come get us.”
Despite how much he didn’t want to go home, the excitement in Frank’s voice was definitely a good thing. Gerard smiled, half heartedly. “True. We can get Ray to drive us if you want.” He reached out, taking Frank’s hand and twining their fingers tightly. “Come on, babe.” He couldn’t bear to not be touching him, even for a moment. They had always been close, even more so before he had gotten so caught up in work, but now…now it was more important than ever. Like always, he could feel the eyes following them but he had stopped lashing out about it years ago. If they didn’t like seeing them together, they could fucking claw their eyes out for all he cared, but he wasn’t going to start something. Not to say that he wouldn’t finish something if someone else was stupid enough to make a smart ass remark.
Once on the train they settled in, and Gerard smiled as Frank nestled in against his chest. “Sleepy, huh?”
“You know I get bored on long rides.”
He chuckled, smoothed his hand over Frank’s back. “It’s ok.” He kissed his forehead, brushing his bangs aside. “Just sleep. I’ll wake you just before we get there.”
It wasn’t long before he was fast asleep, his breath soft and even against Gerard’s skin. He looked so beautiful in his sleep, looked so much younger. For a moment Gerard could see him the day he turned 18, his hair shaved close and dyed red on the sides, his scorpion tattoo fresh on his neck. They had stayed out all night, and he had fallen asleep in Gerard’s lap on the Way’s couch. It seemed so long ago, now, the days when he was still living in his mom’s basement and getting through art school, waiting for Frank to be old enough to move out and in with him.
Home. Gerard brought one hand up to rub his eyes, fighting the headache that came with the thought. He needed a cigarette. He almost laughed at the thought, shook his head slightly. He wasn’t even home yet and it was already wrecking his nerves. There were a lot of good memories in Belleville, that was true, but all of them involved Frank. The bad ones…those were enough to keep him away. He had taken the best of Belleville with him when he left, and after his mother’s death he had felt no need to ever return. Ray and Christa came to see them at least twice a year, and other than them there was no one in town worth missing.
Still, this was what Frank had wanted. Everything, now, had to be about what Frank wanted. That was all that was important, though he was doing his best not to think of why it was so vitally important. And at that, he was failing miserably.
~~~~~
“Hey, Gee, I’m gonna jump in the shower before we go out ok?”
Gerard felt his heart twist painfully. Frank and his showers. Something so normal, so everyday. He sighed, ran one hand through his hair and tried to make sure his voice didn’t betray him when he spoke. “Yeah, ok. That an invitation?’
Frank giggled, the sound muffled through the door. “It would be, but if it was we’d never get out the door and you know it.”
“Mmhm. And the problem is?”
He laughed harder, and Gerard could feel his hands shaking. The more hours in the day slipped by, the less he became sure he could do this without breaking down. “Gee! I told you, I wanna go out tonight. Walk around town, you know.”
“Walking around Belleville’s about as safe as sleeping in a New York subway station, but alright.” He lit a cigarette, took a long drag before saying anything else. “Alright. I’ll be out here waiting on you, ok? Take your time, babe.”
“Hello, Gerard.”
Gerard jerked, dropping his cigarette and catching it just in time, brushing ashes off his jacket. Jackson was leaning against the bed post across from him, that same maddening gentle smile. “Shit, give me some warning next time, huh?”
Jackson shook his head, smiling wider. “You’re more jumpy than a trip wire, Gerard. You’ve gotta relax. Frank knows something’s up.”
He was right, really. There had a been a scream clawing at his throat ever since he’d realized everything that had happened was actually real, and he was now living in a goddamned ticking time bomb. And now, it was going to take all he had to keep from yelling at the top of his lungs. “I’ve gotta calm down? I’ve got to calm down? Oh, sure thing. Knowing I only have-“ His eyes darted to his watch, checking, “A little over 50 hours left with Frank, surely, it shouldn’t be that hard to calm the fuck down.”
The smile dropped, seriousness coming into Jackson’s eyes. “You didn’t have to agree to this, you know. If you don’t want-“
“NO!” It had come out much louder than he expected and he took a deep breath, pausing a minute to make sure he could hear the sound of the shower running in the bathroom still. “No. Look, I’m trying, ok? I just…every fucking thing, I keep thinking…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, the words sticking in this throat. It was hard enough to think them much less say them. That this could be the last chance he had to join Frank in the shower, the last chance he had to hear him laugh, last chance for a thousand everyday things, the little things that everyone saw in the one they loved but never really realized they were in love with until they really stopped to think.
“I know.” he did sound as if he understood, for a moment. “I just came to tell you there’s something else for you to consider. Any plans for an early Christmas present you could give Frank? Something really special? A last gift?”
Gerard felt his chest tighten, and he cursed under his breath. “Beautiful. As if I wasn’t already doing enough, trying to fix the fucking mess I made, now I’ve gotta find the perfect present? How the hell am I supposed to do all this at once?” He shook his head, frustrated. “I need more time. Three days isn’t enough to make up for what a fuck up I’ve been.”
“Sorry. Deal’s a deal, and that’s all I was allowed to offer you. You’re going to have to make do with what you’ve got.”
He was trying so very hard not to last out again, and he bit his tongue until he tasted blood. “Right. So…can you give me any hints about this perfect gift I’m supposed to find?”
Jackson shrugged, shaking his head. “I may know what it is, but that doesn’t mean I can tell you, Gerard. Think about it. You already know the things Frank wants most, even if you don’t realize you know.”
“So I know, and I don’t know. Perfect, thank you for being so fucking helpful.”
“Just give it some thought, Gee.” He stepped forward, let his hand fall on Gerard’s shoulder, ignoring it when it flinched. “And try to relax, ok? Just enjoy your time with him.”
“What’s left of it.” He muttered the words darkly, seeing the accident all over again in his head.
“Gee? You talking to someone?”
Gerard jerked, head snapping back over his shoulder, relieved to find the bathroom door still closed. When his gaze came back around, Jackson was gone. “Yeah, talking to Mikey.”
“Oh, well tell him I said hey!”
“Yeah, course.” He mumbled his way through getting out of a fake conversation, ‘hanging up’ quickly and stepping over to the bathroom door, not bothering to knock before opening it. Frank stood in front a steamed up mirror, a towel hanging loosely around his waist. His hair was still dripping water, his skin glistening and damp. Gerard licked his lips unconsciously, his eyes roving uncontrolled over his husband’s body.
Frank blushed under his open scrutiny, as he did every time. He could never seem to understand why Gerard found him so beautiful. Ludicrous, in Gerard’s mind. There was no way Frank could ever be considered anything but beautiful. His eyes swept his torso, down to the skin visible just above his waist, the almost mirror image sparrow tattoos on his hips.
“…and you haven’t heard a word I said, have you?”
Gerard’s eyes met Frank’s, and he let himself be lost in them. “Sorry, babe. Too distracted.” He grinned, stepped fully into the room and up to Frank, pulling him forward by his hips. “You have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?”
His looked up shyly, seductive without ever knowing it. “So you say.”
“ ‘Cause it’s true.” He took Frank’s chin in his hand, gently tilted it up to gain access to his neck. Dipping his head he sucked on the warm, damp skin just over his pulse, felt his pants tighten when Frank whimpered.
“Gee…later?”
“Mmhm.” He stopped just short of marking him, reluctantly, though he continued trailing soft kisses across his bare skin. “I know. We’re going out.” He paused again, lips fastening onto a new patch of skin and reveling in the way he could feel Frank’s heartbeat quicken against his chest. “I just wanted a taste.” He switched sides, ran his tongue lightly over the scorpion and felt Frank shiver. He pulled back then, drinking in the look on Frank’s face. He was flushed, lips slightly parted, hazel eyes sparkling with love and lust. There was no rush greater than knowing he’d been the one to put that look on his face, that he was the only one that ever had. He had always thought he’d be seeing that look in his eyes every day for the rest of his life. Thoughts like that weren’t exactly good for maintaining any semblance of calm, and he pushed it aside quickly, leaning in for a simple, sweet kiss. “Love you.” However many hours he had left, he was going to say it every chance he got.
“Love you too, Gee.”
Smiling, Gerard stepped back, giving them both some room. “Alright, get dressed. And quick, cause if you keep walking around like that I’m not responsible for my actions.”
He soaked up the sound of Frank’s laughter, followed him into the hotel room to wait while he changed. The clock on the night stand seemed to be blaring its numbers at him. 7:30.
2 days 4 hours 22 minutes. It was not enough time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I know this chapter was shorter, and I’m sorry, but I DID warn you. I will be trying to update frequently, and I just finished my last final today (YAY!!!) so hopefully, I’ll be having some more time to write.
Thanks so much to everyone who read last time, and especially to IeroMyHeroMCR for an awesome review! :D Thank you! All of you, please let me know what you’re thinking…review make my day, so if you can do that for me, that’s completely awesome. ^^
Hope everyone’s enjoying this so far!
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