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Holly Evans and the Spiral Path

Chapter 10: Tainted Love



24th January, 1993



Dear Harry,

I haven't written for a while. Maybe you can guess why. While the headmaster didn't seem to be interfering with our studies in mind magic, Hermione and Ihad come to the conclusion that the less written to you, the less you could accidently reveal. I'll try and transcribe the Occlumency study guide in the back pages of this journal for you to learn. Learning to defend your mind can't be a bad idea, but I guarantee it takes time, as neither of us has got it down to a skill yet.

Anyway, the reason I am finally breaking down to communicate with you is that I had aconversation with Prof McG that explains a few things.



Transcription: 24th January, 1993 starting 8:46 AM GMT

Minerva McGonagall (MM) is sitting at a desk in an office. Holly Evans (HE) is sitting opposite the desk, nervously bouncing her right leg in place.

HE: Why did you want to see me Professor?

MM: It has come to my attention that you are under a great deal of stress lately.

HE: Well, my best friend was the laughingstock of the school until Hagrid let it slip that I can speak with snakes, so now the school thinks I'm the Heir of Slytherin and trying to murder the impure, despite the fact that my best friend happens to be one when she's less feline. So, yes, I have been feeling a bit ...off.

MM: Yes, well I believe some of your anxiety may actually be my fault.

HE: Your fault, Professor?

MM: When I gave you your journal, I saw that you didn't have much trust in others. I could foresee you having a difficult time here, even without your connections to famous boy heroes and such. I know how important it can be to have a repository for your thoughts and feelings, especially in our world. Your journal was already enchanted to prevent intrusion and to link it to its brother, so Iadded-another-subtle-charm-to-encourage-you-to-use-it.

HE: I'm sorry, Professor. You said that last bit very quickly. Did you just say I am compelled to write in my journal?

[pause]

Professor?

MM: Well, yes. I also mentioned that it is protected and that you shouldn't be afraid to continue using it. In fact, you will find it most relieving to do so at this point.

HE: Professor McGonagall, I feel you owe me right now. You have deliberately manipulated me supposedly to increase my sense of trust.

MM: Yes, well, I hope you can find some comfort in knowing I'm very poor at this sort of deception from a lack of practical experience.

HE: Strangely, I do. You still owe me. I would like an oath from you. A magical oath.

MM: What sort of oath did you have in mind?

HE: Tell me the truth, for once.

MM picks up her wand from the desk and holds it in front of her pointing to the ceiling.

MM: By my magic, I swear I shall tell the truth for the rest of this meeting, unless by doing so I would violate any other oath I may be under; in such circumstance I shall simply state 'I cannot say'. So mote it be.

HE: Um, okay. Imean...So mote it be.

A tendril of magic swirling around MM's wand splits into two threads that strike both occupants of the room.

HE: My journal; how is it protected? How is it linked to Harry? What spells are on it?

MM: Your journal is protected by a sealed Secrecy Charm that only allows you to open it. It has aNotice-Me-Not charm to prevent others from finding it when it is closed. Iadded the Compulsion Charm when I enchanted it to automatically add new pages as it is used. I believe you have also learned to cast the secrecy charm from Miss Granger to protect the contents from others as you write. The journal is linked by a Protean Charm to its companion volume, such that everything written in it appears in the companion.

HE: ...and Harry reads it?

MM: Harry Potter sees everything you write.

HE: About Harry; how much contact does the Headmaster have with him?

MM: I believe the Headmaster has spoken to Harry a few times, but they rarely interact.

HE: Does the Headmaster read the journal?

MM: No, he has no access to it, by the same secrecy charms that apply to yours.

HE: What is Harry like?

MM: I cannot say.

HE: What do you mean you...oh, sorry. I should have picked up on the phrasing.

MM: Quite.

HE: Can you remove the Compulsion?

MM: All the enchantments were sealed under the same warding runes. It would require all the spells to be removed and re-added. You would lose the content. I am sorry.

HE: Why have I been able to stand not writing in it up until now? I mean, I barely wrote in it last year.

MM: The Compulsion Charm takes effect slowly as the pages are used. The more you write in it, the more you will feel the compulsion. Lately you've been studying Occlumency, which allows you to resist external influences.

HE: Have you ever considered a job as a drug dealer?

MM: Not until you just mentioned it.

HE: I didn't mean...never mind. So I can use the journal to help test my Occlumency progress?

MM: I believe so. I am not well-versed in Occlumency. Professor Snape would be the authority amongst the staff.

HE: What are the answers on our next Transfiguration test?

MM: The next test is apractical exam. I am sure you and Miss Granger will do well. Are you about through? We do have class in a few minutes.

HE: One more thing. Does Dumbledore read people's minds regularly?

MM: I cannot speak to his habits, but the Headmaster has been known to do so for the Greater Good, as he would put it.

MM starts to rise from her chair.

HE: Professor, did you know my mother?

MM moves to sit at the edge of the desk.

MM: Yes, I did. I taught Lily all seven years and was proud to have her as a prefect for Gryffindor and as Head Girl . Lily was a startling talent, attractive and popular. She picked up a wicked sense of humour in her last few years.

[pause]

Lily loved you very much.

HE gasps and looks into MM's eyes. MM smiles.

HE: Thank you, Professor.

Transcription ends.



I'm fairly certain I now know how a heroin addict feels at the end of a dry spell. I was beginning to have nightmares about angry quills chasing after me as Islid on giant pages like slides at a water park. They were replacing my more common nightmares about exploding heads and trolls erupting like overripe pimples, so this is a mixed blessing.

I am still kicking myself for the million questions I could have asked Prof McG during that meeting. Still, what I got answered has been meaningful for me in anumber of ways. Prof McG knows that Mum loved me. She knows it, not like it's just a belief. Minerva saw that love somehow.



Anyway, now that security has been addressed, I can let you in on a few recent events.

I could see that Hermione wasn't going to well handle the attention that would be coming her way once the students returned and discovered her condition. It is one thing when a schoolmate does something embarrassing; the average student will tease them mercilessly for a day or two, happy that they aren't the center of attention until something else draws the focus of the mob. It is something different when a student ostracized for being more capable than any of her peers and quite a few of the older students is finally caught in a public and humiliating mistake. The only way to offset that sort of feeding frenzy is with a scandal. Revealing my moment with Hermione would fit the bill for sex and intrigue, but wouldn't preserve her reputation or sanity in the least. I wasn't going to confess to being the Spider, as it would lead to expulsion and possible jail time. That left the question of whom the Heir of Slytherin might be; that's why I chose to leak my Parseltongue ability to the hungry masses through Hagrid. It turned out to be a good idea beyond what I had planned, mostly. I originally transcribed this to a loose parchment, so I could copy it in later, which ends up being now.



Transcription: 7th January, 1993 starting 6:18 PM GMT

Rubeus Hagrid (RH) hands a cup of tea to Holly Evans(HE), then sits down across from her in front of his hearth.

RH: 'At's a poor bit o'luck, 'Ermione gettin' teased an' all.

HE: She's really trying to keep a good face on it, but I can tell the teasing is hurting her. I wish Icould lend her some of my indifference.

RH: Ye've a good heart and a good hide, there Holly. Ye don' look ta be in bright spirits either, tho, if'n I might say.

HE: Hagrid, do you ever wish you could talk to the animals? I mean, the ones that don't talk with humans already.

RH: Well, it isn't like the ones that can't speak probably have that much to say. There be special wizards what can speak to certain kinds o' animals, but I doubt ye'd get aconversation from an earthworm, now would ye?

HE: So what's the lower limit?

RH: Beg yer pardon?

HE: Well, in the muggle world, scientists don't expect much communication from anything without a brain they can see, yet birds aren't particularly large-headed and I think Hedwig could outsmart half the Gobstones team. So what's the smallest creature that you'd expect to communicate?

RH: Well, ye've got two different notions there Holly. Hedwig is a post-owl an' yer familiar besides, so she'd outsmart any normal owl jest by bein' magical. Fer a normal critter, well Fang here has enough sense to run from danger, yet he'll stick by me side when we visit the Acromantulas.

HE: Acro-whats, now?

RH: Acromantulas-they're large intelligent spiders, an' right talkative too. Ye don' even need ta speak a special language. Aragog talks the King's English right proper, better'n I do at any rate!

HE: Aragog is your friend, and he's a giant spider?

RH: I raised 'im from awee thing, an' even found him a wife when the time came.

HE smiles widely.

HE: That was very considerate. I would love to meet him.

RH: Really? Most folks give the deeper forest a wide berth ta keep from meetin' Acromantulas. Even the centaurs keep their distance except when in numbers.

HE puts down her teacup and begins to use her hands while talking.

HE: Well, when I was younger I used to watch the spiders in my room build their webs and such. Itried talking to them but they never said anything back. I think it would be wonderful to talk with Aragog just to know what the spider thinks as they spin, as they lie in wait and all.

RH: I knew there was areason we got along!

HE: Cheers! So what other types of super creatures are there?

RH: How do you mean?

HE: Well, the Acromantulas are super spiders, the post-owls are super owls, dragons are like a super lizard I suppose.

RH: They are not!Dragons are a breed apart they are! The very notion! You're having me on a bit aren't ye?

HE: Yeah, a bit. What you said earlier, about wizards talking to certain animal types; is there adragon language?

RH: Not that Charlie Weasley has ever mentioned, tha's fer sure. No, the only sort that might talk ter dragons would be a parseltongue, one that speaks to snakes.

HE: Well, I've spoken to snakes, and I can say that Norbert never said anything that I could understand.

RH: Well, Norbert was jes' a wee tyke an'...Oi! Yer havin' me on again aren't ye?

HE: What? No, I didn't hear Norbert say anything, I swear.

RH: Not that! Ye jes'said ye can talk with snakes!

HE: Well, yeah. I mean Ionly did it once when we were at a zoo for my cousin's birthday. That said, I have been hearing some disturbing whispers in the halls lately.

RH moves his chair in closer to where HE is sitting. RH stares into HE's eyes.

RH: Holly, this is important. Ye're not talkin' with snakes, asking 'em to do anythin' are ye?

HE: Hagrid, what are you on about? You're making me nervous! What's wrong with talking to snakes? You talk to spiders, which I'd love to do. It wasn't my choice to be able to talk to snakes!

RH: Now, don't get upset! Ye're jes' not meant to have that talent- it doesn't normally show in any but Dark Arts practitioners ye know?

HE: I'm dark? You think I'm dark? Hagrid, how could you?

HE stands up quickly and exits the hut in a tearful rush.

Transcription ends.



Sometimes I love being a girl, just because we can seem to have an emotional outburst about almost anything without people being any the wiser. It took about three days for Hagrid to express his worry about offending me to someone in enough company that the cause of my grief became widely known, happily just as Hermione's cat-astrophe was beginning to gain momentum. Unfortunately, I hadn't predicted a side-effect of being her scapegoat and her partner in potions mishaps at the same time; people are starting to think I was experimenting on her. Ron outmaneuvered me by visiting Hermione to warn her of my newest dark tendency while I was chatting with Hagrid a week later. I had to assure him I had forgiven him for the slip of the tongue. Hermione told me about Ron's visit after, saying he was actually kind of sweet with his concern. I asked her if she allowed him to stroke her fur. She didn't take it well.

Actually, Hermione is a bit upset with me for other reasons. It seems I'm making real progress in Occlumency while Hermione is stuck at the first step. The instructions from Perenelle's notebook indicate beginning in mind magics is best served by organising your mind. Hermione had that going anyway. The trick here is that while my mind may not be organised, I have developed a tendency to misdirect and hide my emotions and intentions as a matter of survival. If anything, Hermione's organised mind would only make it easier for me to sort through and find a memory. I say it would, as Hermione hasn't actually let me try Legilimens on her yet. It's a fair cop- I haven't offered to let her try me either, as I'm afraid of what she'll think if she sees how I truly see things, and what I've gone through to arrive at these attitudes. I'd trust her before anyone else, but I'd rather see her defenses shored up before we take that step.

In the meantime, we test our Occlumency by trying to resist the effect of spells that Occlumency can affect, like the Notice-Me-Not charm and Compulsion charm. They're fifth- and seventh- year spells, but we got a handle on them fairly quickly. I think some spells are learned later for what can be done with them, rather than how hard they are to cast.



I first tried Legilimens on Hedwig. I think she approved, as I felt no resistance when I started the spell. At first I was disoriented, seeing with her mind's eye while still viewing the dorm room. I quickly learned to close my eyes for these experiments. Hedwig showed me the actual course of events when she played tug-of-war with the Great Squid. I could feel myself, as her, pulling and struggling with the pheasant's wing in my beak and one claw gripping its neck, my wings beating furiously to dislodge my prey from this interloper's tightening grip. Eventually the pheasant pulled apart and I, rather Hedwig kept the wing for enjoyable snacking. I then flipped to a second memory, of swooping over the lake and snagging an errant mouse that had unwisely chosen to venture out in the winter cold. I as Hedwig swooped down silently and snatched it up before it knew it was in danger. Then I beat my wings heavily to gain altitude until I could fly into the hospital ward window. I landed on Hermione's bed frame and dropped the now dead mouse on her bedside table. Imagine my surprise when Hermione smiled up at me weakly and popped the mouse into her mouth. The memory ended with Hermione speaking in what seemed like a foreign tongue, but Icould understand that the intention was gratitude and a bit of girly collusion. I think this may become my favorite topic in magical learning. Too bad I don't have a teacher for it.



Holly



*



28th January, 1993



Dear Harry,

Hermione will be discharged in about a week. I was heading out from visiting her when Isaw that Myrtle had flooded her loo again. I went to see if I could offer her asympathetic ear. Since Sir Nicholas was made smoke-like and unresponsive during the attack on Justin Finch-Fletchley back in December, I haven't had much ghostly contact.



Transcription: 28th January, 1993 starting 8:04 PM GMT

Myrtle Henderson's (MH) ghost erupts from a lavatory stall as Holly Evans (HE) enters the room.

MH: Who goes there? What do you want? Go away!

HE: Myrtle, it's Holly. I know someone has been unkind to you. Why don't you come out here and tell me what happened?

MH: Oh, Holly it was awful!

HE: I know, people can be so cruel...

MH: Well, don't interrupt!

HE: Sorry.

MH: Oh, Holly it was awful! There I was hanging around the u-bend when that flame-haired trollop with the wandering eyes comes rushing in here and chucks a book through me!That sordid little twat should be strung up by her pigtails and spun until she spews out what little value her still breathing corpse carries in this rotting world!

HE: Ginny threw a book at you?

MH: Yes, and it wasn't even a valuable book. Just some crusty old diary without any writing in it at all! The least the little bint could've done is leaveme some juicy wank fantasies to share! Honestly, it's like they don't tell these schoolgirls the least bit about decently sharing their tawdriness with the walking dead. Don't they teach anything about ghosts?

HE: I'd take that up with Binns- history is his domain.

MH: Oooh! Do you think Ishould? Seems to me the subject is sorely lacking in diversity!

HE: I guarantee 4/5ths of the students would agree wholeheartedly.

MH: Well, what's wrong with the rest of them then?

HE: There are always troublemakers.

MH: Oh, I'd kiss you, but you're a girl.

HE: (subvocal) ...and not ethereal.

Transcription ends.



In case you are wondering, that's what Hermione meant when she said I can handle ghosts like untrained puppies. It really only applies to Myrtle. I got a handle on her early when I realised no one ever asked her what her last name was. After that she chatted with me and I picked up her pattern- let her rant, then give her a mission that won't cross a house ghost or put her against Peeves the Poltergeist.

I retrieved the diary Myrtle mentioned. Hermione and I will have to give it a go-there's no way a girl gets upset at an empty diary, so there must be enchantments on it. Ginny has been weirder lately and this is the first clue I've gotten that might shed some light on her change in behavior. If you think I'm rotten for trying to read her diary, keep in mind that I never trusted this journal writing in the first place. The only reason I continue writing in this one is that it has saved me from a critical mistake, plus Minerva has me strung out on it now. If Ginny's diary turns out to be nothing but dreams and gossip, I'll find a way to get it back in her hands without compromising her secrets, and preferably without her knowing I read it.

As to Ginny's more bizarre behavior, she approached me in the common room about two weeks ago, asking me to forgive her for talking about my scars and the loaned dress. I wasn't going to give her an opening, but Ron was there and insisted that it was out of character for her and I should let the girl have afirstie moment. Later, she showed up in my dorm room and asked to see me in the dress again. It was creepy, as for one thing the dress she gave me was a light cotton summer thing. I could tell she was waiting for me to undress and put on the frock, in the way you'd expect a degenerate uncle at a family reunion to ask to watch over the girls in their swimsuits 'for their safety'. I told her that it was winter and she could have it back for all it mattered. Then she said something that threw me more.

"It's not like you wouldn't enjoy taking your clothes off for another girl, even if I'm not Hermione."

I acted like she had just reminded me that Hermione was waiting for my copy of our homework assignments and dashed out and returned back to the hospital wing. I couldn't bring myself to tell Hermione what Ginny said, though. Now I'm thinking maybe I should have.

The other strange Ginny incident happened two days ago. I was leaving the Great Hall from lunch when Neville caught up with me and pointed out that Ginny had my wand that I had left behind at the table. There's no chance I would have lost track of my wand, but I asked her for it politely, as if she had done me afavor. Ginny looked surprised to see it in her hand, and handed it to me without hesitation.

I will be very interested in seeing what Hermione and I can glean from her diary. I can only hope Myrtle doesn't let her know I have it for a while.



Holly



*



Valentine's Day, 1993



Dear Harry,

This has been too much fun, but I'll get to the good part after I catch you up. Hermione was cleared for departure on the first. She's almost normal; her hair's straighter, she doesn't sleep through the night and prefers eating meat-she kept the longer fangs, which balances out her larger front teeth which also seem smaller, but overall Hermione is back to being human. That didn't save her from a resurgence in teasing the minute she started appearing in regular classes again. With that in mind, I spent another afternoon in Hagrid's hut, 'accidently' mentioning the Sorting Hat's recommendation that I would do well in Slytherin. Hermione was saved from further torture from any but the Slytherin host, who were cowed slightly when Itold them I didn't choose Slytherin because 'as the Hat said, Salazar's legacy had been compromised by the privileged but dim-witted'. Thankfully that happened outside Herbology class, as I wouldn't have been keen on Professor Snape hearing me say that. The skin on my hands is just finally growing back normal.

The investigation into Ginny's diary has been a tad bizarre itself. We can't find any rune work or enchantments upon it. Even Scarpin's Revelaspell had nothing to say, yet if you drip some ink onto the page, it disappears. Hermione also confirmed that this is the same diary that she saw Ginny exhaustively writing in all last term. She noted it because it is dated from the 1940's. The only identifying mark is the name scrawled on the inside cover: T. M. Riddle. Ginny looks beside herself, yet also seems a little more normal. She's been spending more time with Ron and the twins.

So, today is Valentine's, and that's where our fun begins.

Lockhart decided that Valentine's Day should be celebrated to the utmost, personally redecorating the Great Hall with the most lurid collection of purple, pink and red streamers and decorations. To top it off, he hired a cadre of dwarfs to dress up like cherubim to deliver written and occasionally, musical valentine's greetings to those who would pay for the service. Aside from the kickback he was receiving for the deliveries, I can only imagine that he saw the dwarfs as acomically cute distraction from the horrors of this year. In my eyes, they appeared to be rejects from some southeast asian porno film shoot. Obviously, it was tickling my sense of something, for when Lockhart suggested that we might ask Professor Snape to concoct a love potion to celebrate the day, I suggested to Hermione that she try out Scarpin's Revelaspell with the potion keys on our feast, just to be sure some concocting hadn't already occurred. Scarpin's will display a translucent scroll-like display above the object it is cast upon, so when Hermione's component list started to scroll out above the Gryffindor table, we suddenly had some guests.



Transcription: 14th February, 1993 starting 6:12 PM GMT

Hermione Granger (HG) is sitting next to Holly Evans (HE) at the Gryffindor table, having just cast Scarpin's Revelaspell. Albus Dumbledore (AD) quickly approaches the students at the table, followed by Minerva McGonagall (MM) and Severus Snape(SS).

AD: What do you think you are doing Miss Granger?

MM: Indeed, I am impressed you have mastered Scarpin's spell so early in your career.

SS: ...And with the fluid checks included. Interesting...

AD: That will be 10 points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for casting spells outside of class.

HG: Um...

HE pours some pumpkin juice into a vial under the table and returns it to her robes.

MM: Really, Headmaster?I don't recall that rule, particularly for a diagnostic spell.

AD waves his hand and the scrolling result from HG's spell dissipates into abluish mist.

AD: You will explain yourself, Miss Granger!

HE: Sir, Hermione cast the spell because I was concerned about Professor Lockhart's suggestion of the use of Love potions. I wanted to make sure no one had tainted our food with ill intentions.

SS: If anyone had tainted the food, I believe you would be the primary suspect at this point, Miss Evans.

HE: All the better then that Hermione cast it- one could not say that I fudged the results.

Several older students begin casting the spell on their plates and cups.

AD: Enough! The Valentine's feast is cancelled due to concerns about tampering. Evanesco!

All the food and beverages disappear from the tables in the Great Hall at the wave of the Headmaster's wand. The tables groan slightly from the sudden release in weight.

AD: Prefects, lead your houses back to your common rooms, where you will find sandwich platters and casks of drink will be provided shortly! Miss Evans, you will come to my office.

HE: What did I do, sir?

MM: Yes, what did she do?

AD: Never mind. I need to speak with the kitchen staff anyway. This conversation will wait for another day.

Transcription ends.



I'd like to be able to say that I got away with my sample of the juice, but the Headmaster was wily and his Vanishing spell caught the contents of my vial along with the rest of the feast. We had no proof, but I swear we should be able to use Hermione's memory as testimony:

"There was a loyalty draught mixed in with the juice and the pudding, utilising elements of the Philosopher's Stone along with some of the Headmaster's essence."

"Essence?"

"Usually that refers to a Vital humour."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know what it means, all I remember is areference to Vital Humours. It doesn't matter, I'm sure the Headmaster has our safety in mind with whatever he was doing."

"How do we purge a Loyalty draught?"

"There's a Cleansing draught, but it will take some time to brew. Madame Pomfrey probably keeps it in stock."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Really?"

"No, but we should head to the hospital wing anyway, just in case. Don't you think?"

"Alright."



Best wishes to you, Harry. Check your food.



Holly