FicWad

I hope this isn't confusing but parts of this chapter are written from Frank's POV.


Chapter Eleven - Time Cannot Erase

The road was so long and I was so tired. I could hear someone calling me, a voice that I thought I recognised, it had been faint at first but as I stepped closer the sweet lullaby tone became more clear and I felt myself being pulled towards it. I couldn't think straight and I had no recollection of how I ended up here but looking around me, i didn't even know where "here" was.

x------x

"Did this kid use a butchers knife or something?"

"We need to stop this bleeding,"

"Cross match 2 units," the doctor requested as a nurse immediately nodded and turned away from them.

"Something here is not right, he's tachycartic which could be the severe blood loss," another doctor added having just listened to his chest and watching the heart monitor, "But I don't like the look of him."

"Procainamide?" a doctor suggested.

The doctors agreed on the treatment, "Tell the lab I want the results of this blood tests asap, this kids taken something aswell."

At that moment Frank started to convulse, his body shaking violently as the medical team tried in vain to stabilise him.

"Did you page the surgical consult?" the doctor asked the nurse.

"Yes," she replied

"Try him again," the doctor ordered watching as the nurse grew increasingly frustrated as she picked up the phone once more. She slammed it down as she noticed the woman entering the room.

"Sorry I got held up, what do we have here?" the woman asked pulling on a pair of gloves. She surveyed the wounds as the doctor ran through the circumstances.

"Have you tried Lorazepam?" she suggested as Frank began to tremor again.

"Yes, but he's losing too much blood,"

"Okay, we don't have time to wait, can you check and make sure we have an O R free?" she instructed the nurse, "Tell them we need one now, this guys done a good job of slicing both his radial and ulnar artery and if we want to save his hands we need to move now."

x------x

As I sat on the ground still trying to figure out where the hell I was it suddenly hit me. I remembered going to that hotel room. I was raging mad when I went into that bathroom but it's all so hazy. I was so fucked up, I had taken some pills that Chris had given me I could remember that much. My heart was going like nothing else and all I wanted to do was sleep. As I looked down I suddenly realised that I didn't have any pants on just this long gown thing, fuck I had no clothes on. Those motherfuckers were playing with me again, I'm sat here in god knows where with just a hospital gown on that fucking Gerard had probably used on stage and I can't for the life of me remember how I ended up here. I can hear people talking but I can't make out the words. I can't breath, fucking hell, I'm suffocating. Something is in my throat and it's burning, I'm fighting to pull it out but it's no use I don't have the strength, I'm so very tired I mutter to myself as the darkness claims me.

x------x

"Blood tests are back," a voice shouted as the surgeon's washed themselves in the preparation room.

"Excellent,"

"He's positive for amphetamines," the junior doctor at the door informed them.

"That'll explain the heart irregularities, I can adapt the anasthetic to cover this but I wouldn't want to keep him under for too long,"

"Oh and he plays in a band for a living," the junior informed them.

"Just don't tell me it's guitar,"

"Fraid so,"

"Well he might have to find another instrument depending on the damage,"

x------x

Gerard was at breaking point as he continued to pace back and forth swearing under his breath and continuously biting his nails. Worm had tried his best to calm him down but he had eventually given up and now watched helplessly as all Gerard's anxieties emerged.

"Gerard,"

Gerard immediately looked towards the door as his brother walked in, "Mikey," he said instantly moving towards Mikey and hugging him close.

"Gerard, are you okay? Is Frank alright?" Mikey instantly asked.

"Has someone let Frank's Mom know?" Gerard asked.

"Brian phoned Linda earlier and he's organising to get her here," Ray told Gerard, "Have you heard anything?"

"Nothing, I'm going out of my mind," Gerard replied.

"They'll come and speak to us when they have more news plus we're not family so they might wait for his Mom to get here," Worm explained.

"I told him I hated him," Gerard mumbled.

"It was in the moment Gerard, you both said things that neither of you mean't," Ray replied trying to comfort the broken man in front of him.

"He was right though," Gerard added.

"About what?" Bob asked.

"What he said about Mikey? I'm doing it all again."

"No Gerard," Mikey instantly replied almost scolding his brother, "We're not going there again."

x------x

God she was so beautiful, she had this way of looking at me even if we were in a room packed with people and we'd catch each others attention. I imagined us getting married at some point and doing all the usual things like setting up home and having a family. We would often talk about it and people around us all assumed we would eventually do it. Maybe that was the problem, maybe I had just assumed too much and being away hadn't really helped. I should have known when she would say she couldn't speak for long when I was calling from fuck no's where or when she stopped coming to visit me when we were on tour. But there I was playing the stupid fuck believing that all was fucking brilliant whilst all the time she was fucking one of my closest friends. To now know that he had been in my house, that he had been in our bed and oh how they must have laughed when I would phone. All I could think about was him with his hands all over her and watching her as he fucked her. The way she looked at him as she came, that was my memory and the moments we shared was for me. All I could think about was them both laughing at me and how they had planned it all. This woman, my Janie, the woman who completed me and made my life worth living had anniliated my heart and my very being. I begged her to stay, to give me another chance, but it was no use and when she told me that she didn't love me anymore I didn't believe her. That phonecall when she told me to stop calling I still didn't want to give up. That was the night Gerard found me crying like a child on the floor of the bus. I couldn't tell him, nothing would come out, I was trapped in this hell. I stopped calling when Mark sent me an e-mail, ahh my old school friend Mark, we had been friends for over 20 years. He was there for me when my Dad left me and my Mom and I was there for him when his Mom was ill. But the e-mail, I must tell you about the e-mail, it was off him and Janie, he told me to stay away from her and that she loved him. Then the final nail in the coffin, he attached a picture of them together and she looked so happy and she was, she was pregnant.

x------x

Gerard shot out of his chair as the doctor entered the room.

"Are you Frank Iero's family?"

"No, but his Mom is on the way," Ray answered.

"Please let us know how he is," Gerard pleaded.

"Okay, I'm Doctor Thomas and I was in the ER when Frank was brought in,"

"Is he okay?" Bob anxiously asked.

"Mr Iero, sorry Frank was very ill when he arrived here, had lost a lot of blood and the mixture of the alcohol and drugs didn't help,"

"Drugs?" Worm suddenly said.

"Yes, Frank it seemed had taken amphetamines, anti-depressants and cannabis," the doctor confirmed.

"Fuck," Gerard replied.

"This was causing him to have seizures and amphetamines make the heart beat rapidly, the heart pumps less efficiently and there is less blood flow to the rest of the body, including the heart itself. The increased heart rate also leads to increased work and oxygen demand for the heart,"

"Frankie, what were you thinking," Ray muttered to himself.
"The combination of the drugs, the damage to his wrists and the surgery has put a tremendous pressure on his heart," the doctor explained, "We've repaired his wrists in theatre and he's now recovering in ICU,"

Ray hesitated for a moment, "Will he be okay?"

"It's really too early to tell at this stage but I'm confident that we've given him the best chance," the doctor confirmed, "We've got his seizures under control and we're clsoing monitoring his heart and lungs and so far everything looks great."

"When can we see him?" Gerard asked.

"Not at the moment, it's only close family at first and Frank is on a machine to help him breathe at the moment, this is just a precaution and to let his body recover from the trauma."

Gerard nodded.

"You guys are all in a band?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Mikey replied.

"Well I better get back," The doctor said standing up.

"Thank you," Gerard responded, "Frank is like a brother to us."

"We'll be able to do know more in regard to the extent of his injuries when Frank wakes up,"

"You mean he might not be able to play?" Ray asked suddenly feeling guilty for thinking fo something so trivial but knowing as a fellow guitar player how much this would mean to Frank as he felt his stomach twisting into knots with dread.

"Lets not think of that at the moment, the surgery went well and we can carry out a number of tests in the morning," Dr Thomas tried to reassure them, "Look he is in the best place, why don't you all get some rest and come back tomorrow."

"We'll just wait." Gerard responded.


Sorry it's taken me so long to update, I hope this is okay and please leave a review if you have time. I love reading reviews and I really appreciate it - thanks.