Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > Never Let This go
Past
"NO!" I screamed and pulled the covers over my head. Kate's dog was jumping all over my bed, excited. This dog has to be the happiest and most energetic dog on the planet. It is a chocolate lab and psycho. I pulled my body into the fetal position to protect my vital organs right when the comotion stopped.
"Get up! It's almost two and your phone rang earlier. The number wasn't in your phonebook." Kate said and I peeked at her over the covers. She was already dressed, of course, and sipping on some lemonade.
"When?" I questioned. I was hoping it was Brendon calling me like he had said.
"About an hour ago," she pulled my phone out of her pocket and tossed to me on my bed. She knew better than to try and have me catch it. It landed in front of me on the covers and I flipped open my phone. One missed call and a voicemail.
"Maybe it's Brendon," I said smiling and she giggled.
"It has to be. You didn't give your number out to anyone else last night. I mean hell, you barely paid attention to even me when he was around."
"Shut up," I said and dialed my voicemail.
"Hey Haylan it's Brendon for the bar last night. Just calling to see if you had plans for tonight. Just give me a call when you get this." His voice was even intoxicating through the phone. I felt myself melt as I listened and Kate had her head pressing up against my phone to hear it too.
"OOOOOO! Someone is going on a date tonight!" She squealed and I laughed with her. It had been so long since I'd dated. I broke up with my ex about 6 months earlier because he was a total loser and mooched off Kate and I. He also cheated on me with like, every female who would give him the time of day. Asshole... makes me mad just thinking about him.
"Wow, I haven't been on an actual date in about 2 years. Since before the scumbag. I don't know what to do anymore shit." I sat in realization.
"I'll help you get ready! Just call him and find out what he wants!" Kate was bouncing on the bed. I shushed her and called back the number for which I did not recognize.
"Hello?" His tone was laced with laughter.
"Hey Brendon? It's Haylan." I said nervously.
"Oh hi!" He seemed excited to talk to me, this was good. "Did you get my message?"
"Yes," I giggled. Why else would I be calling?
"Oh good. Do you have plans tonight?" He asked in a little more serious tone.
"No, today's my day off. What's up?" I was trying to sound casual and like I wasn't exploding with excitement.
"Well my friend is having a party tonight and I thought you might like to come. I'd also like to take you to dinner first."
"Sounds like fun," I said with the biggest smile ever.
"Great. How about dinner at 7, I'll pick you up." He seemed pleased with my answer. I stayed on the line and gave him directions before we ended the call and Kate screamed after I'd hung up.
"HAYLAN HAS A DATE! HAYLAN HAS A DATE!"
"Kate gees! You're as excited as I am!"
Present
I eventually had passed out on the plane ride and woke up when it landed. I hurried myself out of the plane and to the luggage claim so that I could get to my new apartment. Kate had moved here about a month ago to go back to college and she upgraded from a one bedroom to a two bedroom so that I could live with her again. No one knew when I would no longer be able to care for myself. And Kate and I had an agreement that if I became too much of a burden that we would hire a hospice service to assist with my needs so she could have her own life. I know she felt guilty about agreeing, but I'm not going to put that responsibility on anyone.
I turned my phone back on and saw that I had 10 text messages waiting. A couple were from Kate checking in on me. One from Ryan and the rest from Brendon. I didn't even read the ones that weren't from Kate because I didn't feel like crying again. I glanced up in time to see my bag and I grabbed it quickly. My phone rang and thank god it was Kate.
"Hey, I'm walking out now." I said.
"Okay good. See you in a sec." She hung up and I walked out of the terminal and to the pickup area and there she was. She popped her trunk and I threw my stuff in there before hopping into the passenger seat.
"Have my things arrived yet?" I had sent my belongings ahead of myself with a moving company.
"Yep, a few hours ago. They've already unloaded everything." She said and she seemed kind of tense.
"What's going on? You seem tense."
"Brendon called me," she said and kept looking forward as she drove us to our place.
"And," I said with a sad sigh.
"He seems desperate to have you back."
"Well he'll get over me," I said in a harsh tone. I wanted so much to make him hate me so that this would be an easier break for him. Our relationship had no problems at all. We were perfect for each other. With his career and entire life ahead of him, I couldn't stand to be the one to hold him back because someday, anyday really, I could become paralyzed and incapable of taking care of myself.
"Haylan, I understand where you are coming from with this, but just think about this from his point of view."
"If I were him, I'd thank me." I said. I knew it was a lie. I would take care of Brendon if he had multiple sclerosis, but for some reason I was selfish and refused to let anyone else's life be ruined by having to care for my needs.
"NO!" I screamed and pulled the covers over my head. Kate's dog was jumping all over my bed, excited. This dog has to be the happiest and most energetic dog on the planet. It is a chocolate lab and psycho. I pulled my body into the fetal position to protect my vital organs right when the comotion stopped.
"Get up! It's almost two and your phone rang earlier. The number wasn't in your phonebook." Kate said and I peeked at her over the covers. She was already dressed, of course, and sipping on some lemonade.
"When?" I questioned. I was hoping it was Brendon calling me like he had said.
"About an hour ago," she pulled my phone out of her pocket and tossed to me on my bed. She knew better than to try and have me catch it. It landed in front of me on the covers and I flipped open my phone. One missed call and a voicemail.
"Maybe it's Brendon," I said smiling and she giggled.
"It has to be. You didn't give your number out to anyone else last night. I mean hell, you barely paid attention to even me when he was around."
"Shut up," I said and dialed my voicemail.
"Hey Haylan it's Brendon for the bar last night. Just calling to see if you had plans for tonight. Just give me a call when you get this." His voice was even intoxicating through the phone. I felt myself melt as I listened and Kate had her head pressing up against my phone to hear it too.
"OOOOOO! Someone is going on a date tonight!" She squealed and I laughed with her. It had been so long since I'd dated. I broke up with my ex about 6 months earlier because he was a total loser and mooched off Kate and I. He also cheated on me with like, every female who would give him the time of day. Asshole... makes me mad just thinking about him.
"Wow, I haven't been on an actual date in about 2 years. Since before the scumbag. I don't know what to do anymore shit." I sat in realization.
"I'll help you get ready! Just call him and find out what he wants!" Kate was bouncing on the bed. I shushed her and called back the number for which I did not recognize.
"Hello?" His tone was laced with laughter.
"Hey Brendon? It's Haylan." I said nervously.
"Oh hi!" He seemed excited to talk to me, this was good. "Did you get my message?"
"Yes," I giggled. Why else would I be calling?
"Oh good. Do you have plans tonight?" He asked in a little more serious tone.
"No, today's my day off. What's up?" I was trying to sound casual and like I wasn't exploding with excitement.
"Well my friend is having a party tonight and I thought you might like to come. I'd also like to take you to dinner first."
"Sounds like fun," I said with the biggest smile ever.
"Great. How about dinner at 7, I'll pick you up." He seemed pleased with my answer. I stayed on the line and gave him directions before we ended the call and Kate screamed after I'd hung up.
"HAYLAN HAS A DATE! HAYLAN HAS A DATE!"
"Kate gees! You're as excited as I am!"
Present
I eventually had passed out on the plane ride and woke up when it landed. I hurried myself out of the plane and to the luggage claim so that I could get to my new apartment. Kate had moved here about a month ago to go back to college and she upgraded from a one bedroom to a two bedroom so that I could live with her again. No one knew when I would no longer be able to care for myself. And Kate and I had an agreement that if I became too much of a burden that we would hire a hospice service to assist with my needs so she could have her own life. I know she felt guilty about agreeing, but I'm not going to put that responsibility on anyone.
I turned my phone back on and saw that I had 10 text messages waiting. A couple were from Kate checking in on me. One from Ryan and the rest from Brendon. I didn't even read the ones that weren't from Kate because I didn't feel like crying again. I glanced up in time to see my bag and I grabbed it quickly. My phone rang and thank god it was Kate.
"Hey, I'm walking out now." I said.
"Okay good. See you in a sec." She hung up and I walked out of the terminal and to the pickup area and there she was. She popped her trunk and I threw my stuff in there before hopping into the passenger seat.
"Have my things arrived yet?" I had sent my belongings ahead of myself with a moving company.
"Yep, a few hours ago. They've already unloaded everything." She said and she seemed kind of tense.
"What's going on? You seem tense."
"Brendon called me," she said and kept looking forward as she drove us to our place.
"And," I said with a sad sigh.
"He seems desperate to have you back."
"Well he'll get over me," I said in a harsh tone. I wanted so much to make him hate me so that this would be an easier break for him. Our relationship had no problems at all. We were perfect for each other. With his career and entire life ahead of him, I couldn't stand to be the one to hold him back because someday, anyday really, I could become paralyzed and incapable of taking care of myself.
"Haylan, I understand where you are coming from with this, but just think about this from his point of view."
"If I were him, I'd thank me." I said. I knew it was a lie. I would take care of Brendon if he had multiple sclerosis, but for some reason I was selfish and refused to let anyone else's life be ruined by having to care for my needs.
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