Categories > Celebrities > Fall Out Boy > Press Play

snakes on a plane

by killxsmile 5 reviews

Some things just aren't meant to be.

Category: Fall Out Boy - Rating: PG - Genres: Humor,Romance - Published: 2009-05-24 - Updated: 2009-05-24 - 1301 words

Author's Note: Straight to the thank yous this time.

somethingorother: They both know it's a date, don't worry. (lol. It didn't come out it italics. To italicize, you do this [ insert text here ], but take out the spaces between brackets and slashes.)

doyleangel: I'm glad you're liking the Patrick/Juliet relationship. I like writing it as much as you like reading it.

chocolatechortle22: No, Patrick doesn't have a lab named Bailey. That was just my use of artistic license. I actually have no idea whether or not he has a dog. On another note, I'm working on DisasteRomance, but it's slow going...

Tissamy: MSI never fails to bring me out of a bad mood. Anyways, have fun in Canada.

FOURTEEN: snakes on a plane


Gotta change. Gotta change. Gotta change.

Those I passed in the hallway probably thought I resembled the rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, muttering to myself and running up the stairs as if the Queen of Hearts would decapitate me.

Being late was not an option.

Though I almost slipped a couple of times, I successfully made it to the third floor landing without breaking my neck.

“Keys…” I mumbled, searching my purse’s endless pockets for the small pieces of metal. Whoever decided that they should be tiny and pointy should be…well they’re probably long dead, so I guess I can’t really threaten them.

Upon opening the door, I was instantly greeted by a very hungry kitten.

“Hold on, Bella. Lemme at least get my coat off.” Instead of listening, she continued to circle my feet and paw at my already beat up Chucks. “What am I going to do with you?” I asked, picking her up and looking into her wide eyes. She nuzzled against my cheek and purred.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stay mad at a face like that. I set her down and she quietly meowed at my feet.

After de-winterizing myself—taking off my coat, hoody, scarf, hat and mittens—I headed off to the kitchen and filled her metal bowl with PurinaOne.

The clock read 5:10, giving me a little less than an hour to look presentable. I made my way to my room and stood in front of the mirror, surveying what I had to work with. Due to the wind and snow, my hair was a wavy mess and my make up needed to be redone.

Patrick Stump is going to be here at 6, and I look like I crawled out of a sewer.

Just as I slid the closet open, the intercom buzzer went off.

It can’t be him. Not this early… At least, I hope to God it isn’t.

“Hey,” I said, wondering who was on the other end.
“It’s Laur. In a hurry. Let me up?”

I quickly buzzed her up and heard her bounding up the stairs.

“Where’s the fire?” I asked, opening the door. Lauren bustled in with her 4-year old in tow.

“Hi, Auntie Juliet!” the little girl said.
“Hey, Sammi!”

“Sorry to barge in like this, but there’s an emergency at work and I couldn’t find a sitter,” she explained. “Could you—”
“Yeah,” I said, sensing the urgency in her voice.
“Thank you, Juliet. You’re a lifesaver.”

She wrapped me in a quick hug, then sprinted down the stairs. As I closed the door, I couldn’t help but sigh. Goodbye, date with Patrick.

Sam took off her coat and mittens then set them on the couch.

“What are we gonna do today?”
“A little bit of everything,” I said, taking a seat next to her. “But first I’ve got to make a call. Is that alright with you?”

She nodded, handing me the phone.
“Thanks, baby girl.”

Realizing that I didn’t have Patrick’s number, I got up and walked over to the dry erase board on the refrigerator. Surely enough, Parker’s number was scrawled on it in blue ink. As I dialed, Bella jumped onto the couch and settled next to Sam.

God, he’s gonna think I’m a bitch. Worse, he’s gonna think I’m a manipulative bitch. Fuck.

“Hey, Parker. It’s Juliet.”
“Oh, hey. What’s up?”
“I was wondering if you could you call Patrick and tell him that I’m really sorry, but something came up and I need to cancel our date.”
“Aw, what happened?”
“My sister had some kind of emergency at work, and I need to babysit her daughter today,” I explained.
“Alright. I’ll get that message to him pronto.”
“Thanks… and don’t forget to tell him that I’m REALLY sorry.”
“Yeah, no problem. He’ll understand.”
“Positive?” I still needed some reassurance.
“Like an aluminum ion.”
“3+ charge… I guess that’s pretty positive,” I replied, happy that he threw in some comic relief.
“Finally, someone who actually gets that reference. So you‘re a chemistry buff, too?”
“Yeah,” I said, looking back at the tiny girl sitting on my couch. “Well, I’ll talk to you later. We can discuss trends in atomic radii and the like.”
“Haha, alright.”

Still disappointed, I put the phone back on the receiver and walked back to the couch.

“Auntie J, I have a question,” she asked, flipping through channels.
“What is it?”
“What are you really sorry about?”
“Well, I was supposed to go to hang out with a boy today…”
“Oh…” she said, looking at the striped socks on her feet. “Is he cute?”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Who taught you to ask that?”
“My mommy always asks me that when I play with the boys in my class,” she explained. “So is he?”
“Yes. Very cute. And he can sing.”

“Well, I’m not a boy who can sing, but I still think we can have fun.”

I let out a chuckle.

“Me, too.”


“Ladies and gentleman, these snakes are slitherin—”
“Wif dolla signs in their eyes and tongues so reptilian,” Sammi continued.
“This industry’s venomous with cold-blooded sentiment—”
“No need for nervousness, it’s just a little turbulence!

The tiny brunette wrapped her arms more tightly around my neck as I ran through the hallway and into the living room.

“Turn! You’re gonna bump into a cloud!”
“Oh no, crash landing!” I yelled, half-falling, half-jumping onto the couch.

She broke out into laughter as I went face first into the cushions.

“You okay?” she asked, brushing the bangs out of my face.
“Yeah,” I said, turning onto my side.
“Then can we play again?”

I sat up on the edge of the couch while she got onto my back once again.

“Seatbelt!” she said.
I hooked my arms underneath her knees and stood up. ”Ready for takeoff, Captain Sammi?”
“Let’s go!”

As we zoomed through the kitchen, the intercom buzzed.

“Looks like your mom‘s back early.”

I walked over to the intercom and had Sammi press the button to unlock the main doors.

“Can we play airplane until she gets here?”

I nodded and leaned forward.

“Three, two, one. Takeoff!”

We did a few more rounds of the apartment before a knock at the door signaled the end of the game. I carefully put her down and she excitedly ran toward the door. I swear, that girl was a pure ball of energy.


Before I could protest, she opened the door, revealing someone I least expected.

I know, I know. A majority of you are disappointed with the lack of a date in this chapter, but I swear it'll get better.

As usual, please rate and review.
And feel free to include your predictions of who is at the door.
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