(#) cupcakegirl 2006-04-02... meep. meep. you exploded-ed my brain. Aieaie.
Hmmm. I like the very sweet gentleness that Auron handles Lu with. I'm not an Auron/Lulu fan. Really.
But this story makes me one. It's beautiful.
(And where is chapter six!!! You deleted it! Weep.)
Author\'s Response: Score! :D Sorry about the flittering chapter; I accidentally uploaded chapter 5 twice and zapped the duplicate.
- Really this is bloody brilliant. I say this at the risk of sounding totally arrogant since I helped you brainstorm for it a bit.
But I adore this:
"Where are the hymns, the praise-songs to my glory, the ceremonies and the feast-days, the shy nuns and scheming Maesters and fornicating priests? All my diversions gone, since I was walled up in this Yevon-forsaken wilderness! No, by all means, enjoy your sick dalliance with death, girl. Do it here. Right now. I'll watch." That, all of that is just, heh, pure genius.
I love the way you indicate that Yojimbo at least saw the Temple he resided in as a glorious sink of sin and a place where flesh was worshipped. The jibe about Lulu's relationship with a dead man is perfect as well.
Also Lulu's sudden fear that the dead men are in collusion is beautifully done. I adore the metaphor about the maggots.
I love Lulu's thought about the sacrificial table - would altar maybe be a better word?
I love the way that Auron is excessively chivalrous and tender in order to confound and irritate the aeon.
I love how you describe Yojimbo's voice as papery. I also like how Auron blazes up with angerat one too many insults.
You carried off such a crazy idea so brilliantly. I am thoroughly enjoying every second.
(#) pyrefly_sky 2006-05-09“Where are the hymns, the praise-songs to my glory, the ceremonies and the feast-days, the shy nuns and scheming Maesters and fornicating priests? All my diversions gone, since I was walled up in this Yevon-forsaken wilderness! No, by all means, enjoy your sick dalliance with death, girl. Do it here. Right now. I'll watch."
I completely agree with fyre_byrd this part is simply amazing, I can’t find the right words to explain how this made me feel but trust me I was very impressed!
Lulus reflection on her own words is a nice touch, I love it when phrases come back to bite characters on the ass!
“The scent of the Farplane is all over you." This works really well in showing that Yojimbo cares nothing of their emotions or any theory of relationship, simply that he is self serving and set to ruin Lulu in one way or another; by making an act so beautiful something so dismissive and crude.
Aurons gestures are great, having him attempt to thwart Yojimbo’s plan while still sticking to the bargain is a wonderfully worked idea. The chivalry is an ideal way to frustrate! He really works for it, it seems to me that he’s finding this a worthy challenge?! I also love how Yojimbo is able to break all of Auron’s hard work with only a few well placed lines! This whole chapter is very realistically written. Auron finally dropping his guard gives Lulu the perfect chance to be the one to reassure and continue which adds to the determination showed between them.
The last line is very foreboding, it should be touching but the way things are leading up in this chapter make me feel that Lulu and Auron can read this as touching but as a reader you feel something sink in your throat, this is made twice as good by Lulu previously in this chapter being bitten by her own words.
I simply adore this chapter!
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