FicWad

Rae's POV



"So. . .I heard. . .that you. . .and. . Brendon are friends. . .now" Lily breathed out, her eyes gleaming with delight and her lips stretching widely as she showed off her pearly whites. I looked down on my lap and just cracked a small smile while nodding my head.

"That's. . .great. . ." She exhaled and I grinned. Brendon was right. Lily was happy. I glanced up at my sister and she was beaming at me. I smiled back and just held her hand, squeezing it lightly. Her eyes were now awfully covered with dark circles and her lips were cracked and chapped, the colour on her face drained with pale white and her skin was cold, her breathing was ragged too like she just ran three miles in a row. She was getting really weak now. I honestly don't know how she can still smile like nothing's wrong with her. She stared back into my eyes and we just spent a few minutes, enjoying the silence around us, just listening to the light sound of machines, surrounding her like a deadly trap. She exhaled heavily and quietly spoke,

"I. . .don't have. . .much time. . .left. .in here. . .but I just want. . .to say. . .thank you" She croaked while breathing heavily. I stared at her, frowning.

"Wow. Way to go to ruin our good conversation about Brendon" I mumbled jokingly and she smiled. I chuckled at my own joke and just shook my head, glancing up on her eyes. She was staring at me like she wanted to say something. I cleared my throat and I looked down, my smile completely fading as I looked at her and spoke in a quiet voice,

"I'm sorry. . ." I muttered and she frowned, her forehead creasing with misperception. I sighed and continue to speak,

"I'm sorry if I'm not the greatest sister in the whole wide world and I'm sorry if I'm letting you down, all the time" I muttered, my voice cracking a little bit. I looked away and held back a few tears.

Goddammit, I am sick of crying.

"Don't. . .apologize to. . .me. . .you are. . .the greatest sister. . .in the whole. . .world. . .and if it's. . .not enough. . . I'll die. . .with a smile. . .on my. . .face. . .because I know. . .my sister. . .loves me. . .and one more. . .thing. . .you and mom. . .are the best. . .thing that's. . .ever happened. . .to me" She breathed out, almost running out of breath. I gripped on her hands and a single tear fell from my eye.

"Just stay strong, okay" I choked out and she nodded.

"I. . .am. . .strong. . .I just can't. . .believe that. . .my time is. . .finally over" She stated while staring at the white ceiling above her. I wiped my tears and just continue to cry.

"I can't. . .believe. . .I will miss. . .so many. . .things in this. . . world" She whispered, her voice almost fading as if she got tired of speaking. I looked at her and she was closing her eyes.

"Stop it. Don't fucking close your eyes. Don't ever shut it!" I exclaimed, my tears running dry on my cheeks. She immediately opened her eyes, staring at me wearily. She attempted to smile but it never reached her eyes, she seemed so tired and weak.

"Relax. . . I am. . .still. . .alive. ." She whispered and she looked at me with weary eyes. She watched me as I cried in front of her.

"Please, don't fucking close your eyes. Not now. . Not yet. . ." I pleaded and she slowly nodded.

"You. . .still. . .swear. . .a lot. . ."

I ignored her and just rested my head on the soft white sheets. I can hear her ragged breathing and I just listened to it, afraid that I might missed out something big in every ticking second of her life. I brought my gaze up and just looked at her, she stared back. After what seemed like eternity, she finally spoke, breaking out the terrible silence around us.

"Sing me. . .one more. . song" She breathed out and I inhaled deeply, wiping my eyes softly. My vision was slightly blurred and I kept my breathing steady. I finally stared at her and smiled weakly before opening my mouth to sing,

"Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark"

My voice was slightly shaking as I sang with so much grief in my heart, she just looked at me and frowned. She suddenly spoke, instantly cutting me off.

"Just stop. . . If you. . .don't want. . .to sing. . ." She stated, almost out of breath. I sighed and stopped for a moment. She looked away and just stared at the sky from her window, her eyes filling in with tears. I slowly released her hand from mine and just looked down on my lap.

"If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the no's on their vacancy signs. . ."

She snapped her head toward me and she just stared as my lips move softly, letting the melody flowed out of my mouth. She was suddenly amused and somewhat content.

"If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark" I whispered the last part and she smiled. I exhaled heavily and waited for her response.

"You. . .have a. . .real talent. . .I wish. . .I was you. . ." She smiled wearily at me and I sluggishly shrugged my shoulders, forcing my lips to smile but failed miserably.

"Rae. . . " She called out in a hush tone and I tilted my head up. Her eyes stared back at me with glee and she held my hand softly. I squeezed her cold hand and just inhaled deeply. It took her a few minutes to open her mouth and speak, her voice came out a little dry.

"When I die. . . . I want you. . .to be. . .happy" She whispered, her lips curling up into a small smile. I closed my eyes and just held my breath. She sighed and spoke again,

"Just. . .don't. . .cry"









Have you ever felt like the world is crushing you down and it's putting all of its weight down on you so you can crash with your own feet and just fell down on your knees because you have no choice but to give up and just die? I do.



And it's painful.



I never thought it would be much painful to accept the truth. I wish I had more time to think about all of this. I wish I had a time machine to go back in time and just fix everything. I wish I had more time to spend some quality time with my sister. I wish she was still here.

I let a few tears fall from my eyes as I walk down the street, dragging my body down the sidewalk and not really caring if there are people around me or not. In fact, I don't care if I was going the right way or walking down the wrong path. I wanted to get out of there. I wanted to run. I just wanted to go away.

I don't exactly know if this is the right direction to our house. I don't really know if I'm doing the right thing and I honestly don't know if I'm still sane enough to walk down on this almost empty street. I just don't know what to do with myself. So now, I am here, bawling my eyes out and just releasing all the rage inside me by walking furiously and just running away with all my problems.

I crossed my arms to my chest as I cried harder, my feet furiously touching the ground. I bit my lip and just looked down on the pavement.

"Rae!" I heard someone screamed behind me. I didn't dare to look who it was. I just continued to walk and let my feet dragged me everywhere. Who would give a fuck with me, anyway? I don't think there's one person here on the street that knows what I'm going through, right now.

"Rae! Stop!" I heard a loud footsteps behind me and then I rapidly increased my steps, trying to runaway. I just wanted to get out of this town.

"Rae! Please. . .just stop. . ." A shrill voice boomed after me and then the next thing I knew, someone was grabbing me on the shoulders and turning my body around. I came in contact with Brendon and he was staring at me incredulously, a hint of fear in his eyes.

"What's wrong with you?!" He hissed while gripping on me, really hard. I winced and tried to break free from his grasp.

"I am running away!" I screamed as tears fell from my eyes. He narrowed his eyes at me and just gripped on my shoulders, tightly.

"Why?" He whispered harshly while glaring at me. I fell silent and just looked away, biting my lip and trying my hardest not to breakdown like an insane girl. I felt his hands slowly dropping down on my shoulders and he waited for an answer. I wiped my tears and whimpered a little bit.

"Why?" He asked again and I brought my gaze up, meeting his eyes, full of fright and concerned.

"I--. . .it's. . .it's. . Lily" I stumbled at my words and just exhaled heavily. He stared at me with uncertainty and ushered me to go on.

"She's gone" I finally blurted out and I watched as his face went pale. He froze from his spot and just quietly stood there, trying to contemplate what I've just said to him. I cried harder and just looked away, avoiding his eyes.

"She's gone" I whispered again and then I suddenly felt a strong pair of arms, wrapping around my body. I looked up to see Brendon, glancing at me with worried expression.

"I'm sorry. . . ." He mumbled and tightened his gripped on me. I sobbed on his chest hysterically, my knees almost giving in.

"I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry" He whispered while rocking me back and forth. I buried my face on his chest and just cried harder, allowing the warmth of his body wrapped around mine. I just stood in his arms, crying and sobbing. On the other hand, Brendon was quiet, holding me tightly and just listening to me.

"Hey, you'll be okay. Everything will be alright" He muttered as I choke out tears. I nodded absentmindedly and just held onto him for my dear life.

"It's okay. . ." He whispered and stroked my hair softly, trying to calm me down.

I felt relief washed over me as Brendon held me tightly. I was glad to know that there's actually one person that truly cares about me. I closed my eyes and just hoped that everything will be just fine.

"Come on, I'll walk you home" He stated quietly. I didn't say any word. I just nodded and followed him as he took my hand.


We walked in silence, not bothering to talk to each other. His hands were intertwined with mine and I can feel my stomach churning madly inside me. I ignored the feeling and just looked down, pretending to be okay. I can feel him, looking at me every now and then. So, I stared up at him and caught him glancing down at me. He shot me a small smile, making my insides turn again. I just smiled back, not really knowing what to do. He squeezed my hand, he's probably just trying to tell me that everything's going to be alright.

We walked down a few more blocks before we made it to my house. I exhaled heavily, realizing that there are now only two people living in that place. I can feel myself welling up with tears again and I fought back the urge to cry, losing your sister wasn't really the best feeling in the whole wide world. It'll take quite some time to move on.

"I guess, this is our stop. . ." Brendon mumbled awkwardly while slipping his hands away from mine. I glanced up at him and smiled weakly.

"Thank you for walking me home"

"Nah, it's nothing. Just stay sane okay?" He chuckled while giving me a cheeky grin. I couldn't help but smile back.

"I'll keep that in mind" I mumbled and started to trudge my way inside our house. I crossed my arms to my chest, hugging myself tightly as the wind gushed to my body, making me shiver.

"Hey, Rae!" I heard Brendon shout behind me. I instantly looked back to see him still standing there, I stopped on my tracks and waited for him to say something. His face was dead serious, staring at me with compassion. He sighed heavily and began to spoke in a soft voice,



"You know, I'm always here for you"





A/N: I know it's very short :(
please, forgive me.
I'm having a tough time here. Since, I live in the other side of universe.
Our school here starts on Monday which means our summer here is over
and that really sucks >:(

ANYWAY, thank you guys for reviewing and reading my story.
I love you all!(not in a creepy way, though. . .in case you guys are wondering)
xDD Ok, I shall end my note here.