Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
Freedom
10 reviewsHarry, thrown out like trash, badly damaged. He is rescued. The magical world awaits. Corrupt, incompetent adults. Youth is the future. We'll take it before its too late. We are Submagiks. We shall...
1Cliche
Reviews
Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) liger 2009-06-02
Awesome start, and I can't wait for the next chapter.Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) konvict 2009-06-02
An intriguing start, can't wait for more. I'm interested in seeing where you go with this, as i haven't seen something like this before.Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) jabarber69 2009-06-02
good story, although I've seen this done pretty much just like this before, but still yours is different so I am definitely looking forward to reading more of this!Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) iamleath 2009-06-02
Good story I'm impressed as I've yet to find any similar stories.
Keep it up and update often pleaseEmerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) anakhuskerfan 2009-06-02
Great start, very original and well written. I can't wait for the next chapter, update soon!!Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) juggler196 2009-06-03
I like it. Normally i'm not a fan of harry/ginny stories, but this one is definitely different. I like how you're putting the two of them in the same year, and am curious to see the two of them grow up together. Can't wait for the next chapter, so please update soon!:-)Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) Aelfwine 2009-06-03
The concept here is very interesting, and the pace isn't bad, but you need to get a beta--I'd volunteer, but I barely have time to write, let alone edit anyone else's writing. You've got some random capitalisation going on here, and you keep breaking tense, as in this:
"It has been a month since Harry’s birthday and Harry and Slyther were now staying together in a small cave in the same woods that they found each other."
"It had been a month, and Harry and Slyther were staying together in a small cave in the wood where they found each other." would be a better way to write this sentence. You've started writing your story in past tense, and you really have to stick to that.
Do continue, please--the idea of Harry and Ginny meeting earlier has been done before, but your particular twist is original and could be very interesting. I don't believe I've seen a story before with Harry waiting a year to be with Ginny, rather than her starting school early to be with him.Author's response
Yeah I know I could use a beta, but I've had a few already who've let me down so I gave up. Thanks.Emerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) fatman9000 2009-06-03
great start plz update soon cant wait for new chapEmerald: Eyes to the Soul
(#) tricorvus 2010-12-05
Damn good story, well-written. But: Pomfrey is spelled like this, and Gringott's like this. Please pay attention to what you're writing, and if in doubt as to a spelling, look it up in the 7 books. No offense intended. Constructive criticism only.
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