FicWad

Author's Note: Sorry about the slow update. I got a bit caught up in all the hubub of getting ready for college.

THANK YOUS
lovehillaryx3 : Aww, thank you! I love new readers!

tonytay113: Trace Cyrus would need to gain at least 20 pounds before I counsider him human.

To answer your question, yes, I have a best friend. His name is "Chris":http://somesaint.tumblr.com/post/94671662 and I love him to death. We listen to pretty much the same music, and we've been to 15 or so concerts together over the course of our 4-year friendship. He doesn't read my fanfics though.

somethingorother: The weird hair, skinniness, and overdose of tattoos is an absolute turn off. Oli Sykes, on the otherhand, knows how to do it right.

F-A-S-D: If you're feeling conflicted about the whole Alex/Chloe/Paul situation, I'm doing my job.

To answer your question, no, I have never been to Maryland.

lyrical_lies: Sweet! I'm glad you aced your final. I find video game therapy very effective. God of War, ftw!

tryingtohard_x: Chloe will be happy again. Don't worry.

This summer I plan on getting a tan, going to some shows, and possibly getting a job.

doyleangel: Sorry to burst your bubble, but Martin and Chloe's relationship is purely platonic. Although he's a cutie, he thinks of Chloe as a little sister.

ash360: Paul wil play a big part in all of this, but for now, I'm keeping my lips zipped.

Tissamy: Chloe will be making her decision shortly.


STORYYY.

After Martin left, Jack grabbed a pillow off the bed and headed over to the couch.

“You can keep the bed,” I said.

“What? No. I may be a douche most of the time, but I’m not letting you crash on the pullout,” he insisted.

“Seriously, it’s fine…”

I looked down at my feet and sighed, thinking about what had happened on that bed the night before.

“Alex and that girl-- I don’t even wanna be in the same hotel as that mattress.”

Jack’s face fell as he glanced at the bed, then back at me.

“Now that you mention it, I’d rather sleep on the floor…”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We can share the couch,” I said, grabbing a pillow and turning out the lights.

“Alright.”

After setting up the pullout, we crawled onto opposite sides of the lumpy mattress and set our pillows down.

“Good night.”

“Night.”

Once I put my head down, I knew that I wouldn’t be getting any sleep. There were too many thoughts still running through my mind.

Why did Alex cheat on me? Did he want someone better? Did he deserve better? Do I deserve better? What’s wrong with me? He broke my heart. I should hate him. But I don’t. But I can’t stand to look at him. Yet I can’t stand to leave. I’m in love with that idiot. Asshole. Bastard. Cuntface. Douchebag. Why do I still care about that douchebag? Does that douchebag still care about me? Is Alex really a douchebag or am I just a huge bitch? Maybe I’m just huge. Maybe I should lose some weight. Yeah, I should lose some weight. Work out more. Work. I need to get a new job. Rent’s going up. Waitressing can only take me so far. But if I quit I might not be able to find a new job. And I’d be out of a job and an apartment. Thank God I got that full-ride scholarship. At least I don’t have to worry about tuition. But what use is a degree nowadays? The economy is shit. Even if I graduated, I could end up working retail. “I don’t want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don’t want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought or processed, or repair anything sold brought or processed.” If only guys were more like Lloyd Dobbler and less like Alex. Alex. I hate him. I love him. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to think. Or do. Or say. Or feel.

As I stared out the hotel window, it seemed that my mind was racing faster than the traffic on the streets below. Tiny red light after tiny red light. They all belonged to cars. And those cars belonged to people. People who were all going somewhere. A home. A job. A concert. A party. An afterparty.

But there I was, going nowhere fast.

“Chloe?” Jack asked. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I just can’t sleep.”

“But you’re crying.”

I lifted my hand to my cheek and realized that he was right.

“Sorry for keeping you awake,” I said, wiping my cheeks.
“Chloe…”

I didn’t want him to see me like that, so I kept my gaze on the cars moving outside.

He let out a sigh.

“I don’t care that he’s my best friend, or that we’re on tour and he’s the lead singer. Just say the word and I’ll break his fucking neck.”

“Thanks,” I weakly replied, still avoiding eye contact.

Although neither of us was talking, I could hear my thoughts filling and spilling between us.

“You know what? DO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT! If you want to set yourselves up for disaster, be my guest. But don’t expect me to help clean up the mess.”

I should have known better.
I should have listened to Jack.
I should have went with my instincts.

Alex is the same person he’s always been: a charming alcoholic who never gave a fuck about me. All he wants is to get drunk and get laid.

I should have seen this coming.

After all, he was the king of groupies. It was only a matter of time before he’d get bored with me and reclaim his crown. Seasons change. People don’t.

All I wanted to do was turn my brain off. Sleep wasn’t an option, so I got up and headed to the minibar for some chemical comfort.

“Hey, could you grab me something, too?” Jack asked, sitting up.

“Sure.”

After turning on the lights, I grabbed the bottle of jager that Alex had tossed in there the day before, along with the Chivas Regal that I had brought.

Sadly, the tolerance I had built up prevented me from feeling anything more than a slight buzz, even after finishing half the bottle of whiskey.

“Do you honestly think I should stay on tour?” I asked, pouring myself another shot.

“I don’t know,” he replied, rolling his cup back and forth between his hands. “But I want you to stay.”

“Aren’t you tired of having me around?”

“No,” he replied, shaking his head. “When I’m on tour, we never get to talk.”

“You call every week.”

“It’s not the same.”

I gave him a half-hearted smile and sighed before downing the amber liquid in my glass.

He was my brother, but that wasn’t enough to convince me to stay on tour. While he’d be happier, I’d be going through hell every day of the tour. Sure, I’d be on another bus, but bumping into Alex would be inevitable. All Time Low was the tour’s fucking headliner after all. And when I didn’t see him, I’d most likely hear his voice, either ringing in my head or ringing throughout a venue. It was a lose/lose situation.

Then again, there was Martin’s reasoning. If I left, Jack would probably rip Alex apart, literally and figuratively. But even if I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to watch him 24/7. I could probably talk some sense into him when things got out of hand, but words can only go so far when dealing with an overprotective older brother. With Hunter, Jess, Drew, Travis, Danny, Paul, Martin, John, Bryan, Zack, and Rian running damage control, they probably wouldn’t need me that much anyways.

“Aside from you missing me, give me one good reason that I should stay.”

He finished his drink and looked up at me.

“Paul.”

+++++
What does Jack mean?
It will be revealed in the next chapter.

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I don't mean to be a whiny emo kid, but I'm pretty disappointed that only 14 of the 43 chapters I've posted for this have ratings. So far, Lasting Impressions is 50,000+ words, and writing them hasn't been very easy. In fact, there have been days where I sit in front of my laptop for 3 or so hours, trying to come up with something to write. So please leave some feedback. I'm not kidding when I say that your encouragement means a lot to me.


Q&A #7: What do you guys think of "Damned If I Do Ya (Damned If I Don't)"?

I really like it, but I have a feeling that Put Up or Shut Up will still be my favorite ATL record after Nothing Personal comes out.