FicWad

This story started with the song Billy Jean. I had no plot, except for I knew it would be a Gabe centered love story, but that’s it. The song Billy Jean really did fuel everything that would come with this story. It became a motif, a metaphor and even a nickname and an insult. I was half-way done with this chapter when I learned that one of my biggest idols in the world died. I couldn’t think of anything except for this story and where it came from. Now I understand it’s only fan-fiction, but I took writing this chapter seriously. You can almost tell where I pick up from learning the news. This plot twist was always planed; it just hurts more to write. In true writing form, I wish to dedicate this chapter, and hell, this entire story to not only the lyrical genius that was Michael Jackson, but to whomever Billy Jean may be. Without them, this story would cease to exist.

**

I knew I was dreaming the moment I saw Aurélie standing in front of me, albeit a few feet away and leaning against the wall. There wasn’t much I could about it, and no matter how much I told my body to get up and walk over, I was stuck sitting on backstage equipment, my mouth slightly agape in mild shock. Confusing, yes; stupid of me… yes, again. And then I heard Abigail.

“Percussion,” she whispered. I turned my head slowly to see her leaning over my shoulder, a bright smile on her face. “Strings,” she blinked. “Winds,” another glance at me. “Words,”

It was strange, that I could hear the music as well, as Abigail sat next to me, and pointed to Aurélie who was slowly swaying, keeping her solemn look.

“There you see her, sitting there across the way,” I observed as Aurélie glanced up nervously, her eyes twinkling. “She don’t gotta lot to say, but there’s something about her,”

There certainly was. Abigail leaned her head against my arm softly and half-way closed her eyes in a dreamlike state.

“And you don’t know why, but you’re dying to try, you wanna to kiss the girl,” I looked from Abigail to Aurélie and nodded once to myself, letting my tongue sweep across my lip, craving it.

“Yes, you want her,” I nodded. “Look at her, you know you do,” I nodded again. “Possible she want you too, there is one way to ask her,”

I looked at Abigail and she fluttered her eyelashes.

“It don’t take a word, not a single word,” she shrugged as she stood. “Go on and, kiss the girl,”

I raised an eyebrow and flinched lightly when I saw Vicky, Alex, Nate and Ryland in my peripherals, all surrounding my head and shoulders, bright smiles on their faces. Abigail smiled slyly at them.

“Sing with me now,” and in unison, they did. “Sha la la la la la la,” I widened my eyes and looked to the four of them behind me as they raised their hands as they swayed, cheesily. “My oh my, look like the boy too shy, ain’t gonna kiss the girl!”

“Sha la la la la la la,” Vicky, Nate, Alex and Ryland moved next to me, Vicky landing in my lap with an even cheekier grin.

“Ain’t that sad, ain’t it a shame, too bad, you’re gonna miss the girl,”

I tried to stand up and found that I could as the five moved together towards Aurélie to circle around her, pushing her towards me a little. I sighed, feeling my heart getting warmer by the moment. She looked up, only for a moment before shyly turning away. I hesitated to smile as Abigail stepped towards me again.

“Now’s your moment,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah…” I raised an eyebrow as Patrick popped up from behind Aurélie, singing loudly.

“Floating in a blue lagoon,”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Patrick.

“Boy you better do it soon, no time would be better,” Abigail pushed me a little more.

“Yeah,” Patrick.

“Yeah,” Vicky.

“Yeah,” Ryland.

“Yeah,” Nate.

“Yeah,” Alex.

“Yeah,” Abigail.

“She don’t say a word, and she won’t say a word until ya, kiss the girl,”

The six started dancing around Aurélie excitedly, all whooping as they continued more ‘yeahs’ and ‘sha la la la la la la’s. I tried to get a glimpse of Aurélie through it but was faced with Abigail singing again.

“Don’t be scared, you got the mood prepared, go on and kiss the girl,”

Ryland looked at me and smiled. “Woah, woah,”

“Don’t stop now, don’t try to hide it how, you wanna kiss the girl,”

“Woah, woah,”

They started to part a little from Aurélie.

“Float along, and listen to the song, the song say, kiss the girl,”

All of them parted even more through more excited banter.

“Music play, do what the music say, you wanna kiss the girl,”

I stepped towards Aurélie again and she finally looked up and let me embrace her softly, while the other surrounded us, still smiling wide and yelping in joy.

“Kiss the girl,”

I lowered my head to hers, watching as her eyes slowly closed and allowed mine to do as well.

“Kiss the girl,”

Things became numb then, and when I tried to open my eyes, all I could see was darkness, but could still hear the faint sounds of music fading away.

“Kiss the girl,”

*

My eyes snapped open, my heart racing and my breath rapid. Looking down, I found my hands tight in the sheets, and no matter how much I tried to relax, I still felt the sweat along my hair line and couldn’t help but feel the warmth that still enveloped my heart. It was as if Aurélie was just there, and in a way, she was.

I looked at the clock on the nightstand next to the bed and fell back, irritated I had only been asleep for a mere two hours. I had decided on sleep at 3am, and needed to be ready to go at 7am if I wanted to hang with Pete and the guys before they went on press tours for the new album. I was still too exhausted from tour and throat surgery and knew that this visit was not going to make me feel better. After all, I had run into Abigail the night before, and considering she belongs in LA, I knew something was up.

Instead of trying to wrap my head around it any longer, I sat up again and turned on the lamp, grabbing my laptop from the nightstand and booting it up. My eyes drooped, but I forced them open and sighed at the picture I had kept up on my desktop since Aurélie left last month. I didn’t want to dwell on it, but couldn’t bring myself to get rid of it. Bringing up a new window, I decided to be somewhat foolish and check the gossip on Twitter, only to find one update from one person since I checked it before I fell asleep. Aurélie.

aureliejean: still awake

I hesitated to click the reply button, but did so anyways, and right in the middle of typing up a response, my phone buzzed, and I tore myself away to see it lighting up and flashing Abigail’s name. I glared for a moment before pressing it to my ear.

“What are you doing in Chicago?” I asked right away. I heard a short and heavily laced sarcastic laugh.

“Fuck you too,” she mumbled. “It’s my birthday,”

“You don’t need to be such a bitch to me anymore, Abi,” I muttered. She sighed.

“Gabe, I’m not being a bitch, you’re just being an ignorant dick,” I widened my eyes as she bluntly spoke. “Shut up now? Good. I’m in Chicago because Pete invited me to meet up here for a small reunion slash birthday party for me and to talk about tour plans for you two, plus me, Aurélie and-”

“Aurélie?!”

“Yeah, didn’t Pete tell you she was going to be there tomorrow?” she asked, lowering her voice. I stayed silent. “Well, surprise,”

“Great,” I mumbled. “I can’t deal with this…” I trailed off and Abigail let a long sigh go, sounding almost annoyed.

“You know, Gabe,” she paused.

“What?” I asked meekly.

“I don’t know why Gabe, but sometimes, I just want to punch you in the baby,” she laughed shortly. “Just don’t start anything and nothing drastic will happen, I won’t start anything either, considering…”

“Considering what?” I asked. Abigail chuckled again.

“We’ll save that for another conversation,”

*

Pete had been mingling more than I had the entire time we were at Angles and Kings later that night after an entire day of hanging around Chicago. And the only person, who seemed to be noticing my distant behavior, was ironically, Aurélie. She was being rather quiet as well, but could probably tell you more about what Pete was ranting about than I could. Everybody was here, and just figuring out what hypothetical ‘side’ they were on was one giant mindfuck. My band was pretty much back to normal. Ryland still gave me a look when I eyed other women, him always expecting me to make things right. Vicky never seemed to let it get past her and still held the small glimmer of shamelessness for me in her eye. Dirty and Patrick both eyed me when Pete and I came to our VIP area but after a knowing glance from Aurélie, they pulled back. Everybody else seemed to not care, or didn’t know what was going on. Those included were Elizabeth, Andy, Joe and Marie but that’s pretty much it.

The minute Aurélie stood up; I looked up and let a stupid anxious grin come to my face before wiping it off as she looked beyond me. Turning, I saw Abigail walking up the steps to the VIP and then sighed, opting to stand up as well, seeing that everybody else was too. They all gathered her up in hugs and she smacked my arm a little before giving us all a heart attack by embracing Andy. Pretty much everybody widened their eyes, and by the look on Aurélie’s face, even she didn’t know what was going on. The two kissed and Joe let his jaw fall open.

“Holy shit, when the…”

Abigail laughed as the two sat down, and the rest followed.

“Sorry that we don’t broadcast our relationship on the internet,” she joked. I bit my tongue and drew back my lips in an awkward and uncomfortable smile before shifting my eyes to Aurélie who seemed a little hurt by her comment. Nonetheless, the group seemed to accept what was happening and walked right back into their conversations, laughing and enjoying the time. I winced as photogs would snap the occasional picture, but decided that it really didn’t matter much. Alex stood up not a moment later and pulled something from his jacket.

“Guess what I brought?!” he yelped, excitedly. Abigail rolled her eyes.

“The antidote?” Alex’s face fell momentarily and Nate leaned forward.

“What antidote?”

All of us, including me for a moment all laughed at him before Alex waved and started for the DJ booth.

“No, man, it’s the new ‘I Don’t Care’ remix,” he explained. Pete seemed to jump up and follow him before the rest copied, all trailing down the stairs to the main area. While some drifted to the bar instead of the dance floor, I stayed where I was and observed the way Aurélie hesitated at the stop of the staircase. She poised her lips open, almost as if she was going to say something, before she lowered her eyes and turned, slowly making her way down the steps to the dance floor. I slumped back in my seat, letting my heavy eyes look at the empty seats around me. I was alone again.

The rest of us can find happiness in misery…

*

The minute I reached the dance floor, I tried to find anybody from our group of friends but found myself slightly stranded. I guess that’s my fault for stalling, thinking I could get a good word in with Gabe. In my mind though, I figured that it still wasn’t time. He didn’t seem too pleased by my presence anyways. I took only one step in the direction towards the bar before a hand wrapped around my wrist and I felt my heart skip a beat, half expecting it to be Gabe. When I turned, I found a semi-panicked Pete and widened my eyes.

“What?” I asked, as loudly as I could over the music. Pete clenched his teeth before bringing his hand up to his face and scrubbing at his eye.

“I’ve got to go,” he then smiled widely. “I don’t have time to say goodbye to everybody, but give Abigail this, kay?”

I looked down at the envelope and nodded, smiling before moving my hand so I was semi holding his.

“Can I guess?” I questioned again, somewhat cheekily. Pete laughed.

“I’m gonna be a dad, Jeanie!” I giggled at the lost nickname. “I’ve got to get back to LA so I don’t miss it!”

I nodded and watched as he turned around and I couldn’t help but feel slightly warm inside at the thought of another baby that I semi-knew; Emily being the other. I sighed and turned towards the bar only to pause.

“Élie, Jeanie,” I turned to see Patrick shrugging to himself, looking a bit bewildered. “I don’t even know anymore. You still going by Billy Jean?” he tried. I skewed my mouth to one side.

“Not personally, but Ryland still calls me it every once and a while,” I explained. Patrick nodded.

“I’m sorry bout’ you and-”

“Don’t,” I cut him off and he nodded once. “I don’t have the mental stamina to think about that right now,”

“Yeah, I know, Andy and Abigail, huh?” he brought up. I laughed shortly.

“I’m her best friend and I didn’t even know,” I paused as Patrick somewhat frowned. “What?” I mumbled. He shook his head.

“I don’t want to sound pathetic but that leaves me the only Fall Out Bachelor,” he joked. I titled my head to the side.

“That’s not a bad thing, Patrick,” I encouraged. He shrugged.

“Still feel weird in the group of babies, wives, fiancés and couples,” he raised an eyebrow. “It’s a little crazy,”

Patrick tilted back on his heels and I eyed him suspiciously.

“Patrick, are you trying to pick me up?” I called him out and found an instant deer-in-headlights look from him. He clenched his teeth before glancing down and sighing.

“Well at least I know how dense I am now,” he mumbled. I grinned a little and nudged him.

“It’s ok, Patrick,” he glanced up and I frowned a little. “I’m just not looking for another relationship right now,” I whispered, though I could still hear me. Patrick shot his eyebrows up.

“Neither am I,” he simply spoke. Immediately, my mind clicked and I fully understood what he was implying. I shifted my eyes to the dance floor and then up to the VIP area before suddenly remembering this was the exact spot where my mind was last March when Gabe and I started our strange and nearly there relationship. Patrick hesitated to step closer and I looked at him.

“Unconditional?” I wondered to him. He nodded, taking the same glances to the floor and the loft.

“No strings attached,” he assured. I allowed my heart to skip in anticipation and licked my lips nervously before nodding.

“Let’s go,” I pushed. He turned and started for the exit, and I made sure none of our friends were watching before following.

*

It was all too familiar. The sunlight from my hotel room window woke me up to find myself alone in my bed, the sheets loosely thrown over my waist. I felt the breeze on my back and sighed, knowing that no matter how bad it looked, it was good that Patrick didn’t stay. I stayed face down in my pillow for a moment, before I heard a knock at the door and I flinched.

“Give me a minute!” I yelled before standing up wrapping the sheet around me and walking to the door.

“I was hoping not to see you like this,”

I let my mouth fall agape at the sight of Gabe, his eyes looking beyond me while I tried to move the sheets even more around me. I was an idiot for not checking the peep-hole first.

“What do you want?” I asked as politely as I could. Gabe shrugged and I eyed a few hotel patrons looking at us weird before letting him come in. I turned to him to find him staring at the mess of my clothes on the floor and sighed to myself.

“I kind of was hoping I didn’t really see you leave with Patrick last night, but I guess I was right,” he paused to look at me. “Is this what you do, Aurélie?” he asked. I raised an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about?” I spoke softly. Gabe fully turned to me and spread his arms, angrily.

“Do you just go around sleeping with guys from bands? Or is lead singers your fancy?”

“Excuse me?” I snapped, holding the sheet with one hand before whipping my arm at him and pointing in his face. “Don’t even start with this,” I felt my eyes sting and Gabe literally laughed at it.

“I can do whatever I want, Aurélie,” he took a step closer to me and I flinched back. “If you would have just said something last night to me, maybe you wouldn’t have had to wake up alone,” he muttered. I widened my eyes and shook my head.

“You think I’d fall that easily back into your arms?” I questioned. Gabe threw his arms up again, sarcastically chuckling.

“Well you seemed to fall easily back into Patrick’s!” he argued. I knitted my eyebrows together before moving forward and smacking my hand across Gabe’s face. He caught my hand in his other and we locked eyes, fearfully shifting them across each other’s to see who would make the first move. He let go as my door rattled again and I let my eyes fall to the ground at the sound of Abigail.

“My attention span doesn’t have all- ooh, what was that?”

Gabe shook his head at me one last time before walking towards the door and whipping it open, and after a few hushed words between the two, the door closed and Abigail cleared her throat.

“Do I even want to ask, and if I did, would I want to know?” she mumbled, landing on my bed. I shook my head but sighed anyways as I walked to my suitcase.

“Long story short, Patrick and I had sex,” I explained, grabbing some clothes and walking to the bathroom part of my room. Abigail laughed.

“I kind of expected something crazy like that,” she cleared her throat. “It was a one time thing, right?”

I leaned around the corner to see her looking concerned again. I nodded before dressing myself and walking back out with the sheets.

“Yes, but that didn’t stop Gabe from blowing it out of proportion,” I mumbled, throwing the sheet on the bed behind Abigail. She waved her hand.

“You won’t care about it within the next few minutes,” she spoke. I raised an eyebrow and leaned on one hip in front of her.

“Why?” I pried. She coyly smiled.

“Knock, knock,” she started. I rolled my eyes at her methods.

“I’ll bite,” I looked at her. “Who’s there?”

“A fetus,”

I widened my eyes.

“A fetus?!” I mildly shrieked, moving a little closer to Abigail. She smirked at me.

“Yeah, and in about nine months, I’m gonna punch through my mom’s vagina,”

My mouth fell open and when what she was saying hit me, I squealed and grabbed her arms to pull her up and hug her tight.

“You’re pregnant!” I yelled. Abigail broke away and shrugged, pointing to her stomach area.

“Andy’s just got super sperm, I’ve been on the pill,” I winced.

“TMI, Abi,” she giggled before tilting her head to the side and calming down a bit.

“You coming to the surprise show tonight at Angel’s and Kings?” she asked. I sighed before nodding.

“I might be setting myself up for disappointment, but yeah,” I agreed. Abigail offered a small smile before excusing herself and exiting my room. I fell on my bed and looked into the mirror that hung at the small desk across from the bed and sighed. Nothing would ever be the same.

*

The anger was still racing through my veins when we took the stage that night. Ryland looked hesitantly at me as he greeted the crowd at Angels and Kings before starting off our set. I sang like it was any other gig, and avoided looking towards the area where our friends were sitting. We played through the usual songs until we got to the end, when I looked at Ryland and after him slightly frowning, I looked to Alex and he shrugged before I placed the microphone back on the stand and stood there, pushing my sunglasses back down over my face.

“This is for Billy Jean,” I announced. The crowd somewhat cheered, but when I glanced over at my friends, I found hesitant claps, Aurélie’s expression already one of hurt and shock. The music picked up and I held onto the microphone stand for support.

“You’ll never make me stay, so take your weight off of me,” I glanced over at Aurélie and even though she couldn’t see my eyes, I held the eye lock. “I know your every move, so won't you just let me be. I've been here times before, but I was too blind to see, that you seduce every man, this time you won't seduce me,”

Aurélie scrunched up her face and I smirked a little, moving my head to see the fans a little confused. Vicky had completely stopped playing and was now just standing at the end of the stage, just looking at me, shocked.

“She's saying that's ok, hey baby do what you please, I have the stuff the you want, I am the thing that you need. She looked me deep in the eyes, she's touchin' me so to start, she says there's no turnin' back. She trapped me in her heart,”

By the time I was finished, the entire band stopped and even the fans had blanked out all just watching as I made the biggest ass of my self as I could on stage. Aurélie stood up and turned to exit the VIP area, Dirty and Abigail both stand up to follow her. I laughed again and pushed back my sunglasses so everybody could see where I was looking.

“Billy Jean is not my lover,” I sang. “She’s just a girl who claimed that I was the one,” I made sure Aurélie looked back at me. “But the kid won’t be my son, because I’m not the one,” I pushed over the microphone stand and stood there, not even sure if what just happened really did.

People always told me, be careful what you do

Don’t go around breaking young girl’s hearts.

And mother always told me, be careful of who you love,

Be careful what you do

Because the lie becomes the truth