Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > I Only Think of You Always
I Only Think of You Always
1 reviewA 18 year old girl named Kensington is best friendswith the men from Panic at the Disco, when slowly but surely, Ryan falls in love with her. The only problem is...so does Brendon.
0Unrated
As I was shoving a Twizzler carefully up Brendon’s nose, I heard Spencer and Ryan’s hushed conversation.
“Ryan, did Spencer just say what I think he said.” I said ceasing the Twizzler-up-the-nose shoving.
Dropping the F-bomb, he gave me a guilty look.
“Oh my god, dude! Dude—I mean—why—how—Ryan!” I said exasperated.
“You act like I did a federal crime or something Ken!” Ryan said to me. We were riding in the Panic van and Spencer had just informed me about Ryan’s little mishap with my iPod.
“You lost my iPod,” I had said, “You lost Barney,” I said glaring at him for several more moments. Jon had finally given into himself and started to laugh.
“Ryan, you are right, but…it’s Ken’s iPod…you know how she is about her iPod…especially when it was from her lover.” He emphasized on the lover part. I flicked one of the Twizzler’s up Brendon’s nose at him.
That purple iPod that was with me through thick and thin! It was special…it was from a guy…I don’t know who it was from specifically, all I know is that on my birthday, on my house’s doorstep, was a crappy wrapped box containing a purple iPod in it. It had a note attached with sloppy handwriting. ‘You need this more than I do.’ It read. I stowed that note away.
“Maybe if we look hard enough…” Ryan said.
“No, there’s no point….” I said sullenly.
“What happened?” Brendon had said. I was surprised he was that asleep. He’s usually awake. One of those Ritalin kids you know?
“Nothing...except, you got some bears in the cave.” I said.
He was confused.
________________________
“Listen, I’ll buy you a new iPod, okay? Please, look I’m so, so sorry!” Ryan said walking with me to my house.
“Dude, its fine. That’s what a CD player is for!” I said chuckling quietly.
He gave me an apologetic smile. “Hey, I don’t feel like walking home, can I crash with you?” Ryan asked.
“Sure thing George-e-boy.” I said.
________________________
Some days, I couldn’t help but stare at Ryan. His ears were pierced; his hair was choppy and brown. But something about this tall kid made me wonder.
When I first met him, I called him George, but he insisted upon Ryan. So Ryan it was, and we were friends ‘til the end. Joined at the hip was a common phrase our teachers defined us with. Spencer had soon made friends with me after that since he and Ryan were also buds. The only annoying thing about being with him so often was that people, even the teachers, asked when one of us was going to ask out the other. We both grew up and met new people in our high school, including Jon. Jon then introduced Brendon into the group. That’s when he, Jon, Brendon and Spencer made a band with a silly name. That was it! He’d be the famous musician I suspected he always wanted to be. I remember the day I told him that once he does get famous, to never change himself.
Ryan gave me a hug and said I was going to get tugged along for the ride so he had nothing to worry about.
That’s the day I declared Ryan Ross my only family. Well…the closest thing possible.
My mother and father were workaholics so I never saw them much. It didn’t really scar me though cause honestly, it taught me responsibility, respect, and that my parents were complete A-Holes.
I was a single child and that only made me want to live a completely different life from that of my biological parents. I wanted siblings…even worse, I wanted a kid.
A child of my own.
I wanted to forget about my own issues for just once and just get lost with a child. But I’d never be that stupid. I don’t have the financial aid, my house, which can hardly be called so, was a living battle field! A war zone…you can’t call a war zone ‘home’…it’s like trying to drown a fish! It just…can’t be done!
War zone…arguments. That’s all it was…my parents fought all day long…they don’t even sleep in the same bed! How miffed is that? You’d think I’d like…be a cutter…or a rebel or…some lunatic drug dealer/stripper! But…I want a better life for myself! And no one, no even Spencer’s Mom, can stop from choosing that for me! This is Missy-utopia, leader/dictator/Queen being me.
I’ve told Ryan all my issues, and how the only thing basically keeping me alive besides those four amazing idiots I called my friends, was that purple iPod! Honestly, whoever gave that to me was amazing! Basically saved my life.
________________
“You know what I should do?” I said unlocking my door.
“What?” he said cringing at the loud yells of my parents.
“I should just…walk up to the principal and be like, ‘give me my diploma’ and be out!” I said shutting the door behind Ryan.
“You see this? It is two hours after curfew and she has barely arrived!” my mother yelled. “She is 18 and she makes her own rules Beth!” my dad then yelled.
“But I actually don’t want to attend graduation.” I admitted.
“I actually got a suit.” he said proudly opening the basement door for me.
“Ryan,” I said confused. “Why would you do that, you’re in college!”
“I want to go to your prom.” He said simply, locking the door. Just in time too, I could hear my mother rampaging down the stairs.
“They’re fighting again?” Ryan asked, cringing at the loud bangs at the door.
“What’d you expect.” I said shrugging it off. I went into my room as he entered the little guest part of my basement. “’Night Kensington.”
“Ryan!” I whispered. He looked back at me. I patted my bed. He laughed and grabbed a pillow from his, which is actually mine, bed.
____________________
“So...you won’t be here?” Ryan asked looking at me.
“Well, that’s what my folks think.” I said putting on my jeans. “Ginger said she’d keep me until you guys finally go on tour.”
“Well that’s cool, but how are you so sure about our rise to fame?” he said smiling.
“I just know, just trust me, okay? Besides, how are you not famous when Pete freaking Wentz signs you?” I said, trying to pick out a shirt.
“Well…true. Wear the grey one and pass me the white one.” He said appearing next to me.
“Fine. Oh my gods dude!” I said. He listened in the distance as I took my bra off.
“What?” he said.
“Come here.” I said.
He turned around and then blushed fiercely as he looked at me. “When you’re famous, you’ll see lots of this.” I said rolling my eyes. “But dude, they’re getting bigger! I have to wear a freaking sports bra!”
“Why am I the only one of the guys you do this with?” he said sliding on his shoes.
“I have no idea. Well maybe because Spencer and Jon are like my brothers, obviously awkward. And well, Brendon…just comes off a bit too strong.” I said, now the one blushing.
Neither of us knowing what to say, we dropped the subject and jogged up the steps.
_________________________
“Just give me the shades Ryan!” I said shoving my glasses into my backpack.
“Not until you answer my question.” He said stuffing my sunglasses into his pocket.
“You haven’t asked me a question idiot.” I stated. Jon and Spencer then jogged up to catch up. Brendon was the last to ‘pick up’ on our walk to school.
“Well I was about to ask it Miss Narrator.” He said pushing me playfully.
“Then shoot kid.” She said wiping the sweat off my face.
“Let me take you to your prom.” He said casually. Knowing him, I could tell he felt a bit nervous.
“For sure?” I asked arching an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah. So..?”
“I guess. Not like anyone else was going to ask me.” I said shrugging.
____________________
“This week, prom! Bring guests, have fun, and be safe! Here’s to a better life for our senior graduates!” the announcement said.
_______________________
“Kenny!” Brendon said chasing after me. When I said he came on too strong, I lied. He didn’t come onto me that much, but you could tell he was at least mildly interested.
“Why do you call me that? And what do you want, I’m late for Art.” I said rushing as I was dialing the numbers into my lock.
“You got a date to Prom yet?” he said hopefully.
“Kind of? Why?” I asked grabbing the Art supplies from my locker.
“Oh, no reason. Just seeing, but you know, if he bails on you, I’m always a phone call away.” He said smiling.
“Thanks Brendon.” I said giving him a half hug. “And don’t take that to heart.”
“I hope you get detention!” he scurrying into his History class.
“Mr. Urie, you are 6 minutes late! Stay here after class!” Mrs. Leech yelled.
I snickered as I entered my Art class undetected.
_______________
“That was completely dreadful.” I said tuning my inner Simon Cowell. They all stared at me disappointed. “You guys need someone new here, my ears are too biased.” I said simply.
“Wait, does that mean you think the song was actually horrible?” Brendon asked.
“I’ll give my honest opinion as soon as Ryan gives me my shades that he was supposed to this morning.” I held grudges easily.
“Kenny, they’re on your head.” Brendon said smiling.
“Stop calling me that Brendon.” I said lying down on his couch.
“I am walrus. Coo-coo cachou.” He sung.
“Spencer, what’d your mom say about today?” I asked.
He walked over with his drumsticks and started lightly tapping my head. “She said its fine as long as your mother doesn’t catch you.”
“Jon, let’s go runaway from my house.” I said stretching.
“Oh, I want to come too!” Brendon squealed.
I grinned and nodded as I walked out the door.
____________________
Sorry, this chapter is a little bit more amature than planned. i just needed to get from point a to b so sorry if this sucks. It'll get better, i promise.
“Ryan, did Spencer just say what I think he said.” I said ceasing the Twizzler-up-the-nose shoving.
Dropping the F-bomb, he gave me a guilty look.
“Oh my god, dude! Dude—I mean—why—how—Ryan!” I said exasperated.
“You act like I did a federal crime or something Ken!” Ryan said to me. We were riding in the Panic van and Spencer had just informed me about Ryan’s little mishap with my iPod.
“You lost my iPod,” I had said, “You lost Barney,” I said glaring at him for several more moments. Jon had finally given into himself and started to laugh.
“Ryan, you are right, but…it’s Ken’s iPod…you know how she is about her iPod…especially when it was from her lover.” He emphasized on the lover part. I flicked one of the Twizzler’s up Brendon’s nose at him.
That purple iPod that was with me through thick and thin! It was special…it was from a guy…I don’t know who it was from specifically, all I know is that on my birthday, on my house’s doorstep, was a crappy wrapped box containing a purple iPod in it. It had a note attached with sloppy handwriting. ‘You need this more than I do.’ It read. I stowed that note away.
“Maybe if we look hard enough…” Ryan said.
“No, there’s no point….” I said sullenly.
“What happened?” Brendon had said. I was surprised he was that asleep. He’s usually awake. One of those Ritalin kids you know?
“Nothing...except, you got some bears in the cave.” I said.
He was confused.
________________________
“Listen, I’ll buy you a new iPod, okay? Please, look I’m so, so sorry!” Ryan said walking with me to my house.
“Dude, its fine. That’s what a CD player is for!” I said chuckling quietly.
He gave me an apologetic smile. “Hey, I don’t feel like walking home, can I crash with you?” Ryan asked.
“Sure thing George-e-boy.” I said.
________________________
Some days, I couldn’t help but stare at Ryan. His ears were pierced; his hair was choppy and brown. But something about this tall kid made me wonder.
When I first met him, I called him George, but he insisted upon Ryan. So Ryan it was, and we were friends ‘til the end. Joined at the hip was a common phrase our teachers defined us with. Spencer had soon made friends with me after that since he and Ryan were also buds. The only annoying thing about being with him so often was that people, even the teachers, asked when one of us was going to ask out the other. We both grew up and met new people in our high school, including Jon. Jon then introduced Brendon into the group. That’s when he, Jon, Brendon and Spencer made a band with a silly name. That was it! He’d be the famous musician I suspected he always wanted to be. I remember the day I told him that once he does get famous, to never change himself.
Ryan gave me a hug and said I was going to get tugged along for the ride so he had nothing to worry about.
That’s the day I declared Ryan Ross my only family. Well…the closest thing possible.
My mother and father were workaholics so I never saw them much. It didn’t really scar me though cause honestly, it taught me responsibility, respect, and that my parents were complete A-Holes.
I was a single child and that only made me want to live a completely different life from that of my biological parents. I wanted siblings…even worse, I wanted a kid.
A child of my own.
I wanted to forget about my own issues for just once and just get lost with a child. But I’d never be that stupid. I don’t have the financial aid, my house, which can hardly be called so, was a living battle field! A war zone…you can’t call a war zone ‘home’…it’s like trying to drown a fish! It just…can’t be done!
War zone…arguments. That’s all it was…my parents fought all day long…they don’t even sleep in the same bed! How miffed is that? You’d think I’d like…be a cutter…or a rebel or…some lunatic drug dealer/stripper! But…I want a better life for myself! And no one, no even Spencer’s Mom, can stop from choosing that for me! This is Missy-utopia, leader/dictator/Queen being me.
I’ve told Ryan all my issues, and how the only thing basically keeping me alive besides those four amazing idiots I called my friends, was that purple iPod! Honestly, whoever gave that to me was amazing! Basically saved my life.
________________
“You know what I should do?” I said unlocking my door.
“What?” he said cringing at the loud yells of my parents.
“I should just…walk up to the principal and be like, ‘give me my diploma’ and be out!” I said shutting the door behind Ryan.
“You see this? It is two hours after curfew and she has barely arrived!” my mother yelled. “She is 18 and she makes her own rules Beth!” my dad then yelled.
“But I actually don’t want to attend graduation.” I admitted.
“I actually got a suit.” he said proudly opening the basement door for me.
“Ryan,” I said confused. “Why would you do that, you’re in college!”
“I want to go to your prom.” He said simply, locking the door. Just in time too, I could hear my mother rampaging down the stairs.
“They’re fighting again?” Ryan asked, cringing at the loud bangs at the door.
“What’d you expect.” I said shrugging it off. I went into my room as he entered the little guest part of my basement. “’Night Kensington.”
“Ryan!” I whispered. He looked back at me. I patted my bed. He laughed and grabbed a pillow from his, which is actually mine, bed.
____________________
“So...you won’t be here?” Ryan asked looking at me.
“Well, that’s what my folks think.” I said putting on my jeans. “Ginger said she’d keep me until you guys finally go on tour.”
“Well that’s cool, but how are you so sure about our rise to fame?” he said smiling.
“I just know, just trust me, okay? Besides, how are you not famous when Pete freaking Wentz signs you?” I said, trying to pick out a shirt.
“Well…true. Wear the grey one and pass me the white one.” He said appearing next to me.
“Fine. Oh my gods dude!” I said. He listened in the distance as I took my bra off.
“What?” he said.
“Come here.” I said.
He turned around and then blushed fiercely as he looked at me. “When you’re famous, you’ll see lots of this.” I said rolling my eyes. “But dude, they’re getting bigger! I have to wear a freaking sports bra!”
“Why am I the only one of the guys you do this with?” he said sliding on his shoes.
“I have no idea. Well maybe because Spencer and Jon are like my brothers, obviously awkward. And well, Brendon…just comes off a bit too strong.” I said, now the one blushing.
Neither of us knowing what to say, we dropped the subject and jogged up the steps.
_________________________
“Just give me the shades Ryan!” I said shoving my glasses into my backpack.
“Not until you answer my question.” He said stuffing my sunglasses into his pocket.
“You haven’t asked me a question idiot.” I stated. Jon and Spencer then jogged up to catch up. Brendon was the last to ‘pick up’ on our walk to school.
“Well I was about to ask it Miss Narrator.” He said pushing me playfully.
“Then shoot kid.” She said wiping the sweat off my face.
“Let me take you to your prom.” He said casually. Knowing him, I could tell he felt a bit nervous.
“For sure?” I asked arching an eyebrow at him.
“Yeah. So..?”
“I guess. Not like anyone else was going to ask me.” I said shrugging.
____________________
“This week, prom! Bring guests, have fun, and be safe! Here’s to a better life for our senior graduates!” the announcement said.
_______________________
“Kenny!” Brendon said chasing after me. When I said he came on too strong, I lied. He didn’t come onto me that much, but you could tell he was at least mildly interested.
“Why do you call me that? And what do you want, I’m late for Art.” I said rushing as I was dialing the numbers into my lock.
“You got a date to Prom yet?” he said hopefully.
“Kind of? Why?” I asked grabbing the Art supplies from my locker.
“Oh, no reason. Just seeing, but you know, if he bails on you, I’m always a phone call away.” He said smiling.
“Thanks Brendon.” I said giving him a half hug. “And don’t take that to heart.”
“I hope you get detention!” he scurrying into his History class.
“Mr. Urie, you are 6 minutes late! Stay here after class!” Mrs. Leech yelled.
I snickered as I entered my Art class undetected.
_______________
“That was completely dreadful.” I said tuning my inner Simon Cowell. They all stared at me disappointed. “You guys need someone new here, my ears are too biased.” I said simply.
“Wait, does that mean you think the song was actually horrible?” Brendon asked.
“I’ll give my honest opinion as soon as Ryan gives me my shades that he was supposed to this morning.” I held grudges easily.
“Kenny, they’re on your head.” Brendon said smiling.
“Stop calling me that Brendon.” I said lying down on his couch.
“I am walrus. Coo-coo cachou.” He sung.
“Spencer, what’d your mom say about today?” I asked.
He walked over with his drumsticks and started lightly tapping my head. “She said its fine as long as your mother doesn’t catch you.”
“Jon, let’s go runaway from my house.” I said stretching.
“Oh, I want to come too!” Brendon squealed.
I grinned and nodded as I walked out the door.
____________________
Sorry, this chapter is a little bit more amature than planned. i just needed to get from point a to b so sorry if this sucks. It'll get better, i promise.
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