Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance

Messed Up

by lostmyfearoffalling 6 reviews

Frank and Gerard discover that there's more than friendship. But where's the difference between love and lust? Possibly continued, if you want it to be...

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: G - Genres: Romance - Characters: Gerard Way - Published: 2009-07-04 - Updated: 2009-07-05 - 1800 words

So, new stuff. I'm still doing Higher Than Hell though, don't worry. Hope you like it. Sort of biographical. Dedicated to...someone who knows who they are.

Frankie and I sat in his bedroom on his bed. Music blared from his stereo, and I listened to it, letting it fill me up inside the way it always did. He was tapping excitedly against the wood, in quick staccato motions. The beat was impulsive, random, spontaneous. Just like him.

I reached over the side of the bed, grabbing my Pepsi off the floor and taking a sip. As I did, Frank bumped me and I sputtered, as the soda dripped down my face and shirt.

"Frank," I groaned, setting the drink back down.

He laughed, and his cheeks reddened suddenly. I looked away, and raised my hand to wipe the soda off my face.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Frank said quickly, jumping. I froze and looked at him, confused.


Frank smiled, in a way that is impossible to describe. But it was something similar to what it would look like if he was high, happy, and about to skydive with a 50% chance of his parachute not working. His voice was abnormally pitchy as he replied to me.

"I wanna do something." He leaned into me quickly, leaving me stunned and robbing me of my chance to ask him what exactly it was that he was going to do. I was going to speak, but the moment I felt his tongue on my cheek I was sent reeling, and speaking became an impossibility.

I felt the wetness as his tongue slid quickly over my skin, and I could feel the sweetness of his breath on my face. I wanted to scream when he pulled back, and the skin he'd touched was burning and frozen all in the same moment.

There was a moment of silence before he gasped to me, "Did you like it?" His voice trembled and I wished his hair wasn't in his face the way it was, because I couldn't see him nearly as well as I would have liked.

I looked at him, adrenaline burning through my mind as I took in his flushed face. "Yes," I breathed. "Yeah. "

He grinned at me, and I swear that goddamn smile set the sun to shame. I stared at the joy that was plain on his face, and a thought entered my mind.

I spoke quietly, and I could see the excitement burning in his eyes. "Do you want me to do it to you?"

Frank nodded, and I leaned in to him, my tongue extending from my mouth. It played gently along his skin, and I could taste him. I forced myself to stop after two seconds, or maybe years.

He giggled the way he always does, but there was an extra bit of ecstasy involved. "You did it longer than I did."

I smirked, and tried to control my voice. "Is that a bad thing?"

Frank giggled again, and shook his hair out of his face so that I could see the way his eyes were shining. "No. It's not." He breathed softly. "Can I tell you something?"

At this point I just forced myself to be prepared for anything he might say. But it still wasn't anywhere near enough.

"Sometimes...sometimes I think I like you. Too much." Frank giggled hysterically and actually fell off the bed, leaving me sitting completely still. After a moment he stopped, and climbed back up next to me.

"Gee? Gee say something?" He begged.

I looked at him, his dark wide eyes. "You aren't joking?"

Frank gulped, his eyes reminding me of a deer in headlights. "No. I don't know. Do you want me to be?"

"No." I whispered to him. "I don't. "

Frank's eyebrows moved together, creating a soft crease in his pale forehead. He didn't speak though.

"I like you too much too, I think." The words fell from my mouth, and I felt the sudden swell of excitement and stupidity and nervousness that he had only moments before. I giggled, rolling over. Then I regretted it, and turned over to see his reaction. His cheeks were burning, and I could still the faint shine where I'd licked him. He was grinning, and his high pitched giggle escaped his mouth.

He clutched his sides and rolled around on the bed. I laughed watching him, until it got to be too much. I was burning inside. I wanted him. I leaned over, with everything I was doing feeling like a fast forward, and licked his cheek again, leaping up off the bed and jumping up and down all in the same second.

Frank sat up, looking like he had an electric current running through him. He jumped off the bed too, and took a step towards me.

A moment of doubt took me over at that point. I liked girls. A lot. A whole lot. But I wanted Frankie. He gave me such nice feelings. I was lost.

I didn't know what to do, and he was coming towards me again. So I giggled and threw open the door. "Come on. Let's go before anything happens." I said, tearing down the stairs. I looked back over my shoulder, hoping that I hadn't hurt him. He didn't look hurt. He looks flushed and jumpy and out of control. Which is exactly why I'd gotten him downstairs. I didn't want to take this too far, too fast. And I had no more control over myself than he did. So I figured we were both much safer around other people.

Downstairs we jumped down onto the couch, sitting close as we always did. We tried to calm ourselves, but neither of us could keep as straight face when we looked at each other. We both collapsed into laughter, falling into each other. I could feel him, and I was so afraid for my hands wandering that I sat on them. Franks parents eyed us, and it was obvious that they could tell something was different.

“What’s going on boys?” Frank’s father asked over the top of his glasses.

“Nothing.” Frank squeaked, then looked at me, and fell all over himself again.

Frank’s father raised his eyebrows skeptically. “Are you sure it’s nothing? Nothing is happening with you two?”

I gulped, as his words struck fear deep into the pit of my stomach. I could see Frank was just as scared as me. He jumped up, answering his father as he pulled me along behind him.

“Nope. Nothing.”

We dashed up the steps back to his room, the secret retreat, the only place we were safe. Once the door was slammed shut, we dove onto his bed, lying next to each other and staring. I couldn’t help but smile at him.

Late that night, we were battling with each other, and ourselves, trying to keep everything straight. It was obvious how confused we both were. I wanted him. He wanted me. But we didn’t really know if we WANTED each other. We couldn’t see the line, between lust and love. We had no idea which side we were on.

“I want to kiss you,” he whispered to me.

“Then do it,” I moaned in his ear, stroking his hair.

I could see him blushing in the light from the laptop on his bed. “But Gee, I…” he giggled. “I kind of want to kiss a girl first.” He looked up at me with an abashed expression. “No offense.”

I laughed. “It’s fine. It’s ok. I don’t care.”

Frank smiled nervously, and then buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do! I want to kiss you so much! But I don’t want that to be my first kiss. ARGH!” He groaned to himself.

I watched him fighting with himself. This wasn’t an issue for me. I’d already kissed a girl. It wasn’t a great kiss. Awkward. I knew Frank would be better.

“Frank, it’s fine. I don’t want to ruin it for you. You shouldn’t have to miss that.” I said as I held him.

He mumbled something that I couldn’t understand.


“I said I almost don’t even care anymore. I can’t take it.” He leaned into me fast, and our noses were almost touching. I could breathe him in; I could practically taste him. And then he pulled up, curling into an embarrassed ball.

“I’m sorry Gee,” Came his muffled voice. “I’m sorry. I do want it.”

He sat up again, leaning, but I put my hands securely on his shoulders.

“Frankie, listen to me. I won’t do it. I won’t be your first. I won’t ruin you.”

“You won’t ru-“ I cut him off, clapping my hand over his mouth.

“I won’t do that. Kiss a girl first. I’ll wait for you.” I smiled. “Besides, just because I can’t kiss your lips, doesn’t mean I can’t kiss you.” He looked confused.

“Lie down,” I whispered to him. He lay back softly against the pillows. I got on my knees, pulling the neck of his shirt down to expose his collarbone. I left a series of small kisses there, and my tongue played along the slim bone where it dipped into his skin.

Frank’s breathing became wild, and a moan escaped his perfect mouth. “Gerard,” he breathed into the air,that had suddenly become warm. “Oh god.”

I stopped, after a too short period of time.

Frank smiled. “Now you.” He pushed me against the bed, ripping at my shirt the same way. But his kisses were soft and delicate, and his tongue was heaven against me.

“No more,” I whispered, as the kisses changed, becoming more lust fills and desperate.

Reluctantly, he pulled back, looking into my eyes with an indescribable expression.

“No more for now.”

Are you ashamed to
Say what you want to
Say what you want to
And are you afraid to
Tell me you want to
Tell me you want to
She says live up to
Your first impression
My best side was your
Worst invention
Why can't you live
Without the attention
Why can't you live
Without the attention
And I don't think
I'll ever come back down

I hope you liked it. There's more to this story for me...and for somebody else (wink). But whether or not you all get to see that is up to you, so let me know if you want more. And rates and reviews never hurt anyone :) The song for this chapter is One-Eighty By Summer by Taking Back Sunday. Check it out!
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