Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > The Secrets We Keep...

Chapter 32

by flawedrainbow 2 reviews

-Holly's POV-

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama,Humor - Published: 2009-07-17 - Updated: 2009-07-17 - 2910 words

-Holly's POV-

I was really having a blast with Audrey. She got to extend her stay and hung out with us for a week! She was so cool, and we’re becoming like sisters! I even got a nose piercing the other day with her! On the side of it. It’s just a little stud. Bill went crazy over it. I can’t wait to get home and see him. I haven’t been with Evie lately, but she’s been on meds, and stuff, and we can’t really take her anywhere with a bum foot. I hope she understands…

Audrey and I were drinking smoothies at a local smoothie place in the town, talking about the shoot with Skelanimals.

“It’s always super fun!” Audrey said. “The team is so laid back, and you never feel pressure.”

“I know.” I giggled. “They were so nice. I thought for sure I was going to screw up my first official day!” That’s right, I signed with Audrey’s agency. Bill’s ecstatic for me. Then again, if I wanted to be a hobo, he’d still be happy for me. We’ve always supported each other, and what we wanted to do, as long as it made the other happy. I miss him so much. He’s coming to tomorrow nights show, and I’m so excited!

“Don’t worry. You’re a natural. You’ll do fine.” Audrey giggled. “So, what’s the plan for tonight?”

“We’re going clubbing!” I said excitedly. “God, I haven’t been to a club in forever!”

“Me neither. Work has me pretty busy. I’m considering this a week off.” Audrey said. “What about your friend Evie, are you going to bring her? I mean, I feel like I’ve been occupying all your time…”

“I really don’t think she should go. Her stitches might open up. It’s not that I don’t want her to go, I do! I just want her to heal fast. She’s been through a lot of shit lately.” Audrey was so sweet to think of her though. To be honest, I haven’t been around Evie too much. She’s either napping from the meds, or in a bad mood from not having the meds. Plus I’ve had work, and any alone time I get, I’m on the phone with Bill or updating my buzznet account. I became a huge buzzmaker over night, due to Audrey.

“I do agree, although I don’t know her very well. I’d want her to get healed up and rested before clubbing.”

“Hey, let’s go pick out our outfits!” I said.

“Yeah!” We got up from the table with our smoothies and walked back to the buses. We were laughing and Patrick told us to quiet down or else we were going to wake Evie after we had got on the bus. I rolled my eyes, and Audrey and I quietly grabbed our suitcases and brought them to the back lounge. We went through everything, new stuff, old things, each others clothing, and arranged the perfect outfits.

I chose my red and black plaid dress with black peep-toe pumps with little bows from Audrey. I picked out a bunch of blue rings, admiring my engagement ring too, and a pretty necklace. Audrey chose a black corset-like tank top and a bright blue skirt. We chose some jewelry for her, and then went out front, sitting on the couch with Patrick and Joe. I’d taken to like being able to be a girly-girl for once. Well, more so than usual. I mean, Evie’s amazing, really, and we’re both just “one of the boys”, but sometimes I need a break from it. Bill and Audrey are really the only ones that let me be that. I like to shop; I like to wear pretty dresses, and make-up and get manicures. I like going to clubs and having girl nights and gossiping. But I rarely get to do so. Now that I’m friends with Audrey, she’s like an outlet for it.

“Let’s do something!” I suddenly popped up.

“Like what?” Audrey asked. I thought for a moment, twirling my hair around my finger.

“Uhmm….I don’t know! Just something! I’m bored!”

“Let’s do makeovers! I used to be a hairstylist, and I’m great with make-up! That way, we’ll be done by the time we have to get to the club!”

“GREAT!” We giggled and went to the back of the bus. She set up the curling irons and straighteners and all the hair products we’d need. She sat me down on a small stool after I changed into one of Bill’s old button down plaid shirts. I was texting and gossiping with Audrey about everything and so incredibly happy to have another girl that I could gossip with. She finished my hair, sweeping my bangs to the side, then started on my makeup. Smoky eyes, a little sparkle at the outer corners, and then dark pink lips. Then I started on her, straightening her pink hair and gently combing over the extensions. Once I was finished with that, I started on her makeup. I basically gave her the same smoky eyes, but she had rosy lipstick. We put on our outfits, hearing the commotion of boys outside and double checked each other, making sure we both looked fabulous before we unveiled ourselves. We both gave each other ten’s on the hot-o-meter, and giggled excitedly, strolling through the bunks and making our appearance up front.

Jaws dropped when Audrey and I made ourselves know in the front of the bus.

“H-Holly! Are you sure Bill would approve of you wearing that…in public?” Patrick asked. I rolled my eyes.

“It’ll be fine Patrick. I can handle myself.” I giggled. “And I know how to get out of trouble with Bill. He doesn’t get mad at me anymore.” Audrey giggled and we sat down, waiting for everyone else to meet at our bus. Evie and Pete were going with us, but I still didn’t fell Evie was well enough to go. Regardless, we all piled into the van and went to the nightclub. When the van had barely come to a stop, Audrey and I, along with Ryan and Brendon were practically running in. The beat of the techno song pulsed through me as we flagged down a booth to fit us all. I sat tightly between Audrey and Ryan, who was my “boyfriend” for the night, according to Bill. The others joined us and we all ordered a round of drinks. I let Audrey pick something for me, and we both were holding a Sex on the Beach. I giggled after she told me the name and made a mental note to get Bill to try the real thing.

“Let’s go dance!” Joe shouted, and everyone (but Evie, of course) flooded the dance floor, me being protected from sleazy guys by Ryan’s arm around my waist and hand lightly on my hip. We all started dancing with each other, Brendon with Audrey, but respectably, because he wouldn’t want to mess things up with Evie….again. After about four or five songs, I felt Ryan’s thin lips press to my ear.

“We should head back to the booth.” He said over the music. I turned back to him.

“You save the dance floor for us, we’ll be right back.” Audrey and Brendon followed me back up to the booth where Evie sat, looking grumpy. Audrey had said something about the song that was playing and we made it to the table laughing.

“Well, I’m glad you’re all having fun.” Evie spat. It’s sad to say, but I just snapped. I was sick of her attitude, and she was making Audrey feel uncomfortable with all this drama. After some heated words, she got up and hobbled out of the club quickly. I was far too upset to chase after her, Brendon too drunk, and Audrey too out of the loop. I knew Ryan was too messed up to go after her, but I figured she’d be fine hailing a cab to the buses, where the drivers were waiting for us. I took three shots to clear my head and went back to Ryan, who smirked and we began dancing again. At the end of the night, the majority of us were pretty much drunk, Audrey and I not too much, but still pretty bad. Patrick and Andy were the only sober ones, and I vaguely remember getting laid down on the back lounge bed next to Ryan and Audrey, who were also passing out.


The next morning, I woke up with a severe hangover. I groaned sitting up, looking down at Ryan and Audrey and giggling, then grasping my throbbing head. I went to the bunks and grabbed some clothes. I took a quick shower in the bathroom and used my wet to dry straightener and put my “nerd” glasses on that matched Bill’s. I walked out to the front after taking fast acting aspirin and didn’t pay attention and knocked into someone.

“Sorry.” I mumbled, looking up at who I had bumped into. “BILL!” I hopped onto my tiptoes and kissed him excitedly, wrapping my arms around his tall frame.

“Hi baby.” He smiled leaning in again. I kissed him happily again, hugging him tight to me. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” I whispered, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne.

“Awwwe! Lovebirds!” Joe said when he came upon us hugging. I blushed and buried my face in William’s chest, who just laughed and held me closer.

“Joooooe! Stop!” I giggled as he made kissy noises at us. I shot a playful glare at Joe whilst taking Bill’s hand and taking him to my bunk.

“Hey! Don’t sex it up too much! There are drunks trying to sleep back there!” I blushed again and pulled Bill into my bunk with me. We laughed quietly at the snores around us, remembering the old days when we first got real serious about each other. We shared a laugh and he kissed me, I melted under his touch I’d missed so much. I sighed when he pulled away and looked up into his eyes. He hadn’t changed a bit; I don’t know what I was expecting, we’d only been apart for a month and a half. But I had changed so drastically. My hair, my clothes, my personality; I just hope he sees the same old me.

“What’s new with you?” He asked, laying down and pulling me to him.

“My hair, my clothes, I think some of myself as a person has changed…” I said quietly. Bill smiled at my uncertain voice.

“I love your hair.” He kisses me. “I love your clothes.” He kissed me again. “And you’re still the same Holly I love from what I can see.” This time I kissed him and smiled at him. “You’re beautiful.” I blushed yet again.

“You’ve gotta stop saying that.” I whispered, brushing his hair back. “You’ll inflate my already large ego.”

“You’re worse; you treat me like a piece of meat!” William jokingly scandalized.

“I can’t help that honey.” I giggled, curling into him and feeling sleepy again. I had forgotten how complete he made me feel by just being here.

After our short nap, we had woken up and went back out to the front lounge.

“Audrey!” I giggled. “Audrey, this is Bill.”

“Nice to meet you, finally!” Audrey laughed. “You’re all Holly ever talks about!”

I am, am I?” Bill asked, raising his eyebrow at me, and I blushed. “It’s nice to meet you too. Holly thinks you’re the greatest.” My face got even darker and I laughed uncomfortably.

“I talk about you two a lot, okay?” I chuckled as Bill hid my beet red face in his chest.

“So, what are we doing today?” Patrick asked.

“Well, we have a shoot, until whenever it ends, and then we were going out for food.” I said. “You can come, don’t worry.” I said to Bill, who smiled and hugged me again.

“I’m going to work on some new stuff then, and are you going to take Evie?” Patrick asked. I looked down at my shoes.

“Not really no…we kinda had a falling out last night. I’m going to give us a few days apart. You know, to cool off some.”

“Okay. You guys have fun. I’ll be checking in later.” Patrick said as Audrey and I gathered our things and jumped off the bus, Bill in tow. At the photo shoot, we were dressed in these awesome vintage outfits, like from the sixties and everything. We were by a riverbank, with a few trees. It was beautiful. Bill stood in the back by the crafts service table, and watched and Audrey and I posed. During a small break, I decided I would climb one of the trees and the photographer decided to take pictures of it, as did Audrey, as Bill stood down below, laughing at me and telling me to get down. I stuck out my tongue at him and pulled Audrey up on the branch with me and we sat there and the photographer decided we’d pose up there.

After the shoot, we went out to a late lunch, where we sat around and ate and talked. I checked my phone, and there were messages from a bunch of people, but not Evie. I was worried about her. I really hadn’t meant what I said at the club…oh well. Hopefully I’ll talk to her tonight. Back at the venue, I saw Pete, and ran up to him.

“Hey, have you seen Evie around?” He looked a little nervous, but I shrugged it off as the show was only an hour or so away.

“Uhm, she’s in her bunk sleeping. But I wouldn’t bug her. Her foot was bothering her, so she took some meds, and she might be upset if you wake her up.” I nodded and patted Pete’s shoulder, then continued to the buses. I was packing an overnight bag for the hotel stop tonight and Bill wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close.

“I missed you.” He said, kissing me sweetly. “Do you know what it’s like not having you sleep beside me?”

“The same as it is for me without you.” I answered, looking into his eyes. “I haven’t slept well since I left. Your hoodies are not you.”

“I love you.” He whispered nuzzling into my neck. I laughed softly and laid a kiss on her neck.

“I love you too.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Audrey said, standing at the entrance to the bunks, her eyes covered. “I didn’t mean to interrupt, but the show’s starting and you told me to come get you guys!”

“It’s okay Aud, you’re fine. We weren’t doing anything.” William said, smiling. “Ready?” I zipped up my bag and smiled.

“Yup.” I grabbed his hand and Audrey’s and we ran off the bus back to the side of the stage. I smirked up at Bill, and he smirked back. Bill was in for it tonight. Nearly two months without him? A girl has got to have some loving.


“Babe, that was amazing.” He sighed, kissing me before rolling off of me. I smirked and rolled myself over and propped my head up on my elbow, looking at him. “God, I really missed you.” I laughed as he pulled me to him again and kissed me.

“How many times are we going to say we missed each other this week?”

“A lot.” He said, nuzzling my neck. I played with his hair and sighed. “What is it?”

“I just…this is the most complete I’ve felt since I came out here.” I whispered, William looking up at me with a soft concerned look on his face. “I’ve felt empty for the past few weeks, and I went out for sushi with Ryan, and we were talking about it, and he made a lot of sense. He told me that it was the baby. That, it was a part of the two of us, finally connecting us, and when it went away, I just felt empty and alone….but with you here, I don’t get that. I missed you sooo much, I even cried sometimes. You’re the only thing I want in life.”

“Holly.” He whispered, hugging me tight. “I love you so much. And I felt the exact same way. Maybe you should leave the tour? We can work this thing out, make it easier for us to be away from each other.”

“I think being together like that might just make it worse.” I said. “Not that I wouldn’t love it, but maybe this is what we need.”

“As long as you’re safe and sound, and come back to me in one piece.” He kissed me, tucking me into his arms for a good night’s sleep.
Sign up to rate and review this story