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7. THE WHOLE STORY

Since the phone call I had been sketching out wildly. I hadn’t told Pete that I had received Crystal’s call. Some things weren’t worth making him stress about. Last thing I wanted was to have another argument with Pete over something stupid.
Besides, even if I wanted to contact him I wouldn’t have been able to. He wasn’t answering at home or his cell, which made me worry a little bit.
Some days wished I could be just like Gabe, life would be so easy and fun and carefree and I wouldn’t have to stress about dumb shit that kept me awake at night like being dragged home kicking and screaming.
I had to avoid situations like this when I was younger, if anyone was allowed five minutes to persuade me into anything, me they would get there. Like Gabe getting me to all of his parties and William getting me to spend the weekend with him.
It was like a leap from one extreme to the next, and I hadn’t been feeling well either lately. But I felt like there was no point denying the chemistry that William and I had together.
Pete didn’t like the subject of William lately either, nearly as much as he didn’t like the subject of his wife. I felt bad for the two of them, yes even Ashlee.
She might not be the easiest person to live with when she constantly suspected her husband of playing the field all the time. I mean, I would be suspicious too. I was a bit younger than her and she would be feeling insecure and the rest of it.
I contemplated leaving for a holiday. It would tie in nicely with the whole Crystal thing and William can decide if he can live without me and the rest of it.
But then I remembered that I didn’t have as chunky of a bank balance as everyone else I knew, so my ‘holiday’ would have to wait.
So yeah, let’s go back a bit, I was spending the weekend with William.
That one is OH MY FUCKING GOD material if you ask me.
I had my little weekend suitcase packed, Ollie was meant to be staying with Pete and Ashlee this weekend, it seemed like either of us wouldn’t be going anywhere soon and William was due at my place at six—that gave me about half an hour to find Pete.
I rang his mobile one more time.
It went straight to voice mail, I sighed, “Pete, remember, you were supposed to pick Ollie up at five, well, its five thirty, where are you? I can drop him off if you can't make it. Call me back. Bye.”
I clicked end and threw myself down on the couch.
“Mum?” his voice was small, he looked sad.
Ollie popped his head out from around the corner of the door way.
I sat up, “what is it honey?” I held my arms out and he slowly walked over and crawled up on the couch. I pulled him into my lap and he didn’t say anything.
“Ollie? What is it?” I brushed his gorgeous bouncing curls away from his face.
“Mum, I want to come with you. Sometimes, I don’t like to play with Bronx, because he makes me sad that I don’t have a dad.”
Did four and a half year olds usually talk like this? I mean honestly… you’re breaking my heart here.
“Honey, you do have dad.”
“Why doesn’t he want us then?”
“He does… he’s just busy.”
“Well, Billy isn’t my daddy and he’s not too busy for us, Petey isn’t my daddy and he’s never too busy.”
He played with my bracelet.
“Aw, sweetie, I’m sorry that your daddy is always busy, I want him here as much as you do.”
He put his arms around my neck and cuddled me tightly.
I couldn’t help it. I started crying, I cuddled my little boy back tightly. I breathed him in, his innocent little smell and his gorgeous, gorgeous curls. I never wanted him to grow up. I wanted him to stay this sweet and cute forever. I tried to stifle my crying, wipe my tears away quickly.
Ollie pulled his face away and looked up at me, “mum, don’t cry!”
That didn’t help. I cradled him to me and I wept like a mad woman.
I didn’t know what made me cry so easily, maybe it was just everything taking its toll on my emotional well being.
“Why are you sad mummy?” his crystal blue eyes gazed up at me.
“Because mummy wants your daddy, and she wants you to know all of your family. I know that your nana would love you to pieces. And your Granddad would be so proud of you, and your aunties, and your uncle…” I broke down again, he jumped off the couch and went and got the tissue box from table.
“Here mum.” He pulled out like twenty and folded them all into quarters and put them on my lap.
I kissed him on the forehead, “I love you sweetie. Even if you don’t have your daddy, I love you.”
“I know, I love you too mum.” He kissed me on the cheek.
I wiped my eyes and blew my nose.
“Go get your bag darling and bring it out here so that you’re ready for Pete when he comes.”
He nodded and marched of to drag his little bag out into the lounge.
I went and brought mine out as well.
At quarter to six, there was one small knock on the door. I leapt up to open it, William was early and Pete was late, this was a disaster.
But when I opened the door, it wasn’t William, it was Pete.
“Why did you knock?” was the only thing that came out of my mouth, not ‘hello, I’ve been worried about you!’ or ‘you’re forty-five minutes late what the hell is your problem?’.
His face fell when he was almost about to go into this massive spiel, “have you been crying?”
That’s when I spontaneously combusted.
I broke down into a blubbering mess and he had to drag me all the way over to the table and sit me down.
He flicked my hair over my ear, “I’m sorry, I’m late, please I promise it wont happen again…don’t cry…” he pulled a chair around and sat next to me, rubbing my back slowly and holding one of my hands.
I leaned on his shoulder and had the hugest cry I had ever had.
Almost ten minutes later, when Ollie had come and sat with Pete while they both comforted me…my tears ceased and I drew one big shaky breath.
“Now, can you tell me what that was about?” he asked softly, passing me another tissue and smiling softly.
I shook my head, “just the usual you know,” I looked at my sweet little boy, “h-h-he” I took a deep breath, “he wants to know who his dad is. He gets jealous of Bronx because he has his dad.” Tears swam in my eyes again. I could read the heartbreak on Pete’s face… it wasn’t fair, none of this was fair. My whole life was a screw up and I had brought Pete’s down with me.
He couldn’t even say anything to me, he just patted Ollie on the head, “can you go and get mummy the toilet roll Champ?”
Oh god I had used all the tissues.
Ollie trotted off obediently.
“Trix, I’m so sorry, I know it’s not fair, but what would happen if we told him? We just can't, one day he’ll know, I know that sometimes it’s just not good enough, but one day we’ll tell him everything and he’ll understand. He’s our son, how can he not understand?”
I shook my head, “he’s going to hate me when he does…” I looked towards the door. It was half open and someone was standing in the door way.
His face was shocked and confused and heartbroken and stunned and everything else that his expression could possibly portray.
I felt Pete’s hand go cold in mine; all three of us just stared at each other in silence.
Ollie came running back into the lounge; he dropped the roll as soon as he saw William.
“Billy! You came early!” he ran to him and William swung him up in the air. When he broke the stare, Pete and I looked at each other. We were both thinking the same thing,
Oh Fuck.
I stood up quickly and ran to the bathroom. A wave of nausea had me on my knees and I retched into the bowel, tears sliding down my cheeks, again.
“Trix?” he pulled my hair back just like the first time and rubbed my back slowly.
“Please, just leave me be.” I mumbled, and I slumped down on the floor.
I closed the door when Pete stepped back. He was shaking his head slowly and pleadingly when I looked up at him for a second before the click of the door in its place.
I don’t know how long had been sitting there slumped against the wall in our tiny toilet room before there was two soft knocks on the door.
I let it open because I was sick of being alone and crying and the rest of it.
Pete was standing there with Ollie’s bag over his shoulder and Ollie in front of him, holding both of his hands.
I put my hands forward and Ollie came to me.
He hugged be even harder than before, then he kissed me on the cheek.
“I’ll see you on Sunday mum. Be happy.” I kissed him back.
“I love you Ollie Darling, be careful.”
Then Pete pulled me to my feet and hugged me tightly, it was jut what I needed when I felt like I was falling apart.
He started whispering in my ear, “you can tell him everything, you can tell him anything, he’s a good guy and he cares because he’s still here and I trust him not to say anything but whatever you need to help, you can talk to him, I want you to talk to him. I’ve been so unfair to you and you’ve just put up with me and I admire you for it, you make me realize whats worth living for and that life isn’t against you. You need a break, and then when you come home, if you still need to talk, we’ll talk. I promise. Look after yourself.” He kissed each of my hands and then my forehead, then he heaved Ollie up and carried him away. I heard him “see you soon,” to William before the door closed.
I stood there for a while before I wandered into the bathroom and gargled some mouthwash to get the horrible taste out of my mouth.
Then, slowly and cautiously, I wandered through to the lounge room.
William was standing looking out the window. It was quarter to seven and the sky had grown dark.
I slowly walked around the couch and stood about two meters behind him.
I saw him looking at me in the reflection of the window.
“I still want you to come with me.” He mumbled, turning around.
I nodded, “let’s go.”
He walked forwards and kissed me.
“Yes, let’s go.”

*

The waves crashed down on the sand. The sun lit up the whole cabin; bright white light flooded my eyelids and forced me to wake up. I could hear the gulls calling from outside and I could feel the light sea breeze on my face.
I crawled out of the bed that I had woken up in and I found a dark red, heavy robe that I draped over myself before I emerged out onto the deck of the boat. I squinted against the light. The sails were down, but there were a few perfectly shaped white clouds in the sky.
We weren’t moving anywhere but we weren’t that far from land, I could still see the coastline…
William snuck up behind me and put his arms around me tightly.
“Good morning sunshine.”
“Good morning,” kiss “where are we?”
“Somewhere off the Malibu coast,” he let me go and then whipped a white cloth off from a huge breakfast. Fruit: all types of melon and berry you could imagine, croissants, waffles the whole she-bang.
Not a piece of toast or a cereal bowl to be seen.
Heaven!
“Where’d you pull the boat from?” I asked, throwing back a glass of orange juice before starting on the strawberry pile.
“It’s Gabe’s, he has a safe house back on shore, and he said I could borrow it for the weekend.”
I nodded and laughed, “safe house? For what? When he’s trafficking drugs?”
We both had a chuckle, although not quite sure if it was a joke or not.
The weather had been kind to us so far, the sun was warming me up in the huge robe that I guessed was Gabe’s.
He won’t mind, he wore yours remember.
Yes that was a strange night that was...
I sat there and slowly devoured almost half of what was in front of us, all the while discussing things that we both knew didn’t matter.
I wasn’t quite ready to spill all of the secrets that I had kept locked away in my closet for the last four and a half years.
“So I thought that we could go snorkeling, there’s a reef just two hundred meters that way,” he pointed over my shoulder, “and then we could sail off to a few places I know around these little coves and such.”
“Sounds great!” I said excitedly, eating more.
“Are you okay?” he looked really concerned.
I shrugged and the nodded, “I’ll go put my togs on shall I?”
I felt guilty, I hadn’t explained anything to William, and I had fallen asleep and woken up here. We hardly spoke at all.
I changed into my togs, I had those funky ones that were bikini at the back, but they had that piece down the front that connected the top and the bottom. I put some shorts on as well then I went back up on deck.
William was waiting for me with a mask, “you have to promise me that no matter how unattractive this thing makes me look, you will not laugh!”
I dreaded the massive goggles and the snorkel thing making me look like a retard.
“Ok, I can't promise but I’ll try.”
I pulled it down over my eyes and shoved the mouth part in my mouth.
William snorted and turned around, “flippers?” he pulled the bird feet out of the bag and put them on for me while I sat on the side of the boat.
I pulled the thing out of my mouth.
“Your turn now!” he put his huge flippers on and pulled the mask down over his eyes.
“Oh yeah, that’s sexy.”

We did the reef thing, turned out more like seven hundred meters than two hundred but that was ok because I had a big breakfast. We were there for like a couple of hours until my hands were wrinkled up and all the fish had been scared away.
It felt like a tropical holiday, the water was warm, the sun was out, and the fruit was fresh… I didn’t want the sun to go down.
And when it did, we were anchored out from the shore again, the lights of Malibu were not quite enough to distract me from the lights in the sky.
It had been so long since I had just lay under the stars and relaxed. I had an afternoon sleep on the comfy seat up top while William played the hot chef grilling our delicious lamb kebabs.
I woke up to the smell of roast pecans and mint.
“Mmmmm! Whats cookin’ good lookin’?” I said chuckling to myself while I stretched.
“Oh you’re awake! Just in time, Merlot or Pinot Noir?” he asked holding up a bottle in either hand.
“A man that knows his wine!” I cried, “thank you so much!” I prayed to the twinkling heavens above. “Pinot noir, if you please.”
He smiled, “well, I’m pleased you know yours… because if you couldn’t tell the difference between a cabernet and champagne, you know I would have to throw you over board right now.”
I took my seat at the table and he laid a plate in front of me.
“Whoa, this smells amazing!”
“Why thank-you, I do believe, I influenced it completely.”
“Oh yes, “I laughed, “of course.”
We ate under the stars and chatted about wine and Italy and his touring and his music and my film school and everything else under the stars. Then after we cleaned up, I put a cardigan on and we sat on the seat above and tried to look for constellations.
I didn’t know any from this hemisphere at this time of year, while William pointed out almost fifteen!
Then we sat there quietly for a moment.
“Ollie’s a good kid.” He said, completely out of the blue.
I looked up at him, He wasn’t looking at me or the stars, I dint know if he was looking at anything, just gazing of into the distance…
The cogs were turning in my head.
He stayed, anyone would have completely ditched after the first bombshell that you dropped but he stayed, then there was the second bombshell, the one that was never supposed to be told… he’s still here, he hasn’t told the tabloids, he’s here… with you… what does that tell you?That he is a stupid, stupid boy.
Maybe so, but he’s still here and he doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere, what have you got to lose? More damage would be done without him knowing the full story; you owe him that at least.
Imagine all those dredged up memories though? What if I just start crying and blubbering al over again? I don’t want that to happen…
You won’t, this time it’s different, and you’re telling him this for information sake. To keep him on the level, it’s the only way if you want him to stick around.

I decided to go with the sense speaking voice in my head in your case, the italics.
I set my glass down and I turned to face William.
“I… I think that, if you’re willing to listen to me, I’d like to explain the whole situation to you…”
He looked at me, “it’s kind of what I’ve been waiting for.”
I gave a half smile, no it wasn’t even a half of a smile, it was a quarter of a smile, an awkward quarter at that.
“We’re going to be here for a long time, the only way I know how to do this is from the beginning.”
“We’ve got all night.”
“Okay, then. I suppose I’ll start like this…”

Ok, to save you all of those parts where I switch my position because I had been sitting there so long and all the times that William tried to butt in, but I had to shut him up or I would forget where I was, I’ll cut all of that and I’ll give you the straight story. You might no some of it, but I’ll explain it in a way that I would as if I were going to write it out as a story… are you ready?

I met her in high-school and we lived together for like four years of my life, she was like my sister. We loved the same styles, the same celebs and the same music, which usually meant that we went to all of our concerts together.
When I finished school, she still had one more year, and both of us always thought man, we should just pack up our shit, withdraw all of our money, buy some cheap plane tickets on grab-a-seat.com and leave the fucking country. But both of us being very sensible people… well we never had the guts for any of it and I finished school without sneaking out once.
I moved to Auckland to go to university (college) and I met my boyfriend Jackson who was in a band with a guy that I knew from up north. So after about eight months with Jackson we moved in together. Then Fall Out Boy was coming to do a concert so I bought Crystal and I some tickets and we were all set to go and she was going to come and stay with Jackson and I like she did every time we were going to a concert together.
Something happened and it turned out that Crystal wouldn’t be able to make it to the concert. So it was either waste my money or go, so I went…Alone.
This is the part where I explain chapter one to William with less of the … well with less of the detail.
It was about ten weeks later that I started to think something was up. I had been late, for all you ladies out there, and I felt like shit half the time.
I wondered if I was anemic or stressed or something so I went to the doctors and do you want to know what they said….‘congratulations!’
I was shocked, mortified more like, and when he told me I was ten weeks, I kind of traced it back to the night of the concert and I said to myself ‘holy shit’. I couldn’t tell Jackson. He would dump me like a sack of rubbish, I couldn’t tell Crystal…yet. But she did come down and stay with us two weeks after I had been to visit the doctor. I caught a ride back with her and I went home to tell my parents. I thought that they would understand, my half sister having a baby at nineteen and all. I let them think that it was Jackson’s. It was the only way, my mother being the skeptic she was wouldn’t believe what really happened if it jumped down her throat and she had to pull it out of her ass.
So, when I told them, this is how it went down.
“Trix, you’ve been quiet all weekend? How’s that boy of yours?” dad asked one night during a silent dinner affair.
I put down my knife and fork. And looked up at my parents, they both seemed to look older every time I saw them.
“Mum, Dad, you know how hard I have tried to make it big and all. To make you guys proud of me so that the expensive education and all doesn’t seem like such a waste, and how much Nan and pop have put in and Aunty Daphne…”
“Just spit it out Trix!” Mum always hated it when you denied her news.
“I’m Pregnant.”
“What?”
“Prego alfweggo, I am fo shiz up the spout.”
“What?”
“I am going to have a fucking baby.”
They looked at each other, mum went kind of pale and dad stopped eating and left the room.
“Mum?”
“Trix, you’re throwing away your life here.”
“What do you propose I do? Have you ever been in this situation?”
“I told you this when you were fifteen, none of my babies were mistakes. Abort? Adopt? You can't keep it Trix. You have too much going for you.”
“Abort? No fucking way! And end up like that whore from school? Depression when I’m thirty? Adopt? I could never give away something that live inside of me. Mum just listen—I’ve had time to think about this… and to be honest, I want this baby.”
She sat there shaking her head.
“No. You’re not keeping it. its not like your rabbits where you drop a leaf in the cage, its not like a lamb that you raise and put out in the paddock… its going to end your life and I don’t think that you understand what its like—”
“Shut Up! You have told me nothing but that my whole life! ‘You don’t understand’ blah fucking blah! I’ll show you Mum, I’ll show you my baby when I do have it and it’s the best thing in the world.”
“We won’t support you; I don’t want anything to do with it. You’re not even married for god’s sake! The guy a bum that wastes his life with guitars and music….there is nothing to be gained by going through with this and everything to be lost.”
“You supported Katie. Y-you helped her out when she needed money for her kid’s treatment. And now you’re going to abandon me?”
“We aren’t going to abandon you. I’m just trying to make you see!”
“No! You see! I tell you this and whats the first thing you do? You pick a fucking fight with me rather than talk this through. Some things can't be undone mum and this is one of them.”
“When you make the right decision as to what is going to happen, I’m not going to listen to you. I think that you should just go up to your room. You’ve ruined the night for all of us.”
I wanted to slap her so bad that night. I had never wanted to hit anyone more than I did then, but I clenched my teeth and I walked away.
That night, I heard her argue with dad. I wasn’t going to give my baby up; there was no way I hell that the thought had ever crossed my mind. They had me in university, studying a subject that I hated.
Finance and business studies.
I hated it so bad but I wanted to make my family proud of me so bad that I went along with it. Now was my chance to break free. Sure, I was going to be as broke as fuck for the rest of my life, but my baby was going to have the best life I could give it.
Then I remembered Pete, I thought, he has got to have some slight recollection of what happened. He’s the only chance I have.
So I wrote him a letter, I’m sure he might even still have the letter hidden somewhere.
I can pretty much remember word for word what I wrote that night.

Pete,
I have no idea if you remember me at all or infact if you remember what happened between us on the night of the Concert at Vector Arena in New Zealand twelve weeks ago.
I know that this is going to sound so off the planet that its not even funny, but, but well, two and a half months later, I found out that I was pregnant…its your baby.
I understand completely if you don’t believe me. But I need you to know that I have no support from my parents at all. They have yet to disown me and scratch me from the will, but I am on my own.
I need help of some sort and I am praying as you read this that you are thinking what I thought when I found out and, well, I need your help!
I don’t want my baby growing up in squalor.
I don’t want my baby to not have a father.
I understand what kind of position I may have put you in with your career and your family and the rest of it, but please try and see this from my perspective. I don’t want your money, I don’t want to blackmail you, I don’t want to potentially be any part of your life unless that’s what you want. I just need your support because I cannot get rid of this baby, ever.
My heart wouldn’t be able to take the pain.
So please, for the sake of an unborn child…
Write back at least, or call me or whatever. But I do need an answer.
Yes or no.

I signed the letter with my name and phone number and I attached the latest ultra sound photo. Then I addressed it to his parents’ house. I knew their address from Google earth. And the next day, when I left home with all of the baby clothes that I could hunt down, and without saying goodbye, I posted the letter off and I returned to Jackson.
I didn’t get to talk to my Dad at all.
I thought of all those times when I told him that I was going to be a famous movie producer and that I was going to have seven babies and I was going to have a brick house in the country with a white picket fence and ivy growing up the spouting, three lambs in the front field and chickens.
He looked almost as excited about the idea as I did.
I waited two weeks, Jackson knew that something was up and he and Crystal were having secret conversations. She came to me when I was fourteen weeks and she asked me straight up.
“Do you have cancer?” She was dead serious too.
“No! What in goodness name made you think that?”
“You don’t even drink anymore, you’re taking tablets, you don’t eat some foods you go to the doctor enough and Jackson tells me how at three o’clock in the morning you get up to throw up.”
“I don’t have cancer; I’d tell you if I was going through something like that.”
“What is it then?” she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight, “you can tell me, whatever it is.”
I shook my head, “no, its something that doesn’t involve you, I just need a bit of time.”
“How much time, it’s been going on for long enough any way. You’re breaking his heart you know, it was a toss up between cancer and you living a secret life. The only reason we went with cancer is that you never even leave the house anymore.” Her eyes were watering.
“I’ll tell you what; if I can have ten days… then I’ll tell you whats going on. Jackson can't know anything.”
She nodded. “Ok, but no more than ten.”
Crystal went back for the week; it was five days later that anything happened.
It was a Sunday morning and I was reading a book on the couch when my phone rang.
With-held number it said on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Trixibelle Swan?” the voice sounded foreign yet familiar.
“Yes..?”
“Well, at least I know your name now. It’s me. Pete.”
I took a moment to breathe.
“Can you talk?” he asked.
“I can. I was about to give up hope that you cared.”
“I didn’t. I barely do still because it could be some plot, some off the walls far-fetched plan to get in contact with me. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about your letter all week. I think, before I do anything, you should get a paternity test.”
“Not until it’s born, there are too many health risks.”
“Do you know what position you’ve put me in?” he snapped, “Do you know what would happen to me if the world knew, if my wife knew?”
“I’m sorry.” I said quietly, “I’ll get the test, after the birth. Not before.”
“Are you really in the position to set conditions right now?” he growled.
“I don’t know, you tell me? I know one thing for sure. I’m going to have my baby. If you want anything to do with it, you make that choice, but do make the choice, give me a yes or a no and I’ll stop wasting your time. If you won’t help me, then I’m on my own here and when it asks who its dad in, I’ll tell it. What it does from there is not my choice.”
“So it is a scam? Do you want money? The fame? The publicity? What do you want from me? This kid might not even be mine and why are we having this conversation?” he asked in frustration.
“look, whatever position you’re in, I’m sorry I’ve been an inconvenience for you but right now I would so much rather we weren’t having this particular conversation. But make your mind up. And I know that you wouldn’t have given the letter a second glance if you could live with this on your conscience.”
I really wanted to just hang the phone up and forget that it had ever ringed. But I didn’t, I wasn’t, I knew that the sun probably wasn’t up where he was and he was calling me in the dead of the night. Guilty conscience indeed.
He sighed, “You’re right Ok? You’re right; I can't sleep at night because of it, but why did you even bother contacting me, and sending the letter to my parents? What was that? It was lucky that I was the one that picked their mail up that day or they might have read it!”
“Your parents read your mail?”
“If it’s sent to them it’s usually one of those fan mails.”
“So how long? How long do you need?”
“I don’t know. Who knows?” he said sharply.
“My parents, they threw me out.”
“Did you tell them—?”
“No I didn’t mention your precious name.”
“So where are you living?”
“At my flat, with my boyfriend.”
“How do you know it’s not his fucking kid?” the new information had him almost yelling.
I waited. I wasn’t going to have my ear burned off.
“Are you done? I just know these things ok, some things, private things, I just know and that’s enough for me to believe.”
He didn’t say anything.
“I have five days left before I have to have a straight story for my sister.” I added, “And I’m not going to mention you don’t worry, do you get that no one would believe a story like that anyway?”
He sighed again, “Well, things are harder over the phone.”
“I know, believe me.”
“Can I have tonight to think about this, it’s a whole lot different now that you have a name…”
“Ha! Sure you can. But if you decide to not have anything to do with us, at least let me know, don’t let me sit here and think what if… for the rest of my life.”
“Sure.”
Two days later I received a courier package of a one way plane ticket with a note.

Trixibelle,
I’ll pick you up at the air port. I haven’t had the chance to ring. You’re staying with me and my family for now. I know it’s a lot to ask but it will be easier this way and you can always go home. Please tell me you have a passport… I guess I’ll see won’t I.
See you Thursday,
Pete

I actually couldn’t believe it. I never even expected him to think twice about the letter and until then I had been contemplating my life alone. I couldn’t even pretend that Jackson was the father.
Saying goodbye wasn’t going to be an issue.
I was just going to leave and save myself the hassle.
Hell yeah I had a passport.
See you Thursday Pete

LAX is the most difficult air port to arrive at or depart from. I had to wait almost an hour and a half after landing before I got my suitcases back.
Then I sat down and I looked around. I didn’t expect him to have a sign or anything. So I looked for him instead.
He had been hiding in a corner.
It was an awkward car ride and awkward introduction to Ashlee. I was ‘his friend’s girl.’
He told her the minor details, like I was expecting and that I had no where to live and the rest of it, and she looked after me. She was really nice for the first six weeks. The nicest person in the world, she was like a best friend.
Then I moved out into my apartment with hand me down furniture and the rest of it.
Pete had kind of gotten used to the idea, well I don’t know if he did or not. I earned a bit of money, got a job, Catherine knew that I’d have to go on leave in like three months after she employed me, but I looked after the neighbors two daughters for her and… soon enough along came Ollie.
I smiled at the thought of my baby, he was so gorgeous. Pete and Ashlee both came to visit me in the hospital.
We decided to leave Pete’s name off the birth certificate for the time being.
The paternity came back as a match eight weeks later.
That was a very awkward night as well; Pete hugged me and told me that he wanted to be there for Ollie’s life, he told me that he was glad I wasn’t a psycho and that he made a good choice following his instinct the day that he didn’t throw my letter away.

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