Categories > Books > Harry Potter > To Fight the Coming Darkness
Naked Hannah
11 reviewsHarry gets the best friend interrogation. Peter snaps! Voldemort and Scrimgeour scheme. All this and yet another concept you don't see in fanfiction.
5Original
Reviews
To Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) Shobs 2006-04-07
That's certainly interesting! Harry made a deal with old Ruffy? Brilliance! I wonder how it will turn out..
An excellent chapter. 'twas very entertaining. nods Thank you.Author's response
Thanks for the review. I post my author's notes on darklordpotter(dot)net. One of the things Harry will have to worry about is, by throwing his support behind Rufus, is he trading a Dark Lord for a Fascist Generalissimo?To Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) Gibby 2006-04-09
This story is original and has great twists and turns. Thats just some of the things i like about this story. Anyway hope you update asap.
-GibbyAuthor's response
I update every two weeks so it will be a little while. Hopefully, the end result is worth the wait! -- JimTo Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) whatareyouevensaying 2006-04-10
Before I get into details, let me just tell you how impressed I am with your story. Very. I found it through reviewers of my own first fanfic. When at least three of them (and probably more, I can't remember) had it listed in their favorites, I couldn't resist checking it out.
I don't like to write long reviews, so I'll settle for telling you what I like most about your story.
First off, you avoid clichés more effectively than any other fanfic author I've ever read. You do so intentionally, but without it bothering me, as I thought it would. Your treatment of Lily and Scrimgeour are on the forefront of my mind, as well as your more in-depth analysis of other characters, such as Moody and Neville.
My other favorite element is Susan. She isn't a Mary Sue, and she isn't like most of the characters I've seen shipped with Harry. You've written her well. Also, I'm always a fan of unique ships.
One final thing to compliment, though it goes hand in hand with your habit of avoiding clichés. Narcissa Black. You've done a fantastic job with her, and all of it was in a single chapter (or perhaps a pair of single chapters, I can't quite recall).
In any case, I'm eagerly awaiting your next update.Author's response
Thank you for the vote of confidence. I don't necessarily avoid the cliches. I would like to think I give them a fresh twist. One of the reasons I am somewhat avoiding Hermione and Ron in this story is to develop the second (and sometimes third or fourth) tier characters. Ron is going to be stuck in the unusual postition of having to play peacemaker between Harry and Hermione.
I get mixed reviews on Susan. Sometimes she's a bit too flighty, but I think I am doing okay all things considered.
For someone who made such a brief appearance and disappearance from the story, Narcissa left an impression on everyone. With the politics heating up, I'll have to bring her back eventually. -- JimTo Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) riegert8 2006-04-15
What do you mean the full verison at some other site. If that the case. Let me know so I stop reading a story that is a short version and try to find better storys. Why are Hermione and the Weasley's still living with Harry when they think of him as a dangerAuthor's response
Whoops. My apologies. The full version of my author's notes is on Darklordpotter. I upload the same version of the story to ff.net and ficwad. FF.net gets really tight on really long author's notes. So I post my chapter summaries and other odd thoughts on DLP. Sorry for the confusion. -- Jim
Ps. To answer your question ask yourself why they are living there in the first place? The Burrow isn't very safe. Plus you can be sure that Dumbledore didn't want Harry and all those other kids their by themselves.To Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) The_Resident 2006-04-29
Another nice chapter. I can see you're building up to something more exciting. I'm glad you're taking your time to do so. (It's alright to throw in a tense scene or two before the next big confrontation.) -grin- Keep up the good work.To Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) saugart 2006-10-10
I am so pleased to have your fine story to read.
You write the following sequence:
"Would you be surprised if I said I wasn't sure?"
"You'd at least gain some points for honesty."
"Why her and not Lee, err Ginny?"
Don't forget; leave the closing quotation marks off when the same speaker is then immediately continuing talking. So you wanted:
"Would you be surprised if I said I wasn't sure?"
"You'd at least gain some points for honesty.
"Why her and not Lee, err Ginny?"
You've added some nice depth to Hannah Abbot's character. It's also nifty that you had her learn Occlumency.
Harry's instructions to Hedwig are good: Claw him if you feel like it. Shit on him too for good measure.
Perhaps oddly, this was the most disturbing part of the chapter for me:
"It took the callous adults less than one week to discover it and kill it in front of the horrified children."
You write: "finding nothing other then". You mean: "...other than"
You write: "If some gossip about you and I ...."
You want: "If some gossip about you and me ...."
or: "If some gossip about us ...."
This is a nice reference to HBP: "Everything I had heard up to this point led me to believe that you were Dumbledore's man through and through." This is a really good job of not letting anyone consider Harry to be OOC.
You probably want to modify this bit of dialogue, perhaps by combining three sentences into one:
"I realized this morning that if this war is to be fought. The leaders should want to win. They should be warriors and not politicians."
It's not a complete sentence. You could say, more grammatically:
"I realized this morning that, if this war is to be fought, the leaders should want to win. They should be warriors and not politicians."
You write: They could care less unless their domain is threatened.
I suggest: They couldn't care less unless their domain is threatened.
I like your author's notes, where you give some rationale. It would be a help if you'd indicate where on the Dark Lord Potter forums I should go. A URL would be ideal.Author's response
Thanks for the long responses. Once I actually finish this story, I will probably go back and clean it up.
http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=674 is the discussion link for this story.
Thanks again for taking time for reviewing.
JimTo Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) Dragen 2006-10-20
What a good chapter, and I can't wait to see what happens next... but I have to say that Molly wouldn't go off on one on Harry, she thinks him as a son. I know that she is worried, but Harry is right "Unless I am mistaken, Bill and Emmeline Vance were in charge last night. I volunteered to go along with them. They are the Order members. Your adult son is the Order's Dark Creature expert, yet here you are in my kitchen, issuing me ultimatums while I'm trying to eat breakfast. You can conjure a patronus. You could have helped us fight the dementors and vampires. You could have come along, but you didn't. Don't go projecting your guilt on me." And as for Ginny and Hermione, they shouldn't be mad at Harry, he had all rights to say the things that he said, anyhow, won't they the ones that tried to control who he can and cannot date... they have no rights to be mad at him.
Dumbledore is a real fool, I can't believe he hadn't told the Order not to fight VoldemortTo Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) GryffindorDragon 2007-04-01
Now that is an interesting shift. Molly goes from scheming to set Harry up with Ginny to telling him he's dangerous to her family and to stay away. ?? I guess she isn't rational. I'm surprised Harry didn't ask her to leave his house. (Would she really tell Harry to stay away in his own house?)Author's response
Well losing children can make a parent a bit irrational and overprotective...~JimTo Fight the Coming Darkness
(#) GryffindorDragon 2007-04-01
Now that is an interesting shift. Molly goes from scheming to set Harry up with Ginny to telling him he's dangerous to her family and to stay away. ?? I guess she isn't rational. I'm surprised Harry didn't ask her to leave his house. (Would she really tell Harry to stay away in his own house?)
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